Promise To Love Me, Even When You Hate Me
by Seaheeler
Summary: Maybe we like the pain, maybe we're wired that way. Because without it, maybe we just wouldn't feel real.
1. Chapter 1

Okay, here we go again!

This wasn't the fic I was originally going to post ( yes, I have multiple ones on the go) But I was too excited about this plot not to, but once again, and you think I would have learned my lesson, I don't have a plan, just an idea.

So, sit back and enjoy, this is only a tid bit, enough to lure you in, hahaha!

Promise To Love Me, Even When You Hate Me.

Chapter 1.

"It's gonna be okay, I promise."

He swallowed hard knowing he needed to keep calm, closing his eyes he took a deep breath in and reopened them as he exhaled. She lay on the ground, her body twitching. _You can do this, just breathe._ His hands ran over her stomach searching for the entry point, he couldn't find one, there was too much blood.

"You can't promise that."

Lifting her head she cringed seeing the amount of blood that covered them both. She lowered her head back on the ground and clutched her hands on top of his. He grit his teeth knowing she was right, but he wasn't going to let her know that.

"Yes, I can."

He tore off his shirt and placed it over her stomach, pushing down he attempted to stop the bleeding. His eyes darted up to her face, it was draining of colour, like the life was being sucked out of her. Their eyes met, he hoped his didn't give away the terror that he was feeling. Raising a hand he wiped the tears that were forming hoping she wouldn't notice. He replaced his hand firmer than before, determined not to let her down.

"Don't do this to me, please, I beg you."

She let out a scoff and her eyes met his.

"Beg? I've never heard you beg before."

He watched as more blood poured from the wound as her stomach pulsated from her attempt to laugh.

"Don't talk, you're making it worse."

She coughed trying to catch her breath.

"Oh, just because I'm dying doesn't mean you can boss me around."

He clenched his jaw, how dare she joke, he gripped her hand tighter and leaned down, his face centimetres from hers.

"You're NOT dying!"

His tone was rough, he was angry at her for even suggesting it. Tears ran down the edges of her eyes, she hated that he was with her in this moment.

"Just hang in there, help is on the way..."

He looked into her eyes hoping that his stern expression would make her believe him. She shook her head as she tried to blink away the tears, her blood stained hand reached up and caressed his cheek.

"It's too late, I'm sorry..."

He let out a sob and lowered his face to hers, their lips met, the kiss lingered, he didn't want it to end. He felt her exhale and pull away, he didn't want to open his eyes, he knew what he would find. Taking a deep breath in he opened one eye followed by the other, she lay on the ground still, her eyes closed. He shook her slightly, not wanting to believe it, she didn't respond.

"No! Don't do this to me!?"

None of it felt real, he was in a daze and didn't hear the roar of the ambulance pull behind him. The paramedics ran to his side and snatched her body out of his reach.

"How long has she been down?"

He sat there frozen, he watched as their mouths moved but he couldn't hear a thing.

"Sir?"

The paramedic shook his head then nodded at his team mate.

"Right, start CPR..."

He sat there helpless, sound began to return, he could hear them count out the compressions. He couldn't look, he hung his head and his eyes focused on his hands. As the blood ran down his palms, he raised them to his face feeling like they weren't a part of his body. He quickly wiped it off as he heard fast approaching footsteps behind him. They pulled him in various directions, multiple voices demanded answers to their questions but he couldn't respond. He looked back at the paramedics trying their hardest to revive her, he heard one of his crew mates whisper to the other.

"Is she?"

A gruff voice replied before he could finish the sentence.

"Don't even say it."

He watched as the paramedic checked for any vitals, his heart sank as a look of hopelessness covered their faces and they stood from her body. They approached the group, they didn't need to say it, they all knew the outcome. He broke away from the group and ran and scooped up her body.

"No! She can't be, No!"

He held her close and collapsed onto his knees sobbing uncontrollably.

"Please, no..."

He felt a hand squeeze his shoulder and looked up to see an unfamiliar face.

"You need to let her go, this is a crime scene now."

He couldn't do it, it meant that she was gone. The Police Officer looked at his crew mates for help. A familiar voice whispered in his ear.

"C'mon mate, let them do their job."

He gently lay her body back on to the ground and gave her a kiss on the cheek. A pair of hands helped him rise from the ground and he stumbled away from the scene. He sat on the wall that divided the footpath from the beach with his head in his hands. He heard more footsteps approach and looked up, another familiar face appeared, his boss's.

"Guys, what's going on?"

He stood from the wall and his boss stopped abruptly in front of him, his eyes widen seeing the amount of blood that covered him, it must have looked like a scene from a horror movie.

"What happened?"

He couldn't answer, it was his fault. He knew she was stubborn and they had argued, but he was the one who left her alone.

A pair of hands forcefully grabbed both of his shoulders making him stumble backwards, his boss's voice boomed in his ears.

"What happened? Who was injured?"

He shook his head staring into nothingness.

"She's not injured, she's dead..."

End of Chapter 1.

xx


	2. Chapter 2

Promise to Love Me, Even When You Hate Me.

Chapter 2.

5 months earlier.

Mike stood in Maxine's office waiting for his new XO to arrive. He had only seen snippets from their file, but was impressed with their accomplishments and recommendations, this was an officer he was keen to have on his ship. His thoughts were disturbed by Maxine entering with the new XO.

"Commander Flynn, this is Lieutenant Kate McGregor..."

Mike had to look twice, he wasn't expecting a female, not that he had a problem with female officers, it's just that he'd never worked with a female XO before.

"Ah, Lieutenant, pleased to meet you."

Kate could see the apprehension in Mike's face, she wasn't impressed with his first impression either. Mike went to shake her hand, but she saluted instead.

"Sir..."

Maxine noticed the awkwardness between them, she sat at her desk hoping they could make it work. Kate was the 3rd XO to be placed on Hammersley in 2 years, she was sure it wasn't Mike, he was a solid CO, but she wondered if her judgement was clear as he was also her friend.

"Lieutenant McGregor has just transferred from Darwin, so she's got a bit of experience in what we deal with up here..."

Mike glanced over to Kate, he didn't want to make assumptions but she didn't look like a patrol boat kind of person. The only thing she looked like she wanted to do was drive and desk and climb the career ladder.

Kate could feel Mike's gaze on her, she wasn't sure if he was just nervous or if he was judging her. Maxine interrupted both their train of thoughts clearing her throat.

"Right, well, it's a maintenance day today, so probably a good time for you to show Kate around the Hammersley, yeah?"

Mike's eyes darted from Kate to Maxine.

"Oh, yeah, right, umm, well, after you, X..."

He opened the door and Kate exited Maxine's office, Mike lingered back and hovered in the doorway. Maxine knew he was there but ignore him and looked back down at her computer. Mike knew that was a sign that she wasn't in the mood to discuss it further, he let out a loud sigh and ran and caught up with Kate.

They walked down to the docks in silence, Kate stopped a few steps away and scanned the boat, Mike walked on to the gangway and stopped at the top and turned puzzled by her hesitation.

"You okay?"

Taking a deep breath in she walked up the gangway, Mike saluted as she stepped onto the deck.

"Ah, and here we have Thor..."

Mike waited for her to salute, she stared blankly at him wondering what he was waiting for. He nodded towards Thor, she then realised what he was waiting for, she turned and saluted.

"He's never steered us wrong in the past..."

Kate let out a scoff, Mike gave her a funny look hearing her objection.

"What? No mascot on your last ship?"

"Ah, yeah of course, but I believe we create our own fete. I don't rely on a wooden figurine for that..."

Mike walked below ignoring her comment, he hoped that she wasn't going to be so cynical about everything. As they strolled down the hallway, Mike pointed out the various areas and cabins. He glanced over to periodically trying to get a feel of her, she looked nervous, worried even. He gave her a friendly pat on the shoulder making her jump.

"Don't be nervous..."

"I'm not, it's just a lot smaller than I'm used to..."

"That's right, you were on a frigate before..."

Kate poked her head into the Senior Sailors Mess and swallowed hard at the small capacity.

"Yes..."

"Don't worry, you'll learn to love it. Only 23 of us on this tub, we get to know each other real well, our own little Hammersley family."

They heard footsteps approach, Mike looked down the hall and smiled seeing they belonged to Dutchy.

"Ah, and speak of family, this is a bloke you're gonna wanna get to know really well."

Kate focused her attention at the man walking towards them, she stood at attention and saluted.

"Petty Officer Dylan Mulholland..."

Dutchy stopped and glanced at Mike unsure of why his new XO was being so formal.

"Yeah..."

He saluted back and gave her a nod.

"Good to meet you, Ma'am, I see you've done your research."

"Of course, you're the talk of the town after receiving your medal for your bravery in the gulf."

Dutchy immediately broke eye contact and dropped his head, he hated that that's what he was known for.

"Ah, yeah, well ah, so, you from around these parts?"

Kate shook her head.

"No, Perth originally, was in Darwin last."

There was silence, Dylan expected her to expand on her history but that was it.

"Ah, cool, well, I just forgot some things on board, I'm meeting the others for a drink later, you wanna come?"

"Ah, nah, not really a drinker..."

She lied, she had a job to do, she wasn't too keen on getting to know anyone, to form any friendships.

"Ah, okay, but it would be a good opportunity for you to meet everyone..."

Kate's eyes darted around trying to come up with another excuse, Mike could sense that she was uncomfortable and interjected.

"Ah, the X only arrived last night, she may want to get settled in at home."

Dutchy gave her a smile and a nod.

"Yeah, no probs, see you in a few days then."

Dutchy quickly left the awkward conversation, Mike was about to start but Kate interrupted.

"Ah, actually, Sir, if you don't mind I might head off, it's been a long 24 hours."

"Yeah, no problem, we don't sail for a couple of days, so if you need a Cairns tour guide just give me a call."

Kate smiled politely, but she knew that she would not be taking him up on that offer.

"Thanks..."

Kate left the ship leaving Mike scratching his head at their odd encounter. He didn't want to be a jerk and write her off straight away but his gut was telling him different, he headed back to Maxine to voice his concerns.

He hesitantly knocked on her office door and entered, Maxine looked up from her paperwork surprised to see him.

"Finished already?"

"Ah, yeah, she was tired from her travels, she's gone home to unpack."

"Fair enough..."

Maxine focused back on her files in front of her, Mike sat down at her desk wondering how to start. Maxine let it a growl knowing that he wanted to talk, she closed the file and raised an eyebrow.

"What is it Mike?"

"So, umm, why her?"

Maxine's brown furrowed at his question, he cringed a little not meaning it to come out as it sounded.

"Why not?"

"Ah, well she's, look I'm sure she's a great officer, but she's just a bit, umm, stiff, that's all..."

Maxine sat there trying not to laugh, she knew he was going to say something along those lines.

"Well, maybe that's why they sent her to you, maybe they thought you could loosen her up a bit, or the other way round."

Mike let out a groan and leaned back on the chair folding his arms over his chest.

"Right..."

Maxine could see Mike still had concerns, she got up and sat next to him.

"Look, Mike, she's a good officer, her previous CO has assured me she's a catch and we're lucky to have her. She's probably just nervous, you know, new ship, new personalities, and it's hard being the female in charge, you saw how much I used to cop."

"Yeah, I know..."

"Look, you just need to take the lead on this one, make her feel like she's part of the family."

"Yeah, you're right, do you have her address? Maybe I can take her some food or something, try to get to know her."

Kate sat at her kitchen table sipping on a glass of red, scattered over the table were various files with the names of the Hammersley crew written on the front. A knock at the door startled her, she wasn't expecting anyone and called out.

"Who is it!?"

"Ah, Kate? It's Mike..."

Kate scrunched up her face wondering what he wanted, she quickly gathered up the files and placed them on a chair and pushed it under the table. She swung the door open and was greeted with a smiling Mike.

"Hey, you said you were tired, I figured you wouldn't want to cook, so I brought you over Cairns best take away from the Golden Lotus..."

Kate smiled at the gesture but sensed that he had an ultimatum.

"Ah, that's kind of you, come in..."

Mike walked into her house and headed for the table, he unpacked the bags and pulled out a chair, Kate quickly snatched the files away but not before Mike saw his name on the top.

"What's that all about?"

Kate clutched the files to her chest desperately trying to think of an explanation.

"Ah, nothing?"

Mike let out a nervous laugh and raised an eyebrow.

"Nothing? I'm pretty sure I saw my name on that top one..."

Kate could feel her heart beat against her chest, she dropped her head and focused on the floor.

"Okay, you caught me, I'm a loser, this is how I work, I umm, I find it easier to memorise facts than faces, so I just, this is how I process information..."

She glanced up at him hoping that he had bought her story, he eyes quickly focused back on the ground seeing his uncertain expression. He stepped closer trying to get another glimpse of the files.

"So, you basically have dossiers on all of us..."

She clutched them tighter and walked into the kitchen.

"Well, now that you put it that way it sounds creepy!"

She shoved the files into the closest draw hoping he'd forget about it.

"Umm, so you said best take away, huh?"

She grabbed plates and cutlery and another wine glass.

"Do you drink red?"

"I thought you said to Dutchy that you weren't a drinker."

"Yeah, umm, well, not a big drinker in public, I know what drinks at the pub mean when you're a newbie..."

Mike smirked as he served them both a plate.

"Yeah, they go a bit overboard sometimes."

"Well, I just didn't need them to have another reason to umm, to judge, that's all."

Mike glanced over to Kate feeling a little bad, Maxine had been right, maybe her defensiveness had been just that, a defence mechanism.

"They're really a good bunch, Kate, don't write them off before you get to know them."

"Yeah, well, I could say they same."

They sat there eating in silence, Kate almost sighed with relief as her phone rang. She glanced over to her phone and checked the caller ID.

"Sorry, I've got to take this..."

Mike gave her a nod, she got up from the table and walked into her room.

Mike's eyes scoured her house trying to get any clues into her life. The place was neat, it certainly didn't look like she had just moved in, but there was nothing personal on display. No photos of friends or family, no trinkets or nik-nacks. He was brought back to the moment as Kate exited her room and placed the phone face down on to the table.

"Anyway..."

Kate sat back at the table and picked up her fork. Mike cleared his throat trying to think of a question that wasn't too invasive.

"So, umm, this is a nice place, you just renting?"

"Yeah, wasn't sure how long I would be here."

"Ah, okay, well, ah, tell me bout yourself, there wasn't much in your file, well, nothing personal anyway."

Kate shrugged and took another sip of her wine.

"Not much to tell…"

"C'mon Kate, everyone has a story…"

"Not me, I'm boring, straight-A student, joined at 19, the Navy life is all I've known all my life."

"What about family?"

"Ah, Mum and Dad are in Perth, no siblings."

A half an hour or so later the conversation had died off, or rather Mike ran out of questions. Kate pretended to yawn, she was tired of the questions, she didn't really know what Mike wanted from her.

"Oh, sorry Kate, I've kept you up..."

"It's okay, but yeah, probably time to go to bed."

Mike rose from the table and placed the plates in the kitchen and headed for the front door.

"Well, I guess I'll see you soon?"

"Yeah, thanks for dinner..."

As soon a Mike left Kate ran into the kitchen and pulled open the drawer and fished out the files. She sat on her couch, legs crossed beneath her and snuggled into the corner. She opened Mike's file and lifted the first page.

_"Mike Flynn, joined the RAN at 17 and rose up through the ranks. He has proven to be a capable and reliable CO, his passion and commitment are second to none. However, his drive to win at all costs can lead him to conflict with colleagues and superiors, as a result he has gained a reputation of being a 'cowboy'. ._

Kate's eyes narrowed, she wasn't sure if he was going to be a problem.

The next morning Kate ran around the suburb to try to get her bearings, she had her headphones on and was making good time. She felt a presence beside her and glanced over, it was Dutchy. She groaned internally and removed her headphones but continued to run. Dutchy looked over to her with a large grin on his face.

"Hey, X. You're a runner, huh?"

"Ah, yeah."

"Maybe we can be workout buddies, a bit of support, or competition?"

He gave her a friendly nudge with her elbow, she refused to make eye contact with him and focused on her running path.

"Maybe…"

She replaced her headphones over her ears and increased her speed, Dutchy stopped and shook his head at her lack of communication.

"Yeah, good talk..."

He continued to run following the path around the beach, he spotted her stretching on the reserve but kept running. Why should he be the one to make the effort? She was the one who didn't want to communicate. He looked back at her and let out a huff, maybe he was being too harsh, he knew that he could come off a bit intimidating at times. He turned around and jogged over to the reserve, she glanced up at him with an unimpressed look on her face as he approached.

"Are you stalking me or something?"

Dutchy placed a smile on his face ignoring her attitude, he didn't know what had he done to offend her, but he was going to find out.

"Have I done something to piss you off?"

Kate froze, surprised that he was being so direct.

"Ah, no..."

She placed her foot on the nearby bench and reached for her toes stretching out her leg muscles, he folded his hands over his chest not believing her.

"So, why do I get the feeling that you don't want anything to do with me?"

Kate let out a huff, she didn't want to indulge his ego, she stood meeting his glare.

"Well, that's your opinion, I can't help what you assume..."

He clenched his jaw in an attempt to stop his real feelings coming out, he didn't understand why she was twisting everything back on him. He changed tactics, don't be accusative, appeal to her better nature.

"X, we need to be a team, look, I dunno if you've had some bad back up or something, I dunno, but..."

Kate was getting more worked up by the minute, he didn't have any right to judge her.

"Hang on, just because I don't want to be your best friend I'm suddenly the problem?"

Dutchy glanced around nervously, people were beginning to stare. He didn't want to cause a scene, but he didn't want to back down either, especially when he hadn't done anything wrong.

"No! I just don't know why you're so stand offish?!"

She stepped towards him trying to assert her authority.

"So what, I'm supposed to be everyone's best friend from day one, just because?"

Dutchy sighed, it was clear he wasn't going to win the fight, not today anyway.

"You know what, never mind. I'll see you on the ship."

Dutchy ran off shaking his head. Kate sat on the bench and exhaled sharply, she undid her ponytail and raked her hand through her hair trying to relive some tension.

After arriving back at her house and unpacking the rest of her things she shuffled through the files to find Dutchy's. She aggressively flung open the folder and crumpled her nose as she read through the pages.

_"Petty Office Mulholland has great potential to become a strong leader within the RAN. He is fiercely loyal and has shown tremendous bravery while rescuing his fellow crew members from a dangerous boarding incident in which he was awarded a MG for his actions. After the incident that claimed the life of his XO his emotional state has been questioned, even though he had been cleared to return to active duty there were some doubts about his stability and recovery. Throughout the sessions with the counselor he was dismissive and often told the doctor what he felt they wanted to hear. Self doubts plagues him and until he admits his true feelings, he will never be able to move on."_

Kate felt a little bad, she had written him off as the dumb, tough guy, but it seemed that there was a deeper layer. She shook her head dismissing the thought, it didn't matter, she had a job to do.

Her door bell rang, she frowned, she wasn't in the mood for company. As she approached the door, she hoped it wasn't Mike again, trying to play happy crew mates. She cautiously opened the door and let out a sigh of relief.

"Boss, what are you doing here?"

A tall, stern, middle-aged man, wearing a suit walked into the house, he strolled into the lounge room and turned.

"What are you doing, Kate?"

Kate closed the door and scurried into the lounge.

"What do you mean?"

He wandered around the living room ignoring her question, Kate stood with her hands on her hips waiting for him to explain.

"Shaun?"

He let out a disgruntled huff and stood in front of her.

"You need to be less, well, less like yourself…"

Her eyes narrowed disapproving of his answer.

"What?"

"Don't play dumb, you need him to talk, you're not exactly having stimulating conversations."

She let out a hiss and pulled the wire and microphone from her chest and slammed it on the table.

"Ah, he's not just going to admit it…"

Shaun scowled knowing she was just being difficult.

"No shit, but why don't you try being friendly?"

She threw her hands in the air and paced the room shaking her head.

"Because, I don't want to be friends with someone like him."

Shaun placed a hand on her shoulder trying to get her to see reason, her stubbornness always got the better of her.

"Kate, it's your job…"

She rolled her eyes and shrugged off his hand, her phone rang on the table, she immediately picked it up and answered it.

"Kate McGregor, yes, Boss, no worries, see you soon."

She chucked her phone into her bag and gathered up her files and locked them away in a drawer.

"Been crash sailed…"

He walked over to her and stood close, attempting to make eye contact with her.

"Are you prepared?"

She fiddled with her bag avoiding his questioning gaze.

"Yeah, I'll be fine…"

He continued to focus on her, couldn't afford her to be lying, she was a competent leader and always put on a brave face, but this was too important for her to try to fake her way through it.

"Well, you haven't been at sea for a while, that's all…"

She shrugged and swung her bag over her shoulder dismissing his lack of confidence in her.

"It's like riding a bike…"

She picked up the wire and recording device and waved it in his face.

"But you know I'm not gonna be able to wear this on boardings."

He rolled his eyes and snatched it out of her hand and shoved it in her handbag and squeezed her shoulder.

"No, but you can when you're on watch and when you're..."

She rolled her eyes and opened her door as an indication for him to leave, he let out a chuckle standing in the doorway and shook his head.

"Always so pushy!"

She smiled sweetly and placed a hand on his shoulder giving him a slight shove out the door.

"Yup, that's why I'm so good at my job! I'll see you later!"

End Chapter 2.

Please let me know what you thought! And I fully understand if it's a review full of curse words, because now you have more questions than before. Hahaha xx


	3. Chapter 3

Promise To Love Me, Even When You Hate Me.

Chapter 3.

An hour later Kate arrived at the docks, she sat in her car attempting to get it together, it annoyed her that her boss was right in his assumption she was anxious. She hadn't been at sea for a while, even though she had spent some time on a frigate before being assigned to Hammersley, it wasn't enough time for her to feel completely competent.

As she rummaged through her bag looking for her lip balm, she spotted the wire and microphone, she pulled it out and let out a huff. Looking around to check that no one was looking she threaded it under her shirt and taped it to her bra.

Taking a deep breath in she walked up the gangway, she was about to step on deck when she felt a hand on her shoulder, she spun round with an annoyed look on her face.

"Yes?"

Her abrasive tone startled 2Dads, the child-like smile fell from his face.

"Oh, umm, sorry, Ma'am…"

He stuttered not wanting to finish his sentence after seeing her expression, her narrowed and she tilted her head waiting for him to continue. His eyes darted from her unimpressed glare to Thor.

"Umm, you didn't, ah, salute Thor."

He slowly lifted his hand and pointed towards Hammersley's mascot, Kate's gaze followed his finger and she rolled her eyes. She slowly lifted her hand and saluted the figurine, turning back to face him she put on a smile.

"Happy?"

He nodded and payed his respects.

"Don't want to be responsible for us being lost at sea or something..."

Kate ignored his comment and headed below, she unpacked her belongings and wandered around the ship. She stopped in the hallway as she heard 2Dads and Dutchy talking in their cabin.

"Do you think she's gonna last?"

2Dads chucked his bag under his bed and sat on Dutchy's rack.

"C'mon, 2 Dads, don't be like that..."

Kate stepped closer to the door, she was surprised he was defending her after the way she treated him.

"You've had the most interaction with her, what do you think?"

"Ah, only like 20 seconds, look, I dunno, she's quiet. Maybe she's heard about you loud mouths and is worried about what you'll say about her!"

"Hey, we're not that bad! Anyway, it'll be a bit different having a chick on board, hey?"

Kate had heard enough, she placed herself in their doorway and cleared her throat, they both jumped at the sound and turned with nervous smiles on their faces. 2Dads stepped forward breaking the awkwardness.

"Ah, Ma'am, we haven't officially met..."

Kate's face was stone cold, she crossed her arms over her chest and raised an eyebrow.

"Leading Seaman Leo Kosov-Meyer..."

2Dads smirked and nodded cautiously.

"Ah, so you know about me, but how?"

Kate walked off leaving 2Dads and Dutchy none the wiser. She made her way up to the bridge, Mike looked up from the console and smiled seeing her.

"Ah, welcome aboard, X. Let me introduce you to some more of your crew. This is Andy Thorpe, Charge, our Engineer and Chris Blake, our Swain."

Kate smiled and nodded in their direction.

"Guys, our new XO, Kate McGregor…"

He grabbed the binoculars from the near-by bench and held them in her direction.

"You wanna take her out?"

"Ah, nah, that's okay, maybe next time."

Kate walked over to the console as Mike placed himself in the Captain's chair. Dutchy and 2Dads walked up to the bridge, Dutchy stood next to the CO and smiled.

"Another fabulous Navy day, Boss?"

Mike nodded as he placed the binoculars around his neck.

"So, what's up for us to be sailing early?"

"Ah, there's been an influx of FFVs so they just need some backup."

Mike turned towards Kate who was gazing out the port-side.

"So X, you'll be getting your feet wet on your first day..."

She gave him a smile and a nod and focused back out to the water.

Charge leaned close to Dutchy and whispered in his ear.

"She doesn't say much does she?"

Dutchy shrugged, Kate walked past them towards the stairs barely acknowledging their presence.

"No, but she can still hear you..."

2Dads let out a cackle and gave Charge a friendly shove.

"Awkward!"

Kate glanced back at Mike ignoring the scene she had caused.

"Ah, I might go get a brew..."

Kate exited the Bridge and Mike rose from the chair and shot his senior sailors an unimpressed glare, Dutchy tried to hold in his eye roll.

"C'mon Boss, what are we supposed to do with her?"

"What do you mean? You're supposed to treat her like your superior and get along..."

"But she's not giving us anything!"

Mike shook his head in disappointment and headed for the stairs, he flung the binoculars in Swains direction.

"Swain, you have the ship..."

Swain nodded and stepped towards the console.

"Swain has the ship..."

Mike poked his head in various cabins looking for Kate, he stopped at the service window of the galley as he spotted her deep in thought.

"X?"

Her arms were folded over her chest and she leaned her body weight against the bench. The kettle whistled, but she didn't register it, he raised his voice a little louder to gain her attention.

"X?"

She snapped back to the present hearing his voice. He walked round to the door and stood next to her.

"Is everything okay?"

Kate turned around avoiding the question, she grabbed the kettle and poured the water into her cup. Mike stepped closer and leaned on the bench attempting to catch her eye.

"Cos you could tell me if it wasn't, you know?"

Kate slammed the kettle on the bench sick of his questions.

"I'm fine, Boss."

She cringed, she didn't mean to come off so aggressive. Mike let out a sigh wondering if he should leave her be.

"Look, I'm not judging or taking sides, but maybe if you would engage in some casual talk with the guys it might open up the conversation, you know you catch more flies with honey."

Kate sipped on her brew and internally rolled her eyes, he sounded like her other boss.

"Yeah, I guess."

"You just seem hesitant to get to know these guys and I'm not sure why..."

Kate sighed and placed her cup on the bench.

"In my experience it's not wise to get attached to your crew, Navy life doesn't exactly support long-lasting friendships..."

"I tend to disagree, X, I've found the Hammersley to be like a second home, if you let these guys in they will become the best friends you'll have..."

Kate gave him a halfhearted smile and sipped on her brew wishing that she could believe him. Mike gave her an encouraging pat on the shoulder.

"Why don't you take the morning to get your sea legs, try to have a conversation with someone, start with Dutchy seeming he's your right-hand man."

He was the last one she wanted to bond with, she flashed him a fake smile and gave a single nod and headed out to the rear deck.

Mike sighed and poured himself a brew and headed back up to the bridge.

Kate supported herself against the railing, balancing her cup on the top. She let out a sigh, sometimes she wished she had a normal job, one where she could put down roots and make true friends and actually keep plans.

She didn't hear Dutchy approach, he leaned on the railing next to her, she jumped at his presence spilling her coffee over her arm. She let out a yelp, Dutchy winced realising what he had caused, he reached out to check her arm.

"Shit! Sorry, X! Let me have a look..."

She pulled her arm back toward herself and shook her head.

"It's fine..."

She stormed off below, Dylan ran into the kitchen and took some ice from the freezer and wrapped it into a tea towel and followed her into the wardroom.

"C'mon X, let me look..."

He sat next to her and presented her with the tea towel full of ice.

"Here, let me put this on it..."

She reluctantly gave in and he slowly placed the tea towel on her arm, she flinched at sting of the ice and let out a hiss glaring at him.

"Sorry! Maybe I should have Swain look at it?"

She shook her head and placed her hand over the tea towel, their hands touched for a moment, he didn't dare look into her eyes. He slowly moved his hand away and they sat there in silence for a moment.

"Are you sure you're okay?"

Kate scoffed moving her arm away from his touch.

"Yeah, I've been through worse..."

Dylan raised an eyebrow wondering if this was her trying to open up.

"Really?"

She hesitated realising that she had given something away, she broke eye contact and focused on her arm.

"Ah, yeah...umm, it doesn't matter…"

He shifted his body weight closer to her.

"C'mon, X…"

Kate looked up into his eyes trying to register if he genuinely cared and got lost in a sea of green dreaminess for a moment, she blinked a few times snapping herself out of it.

Placing a hand on her collarbone she swallowed hard, Dutchy's eyes widened as she undid the top button of her shirt. He felt his heart rate increase, what was happening? Before she could release the second button they heard footsteps, she quickly re buttoned the buttons and straightened her shirt as 2Dads appeared in the door way. She immediately shifted away from Dutchy but it was too late, the shocked expression on 2Dads face gave away what he had seen.

"Ah, X, the Boss, umm, wants to see you..."

Dutchy and Kate rose from the bench, Kate made her way up to the bridge with the tea towel of ice still on her arm. Mike frowned and gestured at her arm as she walked up the stairs.

"X, what happened?"

"Oh, umm, I was just clumsy and spilled my brew, but I'm okay, what's up?"

"Ah, Swain, can you take a look?"

Kate shook her head and stepped back.

"Sir, I'm fine, there's no blistering."

"Right, okay, just wondering if you wanted to take the first boarding?"

She nodded eagerly but on the inside she felt like she had just stepped on to a stage naked.

"Yeah, sounds good, anything we should look out for?"

"Just the usual, illegal catches, there's just been an influx over the past week."

2Dads placed himself at the EOD noticing several contacts.

"Yeah, there's a couple on here not showing any signals, and no info on AIS."

"Right, X, Dutchy, 2Dads and Charge, you go..."

They all gave him a nod and headed to the armory to gather their equipment. Kate ran to her cabin and tore off the wire, she shoved it into a drawer and was startled as Dutchy appeared in her doorway.

"X? You right?"

She kicked the drawer shut and straightened her shirt.

"Yeah, all good…"

Kate was the first to board the RHIB, Dutchy sat behind her and let out a chuckle, he peeled a piece of tape off the side of her top. She flinched feeling his hand near her body.

"What are you doing?"

He shook the piece of tape in front of her face.

"This was stuck to you…"

She frowned and flicked it out of his hand, she turned back to face the front, he tapped her on the shoulder.

"You nervous?"

Kate shook her head and smirked as the RHIB was lowered into the water.

"Nah, catching the bad guys is my favourite part..."

They sped towards the FFV, Kate leapt aboard and scoured the deck for the captain.

"Australian Navy, who is the Captain?

The 2 sailors on deck looked at each other, then back to Kate.

"I am Lieutenant McGregor from the Australian Navy, I need to speak to your Captain."

A dirty, scraggly, yet handsome looking man made his way out from the cabin, Dutchy raised his weapon as a caution.

"X!"

Kate's head spun towards the man, she was about to say something but flinched ever so slightly seeing his face. Dutchy noticed her reaction and frowned, he watched as her pupils widened as he approached.

"Ah, I'm the Captain, what seems to be the problem?"

"I'm Lieutenant McGregor from HMAS Hammersley, have you got some ID on you, sir?"

Kate lowered her weapon, as the man took out his wallet and ID.

"I'm Warren, here..."

Dutchy took the documents from him, Kate snatched the ID from Dylan and scanned the photo and name.

"Right…"

Dutchy peered over Kate's shoulder to check the ID, she wasn't impressed he was standing so close and cleared her throat, she shoved the ID into his chest and walked away. Dutchy glanced down to the ID and then back at Warren, Warren let out a scoff and grabbed his wallet.

"Are we okay here?"

Kate circled back running her hand over the equipment.

"Ah, you're not displaying a signal, Sir."

"Oh, yeah sorry, look I'll admit it, I'm an amateur, not really sure what I'm doing."

Dutchy rolled his eyes and tapped Charge on the shoulder.

"Charge, go give him the rundown."

Charge and Warren headed for the wheelhouse, Dutchy and Kate searched the upper deck. Dutchy shuffled towards Kate while keeping an eye on Warren in the wheelhouse, he stood close and whispered.

"I think he's sus, X."

Kate ignored his accusation and continued to search.

"I think he's just a rookie a bit out of his depth..."

"Just a hunch..."

"Well, we can't seize a boat on a hunch, Dutchy..."

Kate pursed her lips together trying to hold her tongue and continued to search the deck.

"Yeah, I know but, never mind, let's just make sure we search it properly."

They had completed the search with nothing out of the ordinary found, Charge and Warren exited the wheelhouse.

"All good, X, a crash course in all the buttons."

Warren placed his hand in front of him to shake Kate's hand.

"Yeah, sorry about that, Lieutenant, will try to remember next time..."

Kate glanced over to Dutchy then back to Warren and shook his hand.

"Yeah, well, hopefully we won't see you too soon."

They boarded the RHIB, Dutchy sat at the back and eyeballed Warren as they headed back to the Hammersley.

Kate made he way up to the bridge, Mike smiled as she walked up the stairs.

"How d'you go?"

"Ah, just a newbie, waste of time."

Mike looked over to Dutchy noticing his sullen expression.

"Dutchy? You got something to say?"

Kate glanced over him and raised an eyebrow as a warning, his eyes darted from her to Mike, he didn't want to undermine Kate, but he couldn't help his gut feeling.

"They just seemed dodgy..."

Kate stepped in front of him trying to assert her authority.

"And I told Dutchy that we can't arrest people on a feeling, we searched to boat, not evidence of anything dodgy, Sir."

Mike didn't want Dutchy to think he was taking sides, but if there was no evidence he couldn't act.

"Right, well, we can just keep an eye on them, are they displaying their signal now?"

RO sat at the EOD and nodded.

"Yeah, I'll note it down."

"Good, thanks RO. So, we good?"

Kate and Dutchy both stood there silent, they glanced over at each other headed the down stairs. Mike looked over to Swain and Charge who looked concerned.

"Don't even..."

Swain laughed and held his hands up in surrender.

"Wasn't going to say a thing..."

Kate and Dutchy walked down the hallway in each other's way. Dutchy stopped and let Kate take the lead, she stepped in front of him and turned to face him.

"Do you undermine all your superiors? Or just female ones?"

Dutchy wrinkled his face at her accusation.

"Excuse me? I do not have a problem with female officers."

"Why can't you just drop it?"

"Why can't you see my point?"

They stood there locked in each other's stare, Dutchy was the first cave, he had to walk away before he got himself into trouble.

Later that day the Hammersley returned to port on schedule. Kate sat in her cabin completing her paperwork, Mike knocked on her door.

"X?"

"Boss..."

"Ah, did you and Dutchy sort things out?"

She sat there for a moment contemplating her answer, it was a definite no but she didn't want to case more issues. Mike assumed from her silence that they hadn't.

"Ah, so, that's a no then?"

She slammed her laptop shut and stood from the desk.

"Why can't he let it go?"

"I'm not sure why you're getting so upset about a difference of opinion..."

She clenched her jaw holding in her opinion and went with the easiest response.

"Never mind, we'll sort it out."

She packed up the files and computer and left the ship.

She sat in her car and clenched her hands over the steering wheel, her phone beeped, it was a message from NAVCOM.

Kate knocked on Maxine's door and waited for her to respond, she heard her call out and straightened herself and walked into the office.

"You wanted to see me, Commander?"

"Yes, Lieutenant, sit, please."

Kate did as she was told, she sat and fidgeted nervously wondering what she had done wrong to be summoned to Maxine's office.

"So, how was your first day?"

Kate took a moment to register that she wasn't in trouble.

"Ah, fine, Ma'am..."

Maxine smiled tilting her head slightly.

"Just fine?"

Kate shrugged wondering what kind of response she was expecting.

"It was just routine, the usual, I guess."

Maxine nodded a long and leaned in closer.

"Right, and the crew? How are they?"

Kate realised Maxine was just warming up to the point of the meeting, she wondered if Mike had mentioned the tension.

"They're fine too, Ma'am?"

"Fine?"

Kate nodded cautiously.

"I'm sorry, Ma'am, I feel like you're not happy with my answers?"

"It's not that Kate, I just want you to know we can talk, you know, I know how it is being a woman in a male dominated workplace."

Kate was completely confused, this isn't where she thought the conversation was heading.

"With all due respect, Ma'am, I haven't found it an issue so unfortunately I can not relate."

"Right, well I guess that's good. I just wanted to let you know I'm here to chat if you need."

She gave Maxine a single nod and rise from the chair.

"Is that all Ma'am?"

"Yes, that's all..."

Kate closed the office door and scrunched up her face.

"Weird."

She sat at home staring at Dutchy's file, reading it over and over, somehow thinking it would make her feel less angry toward him, but it didn't. There was a knock on the door, she got up and looked through the peephole and sighed and opened the door.

"Boss..."

He barged past her and into the house.

"You're not listening to me Kate..."

She shut the door and followed him into her house.

"What?"

"Don't play innocent with me..."

He slammed the wire and recording equipment on the table.

"Forget something?"

Kate cursed in her mind, she looked up to him and frowned.

"Hang on, how did you know where it was?"

"Well, you said it yourself, can't wear the wire at sea, so we've bugged the ship."

Kate's mouth dropped.

"What?! They let you do that?"

He smiled satisfied and crossed arms over his chest.

"We can do anything we like… anyway, one of the guys found it when they were installing the bugs."

"Boss, you can't be serious…"

"Why not?"

"Boss, I'm not comfortable with…"

He interrupted her, he was sick of her excuses.

"You know what I'm not comfortable with, Kate? Dodgy officers."

"What? And you think I am?"

He rolled his eyes, of course he didn't but she was getting on his nerves, he changed the subject.

"So, Mike, he's a bit different isn't he?"

She glanced at him out the corner of her eye, she pretended not to know what he was implying and rolled eyes and walked into the kitchen.

"Ah, I have no idea what you mean?"

Shaun followed knowing she knew exactly what he was talking about.

"Well, he's pretty concerned about you…"

She flung open the fridge and stuck her head in trying to avoid eye contact.

"Meaning?"

"Do you think he'd break the rules…"

Kate grabbed the bottle of wine from the shelf and slammed the door shut.

"Don't make this more complicated, he's just a nice guy that's all…"

"Really? 2 birds with one stone…"

Kate shook her head as she poured herself a glass, Shaun could see she wasn't going for it.

"Okay, well, anyway, you're the one making it hard for everyone, and I'm not sure why. You need to stop acting like a…"

She swallowed her mouthful and pursed her lips together.

"Go on, say it."

Shaun raised an eye brown and scoffed, she knew how to push his buttons.

"A bitch, okay, I said it, but tell me how being one is going to help?"

She swallowed the rest of the glass and poured another.

"I know, but he just, I dunno, he rubs me the wrong way. Plus this whole base is just weird, Commander White just called me into talk, she wanted to make sure I was settling in okay..."

"Well, that's nice, isn't it?"

"Yeah but, this feels so Brady bunch, navy edition, I don't like it."

"Well, this is your job, Kate, adapt, you have to."

Shaun watched her face twitch, he knew she was pondering it all, he shook his head, her stubbornness was starting to annoy him.

"Kate, it's not a suggestion, it's an order."

He walked to the door and opened it, he looked her up and down.

"You have an expense account, go buy yourself something pretty, maybe it will help. He might see you as more of a person, rather than a boss and open up. Plus, you know what they say, men are visual creatures..."

Kate shuddered at the thought and slammed the door, she stood there arms folded, jaw clenched. She stomped into her room and she flung open the wardrobe doors, she violently shifted the coat hangers from one side to the other.

"What does he know, I have nice clothes..."

Taking a step back from the wardrobe her eyes scanned the hangers, pantsuit, jeans, shirt, pantsuit, t-shirt. She let out a growl, she hated it when Shaun was right. She stomped out into the kitchen and snatched her bag off the counter and opened her purse, she slid the credit card out of the slot and grinned.

"Okay, something pretty it is..."

End of Chapter 3.

Please review! xx


	4. Chapter 4

Promise To Love Me, Even When You Hate Me.

Chapter 4.

Kate walked down the main shopping strip of Cairns, she peered in multiple windows becoming more defeated by the minute, nothing appealed to her. Placing herself on the nearest bench she rubbed her hands over her face, it was giving her a headache. Maybe this was a dumb idea, how was a new out fit going to help? She needed to be a completely different person, not the control freak, workaholic that she was. She glanced up feeling like she was being watched, she laughed as she spotted the manikin in the window. Her brow creased, it's eyes were focused on her, like it was judging her. She shook her head at herself, she needed a different approach, she got up and chose the shop she liked the look of least.

Walking in she let out a groan, the sales girl at the counter couldn't have been more than 19. She looked up at Kate and smiled politely then looked back down at her phone. Kate took a lap of the store, it was hopeless, she had no idea where to start, she forced a smile and approached the counter.

"Hi, I'm in desperate need of a new wardrobe, can you please give me a hand?"

The girls eyes lit up and she shoved her phone into her pocket.

"Well, you've come to the right place, I'm Taylor, and I'd be happy to help..."

She stepped out from behind the counter and looked Kate up and down, she motioned for her to spin. Kate grit her teeth and obliged, Taylor's grin grew as she nodded.

"So, umm that uniform, you're in the Navy?"

Kate nodded feeling more and more uncomfortable, Taylor sinched in the sides of Kate's shirt.

"Hmm, okay, lets do this…"

Kate stood in the change room feeling way out of her depth, the hooks we're filled with brightly coloured dresses, something she usually wouldn't be caught dead in. She changed into the first one and stood in front of the mirror and tilted her head, she was surprised, it looked good, better than she thought. Taylor poked her head through the curtain.

"Everything okay in there?"

Kate turned concerned about what she was going to think.

"Ah, yeah…"

Taylor let out a shriek and flung back the curtain with excitement.

"Hey, I knew there was a figure underneath that, umm…"

She pointed to Kate's uniform on the floor, Kate picked it up and held it up.

"It's called a DPNU…"

Taylor grabbed the shirt from her and scrunched up her face holding it against herself.

"Yeah, you'd think they could put some darts in it or something, you know, make it look a bit nicer."

Kate tried not to let her disdain read all over her face, she faked a smile.

"Yeah, well, I think it's built for action not attraction …"

Taylor walked off and shuffled through the racks and called out.

"So, do you get much time to relax?"

Kate closed the curtain pretending she didn't hear her, she was about to undress when Taylor flung it back open.

"I bet you get it explore all sorts of cool places, like uninhabited islands and stuff?

"Ah, yeah, sometimes…"

Taylor looked her up and down again.

"I thought you'd be more tanned, do you need some bathers too?"

Taylor shoved a bunch of fluorescent bikinis in her face.

"Cos these would look totes cute on you!"

Kate shook her head and waved her hands dismissing the frilly monstrosities that she was calling swimwear.

"Ah, I'm more of a one piece person, or you know, a wetsuit…"

Taylor held the bikinis in Kate's face and pursed her lips together.

"No, look at your tiny waist, no way, you gotta show that off! How about you take one of these and I'll give you a discount off a one piece, okay?"

Kate rolled her eyes and took them from her hands, she had been right about all the other clothes and the Navy was paying, so why not?

A few hours later Kate walked into her house with multiple shopping bags, her phone beeped, it was a message from Shaun.

"$1000 on clothes? You'd better get results, don't forget the wire! Xx."

Kate stood in front of her mirror in bandeau dress and frowned.

"I can't wear the wire with this…"

She rummaged though the bags and took out a flowy mini dress and held it up, she sighed and rolled her eyes.

She strolled into the pub feeling good, she had put on some makeup and styled her hair t complete the "New Kate" look. Her eyes scanned the room looking for the crew, there was no sign of them. She was relieved, yet annoyed, she didn't really want to socialise, but she wanted to prove to Shaun that she could adapt. She looked again, double checking there was no one she knew, she shrugged and went to leave but ran in to someone. Looking up she was about to apologise and realised it was Dutchy, he hadn't registered it was her and was about to walk off. She put on her best friendly smile.

"Hey..."

He was stunned for a moment, looking her up and down, he had so many questions.

"Ah, X, what are you doing here?"

"Ah, umm, thought I'd come check the place out."

"Oh, cool, well, ah, I actually just came to get some takeaways, everyone is busy tonight, well, except me."

"Oh, that's okay, another night."

She pretended to sound disappointed.

"But, umm..."

He looked her up and down again, it looked like she had gone to a lot of effort, he felt a little awkward checking her out, she was his superior, but he couldn't help it, she looked hot.

"Look, why don't I buy a round, a peace offering?"

The offer confused Kate, he had stood his ground all day and now he was apologising?

"You wanna have a drink? With me?"

He nodded, she turned and headed towards the bar, Dutchy walked a few steps behind her. He found his gaze being drawn to her, he couldn't take his eyes off her, he couldn't believe how different she looked.

"We wouldn't wanna waste the outfit."

She stopped and spun round with her hands on her hips.

"Watch it, Petty Officer, else you'll be apologising for more than your attitude on the boarding."

She winced a little knowing that it would have come off bitchy, she took a deep breath in and tried to channel "Friendly Kate". Dutchy could see that she was trying to make an effort, but he wasn't going to let her off that easy.

"I'm not apologising, I'm being the bigger person."

"Oh, really..."

"Okay, no ship talk. Let's just try to have a normal conversation, huh?"

She groaned internally but nodded, she walked over to a free table as Dutchy headed to the bar. He watched as she pulled on the hem of her dress, he laughed seeing her uncomfortable, it was refreshing seeing her not so put together. She perched herself on a stool and Dutchy bought over a beer and a glass of white.

"Ah, took a stab in the dark, Sav Blanc?"

She smiled politely and took the glass from him, he took a sip of his beer and he sat down.

"So, what made you come out tonight?"

She took a sip of her drink while trying to think of a response. She knew that 'My boss told me too', was not going to go down well.

"I dunno, thought I should get out and about."

She wiggled on the seat, conscious that the dress barely covered her behind, Dutchy couldn't help but smirk at her awkwardness.

"And, the outfit? Is it new?"

Kate swallowed half of her glass and placed it back on the table. The usual her would have said something like, are you the fashion police now? Or what's it to you? But she had to make an effort, because, more than anything she hated failing a mission.

"Why, what do you mean?"

"Ah, nothing bad, I mean you look hot, but umm, not comfortable?"

Kate could feel her cheeks burn, she was going to ignore the fact that her Buffer just called her hot.

"Yeah, I went shopping this arvo, trusted the sales girl who's like 10 years younger than me!"

"Well, why don't I get those takeaways and we can go back to yours and you can get changed into something more comfortable?"

She glanced at him over the top of her glass holding in her smirk, he broke eye contact realising how that would have sounded.

"Ah, you know what I mean."

She swallowed the rest of her glass and nodded. Her desire to get out of the clothes out weighed the nervousness that she felt about letting him into her house.

They arrived at her house and Kate ran into her room and changed as fast as she could, she walked back out into the lounge wearing trackies and a t-shirt.

Dutchy had made himself comfortable on her couch, he handed her a glass of wine and smirked.

"So there's no in between? It's either formal or trackies? "

Kate responded without thinking.

"Is that a problem?"

She took the glass from him and sat on the other end of the couch, a silence came over the conversation. Kate sipped on her wine glanced over to him periodically, she suddenly felt awkward having him in her house. Dutchy sighed and placed his beer on the table, Kate glanced at the bottle covered in condensation and slid him a coaster, he let out a laugh and placed it under the beer.

"So umm, do you wanna finish your story?"

"Story?"

He broke eye contact unsure whether she remembered what she was going to tell him on the boat earlier.

"You were, umm, on the ship it felt like you were, ah, about to show me something?"

He sheepishly glanced in her direction trying to get a feel of her mood, she picked up her glass and took a large mouthful, _open up, Kate, you need him to trust you, do your job_. Placing the glass back on the table she flicked her hair behind her shoulder and pulled down the collar of her t-shirt. Dutchy leaned in close, he couldn't help but gasp as he saw the large scar under her collarbone. Kate closed her eyes trying to hold back the tears, forgetting their awkward relationship he reached out and gently ran his finger over the scar. She flinched and opened her eyes at his touch, Dutchy withdrew his hand and was immediately embarrassed.

"Kate, I'm sorry."

She played with her t-shirt making sure it was covered again.

"Who did that to you?"

Dutchy winced he didn't mean for the question to come out so eagerly.

Kate focused on the floor thinking of that day, a few stray tears escaped her eyes. She inhaled sharply as she wiped away the tears, she looked over to Dutchy who's eyes were locked on to her.

"My ex."

Dutchy froze, he needed to know the story but didn't want to make her feel more uncomfortable.

"I'm sorry Kate, if you don't want to talk about it..."

She shook her head picked up her glass, Dutchy held his breath in anticipation.

"It's okay, umm, he used me, he thought he could get some kind of information cos I was in the navy. We caught his friends one day, and I came home to confront him and we had an argument, turns out he had stashed drugs at my house, I don't remember much, but he attacked me, my boss found me in a pool of blood and..."

Dutchy exhaled, he couldn't believe what he was hearing, but he now understood why she wasn't an open or trusting person. He reached out and placed a hand on hers causing her to flinch.

"I'm sorry..."

Kate scoffed and took another drink.

"Why?"

"I mean, I'm sorry that happened to you, that's really messed up…"

She shifted uncomfortably in her seat, Dutchy sat there not knowing what to say, he looked back towards her scar and frowned, he reached over and peeled a piece of tape off her t-shirt.

"What is with you and this tape?"

Kate suddenly felt exposed, way out of her comfort zone, she became agitated. She wasn't used to opening up to people, little own people she wasn't supposed to trust, it was too much, too fast.

"Umm, actually, Dutchy, I'm pretty tired, sorry, I'm gonna have to call it a night…"

She rose from the couch and walked towards the door, Dutchy didn't understand why suddenly she was touchy.

"Yeah, okay, umm, is something the matter? You seem…"

She couldn't help it, "Bitch Kate" took over, she spun round, her brow creased, waiting for his answer.

"Seem? What?"

Dylan's eyes darted around the room, he didn't know what he had done to piss her off.

"I dunno, annoyed at me?"

"Yeah, you brought up the one thing I don't like talking bout."

He stood up and shook his head.

"Hang on, you're the one that brought it up on the ship, I thought we were actually bonding."

She crossed her arms over her chest feeling cornered.

"Yeah, well, bonding over my dark past isn't exactly what I want my friendships to be based on."

Dutchy shook his head completely mystified about how the conversation had progressed.

"Yeah, okay…"

Kate clenched her jaw knowing she should probably apologise for her outburst but she couldn't.

"Look, it's been a huge week..."

Dutchy knew there was more to it, but he didn't have the strength to continue right now.

"Okay, well, I'll go then..."

He walked out of her house shaking his head.

Kate paced the lounge room, she didn't know why she was so irrational around him, she picked up her glass of wine and sculled it. She let out a grunt, wine wasn't going to cut it, she needed something stronger to get the bad taste out of her mouth.

She had purposely picked a pub that was out of Cairns, she needed a break from Kate McGregor, and she couldn't do that at the local.

She had put back on the new dress, it was the only thing she had to wear that didn't feel like work clothes. She sat at the outside bar and ordered a Whiskey on the rocks. She closed her eyes for a moment trying to get herself out of work mode she didn't hear her boss approach her from behind.

"Kate?"

She didn't register her name, he tapped her on the shoulder, she turned, annoyed that someone was disturbing her.

"Kate, it is you..."

She nearly dropped her glass realising it was Shaun standing in front of her.

"Shaun, you scared me."

He looked her up and down and nodded with approval.

"Money well spent…"

She scoffed and swallowed her glass.

"What are doing here?"

"Well, I wouldn't have to follow you if we thought that you were managing."

"Don't tell me you've bugged my place too?"

"Your mic was left on, anyway, that story about the stabbing where did it come from? He seemed to really respond to it?"

She shrugged crunching on a piece of ice, he sat down next to her a little concerned about her casual attitude.

"Just be careful, too many stories makes it difficult."

She let out a groan feeling like she couldn't win.

"Boss, my whole existence is a lie, I can juggle a few stories."

"But then you went and did your block again!"

She attempted to get the attention of a waiter, if she was going to be lectured she needed another drink. Shaun waved his hand in front of her face wanting her full attention.

"What's the problem, Kate? you've always been able to focus."

She sighed and dropped her head, she didn't know why she couldn't play the game like she always did.

"I dunno, like I said, these guys are different, I mean, normally there's a clear cut bad guy, a total jerk, but, he seems… different?"

Shaun grabbed her arm frustrated seeing her like this, she needed to get her head in the game.

"Kate, there's your first mistake, you know you can't see him as a person, he's a target. There must be something we can do to help?"

Kate frowned at the use of the term 'we'.

"Well, for starters, tell Warren no more surprise appearances on FFV's, I don't think anyone noticed, but you need to warn me if you're going to be out there."

"Yeah, fair enough, I think he's just worried about you."

She snatched her arm away from his grip.

"Yeah, well, you can tell him he doesn't need to worry about me…"

"Tell him yourself, Kate, I thought you two were over this?"

"I am, I don't think he is, this is why I offered to take this job out here, but he followed, can't you see he's the one that you should be talking to…"

Shaun held his hands up in surrender, he didn't need her to be more agitated than she already was.

"Yeah, okay, okay, look, you two are my best team, I need you to work it out…"

"Yeah, yeah, I know, and you did warn me, so, I guess you can say I told you so…"

"Kate, it's not about that, you just need to get this done, ignore Warren if you have to, but it would be easier if you all got along. Just talk to him, you're supposed to be a team."

Kate nodded and plonked her glass in front of him.

"I think it's your round…"

Shaun smirked, it wasn't a secret that Kate was his favourite and she was the only one who could get away with giving him attitude. He stood shaking his head and playfully shoved her on the shoulder.

"Pushy bitch…"

He picked up her glass, she smiled satisfied.

"Oh, and, Shaun…"

He stopped and turned back to face her, she smiled a sweet smile.

"The good stuff…"

He rolled her eyes and shook his head and headed for the bar.

The next morning Kate arranged to meet Warren for breakfast to discuss their working relationship.

"CupKate, how are you?"

She grit her teeth and smiled.

"Please don't call me that…"

"Aww, why not? It was always my favourite nickname for you…"

He sat in the seat next to her, it was too close and she shuffled her chair away from him.

"Look, I asked you here to talk about work."

"Okay, but we can eat while we talk right?"

Dutchy was on his morning run and spotted Kate at the cafe, he was about to call when he spotted the familiar looking guy next to her. He sat on the bench and pretended to tie his shoe, he was out of earshot but he could tell from her body language that Kate was uncomfortable.

"So, what's on your mind CupKate?"

"We've got a job to do, right?"

He nodded smiling at her.

"And work and personal can't mix…"

He rolled his eyes placing his hand on hers.

"You were always so good at following the rules, well, until you met me."

She smiled and picked his hand up and placed it back on the table.

"Yes, but I now realise why there are rules. Just let me do my job, you're here to help."

"Yeah, exactly."

He placed his hand back on hers, she shook her head and shifted to the other side of the table.

"But appearing on a FFV with no warning isn't help."

He frowned and crossed his arms over his chest as he leaned back on the chair.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you…"

She leaned forward and lowered her voice.

"You didn't scare me, Warren, you pissed me off! You could have blown my cover."

"Well, if you're any good at your job you wouldn't have flinched."

Kate scoffed and jumped to her feat, she wasn't going to be lectured by him.

"Just don't get in my way…"

He jumped up after her and forcefully pulled her back, Dutchy had witnessed everything, he didn't want to get involved but he wasn't going to stand by and let someone man handle her. He stormed up to them as Kate snatched her arm back.

"Kate?"

She jumped at Dutchy's presence.

"What are you doing here?"

"Ah, I was just walking by and saw him grab you…"

Warren scowled in his direction and gave him a bit of a shove.

"And who are you?"

Dutchy glanced over to Kate and then back to Warren.

"I'm work mates with Kate, who are you?'

Dutchy eyeballed him and titled his head.

"Have we met, you look familiar?"

Warren adjusted his sunglasses and placed a cap on his head and walked off, Kate walked in the opposite direction, Dutchy chased after her.

"Kate, what was that?"

She didn't stop, she didn't need him to defend her.

"Nothing, Dutchy, none of your business…"

"Kate, what is going on? Something is going on!"

She kept walking hoping he would get the hit and drop it.

"Nothing is going on, Dutchy!"

She quickened her steps and got into her car leaving Dutchy standing in the car park none the wiser.

Kate arrived home to find Warren on her doorstep, she let out a huff and slammed the car door.

"What are you doing here?"

She walked past him ignoring his presence, she opened her front door and tried to shut him out, he pushed past her shaking his head.

"He's trouble Kate…"

She closed the door and followed him into the lounge, he stepped towards her.

"Why is he all protective over you? He stormed up to me like a boyfriend today."

"Yeah, well, he's my Buffer, he's supposed to have my back, and you didn't have to grab me so hard."

She rubbed her arm, he placed his hand on top of hers.

"I'm sorry, I worry about you, CupKate…"

She stepped back out of his reach shaking her head, how could she make it any clearer?

"Warren, we're work partners, that's it!"

A dark expression came over his face.

"Do you have feelings for him or something?"

She wrinkled her face, he was being ridiculous.

"What are you talking about?"

"Well, from what I hear you're refusing to do your job."

"What? I'm not refusing, he's just, he different…"

"Different? Sure, different in the fact that he's good looking?"

Kate didn't have the strength to argue with him, she opened the door.

"Just get out and let me do my job."

He started at her for a moment and to her surprise he left without saying another word.

Stomping around her living room she muttered to herself, she hated that Warren got to her. She wondered if she indulged him because she felt guilty. She knew that he had always liked her but deep down she knew she was using him as a band-aid.

She needed to focus, she wasn't getting the information she needed. She flopped back on the couch and leaned her head on the side. A few minutes later she bolted up right having a light bulb moment, she nodded her head as a mischievous grin covered her face.

"Thank you, Warren…"

End of Chapter 4.


	5. Chapter 5

Promise to Love Me, Even When You Hate Me.

Chapter 5.

Kate knocked on Shaun's hotel room door, he opened the door and she barged her way in. Shaun closed the door and wrinkled his face surprised by her presence.

"Ah, come in why don't you..."

She paced the room itching to get her idea out, he sat himself on the couch and smirked while watching her pace.

"What's up?"

She stopped in front of him, her eyes wide, full of excitement for her idea.

"What if I dated him?"

The smile dropped of Shaun's face, he hesitated for a moment wondering if he had heard her right.

"What?"

She sat next to him hoping he'd hear her out.

"Well, Warren seems to think he's a little keen on me, so why not use that to our advantage?"

It was Shaun's turn to pace, he rose from the couch shaking his head.

"I dunno, Kate, it's risky, plus you said you didn't even feel you could have a genuine conversation with him, how are you going to…"

She stood from the couch and waved her hand dismissing his concern.

"Yeah, look, you were right when you said my way wasn't working, and dating him will allow me to get closer, closer than just being his friend. It'll be this whole, enemies to friends to lovers thing, you know what all those BS rom-com movies are based on."

Shaun raised an eyebrow completely lost, Kate rolled her eyes and paced again.

"Okay, so, I'll unfreeze, we'll become friends, and he'll think that I'm opening up to him, that we're bonding. Then the friendship will blossom into flirting and then, well, it's perfect! For some reason the more I resist, the more he wants to get to know me!"

"Ah, right, is that why made up that story about your ex stabbing you? To appeal to his protective side?"

Kate froze and ran her hand over her scar, she was thrown for a moment, Shaun frowned noticing her strange reaction.

"Kate?"

She snapped back to reality and placed the smile back on her face.

"Yeah, totally…"

"But I mean, you'd have to be a sociopath not to feel bad about someone stabbing you."

Kate nodded, they both sat back on the couch. Shaun's brown creased as he thought about her plan for a moment, he crossed his arms over his chest and raised an eyebrow.

"This wouldn't have anything to do with pay back would it?"

Kate broke eye contact pretending not to know what he was talking about.

"Payback?"

Shaun sat there waiting for her to tell the truth, she let out a sigh and leaned back on to the couch.

"Not gonna lie, it has its perks, but he was the one who gave me the idea."

"Kate, I'm not sure that I like this plan."

She got up off the couch and headed for the door, she turned back and smirked at him as she opened it.

"I never said you were gonna like it."

He shook his head at her cockiness.

"Kate…"

She had made her decision, she kept walking and left the room.

Later that night Dutchy headed to the local to catch up with the crew, he grabbed himself a beer and spotted 2Dads and Charge in the corner.

"Is this all we've got tonight?"

Charge nodded and took a sip of his beer.

"Yeah, everyone else has a life, apparently…"

Dutchy slid into the stool next to Charge.

"So, what we talking about?"

Changed glanced at 2Dads wondering whether they should tell the truth.

"Ah, the X…"

Dutchy pretended not to be interested and took a mouthful of his beer, 2Dads nudged him nearly spilling it.

"What do you think Dutch? Don't you think she's a little, I dunno, I don't think she's going to fit in, have you spoken to her outside of work?"

He didn't know how to respond, he didn't want to gossip about her since he had discovered the reason why she wasn't so wasn't so friendly.

"Ah, not really, but would be pretty tough being the only woman on the boat, I guess we don't see things the same way and feel things the same way."

2Dads and Charge exchanged another uncertain glance, wondering why it sounded like he was defending her. Dutchy noticed their confused looks and tried to cover his tracks.

"I mean, must be tough, I think she's not the type to have girl friends, I dunno, just a feeling."

Change took another mouthful of beer and laughed as he slapped him on the back.

"So what are you saying? You're gonna become her BFF?"

Dutchy scoffed.

"No, but there's something about her that just bothers me…"

"Bothers you?"

"I dunno, maybe it's because I can't figure her out."

Charge smirked and playfully shoved him.

"Yeah she's a bit more complicated than the girls you normally hang out with mate…"

Dutchy scrunched up his face mildly offended and shoved him back.

"Hey, bugger off…"

"So, how are you going to figure it out?"

Dutchy shrugged taking another sip of his beer.

"I dunno, but I'm going to, we gotta work together and I'm not going to walk around on eggshells for however long she's here…"

He sculled the rest of his beer and stood from the table, 2Dads pulled on his arm

"You going already?"

"Yeah, I'll see you guys later…"

Later that night Kate sat at dinning room table, paperwork scattered everywhere, there was a knock on her door.

"Who is it?"

"Food delivery!"

She jumped up from the table and ran to the door, she was staring, as she swung open the door the smile dropped off her face, it was Dutchy holding the UberEats bag.

"Seriously?"

"We rocked up at the same time..."

He went to walk into the house but she stood in his way and held out her hand.

"Well, hand it over..."

Dutchy pulled the bag away from her.

"If you let me in..."

She let out a huff, she was starving and the food was getting cold.

"Just hold on..."

She shut the door and ran back to the table and gathered up the paperwork and shoved it into the drawer, she re opened the door looking a little flustered.

"I guess you can come in if you're holding my food hostage."

She opened the door wider and reluctantly let him in.

"So, what was that all about? Needed to put on some perfume?"

Kate rolled her eyes as he walked past her, she closed the door and crossed her arms over her chest.

"What are you doing here, Dutchy?"

He placed the food on the table and started to unpack it.

"I just, I don't understand why we can't get along?"

Kate already had her defenses up, she was expecting a fight, not for him to want to talk rationally.

"Oh, well, I dunno, what, are we in kindergarten?! But if you had just not questioned my…"

Dutchy exhaled loudly, he knew she wasn't over their disagreement on the FFV.

"Not this again, Kate, you need to take others opinions on board, I feel like you just shut me down the other day."

"Yeah, because there was nothing sus..."

"But you wouldn't even hear me out..."

The stood there in a stand still, Kate was the first to break the silence.

"Why are you so desperate to be my friend?"

"Well, wouldn't it be easier?"

He handed her a plate, she looked down at it and snatched it off of him.

"Why?"

"C'mon Kate, I don't know you very well, but I'm pretty sure if you just let go for a second we could be pretty good friends."

There was another knock at the door, Kate ignored his comment and walked to the door. She looked thought the peephole, her eyes widened seeing the visitor, she turned back to Dutchy and smiled nervously.

"Just excuse me a minute..."

Dutchy nodded and sat down at the table. Kate slid out the door and closed it, she pulled Warren away from the door.

"Warren, what are you doing here?"

"Shaun rang me..."

She let out a huff and crossed her arms over her chest.

"And?"

"You're going to date him?"

"You're the one that gave me the idea."

"Kate, it's too much..."

She was getting agitated, she knew the real reason for his so called concern. She raised her voice a little trying to get him to back off.

"Just admit it, you're jealous!"

He stepped closer proving he wasn't intimidated by her.

"So you're prepared too kiss him?"

She shrugged pretending the thought didn't terrify her.

"It's all part of the act right?"

"Really? What if he wants to..."

Kate was secretly enjoying this, she raised an eyebrow and played dumb.

"Wants to what?"

Warren knew she was playing games, he grabbed her by the shoulders.

"Kate, this is serious, you'd really sleep with him?"

Kate hesitated, she hadn't thought about it going that far, but she wasn't going to give Warren the satisfaction of bursting her bubble. She shrugged off his grip and stepped towards the door.

"Hey, I've done worse for less..."

She went to walk back into the house, he grabbed her arm, she spun back around the smile dropped off her face.

"Seriously?"

She snatched back her arm, he shoved a folder in her hand.

"Just remember who the bad guy is, I've brought an updated file to remind you!"

Dutchy heard raised voices and became concerned, he walked up to the door and looked out the peephole. He squinted trying to make out the figures in the dark, he pressed his eye closer to the door trying to get a good look at the person standing with Kate, he looked familiar.

Kate turned and looked towards the door feeling like she was being watched, Dylan sprinted back to the table and sat as she re entered the house, he looked up at her innocently with a mouthful of food.

"Everything okay?"

She refused to meet his eyes and sat at the table.

"Kate?"

"Ah, yeah, just a bloody door to door person, you know how pushy they are!"

He glanced at the folder in her hand.

"What's that?"

"Oh, I said I'd look at the stupid catalogue to get them to go away."

She shoved onto a chair under the table. Dutchy couldn't help but feel she was hiding something, but he didn't want to start another argument.

"Oh, well next time send me out! I think I can scare them a little."

Kate smiled halfheartedly and picked up her fork, Dutchy cleared his throat

"So, umm truce?"

She shrugged as she opened one of the packages.

"We'll See..."

Kate's phone rang interrupting them, she glanced down at the caller, it was Warren, she pressed ignore. Dutchy glanced at the phone.

"Oh, don't not answer it on my account..."

"It's fine..."

It rang again, this time it was Shaun.

"Seriously, Kate, it's fine..."

She let out a huff and picked up her phone.

"Hello, oh, hi Dad, yeah, everything's fine, actually I've got some company, so, I'll talk to you later…"

She placed the phone back on the table, Dutchy smirked.

"You're a popular girl then…"

"Yeah, not really…"

Kate shoved more food into her mouth hoping he'd drop it, her phone beeped, she picked it up and groaned reading the message from Shaun.

"I thought you were going to be nice…"

She quickly replied.

"The meaner I am the more he tries, just let me do this, I can't just be his friend straight away!"

She put her phone back on the table and smiled nervously.

"Is everything okay?"

"Yeah, just leave it…"

Dutchy rolled his eyes.

"Why do you do that?"

"What?"

"One minute you're fine and the next you're cold again, I just don't get it..."

"Why do you have to get me?"

Dutchy held his glare for a moment.

"Whatever... just eat the food..."

Kate let out a grunt, she knew that her inconsistent behaviour was going to make her job hard, she had to swallow her pride and play nice.

"Okay, tell me about yourself then…"

Dutchy put down his fork wondering if it was a trap, Kate could see his hesitation, it was written all over his face.

"I'm serious…I guess If I'm going to be with you guys for well, what, months? I should know what I'm getting myself into, right?"

He let out a scoff and took another mouthful.

"Why is it like that though? Why can't we just be people you want to get to know?"

The rest of the meal was silent, Dutchy got up and placed his plate in the sink, he looked out the window and spotted someone sitting in a car out the front of Kate's house.

He dropped the plate and sprinted out the front, Kate was completely baffled by his behaviour and rose from the table and called out after him.

"Dutchy! What are you doing?"

Dutchy bolted toward the ca,r but it sped off just as he got to the passengers side. He stood there for a moment, the guy looked so familiar, he turned and walked back up the front path deep in thought.

Kate stood at the front door shaking her head.

"What are you doing?"

He stood in front of her ignoring her question.

"Who was that?"

"Who?"

"They guy who knocked on the door earlier, that was him in the car."

Kate placed her hands on her hips and frowned.

"Wait, you were spying on me?"

He stood there frowning back at her waiting for an answer, she broke eye contact.

"You're seeing things Dutchy!"

"What is going on Kate? That guy looked a hell of a lot like the guy from the cafe today!"

Kate scoffed and threw her hands in the air and walked back inside, Dutchy stormed in after her.

"You're loosing it, Petty Officer."

He grabbed her arm forcefully and spun her around to face him.

"You can explain it to me or you can explain it too the Boss and Commander White in the morning."

The stood there locked in each others glare, Kate was the first to look away She needed to think fast, she knew he wasn't going to let this go. She walked over to the couch and sat and wrapped her arms round herself.

Dutchy followed sensing it was serious, he sat beside her looking at her for answers. She exhaled and leaned back on the couch, she attempted to explain but nothing came out.

"Kate.."

She caught her breath and closed her eyes trying to calm herself.

"He's part of my exes crew..."

"What? The ex that stabbed you?"

Kate nodded unable to make eye contact with him afraid that he's see right though her.

"They think I'm still in contact with him..."

"Are you?"

The question shocked her a little, she shook her head.

"No, but they drop in occasionally to check, it's okay I'm not in any danger."

Dutchy didn't believe her but he couldn't say it aloud.

"Umm, I think you should tell the boss..."

She grabbed his arm desperate for him to believe her.

"No, Dutchy, no one can know, it's too risky. They have done this before they just check up on me and go."

"Yeah and harass you with phone calls and..."

"Dutchy, I need you to drop it, please."

Dutchy looked down at her white knuckles latched on to his arm, then back up to her face, he could see Kate was serious, she had a slight look of fear in her eyes.

"Okay, but I'm staying here tonight, no arguments."

He grabbed the remote and flicked it to Netflix. Kate couldn't help but smile, her plan was working but it was marred by a slight twinge of guilt . She never had many close friends, little own ones that wanted to protect her, she felt safe, like she mattered.

Half way through the movie Kate began to drift off to sleep. She unconsciously rested her head on Dutchy shoulder, he was about to wake her but hesitated as he saw her peaceful face. He gently moved over and laid her on the couch, he grabbed a blanket and placed it over her.

The next morning she awoke hearing strange noises, she poked her head up from the couch and looked over to the kitchen, Dutchy was at her stove cooking. She rolled off the couch and entered the kitchen yawning.

"Ah, what are you doing!"

He turned and smiled and served her a plate.

"Didn't your mother ever tell you breakfast was the most important meal of the day?"

She looked at him unimpressed but then glanced down at the plate, it looked pretty good. She mumbled something to herself and sat at the kitchen bench.

Dutchy let out a laugh and poured her a cup of coffee, she may be resistant to him but he was going to kill her with kindness, prove to her that they weren't that bad.

"Yeah, thanks."

He sat down next to her and started to eat.

"So, no more messages?"

She shook her head and shoveled more food into her mouth avoiding the subject.

"Why do you care so much?"

"Have you never had friends Kate?"

Kate grit her teeth, she knew she needed to tone herself down and not answering was a better option than a passive aggressive comment.

"Look, I know frigate's aren't exactly build on friendships and fluff but Patrol Boats are different. I know that Mike goes on and on, but we are a family. Kate, the guys on this boat are my mates, I mean, even though we work together we hang out too."

Kate sipped on her coffee, Dutchy thought it best to move on.

"So, what are we doing today?"

"What do you mean?"

"Well, we have a day off and you're new, don't tell me you're not dying to explore this place?"

"Well, yeah I guess…"

"Let me be your guide… show you that we're not that bad!"

"You don't have to do that."

"I want to..."

Kate sat there wondering whether this was a ploy to get her to talk or if he genuinely wanted to spend time with her.

"Ah, I've got organising to do, but thanks."

Dutchy shrugged, he couldn't expect them to be friends over night but he know that deep down she probably needed one.

"No worries, another day then..."

They had finished their breakfast and Kate had made an excuse about housework so he would leave. As she shut the front door her phone rang, she let out a groan seeing the caller.

"Boss..."

"He slept over?"

"Yeah, he saw bloody Warren and..."

"Yeah, I know, I heard everything..."

"Well, he needs to butt out, he's going to ruin everything..."

"Well, you've made him a bit of a target now that you've involved him in this story of yours..."

"Yeah, I know, but now he can't just rock up. Look, I need to commit to this, I don't need outside distractions. Do me a favour, give me a month to do my thing, 2 months tops and I'll have him eating out of my hand. Then I'll have access to things as his girlfriend, things like his computer, phones, you name it."

"Kate, I think you're getting a bit cocky, and aren't you forgetting that there are rules? You really think you can get him to break the rules and fall for you?"

"Well, I'll be able to do it better than Warren."

She heard him laugh, then there was a pause.

"Well, put your plan in the progress report and I'll send it to the team. We'll go dark, but we need results, any trouble we're just a phone call away, okay?"

End of Chapter 5.


	6. Chapter 6

Promise to Love Me, Even When You Hate Me.

Chapter 6.

Later that day Kate sat at her dining room table attempting to complete her progress report. She couldn't focus, she had talked the talk, but now she had to follow through and date the target. She had always followed the rules, and it had led her to success, but now she had to break them for the greater good. She thought it would have made her feel empowered, but all she felt was nauseous. She sighed as she leaned down and grabbed the folder off the chair, she held the first page up to her face and frowned as she scanned the first paragraph.

Dylan Mulholland Character Assessment.

On paper, Dylan appears to be a strong candidate to be a leader in the RAN, he is loyal to his superiors and protective of younger crew under his guard. His stubbornness however, can lead him to conflict. After his time in the gulf and the incident that involved the death of his boarding officer, he is quick to anger and tends to act first and think later. It is unclear whether he has truly dealt with his emotions regarding the incident, whether he blames himself and/or the navy. This makes him susceptible to outside influences and a potential security threat.

She placed the paper aside and removed some photos from the back of the folder, one showed him in a warehouse exchanging money with a man, and another of him taking possession of a small crate.

She exhaled sharply and shook her head, you can do this Kate, for the greater good. Letting out a growl she picked up her phone and messaged Dutchy.

"You better take me somewhere good."

Dutchy sat in the driver's seat and looked over to her and smiled as he pulled up to a secluded beach just out of Port Douglas.

"Here we are…"

Kate placed the book she was reading back into her bag and exited the car. Standing on a landing at the top of the stairs she gasped, in front of her was a pristine stretch of beach with crystal clear water. Dutchy stood beside her and nudged her with a giant grin on his face.

"Good enough?"

She nodded as she walked down the stairs. They walked down the path and on to the beach, Kate kicked off her shoes and waded through the water. Dutchy was a little confused about the whole situation, she was the one who had messaged him, and yet she had been silent the whole car ride.

"So, what made you change your mind?"

She shrugged as she picked up a shell from the sand trying to distract her focus from his face.

"I dunno, I guess you were right, I haven't ever really had any good friends, or ones that I've wanted to keep."

Dutchy was stunned at her honesty, he continued to walk trying to act as casual as possible.

"Right..."

She sighed and chucked the shell into the water, it skimmed across the top and slowly sunk in the shallows.

"I've always just done my job, moved on and up, and I guess, left everyone behind. You know how it is, new ships every year or so..."

He didn't know if it was a rhetorical question, he glanced over to her checking her expression.

"Well, not really, I've been on Hammersley for 3 years."

Kate stopped and tilted her head surprised.

"Really? You don't want to progress?"

"It's not that, but I'd rather be happy in what I do. I mean the navy is the navy, but I like to be surrounded by people whom I trust, and who trust me, and that's what I have with the crew now.

Kate felt that pang of guilt again, trust, it was such a simple word, but meant so much.

"Yeah, I guess."

"So, umm, you're obviously career oriented then, I mean, not that it's a bad thing."

"Yeah, well, that's what I've aimed for, so, umm, you like being a Buffer then?"

Kate cringed, it was such a beige question, Dutchy looked over to her and saw the annoyed expression on her face and laughed.

"Umm, yeah, I guess… What about you?"

Kate shrugged and focused back on her feet.

"Yeah, most of the time."

Dutchy scoffed at the awkwardness of the conversation.

"Has it really come to this? Small talk?"

"Maybe…"

He stood in front of her blocking her path making her stop and look up at him.

"Kate, tell me something real about you…"

She wrinkled her brow and walked around him.

"I already have, I told you about my ex, you tell me something real about you."

Dutchy caught up to her, she looked over to him waiting for an answer, he was deep in thought. Before he could think of anything both their phones beeped, they gave each other an all knowing look.

"I'll drive you home to get your stuff, then we can head to mine..."

After collecting Kate's belongings they headed to Dutchy's house. He swung open the door, Kate's jaw dropped as she looked around, she was a stunned, Dutchy scoffed at her expression.

"What?!"

"Oh, your place, it's umm, it's really nice..."

"You say that like you're surprised."

Kate walked into the living room, it was beautifully decorated, modern yet homely. Photos of the Hammersley crews filled the shelves of the bookcases, she walked over and picked on up.

"Well, it's just..."

He walked up behind her and whispered in her ear.

"Who's judging who now?"

She rolled her eyes and whacked him on the arm, he walked up the stairs to gather his things.

Kate and Dutchy arrived at the docks, they chatted and laughed as they walked up the gangway. 2Dads and Charge were on deck and spotted them, 2Dads leaned in towards Charge.

"They look chummy!"

Charge barely looked up and shrugged and continued to work.

"Maybe they're having a secret affair."

2Dads eyes widened, Charge shook his head seeing his reaction.

"I was joking!"

2Dad's eyes were fixated on them as they made their way below, Charge elbowed him in the ribs.

"Don't…"

Mike was in his cabin and heard them talking in the hallway, he poked his head out his cabin and observed them chatting, he smiled and nodded in satisfaction.

Kate's phone rang as she opened her cabin door, Dutchy was about to walk off but he saw her hesitant expression.

"Everything okay?"

She put on a smile and walked into her cabin, she shut the door as she pressed answer.

"Yes?"

"Had a sleep over did we?"

"Warren, what do you want? Didn't Shaun talk to you about giving me some space?"

"Yeah, but…"

"But, nothing…"

There was a knock on the door.

"I gotta go.."

Kate turned off the phone and shoved it into her pocket, she swung open the door, Mike raised an eyebrow seeing her frustrated looking face.

"You okay?"

Kate un-clenched her face and leaned on the door frame.

"Oh, yeah, telemarketers, you know…"

"Yeah, they're a pain, umm, anyway, I just saw you chatting to Dutchy, things are better with you two?"

"Yeah, we umm, found common ground."

"Good... well, sorry if any plans were ruined..."

Kate shrugged and chucked her bag on to her rack.

"Part of the job, but why are we going out again?"

"Ah, the Wollongong is out of action so we have to take over..."

"Great..."

Later that day Charge and 2Dads stood on the bridge at the comms console, Kate and Dutchy made their was up the stairs together. 2Dads eyes darted back and forth from them to the console, Charge was mid-sentence as he noticed his distracted gaze, he tapped 2Dads on the shoulder.

"Are you listening?"

He nodded, his eyes still fixated on Kate and Dutchy.

"Yeah."

Charge rolled his eyes and poked him again.

"What is it, 2Dads?"

His eyes darted back to Kate and Dutchy as he leaned in.

"Look at them, they were fighting like cats and dogs the other day, and today they're like BFF."

Charge shrugged taking little notice.

"So? They've buried the hatchet, that's good."

Mike stood at the EOD and cleared his throat.

"Okay, we've got an FFV people, let's go..."

Dutchy gave Kate a nudge as they walked down the stairs.

"You're favourite part!"

2Dads shot a look at Charge, he shook his head and shoved him towards the stairs.

"Just go! Leave your imagination in your cabin!"

The crew boarded the RHIB and headed for the FFV. Dutchy and Kate boarded first, followed by 2Dads and Swain. The crew were Asian fisherman, Kate scoured them for any signs of a leader.

"The Captain? Who's the captain?"

A man stepped forward and raised his hand.

"I, Captain..."

"Do you speak English?"

"A little..."

"Do you realise you are fishing in Australian waters?"

He stared blankly back at Kate, she let out a sigh and turned towards Dutchy.

"Dutchy, search the boat..."

He nodded towards Swain and 2Dads indicating for them to start. The captain stepped towards Kate not understanding what was happening,

Dutchy stepped in between them and held up his hands.

"Sir, stand back, we are searching the boat..."

Kate couldn't help but smile, she knew he was trying to protect her, that he cared, which meant her plan was working. She placed a hand on Dutchy's shoulder.

"It's okay, Dutchy, I got this, go help the others..."

She moved him aside and addressed the captain.

"Sir, you are illegally fishing in Australian waters..."

He shook his head furiously and waved his hands in the air.

"No, no, we okay..."

"No, Sir, I'm sorry, you can't..."

He placed his hands in his pockets and pulled out a wad of cash and presented it to her.

"I pay, I pay?"

Kate shook her head and pushed the money back toward him.

"Sir, we can not accept that!"

"Please, please!"

"Sir, I'm sorry, you need to step aside."

His head dropped, Kate and Swain searched the back deck. The captain approached Dutchy at the front of the boat and presented him the pile of money.

"What's this?"

He pulled on Dutchy's arm and placed it in his hand.

"You take!"

"What?"

"You take and I go?"

Dutchy looked down at the pile of money realising what he was trying to do.

"Oh, ah, no sorry, I can't..."

"Please!"

He undid the pile and started to shove it into Dutchy's pockets, Dutchy removed it as fast as he could and shook his head, Kate approached and frowned, unsure of what was happening.

"Ah, Petty Officer?"

Dutchy was startled by Kate's presence, he realised what it would have looked like.

"I think he's trying to bribe me?"

She glanced down at his pockets overflowing with notes.

"Trying?"

He pulled the rest of the notes out of his pocket and gave it back to the captain.

"X! C'mon!"

"Did you find anything?"

He shook his head.

"No catch..."

"Right, we'll tow them back out and keep and eye out."

They headed back to Hammersley, Kate's phone rang as they were stowing their equipment. She checked the caller ID and excused herself, she answered as she closed the cabin door.

"Seriously, Warren?"

"So did he take it? Did you get the footage?"

"What?"

"C'mon, Kate, we're making this easy for you…"

"What? You set this up?"

"Of course, we don't have time for this to drag on, we have an eyewitness…"

"I wouldn't call him an eyewitness, it's his word against Dutchy's, he hasn't even made a formal statement. Wait a minute, Shaun was happy to give me two months, why the rush?"

There was silence on the other end of the phone, Kate let out a scoff.

"You just don't want me to get close, do you?"

"Hang on, who's side are you on here?"

"Seriously, you're questioning my loyalty?"

"Well, did he take the money or not?"

"No, well, I don't know, I came round to the front of the boat and the guy was stuffing it into his pockets, but it looked like he was refusing it. I can't say for sure, but you didn't answer my question, why the rush?"

"We're getting pressure from everywhere, if this so-called hero is dodgy, the sooner we get him out, the better!"

"But what if he's not?"

"What?! He is guilty, Kate, we just need hard evidence, now, if you can't do this…"

Kate had heard enough, she hung up the phone and opened her door, she was startled as Dutchy appeared in her doorway.

"Oh, Dutchy..."

"X, I umm, just wanted to make sure you didn't get the wrong idea about what happened on the FFV earlier..."

"Why would you think I'd get the wrong idea?"

He broke eye contact and scuffed his shoes along the ground like a kid in trouble.

"Well, you don't know me and, well, you know in some situations, even though you're not guilty, you look guilty."

"Yeah, I get it... umm, it's okay."

"Cool, we good then?"

"Yeah, sure..."

She headed to the galley, he wasn't convinced that she believed him, he didn't want her to retreat into the old Kate, he thought they were getting somewhere.

"So, umm, you want to continue exploring when we get back?"

Kate's back was turned, she stood at the bench waiting for the kettle to boil.

"Kate?"

She heard him the first time, she needed a moment to gather her thoughts, this was harder than she thought.

"Ah, yeah, sure…"

"Where do you wanna go?" Beach again?"

"Where ever…"

She turned back to face the bench and poured them both a brew, Dutchy frowned at her attitude, why was she shutting down again? He attempted a non-invasive question.

"You just seem to really like the beach that's all…"

She exhaled sharply, she knew that she wasn't being friendly, she needed to snap out of it again, placing a smile back on her face she handed him a cup.

"Yeah, I did, I've missed the water, I thought being at a desk would be less, well, I thought I'd have more of a life."

Dutchy took a sip of his coffee and frowned.

"Weren't you at sea before? On a frigate in Darwin?"

Kate mentally kicked herself, she had forgotten her back story already.

"Ah, yeah, but not or that long…"

She needed to change the subject, and quick.

"So, you'll pick me up in the morning?"

"Sounds good..."

2Dads stood outside the galley, he had heard everything, he cleared his throat and moved himself into the doorway.

"So, anyone got any weekend plans?"

Dutchy and Kate both took a sip of their coffee, 2Dads smirked at their silence, he walked in and poured himself a brew.

"Thought I might head to the beach..."

He looked up in time to catch their uneasy expressions, Dutchy rolled his eyes knowing what he was doing and shoved past him.

"One day your mouth is gonna get you in trouble..."

2Dads jaw dropped mocking Dutchy's statement.

"Is that a threat? X did you hear that?"

She was nearly out the door.

"Ah, no sorry, didn't hear anything."

The next morning Kate was packed and ready to go early. There was a knock on the door, she skipped to the door and swung it open. The smile dropped off her face, it wasn't Dutchy standing in front of her.

"Boss..."

He looked her up and down and smirked.

"And where are you off to?"

"Oh, umm, just to the beach..."

"Must be nice for some..."

He pushed past her into the house, she rolled her eyes and closed the door hoping she wouldn't be lectured.

"What are you doing here? I thought you were giving me some space?"

"Well, Warren called me, he was, well, he was concerned. And before you say anything about jealousy, I wasn't going to take it seriously, but he said you asked him if he was sure that Mulholland was guilty?"

Kate hesitated, she didn't like to cause trouble, but she was sure there was more to him, to this case.

"Well, yeah, why can't people be innocent?"

"Kate, by the time the case gets to us then it's past that, look, I'm not gonna lie, I am concerned. You said you could handle being his girlfriend, but if it's going to make you question your job, then maybe this isn't the right case for you?"

"Shaun, seriously, don't worry about it!"

He stepped closer with a stern expression on his face.

"How can I not worry about it? My best leader is doubting the work that we do and I'm not really sure why, could you actually have real feelings for..."

Kate put her hand up stopping the rest of the sentence leaving his mouth.

Outside, Dutchy approached Kate's door and heard raised voices, he hesitated before knocking trying to listen for more.

"This is ridiculous, Shaun, you said it yourself, I'm one of the best…"

Kate threw her hands in the air feeling frustrated, she couldn't win either way.

"Have I let you down before?"

There was silence, Dutchy took it as an opportunity to knock on the door, Kate and Shaun froze.

"Who's that?"

"It's Dutchy, remember my job is to get close and…"

"No, your job is to find evidence, just remember that…"

Kate walked over to the back door and opened it, Shaun shook his head and followed.

"Just make sure you wear the wire..."

"Yeah, of course, but not today, we're swimming..."

"Well don't, stay out of the water, what if you miss something?"

Kate shook her head and pushed him towards the door.

"I've gotta get the door…"

He knew that she was avoiding his questions.

"Kate..."

She folded her arms across her chest.

"2 months, Boss..."

Shaun closed the door, and she headed to the front door, she took a deep breath in and opened it.

"Dutchy!"

He smiled nervously as he entered her house, he glanced around looking for the owner of the other voice.

Kate closed the front door and grabbed her bag off the table, Dutchy wandered around looking for the mystery person.

"You've got company?"

"Nope..."

He was sure he heard someone, he looked around again. Kate stood at the front door hoping Shaun was out of sight.

"We going?"

Dutchy let out a frustrated huff.

"You sure there was no one else here?"

Kate shrugged, trying to act like it was nothing, she opened the front door.

"No! Now let's go!"

Dylan knew she was avoiding his questions, he stood his ground.

"Kate?"

She placed her hands on her hips and raised an eyebrow mocking him.

"Dylan!"

"Just tell me you're safe, and don't lie to me."

She walked over to him and grabbed his arm and led him to the door.

"I'm safe, I promise!"

"Mmm, I still think you need to tell someone..."

"You know, so that's enough."

"No, Kate, someone of authority, Mike, Maxine, the cops. What if something happens?"

"Nothing is going to happen, Dutchy. Anyway, this is supposed to be our day off! What are we doing?"

"Well, I thought we could head to Townsville, shopping, lunch, exploring, I know it's not the beach but…"

She didn't care, she just needed him to leave so Shaun could leave.

"Yeah, sounds good…"

She pulled him out the door and down the front path, Dutchy opened the passenger door for her.

"Maybe we can go clothes shopping? Find you something between clubbing, couch and…"

He looked her up and down, she frowned and sat in the car.

"Okay, what's wrong with this?"

She wore black pants and a plain button-up shirt, he laughed and closed the door. She rolled down the window and raised an eyebrow.

"Dutchy?"

He walked round to the driver's side and got in, she whacked him on the arm.

"Seriously? What is wrong with my outfit?"

He shrugged and turned on the ignition.

"Nothing, if you're doing my taxes…"

End Chapter 6.


	7. Chapter 7

Promise to Love Me, Even When You Hate Me.

Chapter 7

After 45 minutes of driving the conversation had died off, Dutchy shifted In his seat as he glanced over to Kate who was deep in thought.

"Okay, what you thinking?"

Kate shrugged still looking out the window.

"Nothing."

It was, of course, a lie, on the inside she was freaking out. Was Warren right? Did she really doubt the information she was given? She blinked a few times bringing herself out of her head, either way, she was going to find out the truth. She felt his eyes on her, she turned her head slightly and raised an eyebrow.

"I'm fine, seriously…"

Dutchy didn't understand why she was so hot and cold, she had opened up to him previously, even if it was only for a split second. He felt she was still holding back, he didn't know why she couldn't she just be herself.

"Okay, lets play a game…"

"A game?"

"Yeah! Umm, so what do you prefer, cats or dogs?"

She looked over to him and frowned then focused back out the window. Dutchy re-gripped the steering wheel determined not to let her shut him out.

"C'mon, I'm just trying to make conversation here…"

She exhaled loudly, get it together, Kate. She shifted her body in the seat and tucked one leg under the other turning towards him.

"Dogs…"

He smiled and winked in her direction, he was winning.

"Me too… Okay, pasta or pizza?"

"Oh, that's a hard one, but pasta."

"Umm, chocolate or flowers?"

Kate let out a laugh.

"Chocolate, duh."

Dutchy wrinkled his nose trying to think of a hard one.

"Hmm, okay, sunsets or sunrises?"

"Sunrises..."

Kate was quick to answer, he glanced over to her surprised by her answer.

"Why sunrises?"

Her lips curved upward ever so slightly.

"Cos the sunrise signals a new day, giving me a chance to make a difference."

Dutchy's eyes darted back and forth from Kate to the road, he didn't know what to say, he didn't expect such an honest answer.

"Wow, okay, we're going deep now are we?"

Kate's heart raced as she felt her cheeks burn. She felt too exposed, she repositioned her body turning towards the door and looked back out the window. She jumped as she felt a hand on her arm.

"Kate, it's fine, why do you get all funny when you say something meaningful?"

She opened her mouth to reply, but he cut her off.

"And don't say you don't, you do!"

She folded her arms across her chest trying to think of a defense, but her mind was blank. She frowned as he pulled the car over to the side of the road.

"Well, you wanted to know something real about me…"

He got out the car, Kate sat in the passenger's seat looking around confused bout where they were. He walked around to her side and opened the door.

"Come on…"

She got out the car as he rummaged around the boot, he pulled out a small black bag and placed it over his body. She slammed the door shut still not understanding what was going on.

"I thought you said you were going to tell me something personal about you?"

"In a minute, follow me first."

They walked down a dirt track for a few minutes, they came to a clearing and were surrounded by large rock formations and a natural swimming hole.

Kate stood on top of a large boulder and closed her eyes feeling the warm sun on her skin, for a moment she felt calm, like her life wasn't a complete mess. She heard a clicking noise and reopened her eyes and turned in the noise's direction. Dutchy focused a large camera in her direction, she covered her face with one hand while she waved the other in his direction.

"What are you doing?"

"I'm showing you something personal about myself."

He shook his head slightly at her confused expression and placed the camera strap around his neck.

"You wanted to know something real about me, well, in my spare time I like to dabble in photography."

It wasn't anything that she was expecting, she didn't have a response.

"Well, after the stuff we have to deal with at work, it's nice to see the beauty in the world."

Kate tilted her head, she didn't expect such sentiment in his words.

"Oh…"

It was Dutchy's turn to feel exposed, he broke eye contact and quickly shoved the camera back into the bag.

"Never mind…"

She stepped off the boulder and stood close.

"No, Dutchy, sorry, I guess, I wasn't expecting it, I think it's wonderful."

She removed the camera from the bag and held it up to her eye.

"Show me…"

He wrapped the strap around her neck and stood behind her, a shiver ran down her spine as placed his hands on hers and held the camera up to her face and leaned in close.

"Okay, so look through the viewfinder, you can adjust the zoom by twisting the lens."

He maneuvered her hand from side to side.

"See?"

She could only manage a nod, she was too focused on how close he was standing.

"Okay, so, got it?"

She nodded again.

"So, find me some beauty…"

Kate pivoted on the spot, she focused on the water and took a shot, she then moved her attention to the trees and to the rock formations. She sighed as she removed the camera from her neck, the situation was all too perfect. A guy and a girl alone in the secluded, yet beautiful wilderness, taking photographs, discussing their innermost thoughts, and yet, none of it was real, and she needed to remember that. She handed the camera back to Dutchy, he flicked through the photos and nodded, impressed by what he saw.

"You've got a great eye…"

She peered over him to look at the screen.

"Really?"

They got lost in each other's gaze for a moment, Dutchy was the first to look away, he cleared his throat.

"Anyway, we better get going, still got a bit of a drive."

She nodded and took a last look around at the serenity.

"But, we'll have to come back here…"

She heard the click of the camera again, Dutchy smiled as he lowered the camera from his face. She walked passed him and shoved him a little.

"Stop! I hate having my photo taken!"

He grabbed her arm and pulled her in close turning the camera around to face them.

"Just one more… say selfie!"

She rolled her eyes as he took the photo, he nudged her and posed again.

"Come on, a nice one!"

She smiled and posed for the selfie.

They arrived at the main strip of Townsville, Dutchy pulled into a park and undid his seat belt.

"So, where to first?"

Kate patted her stomach and grinned.

"Ah, food, I need food."

"I thought you girls didn't eat before you went shopping?"

Kate looked at him strangely.

"Who are you hanging out with? I need fuel for this!"

After eating half her body weight in food, Kate was ready to hit the shops.

Dutchy pointed to various stores as they walked down the strip, she shook her head at everyone he suggested.

"Seriously, it's more of what I wore the other night."

"Hey, you looked good..."

"Yeah, but, Dutchy, I don't wanna look like I'm trying to look 18."

He let out a laugh.

"So why did you buy the other outfits?"

Kate stopped and glanced in one of the windows.

"Ah, probably out of spite…"

"Huh?"

She shook her head and continued walking down the street.

"Never mind, so what about you?"

"What about me?"

Kate pointed to a male mannequin in a window dressed in a suit.

"Oh, c'mon, if I have to do this then you do to!"

"I don't think so!"

"I'll make you a deal, I'll try on 3 outfits of your choosing and I do the same for you..."

Dutchy let out a groan as Kate pulled him towards the Westfield entrance.

They walked into Myer and Dutchy found himself the 'boyfriend' chair and flopped into it.

"Okay, do your worst."

Kate walked around the shop and picked out a few items, she dumped them on his lap.

"Here you go!"

Dutchy let out a groan as he rose from the chair, Kate sat in his place, 10 minutes later he hadn't emerged, she sat there tapping her foot impatiently.

"Hurry up, Petty Officer, that's an order!"

Dutchy flung open the change room curtains and did his best catwalk model impression out to the shop floor. Kate giggled as he swung his hips from side to side.

"Hey, it looks good!"

Dutchy walked over to the mirror and nodded in agreement.

"Yeah, actually, not bad."

He turned checking himself out in the reflection.

"I'm so used to my girlfriends dressing me in…"

He stopped himself and glanced back at Kate.

"I, umm, didn't mean that you're, like my girlfriend, I just meant that…"

Kate laughed at his bumbling explanation.

"Dutchy, it's okay, I know what you mean."

He turned back to the mirror and brushed off his shirt.

"So, if you're this good at picking out clothes why don't you do if for yourself?"

He smirked and looked at her in the mirror expecting a retaliation, she folded her arms over her chest.

"One day, Mulholland, one day you're going to get what's coming to you…"

He didn't reply and strolled over to the women's section and smirked.

"Yep, and today is that day…"

Kate followed him to the racks, he shook his head and ushered her back to the couch.

"No peeking…"

She reluctantly sat back in the chair and put on a sulky face.

He walked back over to the racks, her glanced back over to her periodically grinning at her impatient expression. He returned and presented her with a coat hanger, she looked up, her face void of expression and shook her head.

"No!"

He nodded and smirked and removed the red polka dotted bikini from the hanger and held it in her face.

"A deals a deal…"

She snatched it from him and walked back over to the racks and shuffled through the bathing suits. She walked back over to him with a giant grin on her face and shoved a coat hanger into his chest.

"A deals a deal…"

He shook his head as he looked down seeing a bright pink bikini with frills.

"You're lucky I man-scape…"

She cringed the thought and entered the change room.

5 minutes later Dutchy poked his head out of the curtain.

"You ready?"

There was no response, he wrapped himself in the curtain and stepped out of the change room making sure he was covered. He caught a glimpse of her through the gap in the curtain, she stood there in the bikini looking at herself in the mirror, he flung back the curtain surprising her, she screamed from surprised.

"Dutchy!"

He looked her up and down and nodded with approval, Kate grabbed her clothes and attempted to cover herself.

"Hey!"

He tried to pull them from her grip.

"Don't be embarrassed!"

She grinned seeing Dutchy hiding behind the curtain, she snatched it away from him and doubled over in a fit of giggles seeing the tiny bikini covering what it could. He stood there with his hands on his hips, she gasped for air in between her snorts and howls.

"Totally worth it!"

He snatched the curtain back from her grip.

"Hey, you're lucky everything fit in there..."

Kate collapsed on the floor unable to contain herself, her laughed got him going and he sat next to her on the ground giggling.

"I'm regretting the steak I had for lunch, I have to suck it in."

She scoffed and whacked him on the stomach.

"Yeah right, sorry you're six pack is blocking your beer gut!"

Dutchy looked over to Kate and nudged her with his elbow.

"See, friends are fun..."

She rolled her eyes and gathered her clothes covering herself again, Dutchy frowned seeing the wire hanging out from her top.

"What's that?"

"Oh, ah, just my, umm, headphones..."

"Right... okay, well, you better be buying that bikini..."

Kate giggled as she poked at his chest.

"I think they'll make you buy yours seeming you've, umm, stretched it out..."

She pulled on the string of the bottoms, he lept up and re-wrapped the curtain around him.

"Kate McGregor, were you checking out my..."

She shoved him out of her change room, a few minutes later he passed some outfits through the curtain.

"Here, these are the serious ones."

She refused to grab the hangers, he jiggled them in her direction.

"Seriously, no more bikinis…"

She let out a growl and hung them on the hook. Dutchy rose from the chair as she exited the cabin, he had to do a double take, he smiled and caught her eye.

"Now that's perfect."

Kate stood there in a floral knee length off the shoulder dress, it was fitted through to her waist. She looked over to Dutchy expecting another smart ass comment, but there wasn't one, she broke eye contact seeing the sparkle in his eyes.

"Umm, yeah, it's okay…"

She ran back into the change room, Dutchy shrugged and sat back down.

He waited for her at the counter, she emerged and plonked the clothes and bikini on the counter, she frowned seeing he had a pile too.

"You're getting the outfits I chose?"

He nodded and took out his wallet.

"Yeah, I wasn't lying when I said I liked them..."

"Oh, let me get them…"

She took out her wallet and grabbed the company credit card, Dutchy pushed her hand away.

"No, I can't let you do that…"

She shoved the card towards the sale assistant.

"Yes, you can…"

The sales assistant looked up at them and smiled.

"I love it when couples shop together, normally it's funny to watch them argue about outfits, but you two are so cute..."

Kate and Dutchy glanced awkwardly at each other, Kate cleared her throat.

"Ah, we're not together..."

They walked down the street in silence, Dutchy wasn't sure why it was awkward again.

"Ah, more food?"

"Nah, could go a brew though..."

Kate fiddled with the sugar packets realising the flaw in her plan, she didn't know if he had a girlfriend. She knew he didn't have a family, but if he had a girlfriend, it would throw the spanner in the works, she sat there thinking of a way to subtly ask.

"So, umm, your girlfriend doesn't like the way you dress?"

"Nah, I mean, I don't have one right now, but yeah, I'm not a slob, I think I dress okay. But for some reason they're always trying to get me into suits and stuff, it's just not me. I struggle with wearing Whites as it is, it's not my style..."

"Fair enough, but have you ever considered that maybe you're choosing the wrong girls then?"

"Oh, so, I'm going to get some McGregor words of wisdom am I?"

"No! Well, I mean, look, I'm not all about the looks, but I mean, if they want you to dress another way then what else do they want to change? But I bet I can guess what kinda of woman you go for..."

Dutchy crossed his arms over his chest feeling a little judged.

"Oh, really?"

Kate scanned the cafe for an example, she heard a flutter of giggles and turned to see a table of young, attractive twenty somethings, wearing next to nothing, sipping on their iced tea.

"Bingo..."

Dutchy's eyes followed Kate's, he let out a grunt, she was spot on.

"Ah, maybe..."

"Exactly, look, who wouldn't be attracted to umm, that, but maybe you should look for someone who's got a bit more, err, clothing."

Dutchy laughed at her description, he knew she was trying not to be insulting.

"Yeah, okay, well, maybe no one like that has ever been interested in me..."

Kate went to speak but thought better of it, she needed to be delicate, not to be too 'into him', straight away.

"Well, maybe you haven't put yourself out there?"

Dutchy felt like he was being lectured by his mother, he sighed and swirled his coffee around the mug.

"If we keep talking like this I'm gonna I've to Irish up my coffee... so, what about you?"

"What about me?"

"Do you only date murderous drug dealers…"

They both froze, Dutchy didn't mean for it to come out like that.

"Oh, Kate, sorry, it was supposed to be a joke…"

Kate glared at him, he could see the tears well in her eyes. Before he could say anything else, she rose from her chair and calmly walked away. Dutchy rubbed his hands over his face and slammed his fist on the table.

"You idiot!"

Kate sat on the sand, tears falling from her cheeks. She wasn't sure if she was mad about his comment, or mad at herself for involving personal information in her lie. She furiously wiped the tears from her cheeks as she heard footsteps approach, Dutchy sat next to her hoping that she wouldn't run again.

"Kate, I'm so sorry!"

She fixed her gaze out to the water.

"It's okay…"

"No, it's not okay, it was an awful thing to say, I wasn't thinking."

She dug her feet into the sand, she knew this was the moment, the moment that she could "let him in" and put her plan in motion.

"But it was the truth, and the other truth is that I haven't had a boyfriend since…"

She glanced up to Dutchy hoping he was going to lighten the mood, but instead he looked back at her with sympathetic eyes.

"I'm sorry…"

She couldn't stand seeing the look on his face, that look of pity, she focused back on the sand.

"Don't be sorry, what did Grey's Anatomy teach me? It's not love if it doesn't destroy you?"

"What? I've never seen that show, but it sounds terrible. Love shouldn't destroy you, it anything it should help you grow."

Kate let out a sigh digging her feet further into the sand.

"You've obviously never been in love then."

"Obviously not…"

They sat there staring out into the water, Kate cleared her throat knowing she needed to give him more.

"You know, you're the only one I've ever told this too…"

"Oh…"

She felt Dutchy shift in the sand, she hoped she hadn't blown it and made him feel uncomfortable.

"Ah, sorry, I didn't mean to make this weird…"

Kate went to stand, Dutchy pulled on her arm making her sit back down.

"No, you didn't, I just don't really know what to say."

She shrugged.

"You don't need to say anything, listening is enough…"

"Can I just ask, I mean, is this why you're so serious about work? I mean, like you don't want to get close to anyone?"

It was exactly why, but she wasn't ready to admit that just yet.

"Ah, no, I mean, I just don't have the time, I'm on a new ship basically every year…"

Dutchy knew that she was trying to make excuses, but he didn't want to call her out on it, not when she was opening up again.

"Well, I'm glad you told me."

"Dutchy, just, can you keep this to yourself?"

"Of course, Kate, it's not something that I'd go round telling everyone, I mean…"

She waved her hand in the air dismissing his explanation.

"No, sorry, I know you wouldn't..."

She lifted her hand and slowly placed it on his knee, she glanced up to him out the corner of her eye.

"Thanks for this, I mean it…"

Dutchy smiled and placed his hand on hers.

"Anytime, I mean it..."

Kate broke eye contact and cleared her throat, she pulled her hand back and ran it through her hair. She wasn't sure if she was uncomfortable because she had shared private information, or because they were actually bonding over it. She hopped up from the sand and brushed herself off.

"Okay, I'm hungry again…"

Dutchy knew she was changing the subject, but he went along with it.

"Yeah, cool. What ever you want…"

That night Dutchy dropped Kate back to her house, he carried the shopping bags to her front door. She unlocked the door and hesitated for a moment.

"Ah, you wanna come in?"

Dutchy was surprised by her offer.

"Ah, yeah, sure…"

He plonked the bags on the kitchen bench and sat on the couch, Kate brought over a bottle of wine and 2 glasses.

"So, umm, thanks for today."

"You already said that…"

'Well, did I already say that I'm glad to have you as a friend?"

Dutchy's eyes darted up to hers checking that she wasn't being sarcastic, he shook his head and took a sip from his glass.

"Yeah, well, I told you we'd make a good couple, I mean, like friends…"

Dutchy's phone beeped, he took his phone from his pocket, it was a message from 2Dads.

"Pub tonight?"

Kate glanced over and saw the message.

"Oh, don't let me keep you…"

Dutchy shrugged and put the phone back in his pocket.

"Nah, all good, I'm pretty tired, rather just hang and watch a movie or something, oh, that's if you don't mind the company?"

Kate sipped on her wine trying to hide her smile, her plan was a go.

"Are you sure?"

He nodded and wiggled himself into the couch.

"Definitely…"

"Good, I'll pick the takeaway then…"

Dutchy laughed and shook his head in wonder.

"Do you ever stop eating?"

End of Chapter 7.

Thanks to everyone who's left a review, I hope i'm not confusing people too much, i try and re read everything but then I know what's going to happen so i'm not reading it with the same minds as you guys! lol there's still so much more to come, and i'm trying not to rush it cos i'm getting impatient lol!

P.S. Fun fact, Conrad Colbey (Dutchy) is now a professional photographer, thought it might be fun to add some real facts in.


	8. Chapter 8

Promise to Love Me, Even When You Hate Me.

Chapter 8.

The next morning Kate awoke on the couch, she groaned as she attempted to re-position her body, but she couldn't move. Opening one eye she flinched seeing Dutchy's body intertwined with hers, she lay there for a minute feeling protected, she fit so perfectly in his nook. Shaking the inappropriate thoughts from her mind, she tried to remove herself from the couch without waking him, but she caught her foot on his leg and stumbled and fell on top of him. He jolted upright, startled at her body falling on top of his.

"Oh, sorry, Dutchy…"

She instantly moved herself to the other side of the couch as he sat up and stretched his arms.

"What time is it?"

She peered over the kitchen counter to the microwave.

"It's 10am."

He rubbed his eyes as he arched his back.

"Good sleep in, pity it wasn't in a comfortable bed though, I guess I better get back to mine."

Kate avoided eye contact and shifted in her seat feeling awkward about their close sleep over.

"Oh, yeah, cool…"

He smirked and playfully punched her on her arm.

"Don't tell me you're gonna miss me?"

She scoffed and rose from the couch and headed into the kitchen.

"Yeah, sure…"

"Umm, catch you later? I'm sure the others will be up for a pub night?"

"Maybe."

Later that day Kate sat on the couch with her computer, the screen full of surveillance photos, bank statements, character assessments and psychologist reports, all belonging to Dutchy. She massaged her temples, processing it all was giving her a headache. She had investigated dodgy officers most of her career, she knew their traits, their personalities, but her gut feeling was that there was more to him than just a straight up bad guy, and her gut was generally right. She sighed as she scanned through his bank statement, there were multiple large deposits dated from the past few months. Her eyes narrowed as she read the descriptions of the transactions.

"Who is that from?"

She clicked over to his Naval Profile.

"What is your motivation?"

She scrolled through the documents and read through his psychologist reports.

"Revenge? But, you don't hate your job, well, not obviously. You say you love the crew, that they're your family, you wouldn't do this to your family…"

She grabbed her phone and searched through her contacts, she pressed on a name and placed her phone between her ear and her shoulder. She continued to open other documents on the computer as the phone rang.

"Sam, it's me… yeah I'm good, this one's getting to me though. Did Warren get you to trace any deposits for Dylan Mulholland? No? Okay, can you do me a favour? Find out where these deposits came from? I'll send you the account details... Thanks, ASAP if possible, I'll owe you one, great, talk soon!"

She let the phone drop from her shoulder as she opened an email and attached the screen shots.

Later that night the crew were having a get together at the pub, Kate had ignored the messages from Dutchy asking her to go. She had just made herself comfortable on the couch, about to start her Grey's Anatomy marathon when the doorbell rang. She let out a huff and stomped to the door and looked through the peephole, it was Dutchy. She raised an eyebrow as she opened the door.

"What's up?"

"Did you get my message? Thought you might want to come and have a drink with the crew?"

"Nah, not tonight…"

"Oh, c'mon, break out some of the new clothes, and I'll ignore the fact you haven't complimented me on my outfit yet…"

She looked him up and down and noticed he was wearing the clothes she had picked out for him.

"Very nice…"

She tried to resist as he entered the house and pushed her towards the stairs.

"Break out the fun Kate, you know you want to!"

She exhaled sharply and plodded up the stairs, she knew he wasn't going to give in.

"Fine, give me 20 minutes…"

Half an hour later she descended the stairs in the dress he had picked out for her, he rose from the couch and smiled.

"Still looks good! Oh, umm, and I got you something…"

They walked over to the kitchen counter, he handed her the larger of the 2 parcels that sat on the bench. She inspected the flat, rectangle shaped object wrapped in brown paper.

"What is it?"

"Just open it!"

Kate carefully peeled off the sticky tape from one end as Dutchy bounced impatiently up and down on the spot. He let out a groan and ripped open the other end.

"Come on!"

She laughed and snatched the parcel away from him.

"Hey, it's my present, I'll unwrap it how I like!"

He rolled his eyes and placed a hand on his hip, she smirked in his direction as she slowly undid the next piece of tape knowing it would drive him crazy. He let out a louder groan and rolled his head back in disgust, she laughed at his childish reaction and tore off the last piece. She flipped it over to reveal a panoramic photograph in a large white frame, Dutchy stood beside her and admired the work of art. She squinted at the photo, the scene looked so familiar.

"Where is this?"

"It's the place we visited yesterday…"

She held it out in front of her and smiled, she walked over to the lounge and removed one of her paintings and hung it on the wall.

"It's beautiful…"

"Well, you're the one who took it…"

"Dylan, this is so thoughtful of you!"

"Yeah, well, now you can see the beauty in the world every day."

She took a step back pretending to admire the photo, but in reality she wanted to be out of his eyeline as she felt tears well in her eyes. He walked back over to the counter giving her time to compose herself. He picked up the other package and went to hand it to her, but he pulled it back at the last second.

"Hey, you've never called me Dylan before…"

She snatched the other package from him and eagerly ripped it open.

"Huh? Yes, I have…"

She flung the paper to the side, it was another photo frame, it contained the selfie that he took of them. One half of the frame had the photo of Kate rolling her eyes, and other half had the one of them both smiling.

"And this is a reminder that life doesn't always have to be so serious…"

Kate's eyes were fixed on the photo, she had never seen herself like this, she looked normal, happy even. Dutchy made his way to the front door and opened it, he turned assuming she would follow, but she was still staring at the photo.

"You okay?"

Kate snapped back to reality and placed the photo on the counter and sighed.

"Dutchy…"

He tilted his head confused by her tone.

"Yeah?"

She hesitated for a moment and shook her head and grabbed her bag from the chair.

"Never mind…"

He laughed as she waked passed him out the door.

"You're a strange one, McGregor…"

Kate approached the pub, she got to the doors and stopped, Dutchy bumped into her not expecting her to stop.

"You okay?"

"Ah, yeah…"

Dutchy could tell she was nervous, gave her an encouraging nudge.

"They don't bite! C'mon!"

She brushed off her dress and straightened her posture, he gave her a nudge with his elbow as they entered the pub.

"Hey, at least if they don't like your personality, you know you look great!"

Her jaw dropped and she playfully shoved him back with both of her hands.

"Well, I don't think it'll be a problem, they like you, don't they?"

They continued to rile each other up as they approached the crew, 2Dads split off from the group as he saw them.

"Dutchy! Ah, X! good to see you, didn't expect you…"

She winced hoping the crew were going to be accepting of her presence, she knew she needed to bring out 'Fun Kate', and fast. Placing a smile on her face she gave 2Dads a friendly pat on the back.

"Ah, yeah, thought I'd better come keep an eye on you lot."

2Dads looked uneasy, Kate laughed and rolled her eyes.

"Relax, 2Dads, we're off duty!"

He almost sighed with relief, Dutchy wrapped his arm around his shoulders.

"First rounds on you I think!"

2Dads eyes lit up and peeled Dutchy's arm off of him.

"Shots it is…"

He walked off to the bar, Kate shot Dutchy a worried look, he laughed and grabbed her by the shoulders.

"C'mon Kate, relax! Let them get to know the real you!"

The smile dropped from her face, the real Kate, she had no idea who that was. Dutchy noticed her hesitant expression.

"Oh, c'mon, you let me in, that wasn't that hard, was it?"

She placed a smile back on her face and shook her head, they walked over to the table and were greeted with enthusiasm. 2Dads returned with a tray of shots and handed them out.

"What are we toasting to?"

Mike held up his glass and nodded in Kate's direction.

"How about, to Kate, welcome to Hammersley!"

Charge nudged her.

"Oh yeah, this is your first pub night isn't it? Welcome to the family!"

Kate smiled and charged her glass.

"To family…"

They all swallowed their shots, Kate cringed as the liquid burnt down her throat, Dutchy patted her on the back.

"Ugh, what was that?"

Charge cleared his throat and gathered up the glasses.

"Oh, X, I'll get you something tasty…'

Charge shimmied to the bar and turned and called out.

"Guava Mojo!"

A chorus of "Guava Mojo" rang out amongst the crew.

Swain positioned himself next to Dutchy and looked him up and down.

"So, you got a new lady friend, mate?"

Dutchy was thrown by his question and tilted his head.

"Ah, no, what makes you think that?"

He pulled on his shirt and looked him up and down.

"Ah, you're upgraded look, it's good."

Dutchy smiled and spun around showing it off.

"Hey, I've always had style, but, you like?"

Swain nodded and sipped on his beer.

"Yeah, very nice…"

Dutchy leaned in and whispered in his ear.

"It's still me though, right?"

"Yeah, looks good, mate!"

He wrapped his arm around Kate and pulled her towards them.

"Well, I can thank the X for my enhanced look."

Swain nearly choked on his mouthful, he took another sip of his beer in an attempt to cover his surprised looking face.

"Oh, so, umm, you had a bit of a shopping trip?"

Kate couldn't hold in her giggles thinking of Dutchy in the bikini.

"You could say that!"

She looked over to Dutchy and burst out laughing. Swain's eyes darted back and forth from Kate to Dutchy, he was lost.

"Ah, did I miss something?"

Dutchy eyes widened giving her a warning, Kate couldn't help herself, 'Fun Kate' had been unleashed.

"Yeah, you totally missed Dutchy in a pink frilly bikini…"

Charge nearly dropped the tray of cocktails on the table as he returned hearing Kate's comment.

"Ah, what?!"

Dutchy knew he wasn't going to be able to change the subject, he rubbed his hands over his face.

"It was a dare, okay?"

Charge handed out the Guava Mojo's and laughed.

"Sure, sure! Man, what I would pay to see that…"

Kate took a large gulp of her cocktail.

"Oh, no you don't wanna see that! Trust me…"

She glanced down at her glass and nodded with approval.

"And yeah, Charge, this tastes great!"

She swallowed the rest of her glass as Charge took a bow and handed her another one.

"You're welcome!"

Placing the empty glass on the table, she took a sip of the next one. Charge leaned close to Dutchy and whispered in his ear.

"Do I tell her how much alcohol is in them?"

Dutchy shook his head, Kate sat down and glanced over to Charge raising an eyebrow.

"How much would you pay? Hypothetically?"

Charge sat down beside her, his eyes widened with childlike excitement.

Kate grinned and took out her phone and placed it on the table, Dutchy's smile dropped off his face.

"You didn't?"

He went to snatch the phone off the table but 2Dads beat him to it, Dutchy lunged at 2Dads who threw the phone in Charge's direction. Charge eagerly flicked through the photos on Kate's phone, his jaw dropped as Dutchy's barely covered body appeared. He cringed and chucked the phone back on the table furiously rubbing his eyes.

"I can't un-see that!"

Dutchy snatched the phone off the table before anyone else could see the photo.

"Aww, come on, you could have at least taken it from my good side…"

Kate laughed and took her phone back.

"That's every side!"

Later that night Kate stood at the bar waiting to order another round, Mike approached and stood next to her.

"Having a good night?"

"Oh, Boss, hi, yeah, actually, I am…"

"Good, you know, I think we're gonna make a good little team…"

He leaned on the bar and glanced back at the crew.

"You're never gonna want to leave…"

She gave him a halfhearted smile and picked up the tray of drinks.

"Yeah…"

Later that night Kate and Dutchy made their way home, they had a few too many drinks, so they left their cars at the pub. They stumbled along the footpath giggling, Dutchy gave her a slight hip and shoulder.

"I can't believe you took a photo of me in that bikini…"

"I couldn't help it, thought it might come in hand later when needed a favour or..."

"Or what? To blackmail me…"

She shrugged smiling a devilish grin and skipped ahead.

"Maybe…"

He jogged after her and wrapped his arm around her shoulder.

"You know, I take it back, you're not a strange one, you're a total mystery!"

The next morning Kate's phone rang on her bedside table making her jolt upright in bed. She was about to reach for the phone when she felt the contents of her stomach rise, she lept out of bed and ran into the bathroom just in time.

A few minutes later she exited the bathroom wiping her face with a face washer, she placed it over her face and flopped back into the bed.

"Morning…"

She screamed and bolted back up hearing Dutchy's voice, the face washer falling into her lap. She looked to her left, Dutchy lay next to her, her eyes ran from his face down to his feet. She swallowed hard seeing he was in his boxers, her eyes widened terrified that something had happened, he let out a laugh knowing what she was thinking.

"Oh, seriously? Kate, I'm a gentleman…"

Kate picked up the face washer and placed it back over her face and slumped back onto her pillow, she wrinkled her face hearing him chuckle.

"Plus, if we did, you would remember…"

She patted the bed feeling for a pillow, gripping it tight she hurled it in his direction. She felt the bed move and exhaled with relief.

"Yes, leave me in peace, please."

He walked around to her side of the bed and stood above her removing the face washer.

"Sorry, no such luck! The Boss called your phone when you were, umm, preoccupied, we're sailing today, now…"

She sat up back up and clutched her head as the throbbing intensified.

"Wait, you answered my phone?"

"Yeah, why?"

Kate maneuvered herself to the edge of the bed and hunched herself over and let out a groan.

"Cos it won't look good…"

Dutchy rolled his eyes at her assumption.

"What? The boss knows you'd never break a rule, he has met you right?"

She let out a scoff and headed to the bathroom and slammed the door.

Kate boarded The Hammersley and was able to get to her cabin without running into any of the crew. She flopped on to her rack still feeling like death, a few seconds later there was a knock on her door. She let out a groan and rolled off her rack, she leaned against the door as she opened it.

Mike stood on the other side not looking impressed, she straightened herself in an attempt to look less hungover.

"Oh, Boss…"

"Big night?"

She winced as he walked into her cabin and shut the door, she knew she was in for a talking to. She sat on her rack unable to make eye contact with him.

"Sorry, Boss, I know out of everyone I should be the responsible one, but I was just trying to, you know, relate to the crew."

Mike sighed as sat on her desk chair, he didn't know how to say was he wanted to say delicately, so he was just going to say it.

"Kate, you're the last one that I thought I'd be quoting the non-fraternisation rule too…"

She jumped off her rack and hit her head in the process, she fell back on to the rack rubbing her head.

"Boss, I think you have the wrong idea…"

Mike scooted the chair closer to her.

"Really? Dutchy answered your phone this morning, he said you woke him up with your vomiting in the en-suite."

"Yeah, but Boss, we're just friends…"

She looked up into his eyes hoping that he believed her.

"Kate, just, don't put yourself in that situation…"

She couldn't help herself, she shook her head and wrinkled her nose.

"Boss, I think that's a little unfair, I mean, what? So I can't have friends stay over?"

"No, not at all, but, look you're in a position of power, and sometimes people…"

She stood from the rack and paced around him.

"Hang on, what are you saying? That he's using me or something…"

"No, Kate, I mean, I trust Dutchy with my life, it's just, well…"

"Boss, just spit it out."

She sat back on the rack and glared in his direction.

"Kate, look I'm not saying that guys and girls can't be friends, but if you do find yourself feeling… look, when you spend so much time together and, well, you can't help who you fall for…"

Kate shook her head and scoffed.

"Yes, you can! Boss, I can reassure you there is nothing going on between me and Dutchy…"

"Okay, well just as long as both of you know that…"

"Huh? Are you saying he's got feelings for me?"

Mike rubbed his neck feeling awkward, the discussion wasn't going to plan.

"Ah, no, it's more of a, umm, this isn't coming out right, all I'm saying is, just be careful…"

The conversation had got out of hand, Kate couldn't deal with it in her current state.

"Okay, Boss, I hear you loud and clear…"

Mike nodded and made a quick exit leaving her with her hangover. She lay back on her rack and attempted to get comfortable, it was no use, she was irritated. She made her way to the galley in search of coffee, 2Dads stood at the bench waiting for the kettle to boil.

"Oh, good morning, Ma'am…"

She forced a smile and leaned herself against the bench.

"There's nothing good about it."

He let out a chuckled and poured them both a cup.

"Guava Mojo?"

She let out a groan and closed her eyes, just thinking about them made her want to run to the bathroom.

"I don't ever want a Guava Mojo again…"

2Dads looked over to and could see she was struggling.

"Ah, why don't you go sit in the mess and I'll bring it in to you."

She didn't have the strength to argue, she made her way to the mess and sat with her head on the table. 2Dads placed the cup near her head and sat down opposite her.

"So, you had a goodnight though?"

She lifted her head and took a small sip from the mug.

"Yeah, I guess…"

"So, you and Dutchy are like, well, friends now?"

She let out a groan and place her head back on the table.

"Oh, not you too…"

"Huh?"

"Just, sick of people assuming things…"

She turned her head in his direction her cheek squashed against the table.

"Actually, do you think guys and girls can just be friends?"

2Dads sipped on his brew thinking about it.

"Well, yeah, I mean, well, I'm a bad example, I tend to fall for a lot of my female friends, but definitely. I mean, I don't think you've got anything to worry about, you're not his type."

He hesitated realising it may have come across offensive.

"Oh, I mean, look, that's not a bad thing…"

Kate let out a scoff, it was a bad thing, she needed Dutchy to fall for her, he patted her arm trying to reassure her.

"He's a good friend, X, he's always been there for me. Don't let the tough guy exterior fool you, he's been through a bit…"

"Yeah, I know about the boarding incident…"

"No, I mean, there' more …"

She sat up intrigued by his claim, her head throbbed, she supported it with her hand.

"Really? Like what?"

"It's not my business to tell, X, sorry, but just, give him a chance…"

"What? I am, what has he said?"

2Dads laughed, she was always so defensive, this is exactly what he meant.

"Well, exactly like you're being, he tries to talk, but then if he's faced with, well, a wall, he'll shut down."

"No, I get it…"

"Yeah well, I feel like I owe him, I was a bit of a pain in the ass at the beginning…"

Kate gave him a shove and put on a sarcastic tone.

"No, I never would have guessed…"

"Yeah, I know, so, it was either this or juvie, and I resisted for months, but he took me under his wing and, well, here we are, 3 years later and I'm still here…"

Kate couldn't help but smile.

"Well, that's good, the CO said he'd trust him with his life…"

"Yeah, if there's anyone you want to have your back, it's him."

"C'mon, he' got to have some bad qualities…"

2Dads shook his head as he took another sip of his coffee.

"Nope, well, apart from stubbornness, his over protectiveness, his, nah, kidding, why? What have you heard?"

"Ah, nothing, just, just making sure…"

Dutchy knocked on the door frame making them both jump.

"Having a gossip session are we?"

Kate placed her head back down on the table, 2Dads and Dutchy laughed as Dutchy sat down next to Kate. He placed a hand on her shoulder causing her to flinch, Dutchy frowned a little hoping it was just her fragile, hungover state. 2Dads noticed their strange exchange and excused himself.

"I'll umm, catch up with you guys later..."

Dutchy shifted into 2Dads' seat not wanting Kate to feel uncomfortable.

"So, you're not good I take it?"

"I haven't felt like this since I was 21"

"Oh, so there were some crazy party days in your past life?"

Kate let out a scoff and sipped on her brew.

"Maybe one or 2, definitely no more than 3..."

Dutchy rolled his eyes and sat back next to her and rubbed her back.

"Oh, c'mon! You need to live more!"

Kate wasn't in the mood for his niceties, she was hungover, embarrassed by the fatherly lecture/advice that Mike had attempted to give and irritated that he seemed to be the most beloved person in the navy. Nothing was making her job easy, especially him. She let out a groan as Dutchy rose from the bench.

"I'll help you back to your cabin..."

He reached out to help her up, she snatched her arm back.

"I'm fine..."

She winced realising that she was taking her agitated state out on him, Dutchy stepped aside and allowed her to exit first, he shook his head and followed her.

He stopped at her to her cabin on the way to the bridge, he leaned on her door frame as she went to close the door.

"Remember, X, boundaries don't keep other people out, they fence you in..."

He walked off with a smirk on his face leaving Kate dazed by his words, she went to close the door when she had a lightbulb moment.

"Hey, that's a line from Grey's..."

Dutchy turned back and winked at her.

"Yeah, sure, and I'm McDreamy!"

End of Chapter 8.


	9. Chapter 9

Promise to Love Me, Even When You Hate Me.

Chapter 9.

Mike turned from the console hearing Dutchy come up the stairs.

"Do I blame you for the X's current state?"

Dutchy's face morphed into an innocent looking child's in an attempt to defect the blame.

"Me? Boss, c'mon... clearly it was Charge's doing!"

Mike shook his head trying to contain his smile.

"Is she okay?"

"I think she just needs some sleep, I've sent her to bed."

"Okay, well, we're steaming towards Samaru, it'll be a few hours before we get there. If we run into any FFV's you can lead the boardings..."

The morning was uneventful much to Kate's relief, a few hours later she had managed to get some sleep and felt semi refreshed. She knocked on Mike's cabin door and sheepishly poked her head in.

"Sir?"

"Yes, X?"

She walked into the cabin and shut the door, standing above his desk she cleared her throat.

"Ah, I'd just like to apologise for this morning, Sir."

"It's okay, X…"

He gestured for her to take a seat, she sat awkwardly on his rack.

"We weren't scheduled to sail, and while I'm not going to give you the lecture about being prepared, I will just warn you that drinking more than 5 Guava Mojo's will put the best of us in a comatose state."

"Well, thanks, but I could have done with that warning last night, but I think I've learned my lesson."

"I'm just glad you're making an effort with the crew."

"Yeah, they're not so bad!"

"So, umm, Samaru, have you heard of it?"

"Yeah, I've heard it mentioned once or twice."

"Well, hopefully it's not too bad this time. In the past there have been some locals not to happy with our presence, but we're there to keep the peace. We'll be there in about an hour..."

She gave him a nod and exited his cabin, she headed for the bridge. As she ascended the stairs she was greeted by a round of applause, Charge patted her on the back while letting out a chuckle.

"She lives!"

Kate scoffed and playfully shoved him back.

"Yeah, no thanks to you!"

"Hey, you said they were tasty! I wasn't going to stop you enjoying yourself!"

The Hammersley docked at Samaru and the crew were divided into teams to patrol the area around the village.

2Dads and Dutchy walked along the southern boarder, 2Dads kicked a stone along the dirt track trying to think of a way to bring up the hundreds of questions he had about the X's new found friendliness.

"So, the X, she umm, she seems to have thawed..."

2Dads kicked the rock into Dutchy's path, he shrugged and kicked the rock back in 2Dads direction.

"Yeah, kinda."

"What do you mean kinda, you saw her last night...I'm pretty sure we have you to thank."

2Dads kicked the rock back over to Dutchy's side, it skidded along and ended up a few steps in front of him.

"I dunno, she's still a bit funny, but yeah, it's an improvement."

"Well, I think you're her favourite, you know she was asking about you today."

Dutchy went to kick the rock but missed it hearing 2Dads comment.

"About me?"

2Dads darted in front of him and kicked the rock off to the side.

"Yeah, just, general chit chat, but it was a bit weird."

"How can it be general chit chat and weird."

"I dunno, but I get the feeling that someone, maybe the boss, may have given her the non-fraternisation talk."

Dutchy's eyes were focused on 2Dads as they continued to walk, he didn't see the large rock in his path and stubbed his foot, he stumbled still focused on 2Dads.

"Ah, shit!… And, what? Why would he do that?"

Dutchy shook his foot trying to alleviate the pain, 2Dads laughed as he hobbled along.

"Well, I made a comment about you two being closer, and the way she responded, it was like someone had already given her grief about it. Oh, and then she asked me if I thought guys and girls could just be friends."

"What did you say?"

"Well, yes but also no, but don't worry, I totally told her she wasn't your type."

Dutchy frowned a little offended by his assumption.

"Hey, she could be!"

2Dads stopped and tilted his head curious about his answer.

"Oh, so what, you're suddenly into women if authority?"

Dutchy let out a scoff and continued to walk.

"Well no, but maybe I'm looking for more than just a pretty face."

2Dads whacked him on the shoulder surprised at his answer.

"Wait a minute, so you're saying you are into her?"

"No, 2Dads, I'm just saying I'm open to someone different, anyway, this isn't about me."

"Yeah it is, cos then she was asking how much I trusted you or something... it actually sounds like she's a bit into you..."

"Don't be ridiculous, 2Dads, she wouldn't break the rules."

Dutchy wasn't in the mood to be interrogated, he picked up his speed but 2Dads did the same.

"Ah, huh! So you are interested?"

Dutchy dragged his hands over his face and shook his head.

"Just shut up before someone overhears and you get us both into trouble!"

2Dads laughed and nudged him.

"We will be continuing this conversation later!"

There was silence for a few minutes as they approached outskirts of the area.

"Oh, then she asked me if you had any bad qualities..."

Dutchy whacked him on the arm and walked in the opposite direction shaking his head.

"Shut up, 2Dads..."

2Dads chuckled to himself and jogged after him.

"Okay, so, hypothetically, what if you did like someone on the ship, would you leave?"

Dutchy exhaled sharply and tried to ignore 2Dads pestering questions, 2Dads caught up with him and shoved him playfully.

"That question has nothing to do with the X…"

"C'mon 2Dads, even if that was true, I'd have to be totally in love and, actually it doesn't matter."

Dutchy grabbed 2Dads by the shoulders and looked him in the eyes.

"Listen to me carefully when I say, I don't like the X..."

They spun around hearing a shoe scuff along the ground, Kate stood a few steps behind them, her eyes wide like a deer caught in headlights. She immediately spun the other way and walked off, Dutchy hit 2Dads on the arm.

"See, now look what you've done!"

2Dads cringed and Dutchy ran after her.

"X! Wait!"

Kate didn't stop, she was embarrassed, hurt, even. Even though she knew all of this was just part of the job it still burned, she had opened up and it didn't seem to matter. Dutchy caught up to her and grabbed her shoulder spinning her around.

"X!"

She refused to meet his eyes and focused on the ground.

"Kate, you came in at the wrong end of the conversation."

"What, so, I didn't hear the words, I don't like the X, come out of your mouth?"

"Well, yes, but I had to get him off my back."

"Yeah, so what is this? High school? Where you just tell him you don't like me, but you actually do..."

He placed a hand no her arm trying to reassure her.

"Kate."

Kate looked up to him for a split second, they heard the sound of twigs snapping and he immediately dropped her hand, their eyes scanned the jungle and they drew their weapons.

"Australian Navy, show yourselves..."

A puppy trotted out of the bushes, they exhaled with relief and replaced their weapons in their holsters. Kate knelt down and picked it up.

"Aww, you're so cute!"

Dutchy scratched the puppy's ears and tried to make eye contact with her.

"Can you just let me explain?"

"What's there to talk about? I now understand how you operate, you're two different people. A nice, thoughtful guy when you're with me, then the tough jock when you're with the boys, I get it."

Dutchy wrinkled his face the use of the term 'operate'.

"How I operate? What are you talking about? Kate, I like you..."

She let out a huff and stormed off holding the puppy, Dutchy exhaled sharply.

"More than I probably should admit..."

He dropped his head and walked back to 2Dads.

Kate stopped at the edge of town, she sat on an old tree stump and held the puppy up to her face.

"What am I doing?"

She could feel her heart race, she was agitated and scared at the same time. She closed her eyes feeling stupid, her outburst had been real, that was the most upsetting part.

"Why are you picking fights? You're not even together yet."

She knew having any type of emotion wasn't good, it meant that she had some type of feelings, and in her line of work she wasn't allowed too.

She looked back down at the puppy who was gnawing on her finger.

"What am I going to do with you?"

The puppy licked her nose, she rolled her eyes and rose to her feet.

"Great, I'm talking to a puppy."

She walked back into the village gathering her thoughts, Dutchy spotted her and cautiously approached.

"X..."

She shook her head and walked in the other direction.

"No..."

She needed time to compose herself, but he followed her.

"C'mon, X, this was a silly misunderstanding... you know me..."

"No, I don't... and that's fine."

Her phone rang interrupting them, she glanced down at the caller ID and handed him the puppy and walked off. Looking around she made sure she was out of ear shot and answered the phone.

"Sam, that was fast! A private trust? What does that mean?… okay, is it traceable? Yeah, a warrant won't be a problem, will he know someone's checking?…Well, that's a risk we have to take I guess, yeah, thanks. I'm out on patrol at the moment but should be able to get the paperwork to you tonight, thanks!"

She sighed as she hung up the phone

"You can do this, only 6 more weeks…"

She made her way back to the village knowing that she needed to clear the air, she was making her own job hard. She walked along trying to think of the movies she despised, how could she turn this around and into her own rom-com? She mentally ticked off the stages, they had gone from enemies to friends, he had broken through her harsh exterior and now they were up to the all important emotional break through. She spotted Dutchy sitting with some local children playing with the puppy. She cautiously approached and stood above him, he looked up at her and could tell she wanted to talk. He smiled at the kids and rose from the ground.

"Everything okay?"

She walked away from the kids, Dutchy followed.

"Kate?"

She folded her arms over her chest and turned to face him.

"I may have overreacted before..."

Dutchy let out a scoff and raised an eyebrow.

"That's your apology?"

She exhaled sharply ignoring his dig.

"No, I'm trying to tell you how I feel, you know, break the boundaries..."

A small smile crossed her face as she glanced in his direction .

"You said you never watched Grey's Anatomy..."

It was his turn to ignore her comment.

"Well, you were right about some of it..."

Kate looked over to him surprised by his admission.

"I mean, I don't have a split personality or anything, but most people don't know me, the real me..."

He walked in to a quiet area of the village, Kate chased after him and stood in front of him making him stop and look at her.

"Why?"

"Probably for the same reason as you, it's easier to put on a front, isn't it? act tough?"

He raised an eyebrow waiting for her response, she didn't dare confirm his assumption, but she knew all to well, it was easier. Her nostrils flared as she attempted to think of a neutral response.

"Why do you need to put on a front?"

"Well, why do you?"

She crossed her arms over her chest.

"You first!"

"First of all, I just want you to know I'm not after sympathy."

She placed a hand on her hip and pursed her lips together.

"I'm not handing any out..."

He sat on a rock and dragged his hands through his hair.

"Well, how often do you hear guys talk about their feelings?"

She rolled her eyes and scoffed, why did all guys think that feelings were bad, or a sign of weakness?

"What's that got to do with it?"

He let out an aggravated growl and stood up to confront her.

"Just, can you stop for a moment, I'm trying to be real with you..."

Kate was a startled by his tone, they both sat in silence for a moment. Dutchy looked over to her then back at the ground, he picked up a rock and tossed it from hand to hand.

"You really piss me off, you know?"

Kate's face dropped, was he really trying to connect with her by telling her she pisses him off?

"Excuse me?"

"I really feel like I can talk to you, but then you go and, I dunno, shut me back out. Does it even occur to you that I'm after a friend as much as you are?"

Kate hesitated for a moment, it never occurred to her, she thought he had plenty of friends.

"But I thought the crew were you're mates?"

"I mean they're a great bunch of blokes, but we don't traditionally sit around and talk about personal issues, but I feel we've been able to, well connect..."

Kate closed her eyes for a minute trying not to let the feeling of success read all over her face. She had done it, the emotional break through was eminent, her hard work was paying off. She opened her eyes and saw the desperate expression on his face, her heart sank, it didn't feel like she thought it would. She normally felt a flutter of excitement, the thrill of being able to nail the bag guy, but in this moment, all she felt was guilt. He glanced up at her to check she was still listening.

"Kate?"

She blinked a few times bringing her out of her head.

"Oh, sorry…"

He gripped the rock in his left hand, his knuckles turning white.

"You know, I can't tell if you genuinely want to be my friend sometimes, but the we have these moments where I feel that we truly connect. You make me want to open up, and I don't know if it because we're both hiding things, concealing feelings..."

Kate's ears pricked up at his last sentence.

"Hiding things? What do you mean?"

"It's not that I have to hide, it's just, I guess it's like you said, it's a front. I just have a lot of ah, umm, regrets? No, not regrets, guilt? I dunno, but sometimes I just feel empty and..."

Kate brow wrinkled, she really didn't expect him to have so many heartfelt things to say.

"What do you have to feel guilty about?"

Taking a deep breath in her fiddled with the fraying ends of his sleeves.

"Well, my parents owned a farm, and the drought hit them bad."

He hurled the rock he was playing with into the jungle and focused back onto the ground.

"My mum and I moved back to the city, the farm was going under and Dad was going to try and sell up and come later. He was a proud man, the farm had been in the family for generations, and deep down I knew he wasn't ever going to let it go."

Kate tilted her head a little not understanding where the story was going.

"A week or so later a neighbour noticed the tractor on the hill for several days, they went to inspect it and they found him sitting in it, he had a massive heart attack."

Kate's face dropped, she didn't expect his story to be so heartbreaking.

"Dutchy, I'm so sorry..."

"I was so angry at mum for making us leave, if we had stayed then maybe he wouldn't have been working so hard, or I would have been out there with him and I could have saved him."

"Dutchy, you can't blame yourself."

"Then 6 months later mum was diagnosed with breast cancer, it was quick, and with in 18 months I had lost both my parents. I was so hard on her, and, I felt like a terrible son for giving her so much grief. When I was sent to the gulf I felt relieved, in fact, I went in there thinking that it didn't matter if I didn't come back, I had no one to come back too. Then the whole boarding incident happened, I was determined not to let anyone else die on my watch, but my XO, he didn't see it coming, I didn't see it coming, but I should have, it was my job to keep him safe..."

Kate looked over to him, tears fell from both their eyes, she didn't know how to console him, but she knew had to continue her job, she moved closer and held his hand.

"Dutchy, I..."

"See, this is what I didn't want, I didn't want you to look at me like that."

Dutchy looked down at their intertwined hands and moved away, Kate took a deep breath in and reached for his hand again.

"You make me feel safe..."

Kate felt her heart skip a beat as he looked up to her, she couldn't believe what she was about to do. She leaned in close, their faces centimetres apart, Dutchy pulled back and focused on the ground.

"Kate, you don't want me, it's the sympathy you feel for me, not actual feelings."

She placed her other hand on his arm not allowing him to pull away.

"Dutchy, in the past couple of weeks you have been a better friend to me than anyone in my entire life, that's sad, I know. You bring out this side in me that I've never seen, that I've never felt, I feel, normal..."

He stood from the rock and closed his eyes.

"You know this can't happen right? Lets just go back to annoying each other, it's a lot easier..."

"Dylan..."

"Now all you see when you look at me is this pathetic person who can't handle their feelings..."

Kate stood there gobsmacked, she never would have guessed that he would be the one to reject her. She watched him as he walked off, she did feel sorry for him but if anything his story made her feel at ease, that on some level they were the same lost person.

Kate gave Dutchy his space for a few hours, she knew that he wasn't going to be responsive in his current state.

She wandered around the village attempting to figure out her next move. She stopped as she felt a scratch at her ankle, it was the puppy they had found earlier. She picked her up and gave her a scratch on the head.

"Have you got any ideas?"

She licked her nose, she rolled her eyes at herself.

"No, okay?"

She spotted Dutchy walking by himself, she ran over to him carrying the puppy.

"Dutchy..."

"X..."

"Ah, you okay?"

"Yeah, Fine..."

"You realise your doing exactly what you were calling me out on..."

Dutchy glanced over to her but didn't respond, she let out a grunt and held the puppy out in front of him.

"If you don't want talk to me talk to her, she doesn't have answers but her cute face helps."

He took the puppy from her and gave her a cuddle, Kate smiled and gave her a pat on the head.

"I wish she could come home with us, cheaper than therapy, huh?"

Dutchy stayed silent, Kate didn't want to push him further in fear that he would shut her out completely, she left him with his thoughts.

A few hours later she sat in her cabin going over her paperwork, Mike knocked on her door and poked his head in.

"Have you seen Dutchy?"

"Ah, no, not for a few hours…"

"He's not answering his phone, which isn't like him."

Kate felt responsible, she had pushed him, she shut her laptop and rose from her desk.

"I'll try giving him a call, umm, I can go for a wander and have a look for him…"

"Yeah, ah, take 2Dads, he's not on watch…"

She nodded and pulled her phone from her pocket and dialled his number, it went to message bank.

2Dads and Kate walked around the village, he cleared his throat to break the silence.

"Ah, did you two sort things out?"

"What do you mean?'

"Well, you know that he didn't mean that he didn't like you…"

"Yeah, I know…"

She didn't really want to discuss it and walked in the opposite direction.

"I'll just look over here…"

Kate walked in between some abandoned sheds and took out her phone and dialled his number again.

She heard a phone ring and peered into one of the sheds, she frowned a she saw Dutchy handed a man a crate and some money. He took his phone from his pocket and ignored her call, she tried to get a better look and leaned on the door, it creaked and she immediately ran in the other direction.

They returned to port 2 days later, they had barley spoken to each other in the past 48 hours. Kate knew it wasn't a good sign, she needed to up her game. She stood on deck watching the crew depart, waiting for Dutchy. Mike walked up behind her startling her.

"Hear the good news?"

"Yeah, we've earned some time off?"

"Yeah, go enjoy yourself!"

She sighed as Dutchy scurried off the ship.

"I will, you too, Sir..."

Kate tried to follow, she called out after him but he didn't stop. She hadn't confronted him about what she had seen, she didn't know how to, which was something she wasn't used to.

Her phone rang as she entered her house, chucking her bag on the table she pulled out her phone from her pocket.

"Sam, how'd you go?…Inheritance? That's what the trust was? What from? Oh, right yeah the family farm, was that all? Okay, only one you couldn't trace, thanks."

Kate grabbed her laptop and opened it, she didn't understand, Warren had told her the money was from an unknown source, that it was bribe money. It had only taken her 2 days to discover it wasn't, why couldn't he find the truth? She picked up her phone and messaged him.

He knocked on her door an hour later.

"See, I knew you needed me..."

He went to walk into the house but she stood in his path.

"Yeah, I need you to explain why you lied to me..."

"Huh?"

She folded her arms over her chest.

"The money he received was the money from selling his farm."

"No, it wasn't..."

"Yes, it was, I had Sam trace the deposit..."

Warren's body stiffened and stood he there speechless, Kate could see the cogs turn in his mind.

"Warren, all I want is the truth."

Kate stood close, she eyeballed in an attempt to intimidate him, he let out a scoff.

"Well, you have it, you have photos, you have reports about his behaviour."

"Yeah, but I was sent here to catch him in the act, and so far I haven't seen anything but a guy who cares about his crew and his job. You even made it too easy and he resisted."

He moved closer not swayed by her tone.

"Well, maybe you're not tying hard enough,! You're not succeeding in being his girlfriend, maybe you're just not girlfriend material..."

Kate clenched her jaw, it took ever ounce of strength not to punch him in the face. He knew the truth, the real reason it was hard for her to get close to anyone, and he was using it against her.

She shoved him out the door and slammed it in his face. Leaning against the door she rubbed her hands over her face and took a deep breath in trying to calm herself. What had she done? She had never lied to her team about information, she had protected Dutchy, and she didn't know why.

End Chapter 9.


	10. Chapter 10

Promise to Love Me, Even When You Hate Me

Chapter 10

An hour later Kate stood at Dutchy's front door trying to think of a way to get them back on track, she was going to have to apologise or else she had made a fool of herself for nothing. She lifted her hand to knock but stopped as she watched it shake uncontrollably. She shook her head and flexed her fingers trying to make it stop. She knocked three times and brushed off her dress as Dutchy opened the door.

"Oh, what are you doing here?"

She was about to speak when the door opened wider, a purple haired older woman stood in the doorway, she reminded Kate of someone's hip granny.

"Dylan, that's no way to greet anyone, little own a beautiful woman!"

She smacked him over the head and grabbed Kate's hand and pulled her into the house.

"I'm Frankie, and you are?"

Kate looked back at Dutchy who shook his head and shut the door.

"Oh, I'm Kate..."

Frankie's eyes lit up, and she grasped Kate's hand tighter.

"Oh, you're Kate, Dylan has been telling me all about you..."

Dylan's eyes widened as he glared at Frankie begging her to stop.

"Frankie!"

Frankie rolled her eyes and pulled Kate toward the table.

"Come, sit, I've just baked some scones..."

Kate sat down trying to make eye contact with Dutchy, but his eyes were firmly focused on the cup of coffee in front of him.

Frankie placed her hand on Kate's drawing her attention.

"So, you're Dylan's Boss, yeah?"

"Ah, kind of, there's the CO, he's the real boss..."

"Right, so why won't you just relax around my favourite boy here? He's so sweet, I know he looks like a bit of a, well, you know, macho, tough, pretty boy, but he really is a lovely person..."

Dutchy cleared his throat and grit his teeth slamming his hand on the table.

"Frankie! Stop!"

Frankie laughed and shoved the plate of scones towards him.

"You eat dear, while the girls have a serious talk."

He let out a grunt and sat there sulking like a child, he pulled the plate of scones towards him knowing he wasn't going to win. Frankie focused her attention back on Kate and smiled sweetly.

"So?"

"Frankie, we have rules on the ship..."

Frankie smirked as she placed a scone on a plate for Kate and handed it to her.

"So, what if there weren't any rules?"

Kate sighed as she took the plate from her.

"Frankie, look Dylan and I are friends…"

"Really? He seems to think that you don't want to be his friend."

Dutchy opened his mouth to object but Frankie picked up a scone from the pile and shoved it into his mouth, Kate couldn't help but giggle.

"Well, actually, he was the one that said that I wasn't interested, that I only felt sorry for him."

"And is that true?"

"No, I see the person he really is, well, I hope I see the person he is."

"Good..."

Frankie patted her hand and rose from the table.

"Well, I must be off, I hope to see more of you!"

Kate smiled and gave her a nod.

"Me too..."

Frankie kissed Dutchy on the forehead and pinched his cheek.

"Be nice..."

Frankie left leaving Kate and Dutchy at a silent stand still, Kate couldn't make eye contact with him, she fiddled with the spoon in the jam pot.

"Ah, who was that?"

Dutchy glanced up to her for a moment trying to gauge whether or not she was annoyed.

"Ah, she's my neighbour..."

Kate hesitated, she expected her to be a relation seeming she was so blunt.

"Oh, I thought she was like, your nana, or something?"

"Well, kinda, surrogate, she's claimed me as a grandson, but she's a good lady, I look out for her and she looks out for me."

There was another pause in the conversation, Kate glanced over to him and they caught each other's eye for a split second.

"Anyway, I came to apologise, and well, I dunno, I shouldn't have put you in that position, I'm your superior."

Dutchy let out a sigh and grabbed another scone and picked at it.

"So, I was right? You just felt sorry for me?"

She reached over and placed her hand on top of his.

"No, not at all, I just feel that I can talk to you…"

"So what are you saying? Because back on Samaru, I thought you were going to…"

Dutchy hesitated, he looked down at her hand on top of his confused by her actions. He was still concerned that her potential feelings for him were being swayed by his story. Kate took a deep breath in, she knew the only way to get him to trust her was to tell him her story, the whole story, the dark part of her life that made her the way she was.

"You shared something personal with me and I don't want you to keep thinking our connection is based on sympathy... I mean, it helps us understand each other, but it's not the reason for my feelings. A wise woman once said, boundaries don't keep other people out, they fence you in. So you can waste your life drawing lines or you can live your life crossing them."

Dutchy grinned knowing the quote, he interrupted her and continued.

"But, if you're willing to throw caution to the wind, and take a chance then view from the other side… is spectacular."

He dipped his finger in the cream and dotted it on the end of her nose, Kate rolled her eyes and wiped it off, he squeezed her hand and glanced back at her.

"So, how do we let down the boundaries?"

Kate exhaled sharply as she placed her scone back on the plate, she looked up to Dutchy who's eyes were firmly fixated on her.

"Well, I could start with the whole truth about my ex…"

Dutchy's eyes darted around the room, what more could there be? He stabbed her, that was traumatic enough.

"Kate, you don't have too…"

"No, I want to… so, I wasn't the real target, my father was…"

She didn't know if she could bring herself to say it, Dutchy moved closer and gave her a reassuring smile.

"He, umm, my..."

"Kate, it's okay, if you don't..."

"He killed my parents..."

She blurted it out as if it was nothing, Dutchy sat there frozen, he had no idea how to respond, of even if he should. Kate continued seeing he was lost for words.

"I was only 22, he dated me to get to my dad, who was in the navy. I came home and found them, he was waiting for me…"

Dutchy's mind was still trying to comprehend her previous statement. Kate placed her hand over her collarbone and traced her finger over her scar. There was silence for a moment, she tried to compose herself, if she was going to go this far she needed to make sure it hooked him completely.

"I tell myself that he couldn't kill me because on some level he did really care for me, but who knows."

Tears rolled down her cheeks, Dutchy slowly reached out and cupped her cheek with his hand. She looked into his eyes knowing he felt something, but she needed to make sure, beyond a doubt, that he would fall for her, she exhaled and continued.

"After Daniel, I found it incredibly hard to trust anyone. I attempted a relationship a couple of years later, we were friends, we actually worked together, so I thought it would be the safest option. Deep down I knew that I wasn't ready, but this guy, he was sweet and he adored me. I thought, if I can't love this guy who would do anything for me, then who could I love? Anyway, I couldn't do it, and I let it go on for too long. I broke it off 6 months later, I hurt him, he was so angry. I completely understood, and I didn't blame him, it was my fault, but I really didn't mean to let it get that far. I just, I have never been able to trust my judgement since. I don't know what it is about you, but you make me feel like… well… me, it sounds stupid but…"

Dutchy was still shocked by her story, he wanted to hug her and never let her go, but instead he shifted his chair closer and gently placed his hand on her arm.

"Kate, I feel the same way. I don't know how to explain it, I mean is this crazy? We barely know each other, but I feel like I can be honest with you, and I don't know why, no matter how much you annoy me…"

He glanced up at her smiling, she could feel her cheeks burn.

"Dylan, I don't really understand how I'm feeling but…"

Kate rose from her chair feeling self-conscious, she had never had to delve this deep, it was harder than she thought. She dragged her hands over her face and through her hair.

"Maybe this is crazy?"

She glanced back over to him hoping that he would take the bait. He walked over to her not breaking eye contact, Kate's heart raced as he brushed the stray hairs away from her eyes.

"Kate, I know that there's a lot a stake here, but I know you wouldn't be saying these things or even thinking these things unless you felt something… unless you thought I felt something."

He swallowed hard and reached out and intertwined his hand with hers, she could hear her heart beat as she slowly leaned towards him. Their lips met, and a shiver ran down her body, she sunk into the kiss, it felt so natural. For a second she got lost in the moment, she felt a lump form in her throat, she had never felt this way kissing someone before, she panicked and pulled away. She opened her eyes and placed her fingers at her lips.

"Sorry, I..."

"It's okay..."

She dropped her head slightly, Dutchy held his grip on her hand.

"Dutchy, I can't promise you anything, and I think we're forgetting the rules…"

"I get it, this is a huge step, but Kate, if this is, well, something, and I think it is, I think we should give it a real shot and we'll figure it out as we go."

He gave her hand a squeeze and walked into the kitchen, Kate took a few deep breaths in, she would normally be over the moon, but again, her victory didn't feel quite right. She placed a smile on her face as Dutchy returned holding an envelope.

"I was actually going to come and see you today anyway…"

He handed her the envelope, she opened it and held the photo close to her face. Dutchy smiled as she inspected the photo closer, it was a picture of a man holding a puppy.

"My apology..."

Kate scrunched her face still not understanding the connection.

"She's coming home…"

"What?"

"I arranged for her to be transported back to Australia, she'll have to spend some time in quarantine, but then she'll be ours…"

Kate glanced back down to the photo then back to Dutchy not sure whether she should thank him or curse his name.

"Dylan, what are we going to do with a dog when we're out at sea?"

"Frankie has offered to look after her."

"So, we have a dog together? That's not taking it slow…"

Dutchy winced hoping it wasn't going to be too much.

"Well, I didn't really mean it like that, but..."

Kate shook her head at herself realising the connection with what she saw on Samaru.

"So that's why you were with the guy at the sheds with the crate and the money?"

Kate froze and mentally kicked herself, she had admitted to spying on him. Dutchy frowned a little and titled his head.

"Ah, how did you know that?"

"Oh, yeah, sorry, I thought something dodgy was going down, then I realised it was you and was embarrassed."

"Right…"

Kate went to walk away but Dutchy pulled her back towards him.

"So, we're really doing this?"

She smiled nervously.

"Let's not put a label on it, I don't do well with labels..."

Her phone vibrated in her pocket, she pulled it out and checked the senders ID.

"Ah, I've got some stuff to do this arvo but…"

"Maybe we can hang out tomorrow, maybe even take you out on a date?"

Kate swallowed hard, this was the part she hadn't thought through. Acting venerable and standoffish wasn't hard because that was the real her, but now she needed to participate in a real relationship, something she knew nothing about.

"Ah, yeah, sure…"

He leaned in giving her a kiss on the lips, it surprised her and she flinched a little. Dutchy tried not to feel hurt by her reaction, he needed the remember the trauma she had been through and not overwhelm her.

"Sorry, Kate…"

"No, it's okay, really."

She tried to put on a convincing smile, something else she was going to have to get used to, random acts of affection. She headed to the door and turned before leaving

"I'll, umm, I'll talk to you later, okay?"

She didn't wait for a response, she raced to her car, scared that he was going to kiss her again. She pulled her phone from her pocket and dialed Shaun's phone number.

"You wanted me to call?"

"Holy crap, you blow my mind! I don't know how you did it, well actually, I do, cos I've been listening. But you have managed to go from enemies to friends to lovers in 3 weeks, you cease to amaze me! You're a dark horse, Kate. You watch, in another 4 weeks he'll be telling you he loves you…"

Kate closed her eyes, she hoped not, she actually felt terrible about deceiving him, but she couldn't let anyone know that.

"Ah, yeah, I can't believe you didn't think I could do this!"

"Yup, you can say I told you so, but now the real work begins. Make sure you get a copy of his hard drive, try and find if he's got a home office or something, filing cabinet, a safe…"

"Yeah, yeah, just slow down, Shaun."

"Well, I'll let you get on with your day, big date tomorrow! Great work!"

Kate hung up the phone and leaned her head on the steering wheel and exhaled.

"Shit…"

The next morning Kate awoke to the message tone of her phone, she rolled on to her side and lifted her phone, the message contained a picture of the puppy and a message from Dutchy.

"She's landed…"

Kate smiled and replaced the phone on her bedside table and rolled back over, it beeped again, she ignored it, but it beeped again. Letting out a groan she sat up and picked it up again, she squinted as the bright light met her eyes.

"We have to think of a name…"

"Thor?"

"Lightening?"

She laughed and shook her head as she replied.

"They're not very girly…"

"Well, let me in and we can brainstorm…"

She frowned reading the message, a knock at her door startled her, she threw back the covers and ran down the stairs and swung open the door.

"Don't you have anyone else to annoy?"

A huge grin crossed his face as she pushed past her into her house.

"Nope…"

He flopped on to her couch making himself comfortable.

"So, you got a better suggestion?"

She shook her head as she closed the door and made her way into the lounge room.

"Err…"

"Okay, well we can think about it, but in the meantime we need to get supplies…"

"Supplies?"

"Yeah, puppy things…"

He grabbed her hands and dragged her out he door towards the door, she put on the breaks and stopped.

"Can I at least get dressed first?"

They wandered through the aisles of their local pet store, Dutchy chucked every type of toy and treat into the trolley.

"Ah, do we really need all of this?"

"Yes, do you want it to destroy everything in the house?"

"Hey, it's staying at your house, so no skin off my nose..."

Dutchy walked over to the rack of dog coats and flicked through the garments.

"Omg, look at these!"

He held up a fleecy pink jacket, Kate rolled her eyes and snatched the coat away from him and placed it back on the rack.

"No!"

He picked it back up from the rack and waved it in her face.

"But look how cute it is!"

She rolled her eyes and placed it back on the rack.

"We live in Cairns, it doesn't need a winter jacket."

A sales assistant approached and smiled politely.

"Do you guys need a hand with anything?"

Dutchy glanced over to Kate and grinned.

"Ah, so we're adopting a puppy and we need everything..."

"Cool, is this your first?"

Kate frowned a little at her use of words.

"You make it sound like we're having a baby…"

"Well, a lot of couples get a dog before they start a family, kinda like a test run I guess…"

Kate laughed nervously.

"Really?"

2 hours later Kate and Dutchy arrived back at his house, they walked in the front door carrying multiple bags.

"That was exhausting!"

Kate flopped onto the couch and leaned herself against the arm,

Dutchy plonked himself next to her. Kate couldn't help but shift her body, she shook her head as she realised what she was doing.

"Sorry, I guess this is gonna take some getting used to…"

"Are you sure that you want this?"

"Dutchy, I…"

"Sorry, Kate, I know it's hard sneaking around, but I don't wanna put any more pressure on you…"

"You're not, I put pressure on myself…"

Dutchy picked up the remote and flicked over to Netflix, Kate shuffled closer and slowly leaned against his shoulder. He smiled and wrapped his arm around her.

"What season are you up to?"

Her eyes lit up as she looked over to the TV screen.

"So you're finally going to admit that you watch it?"

He rolled his eyes and let out a groan.

"Yeah, okay, it's my dirty little secret, are you happy?"

Kate smiled satisfied.

"Ecstatic… and, Season 5…"

"Seriously? Me too!"

She raised an eyebrow not believing him.

"Would I lie to you?"

Kate stiffened, she didn't know, Dutchy noticed her strange expression.

"Ah, the answer you're looking for is no…"

"Oh, of course… now shh, and press play!"

He squeezed her a little and wriggled his body further into the couch to get comfortable.

He pressed play, the episode began with Meredith waiting for Derek in her house of candles, Kate let out a sigh.

"Oh my god, that house of candles thing…"

Dutchy let out a scoff at her swooning.

"Seriously? Never pictured you as a mushy, giant gesture of love kind of person."

Kate wrinkled her nose, she normally wasn't, but this go to her. She gave him a playful shove and leaned back into his nook. Her phone dug into her side as she tried to get cozy, she fished it out and chucked it on the coffee table.

Meredith waited for Derek, the candles slowly started to go out one by one, he didn't return. Meredith ran into the hospital, Christina and the Chief stopped her, Christina grabbed her by the shoulders.

"You need to prepare yourself…"

Kate gasped as he body tensed up, Dutchy let out a laugh as he felt her hand grasp his leg.

"No, don't tell me!"

He watched her face as it morphed though the stages of emotion as the scene played out, Derek lay bloodied on a gurney as Miranda attempted CPR on him. Kate's eyes widened and she let out a pained squeal as Miranda stopped compressions.

"You can't be serious…"

Kate felt Dutchy's eyes on her and glanced up to meet his intrigued stare.

"What?"

"You surprise me every day. Who knew below the tough unforgiving XO there was a..."

She glared in his direction.

"Chose your words wisely Petty Officer..."

"A girl..."

Kate let out a grunt of disapproval, her eyes focused back on the TV as Meredith woke from her dream, she let out a sigh of relief and clutched her chest.

"Thank god!"

Her phone beeped, Dutchy let out a groan and reached for it.

"Don't tell me, we've been..."

He glanced at the sender ID and frowned.

"Shaun?"

For a moment Kate had forgotten about her other life, she bolted upright and attempted to snatch the phone from his grip, he pulled it back out of her reach.

"Who's Shaun? And how does he know we're watching Grey's Anatomy?"

A million excuses swirled around in her mind but none connected with her mouth, she looked back towards Dutchy, he sat there staring at her, waiting for her answer.

"Kate?"

End of Chapter 10.


	11. Chapter 11

Promise to Love Me, Even When You Hate Me.

Chapter 11.

_Think, Kate, think! _

Dutchy's eyes widened as he waited for her to answer.

"Kate?"

"Ah, umm…"

She rubbed her hands over her face trying to remember the story she had told.

"He's umm, he's one of the guys from Daniel's crew…"

"Another one?"

Dutchy stood from the couch in a panic and ran to the window, he darted from one to another looking outside for any sign of him. Kate rushed to his side and pulled him back to the couch, they sat and she grabbed the phone from his grip.

"It's okay, Dutchy…"

He wrinkled his face not believing her.

"Kate, seriously, you need to go to the police."

"I can't, you just need to trust me, they won't do anything…"

Dutchy stared at her in total bewilderment not understanding.

"What?"

"Look, I know how it sounds, but they just show up and make sure I see them, make sure I know they're there, but they never do anything…"

Dutchy threw his hands in the air unable to see reason in her answer.

"That sounds totally crazy, this isn't a movie, Kate, this is real life…"

She crossed her arms over her chest, she didn't need to be reminded that her reality was insane.

"I'm well aware of that, Dutchy!"

They sat there in silence, Kate didn't need for them to fight again, she had just got him where she needed him. She sighed and tried to change the subject.

"Hey, it could be worse, I could have someone else on the side…"

Dutchy scoffed, he knew what she was trying to do, Kate nudged him.

"Yeah, I know, it's ridiculous, like I'd have time for another boyfriend."

He was frustrated with her secrecy but couldn't help but smile.

"Boyfriend? I'm your boyfriend, I thought you didn't like labels?"

Kate's body stiffened, she hadn't used the term boyfriend in a long time.

Dutchy saw the anxiousness in her eyes and gave her a mocking nudge.

"No, it's okay... well, actually, it's not. Kate, please don't hide things from me, after all the things we have told each other..."

"Exactly, then you should trust me when I say it's under control, anyway, can you just shh, I'm missing it..."

Kate lay her head back on Dutchy's shoulder hoping that he'd drop it, her hear beat a million miles an hour. Shaun was right, it was getting harder and harder to keep track of all the stories. She closed her eyes for a moment trying to calm herself. Dutchy exhaled sharply and wrapped his arms back around her.

3 episodes later Kate had fallen asleep on the couch, but Dutchy's mind still raced about Shaun and her situation. He took out his phone and searched for any articles about Kate's parents being killed, he frowned as her scrolled through the results, there was nothing. He didn't know her exes last name, so he couldn't search that. She began to stir as he mumbled to himself, she sat up rubbing her eyes.

"Everything okay?"

He locked his phone and placed it back on the coffee table.

"Ah, yeah, I, umm, I'm just a bit bothered about these guys, Kate. I just don't understand."

Kate crossed her legs beneath her and sighed, she knew that in order for him to stop asking about it she knew she had to give him some more details.

"What do you want to know?"

"Can I ask how he got involved?"

She broke eye contact and picked at her nail beds, should she tell him the truth or another lie?

"Ah, he umm, he uncovered some dodgy sailors and began to investigate them. He didn't realise what he was getting into, the drug ring sent Daniel so they wouldn't be able to connect the murder to the group. I never found out what he got out of it but…"

Tears welled in Kate's eyes, Dutchy felt guilty for asking but it was too serious not to discuss.

"But why did they target your mother, and you?"

Kate took a moment to find her words.

"Collateral damage, well, that's what the cops said he said. I was just, in the way…"

Dutchy winced, he still had questions but was unsure to whether to continue.

"So, I would have thought they'd stop at nothing so you couldn't say anything."

"Yeah, well, that's what I was talking about before, the unspoken rules. Daniel wouldn't name names else he would be a target, that's why he got the maximum, he refused to cooperate."

"So, why can't I find anything about this?"

Her eyes darted up to meet his.

"Huh? You're checking up on me?"

He grasped her hand in his in an attempt to show support.

"No, it's just, I want you to be safe..."

She snatched her hand back annoyed.

"I am safe, I've been looking after myself for 10 years, Dutchy, I don't need protection."

"I'm not saying you need it, I'm just saying that you don't always need to deal with everything on your own, that's all."

Kate let out a grunt and rose from the couch feeling patronised.

"They're leaving anyway, case closed… anyway, I better go."

Dutchy worried that he had pushed too far, that she was leaving because he had made her feel uncomfortable.

"Are you sure? It's late, I'll sleep on the couch, you can take the bed."

"No, it's okay... I'll see you tomorrow..."

She went to walk off but Dutchy pulled on her arm not wanting her to leave on a bad note. She fell into his lap, he smiled and brushed his hand over her cheek and leaned in and kissed her. She pulled away and looked into his eyes for a moment but then kissed him back.

The next morning Dutchy walked into Navcom, he sat at a free desk and glanced around to check if anyone was watching him. He moved in front of a computer and opened the personnel files and searched for Kate's details. He frowned as he scanned the page, the details were basic, name, age, current base and rank, hometown, blood type. He jumped as he felt a hand on his shoulder, he quickly clicked out of the program and swivelled around on the chair.

"Oh, Boss…"

Mike sat down next him and dragged the mouse towards him and opened the database, he raised an eyebrow as he saw Kate's name in the search field.

"And why are you checking the X's file?"

Dutchy's eyes darted around the room trying to think of an excuse.

"Ah…"

"What's going on Dutchy? You guys seemed to be getting along…"

"Ah, it's not that, Boss, I'm actually…"

He stopped himself, unsure of he should tell Mike the whole story.

"Did you ever hear of a guy in the Navy who was killed by a drug smuggler in his own home?"

Mike glanced over at him strangely not expecting that to be the subject of his question.

"Ah, why?"

"Well, do you?"

Mike thought about it for a minute and shook his head.

"Umm, maybe something when I was going through ADFA, but, umm, why?"

"Well, umm, it was Kate's father…"

"Oh…"

He sighed and scribbled on the notepad avoiding Mike's questioning glare.

"I just thought if I could find her file then I would know more, she doesn't want to talk about it, which I get, but…"

"Dutchy, do you really think it's a good idea to pry into the X's private life?"

He knew it wasn't, but if they were going to be in a relationship he needed to know the truth, but he couldn't use that reason with Mike. Mike's brow furrowed thinking of his conversations with Kate.

"Wait a minute, the X told me her parents lived in Perth… I mean, that was the first day, maybe she made it up cos she wasn't ready to talk about it…"

"Do you think Commander White will know?"

"Dutchy, I highly recommend that you drop this…"

Dutchy exhaled loudly and rose from the chair.

"Yeah, I guess you're right…"

Kate knocked on Frankie's front door, she hated that she was using innocent people but she needed to find the truth. Frankie swung open the door and a large smile appeared on her face seeing Kate.

"Kate! What a lovely surprise…"

"Hi Frankie, I actually needed a favour, I don't think Dylan is home, you wouldn't happen to have a spare key to his place would you?"

"Ah, I do, but I'm only supposed to use it for emergencies…"

"I actually wanted to surprise him and make him breakfast…"

Frankie's eyes widened full of excitement, she immediately grabbed her purse and fished the key out.

"Do you smell smoke?"

Kate frowned and stuck her nose in the air.

"Ah, no…"

Frankie rolled her eyes and passed Kate the key.

"I smell smoke, I think you'd better go check it out…"

Frankie gave her a wink, Kate smiled and gave her a hug.

"FYI, we're just friends…"

Kate walked back down her front path, Frankie stood at her door shaking her head, she called out after her.

"I better get an invite to the wedding…"

Kate let out a scoff and headed over to Dutchy's house, she swung open the door and stood there for a moment feeling uneasy. She closed her eyes trying to get herself into work mode, taking a deep breath in she headed into his bedroom. She rummaged around in a few drawers being careful not to disturb too much, but she found nothing. She lay herself flat on the floor and peeked under the bed and shook her head, nothing.

She let out a groan as she hauled herself off the floor and walked over to the wardrobe and flung open the doors. Shuffling the coat hangers aside she scanned for any signs of a safe or a lockbox, but again, nothing. Walking back into the lounge she spotted his laptop on the coffee table and ran over and opened it as she sat on the couch. She froze and took a sharp breath in as the background was a picture of them, she shook her head ignoring the guilt and opened the internet search history. Her eyes examined the results, she frowned seeing he had searched multiple times for information on her and her family. She clicked on a few links and sighed with relief as the results revealed nothing. She found his email program and searched through the subjects, not a suspect email in sight.

She flinched hearing the front door unlock, she slammed the lid of the computer shut and ran into the kitchen, She flung open for cupboards and hid herself out of sight. Dutchy cautiously walked into the kitchen hearing strange noises.

"Hello?"

Kate pop up from behind the kitchen bench holding a wok looking apprehensive.

"Surprise?"

He let out a laugh and walked into the kitchen.

"What are you doing here?"

Kate fiddled around in one of the drawers avoiding his gaze.

"I thought it was my turn to do something nice, I was trying to cook you breakfast…"

He glanced at the wok in her hand.

"With a wok?"

Kate looked at the wok in her hand and place it back in the cupboard.

"Well, it's not my fault I can't find anything in your boy kitchen."

Dutchy laughed and opened the cupboard opposite her to reveal a perfectly organised pots and pan area.

"I'm not just a great buffer…"

"Oh, so you're a chefo too?"

Dutchy shrugged as he took out a pan and spun it around in his hand.

"I've been known to sail through, and cook up a storm, at the same time…"

Kate rolled her eyes and sat at the bench.

"Okay, and for that terrible joke, you're cooking…"

Dutchy walked over to the fridge and took out the eggs.

"So, how d'you get in here, anyway?"

"Ah, Frankie…"

He shook his head and placed the pan on the stove to heat up, he turned and leaned on the bench towards her.

"So, have you been through my medicine cabinet and my bedside drawers? What have you discovered about me?"

Kate couldn't help but look guilty, Dutchy laughed and walked around to her side of the bench and gave her a hug.

"It's okay, I know you can't help it. But, just to let you know, I don't have any secrets. I'm pretty boring…"

He turned back to the stove and cracked the eggs into the pan, she smiled as she watched him seamlessly make his way around the kitchen, like a well-oiled cooking machine. For a moment she forgot who and where she was, for a moment she was normal, just a girl watching her boyfriend cook breakfast.

Dutchy turned back around and waved a hand in her face snapping her out of her daydream.

"Earth to Kate…"

"Sorry…"

"Where d'you go?"

"Nowhere, err, just thinking how hungry I am…"

She was grateful for the knock at the door, she got up and answered it forgetting she wasn't at her house. She swung open the door and watched as 2Dads face twitched.

"X! Sorry, wasn't expecting it to be you…"

2Dads looked around for any signs of Dutchy.

"Ah, is Dutchy here?"

"Oh, of course, come in, you're here early…"

It was exactly what he was thinking but about her, they walked into the kitchen, Dutchy was serving breakfast.

"Hey! Want some breakfast?"

Kate headed to the bathroom, 2Dads waited for the door to close and pulled Dutchy towards him.

"What's she doing here?"

Dutchy continued to serve the plates undeterred by his question.

"What do you mean? We're friends…"

"Yeah, but it's like eight in the morning…"

"Ah, yeah, that's why I'm making breakfast…"

"Did she stay over?"

Dutchy laughed and offered him a plate.

"Ah, no, what are you talking about?"

"Okay, just checking, I mean, I know you're friends now, but that would just be plain weird."

Dutchy tried his hardest not to look offended, 2Dads stepped back from Dutchy as Kate returned from the bathroom, she cleared her throat trying to think of something to say.

"So, what's happening?"

"Oh, some of us guys are going fishing, we just wanted to see if Dutchy wanted to go…"

Dutchy glanced over to Kate feeling a little bad about the invitation while she was there.

"Ah, yeah, Kate, you wanna come?"

Kate glanced over to 2Dads who looked nervous.

"Oh, no that's okay, you guys go…"

2Dads felt a little bad, maybe he should make more of an effort too seeming Dutchy had been able to form a friendship with her.

"Nah, come along, X…"

She waived her hands in the air dismissing him.

"No, it's okay.. you guys go, it's fine…"

Dutchy stepped towards Kate and leaned in.

"Are you sure?"

She stepped back a little feeling like he was too close in front of 2Dads.

"Yeah, go!"

"Catch up with you later, but stay and eat…"

She grabbed the plate from the bench and opened the top drawer for a fork.

"Oh, yeah, I'm not wasting this food!"

10 minutes later Dutchy walked out of his bedroom wearing his fishing gear, 2Dads exited first and Dutchy turned and blew her a kiss as he shut the door.

He got into the passenger's side and looked over to 2Dads wondering what he was waiting for.

"Err, are we going?"

2Dads turned to face him and raised an eyebrow.

"You're letting her just hang in your place?"

"Yeah, why not?"

"I dunno, it's just such a girlfriend thing to do…"

"2Dads, do you remember what happened last time when we were discussing the X?"

"Yeah?"

"So, shut up!"

Kate paced around Dutchy's living room, her phone to her ear.

"There's nothing here… don't believe me? Come look for yourself…"

She jumped as there was a knock at the front door.

"Kate?"

The voice sounded familiar, she cautiously opened the door peeking through the gap, it was Shaun.

"Seriously?"

She swung the door open looking unimpressed, she smirked and shrugged.

"What? You said come look for yourself?"

He pushed his way past her, she sat on the couch while Shaun searched the house. 30 minutes later he walked back into the lounge room and sat beside her.

"Well, so far he's clean, but it doesn't mean there isn't something…"

He reached for the laptop, but she pulled it away from him.

"I've already looked on there…"

He frowned and pulled it back towards him and opened it.

"Yeah, but it won't hurt if I…"

He stopped seeing the background photo, a large grin crossed his face and flipped the laptop around to face her.

"He's smitten, isn't he?"

Kate shrugged trying not to let it get to her, he nudged her and shook his head.

"You're a surprise… anyway, we're still trying to track that last deposit, and trying to get through the red tape to talk to the witness. If nothing comes out of that we may have to do something else to test him…"

Shaun plugged an USB into the laptop and transferred the contents of the hard drive.

"Just in case…"

"So, what happens if we can't get anything?"

"Well, we'll take it higher and they'll make a decision, but if there's a witness, we'll need an official statement. He didn't want to make one if he didn't need to that's why we're were doing all this. But, we may just keep you here for a bit longer, in case anything else develops. You don't mind do you?"

She shook her head, Shaun placed the laptop back on the coffee table and unplugged the USB.

"But, just be careful, Kate. I get a feeling you're hoping he's innocent and generally it doesn't end the way we want it…"

"No, it's more that _if_ he's innocent I don't want to, well, I don't think it's right to persecute an innocent man."

Shaun glanced from Kate to the background picture on the laptop, he hoped that she wasn't getting soft. Kate could read him like a book, she knew she needed to change the subject.

"So, umm, after all of this…"

"I know, I know, you've been pestering me for some leave…"

"Well, I think I deserve it!"

He gave her a pat on the shoulder as he rose from the couch.

"You do, after we charge him… I'll be in touch…"

End of Chapter 11.


	12. Chapter 12

Promise To Love Me, Even When You Hate Me.

Chapter 12

As days went by Kate felt increasingly guilty about searching Dutchy's house, she had avoided him for a few days in fear that her guilt would overcome her and she would give herself away.

She had been able to avoid being in his house for 8 days, opting for quick coffees and lunches out an about. Anytime she came close to being in his house she felt anxious, like it was judging her, it knew she was betraying him. She knew Dutchy was beginning to suspect something was up, the more she resisted the more plan he made. Every time she saw him it made her second guess all of her decisions, all of her actions, which she would never do with any of her other targets. The so called evidence wasn't adding up either, she couldn't even rely on that to ease her mind.

Worst of all, she was afraid that her fake feelings weren't actually fake. All she could see was a sweet, kind, caring man, not the scheming criminal that everyone was saying he was. She had to suck it up and put on her game face, remember why she did what she did.

It was the early hours of the morning and Kate was fast asleep, her dreams were interrupted by persistent knocking on her door. She grabbed her pillow and placed it over her head letting out a groan.

"No! Go away!"

The knocking continued, she flung back to covers with a huff and glanced at her watch, it was four twenty three am. Who ever was at her door was going to cop it, rubbing her hands over her face she stomped down the stairs. Flicking on the lights to stood at the door and called out.

"Who is it?"

"Guess.."

She frowned, she knew the voice, it was Dutchy. She flung open the door looking unimpressed, Dutchy smiled and looked extra cheery.

"Morning!"

She let out another groan and ran her hands through her tangled hair.

"It's barely morning, do you realise its like four am? What are you doing here?"

He nodded and looked at his watch as he stepped into her house.

"Actually, it's nearly four thirty, and to answer your question, we're going on an adventure…"

She slammed the door closed and folder her arms across her chest, she heard him laugh on the other side of the door and he swung back open.

"C'mon, get dressed, you're going to love it."

She stood there not moving, her arms still crossed defensively over her chest, Dutchy threw his head back and pushed her toward the stairs.

"Just go get dressed in something, umm, active!"

Kate stomped up the stairs, a few minutes later she stomped back down dressed in work out gear.

"I hate you…"

After 60 minutes of climbing up the mountain, over large boulders and trying not to fall down steep steps, Kate had had enough. She wiped the sweat from her brow and flicked it towards the ground.

"Okay, there better be chocolate after this..."

Dylan stood in top of a large rock and smirked, he reached for her hand. She reluctantly obliged, and he pulled her up to his level, she glanced around and gasped.

"Welcome to Windin Falls..."

Placing her hands on her hips Kate caught her breath and scoured the view forgetting her irritation.

"Dylan, this is amazing."

Kate went to step off the rock, her foot slipped on the moss causing her to stumble. Dutchy wrapped his arms around her preventing her from falling.

"Woah... I'm not trying to sweep you off your feet or anything but you're making it too easy!"

Kate grabbed on to his shoulders to steady herself and blushed.

They carefully climbed down the rock and sat on the water's edge, Dutchy plonked his backpack in front of her.

"Your reward…"

Kate wrinkled her face looking at the bag then back up to him, he rolled his eyes and pushed it towards her.

"Just open it…"

She cautiously unzipped the backpack, a pink balloon floated out of the bag and bobbed around in her face.

"Happy birthday!"

Kate moved the balloon aside staring at him gob smacked.

"How did you know?"

He winked at he as he unpacked the contents of the backpack.

"A boyfriend should know his girlfriend's birthday…"

Kate attempted to cover her nervousness with a smile as he poured them a cup of coffee. They sat in silence sipping on their coffee as they watched the sunrise, Kate leaned back on the rock and sighed. Dutchy glanced over to her wanting to ask her about their current status, she had let the boyfriend/girlfriend thing slide, so he could only assume they were okay, but he needed confirmation.

"So, is everything okay? With us?"

Kate had been waiting for him to confront her, she sat back up to meet his concerned eyes.

"We're fine, I guess I was just a bit overwhelmed…"

"Kate, you have to promise to talk to me, if you're feeling like this I need to know. I'm fine with giving you some space if you need it…"

Kate cursed his name, why did he have to be so understanding?

"Thanks…"

Dutchy rummaged around in the bag and pulled out an envelope and handed it to her.

"But wait, there's more."

She raised an eyebrow and took the envelope, she pulled out a gift certificate.

"It's a years worth of chocolate, they a new type to your door every week. I was trying to figure out a way to get you pasta for a year, but there's no service for that…"

"Pasta?"

"Yeah, remember when we were driving to Townsville, and I was making you pick things, you said Pasta, Chocolate and Sunrises."

Kate bit her bottom lip in an attempt to hold back the tears, it was the sweetest thing anyone had ever done for her. Suddenly, her breathing became shallow, her heart felt like it was going to burst out of her chest. She lept up and paced around trying to calm herself, Dutchy followed concerned about her reaction.

She leaned herself against a tree trying to catch her breath, Dutchy rubbed her back attempting to reassure her.

"Are you okay?"

She placed her hand over her heart trying to calm herself.

"This is too much, this is not slow…"

Dutchy winced, maybe he should have waited seeming she had already admitted that she was overwhelmed.

"I'm sorry, I was just trying to show you that we're not all bad…"

"I know, Dutchy, it's just a lot, I'm not used to the attention, or the…"

"The what?"

She looked into his eyes trying to find the words.

"The feelings…"

She quickly walked away and sat on a nearby rock, she focused on the cascading waterfall, it was mesmerising. Dutchy cautiously sat beside her and gently placed his hand on hers.

"Is that all that's on your mind?"

Kate didn't respond and continued to stare into the falls.

"Is this how you pictured your life?"

Dutchy turned his head to look at her, it was an odd thing to say in the moment.

"Ah, no, but I don't see that as a negative. I mean, wouldn't it be boring if your life turned out exactly like you planned? Where's the fun in that?"

She looked over to him for a split second then back to the water.

"I guess, so, you've never done anything you regret?"

He shifted closer hoping he could get her to open up.

"I think that's a different topic entirely. But, regrets can shape us, help us grow… So, I'm assuming that you've got a few?"

"You haven't?"

"You first."

Kate let out a scoff and tossed a pebble into the water.

"I'm a rule follower…"

"So, your regret in life is following the rules?"

She couldn't answer without having to explain, Dutchy was puzzled by her silence.

"But the Navy is all about rules... why did you join?"

"Ah, I guess at first it was out of spite, I know that sounds terrible but when I told my mum she laughed at me. She couldn't picture her little girl doing a man's job she said. And I guess I have a bit of a temper when it comes to people judging me, well actually, I assume they are."

Dutchy smiled in her direction, finally something real. Kate shifted on the rock and turned her body to face him.

"Can I ask you about you time in the gulf, how you saved your crew..."

It was Dutchy's turn to break eye contact, it was never his favourite subject, he hated the hero title.

"What about it?"

"How did you do it? I mean, risk your life, weren't you scared?"

"Yeah, but they were my friends, I couldn't just leave them. I'm sure others would do the same… but it cost someone else their life…"

Kate could see that he wasn't comfortable talking about it, she changed the subject.

"Well anyway, I'm assuming you want a family someday? Well, according to the size of your house?"

Dutchy hesitated at the sudden and strange topic change, he shrugged and sighed.

"I know it seems silly thinking about that now, I mean, I could get shipped back to the gulf. But I'd like to think that one day I'd take a desk job and have a normal life..."

It's exactly what Kate wanted too, they had a lot in common, and she hated that. She didn't understand how could she could have such a connection with someone who was supposed to be bad?

"What about you? Family or career?"

Kate picked at the moss on the rock, right now it was career, but not the career that he knew about, she didn't want to talk about something that she knew she couldn't have.

"When did this get so serious?"

She shoved him not realising he wasn't concentrating, he lost his balance and fell into the water. She burst out laughing, he resurfaced and wiped the water from his face.

"Oh, you're asking for it!"

Dutchy climbed out of the lagoon and pulled off his shirt, Kate couldn't help but stare at his chiseled body. He lunged for her but she escaped his grasp, she attempted to dodge him but he grabbed her and wrapped his arms around her and chucked her into the water. He bombed in next to her, splashing her as she resurfaced. She shook her head trying to remove the water from her eyes, Dutchy swam over to her and smirked.

"Now we're even!"

Kate couldn't bear his gaze on her, she was so torn, she felt a genuine connection with him but she couldn't be falling for him. She quickly moved away from him, Dutchy was confused by yet another strange reaction.

"Kate?"

She nodded and swam to the edge of the lagoon, she rested her arms on the edge holding her in place. Dutchy swam up behind her, she turned, their faces were so close that she could feel his breath. He reached out and lifted her head with his index finger and looked deep into her eyes, she couldn't bear to meet his gaze afraid that he would be able read her mind.

"Kate, what's going on?"

Kate sighed, she had to think of another excuse and fast.

"Everything aside, we're still breaking the rules, what if we get caught?"

"Well, I know it's not ideal but, c'mon, you don't want another regret to add to your list do you? Anyway, you're on the up and up, it's only a matter of time until you move on right?"

"Yeah, but…"

He moved closer, sweeping the stray hairs away from her face.

"Kate, some things in life are worth breaking the rules for, but for now, can we just relax and enjoy this beautiful place?"

She nodded ever so slightly as he placed his lips against hers.

That evening Dutchy dropped Kate home, she hopped out the car before he could kiss her again. Dutchy waited for her to be inside before he started the engine and drove off. Stopping at the intersection he watched a car turn in to Kate's street, his eyes narrowed feeling that the car seemed familiar. He was still staring in the rear-view mirror as the light turned green, the car behind him beeped. He gave them an apologetic wave and continued on his way, suddenly he realised why the car seemed familiar, it was the car that was sitting out the front of Kate's house spying on her.

He immediately slammed on the breaks and turned around and drove back to Kate's house, he parked a few doors down and watched as Kate invited the driver inside. He was about the jump out the car and run to her house when a scary thought crossed his mind, what if she was in on it? What if she was involved and not the victim? It would explain why she was willingly letting this criminal into her house. He was torn between his feelings for her and his suspicion, he waited for a few moments, if anything he just needed to know she was safe. 20 minutes past and he became anxious, he walked up her front path and peered into her window. He saw her sitting at her dining room table with the man, papers spread all over the table and they were talking, normally, like they were friends. He wanted to knock down the door and confront them, but he didn't want to disturb them if there was something else going on.

He had given her a chance to explain, at first he thought she was just nervous, but now it didn't add up, he had to tell someone. He got back into his car and drove to Mike house.

He stood at Mike's front door going over everything in his head, was he overreacting? The thing that worried him was that he couldn't think of a reasonable explanation. He knocked on the door and waited, Mike opened the door and smiled.

"Dutchy? What's up?"

"Ah, can I come in, Boss?"

Mike nodded, he closed the door and turned Dutchy paced around his living room. Mike raised an eyebrow, something wasn't right, he seemed irritated.

"Everything okay?"

"I'm not sure..."

Mike laughed nervously at his answer.

"Okay..."

"I just need to talk something over, no judgment, no accusations, I just don't know what to think..."

Mike sat on the couch worried at Dutchy's explanation of the situation.

"Are you in trouble?"

"No, I don't even know where to start, maybe I'm just being paranoid."

"Sit down, Dutchy, just talk..."

He took a deep breath in and sat next to him.

"It's about Kate..."

Mike raised an eyebrow at Dutchy's use of her name.

"Dutchy, I thought I told you to drop this?"

"I know but, I just, I think there's something going on…"

Mike was hesitant about getting involved, but Dutchy's behaviour troubled him.

"Okay... is she in trouble?"

"Umm..."

"Dutchy, you're better off saying something and it's nothing than the other way round right?"

He nodded and shifted on the couch and paced again.

"So, you know how I asked you the other week if you remembered the story about a guy in the Navy who was stabbed?"

Mike nodded along.

"Yeah, you said it was Kate's father?"

"Yeah, well, she told me it was actually her boyfriend who killed him…"

Mike's jaw dropped.

"What?"

"She said that they sent Daniel, her ex, in to kill him, her mother was killed too and she was also stabbed. But anyway, there's been a guy hanging around, and she tells me he's a part of the drug ring and they just randomly appear to show a presence, to intimidate her…"

Mike's brow creased, he wasn't quite sure what Dutchy was getting at.

"Okay, so why the reluctance to say anything, it sounds like she's in trouble?!"

"Well, that same guy, he was at her house today..."

Mike rose from the couch surprised that Dutchy hadn't mentioned this fact earlier.

"So, she is in danger? We need to call the police!"

Mike took out his phone went to dial, Dutchy shook his head and covered it with his hand, Mike looked over to him and frowned.

"Dutchy?"

Dutchy exhaled loudly, he felt so guilty.

"Ah, no, she invited him in to her house… I think there's something dodgy going on..."

"Dodgy? With Kate..."

He nodded reluctantly, Mike wasn't sure what to make of everything, he knew Dutchy wasn't someone to overreact but this was a serious accusation.

"Dutchy, you know what I'm about to say..."

"Yeah, I don't have any hard evidence..."

He plonked himself back on the couch feeling like a jerk, Mike sat beside him.

"Have you tried to ask her about it?"

"Yeah! She just shuts off, I mean I haven't confronted her about her welcoming the guy into her house but..."

"Dutchy, this whole thing could just be a big misunderstanding."

"I don't know what to do, that's why I came to you?!"

"Well, I think she deserves the right to explain, if this is some strange coincidence then that's fine, but if she is involved in something dodgy then..."

"I just can't imagine it, but I have this feeling..."

Mike looked up at him disapprovingly.

"Well, last time you had a feeling it caused issues with you and the X."

"I know, I'm sorry boss, but my instincts are usually right..."

Mike took a deep breath in as he rose from the couch, he tapped him on the shoulder.

"Okay, lets go…"

Back at Kate's house Warren and Kate sat at the dinning room table, Warren watched as Kate rummaged around the paperwork looking for any convincing evidence.

"You're awfully convincing you know?"

She looked up at him for a split second with a stern look on her face, then focused back on the pages in front of her. Warren let out a scoff.

"Oh, don't tell me…"

She looked up at him and frowned.

"What?"

He stood in front of her and raised an eyebrow knowing that she knew what he was talking about.

"Oh, c'mon Kate, don't play dumb!"

She stood to confront him.

"What?"

"You've finally failed, haven't you?!"

She wrinkled her face as she began to pace.

"Don't be ridiculous…"

"Kate, look as much as I hate to admit it, you are doing a great job, you could be an actor. But doesn't that mean someone else could be just as good an actor as you?"

Kate was about to retaliate but she knew he had a point.

"Kate, I think it's time to get you out…"

"What?"

"Don't lie to yourself…"

She walked away from him shaking her head.

"You're not in charge, Warren, plus, you know what, I don't need to explain myself to you…"

A knock on the door made them both jump.

"Kate, it's Dutchy…"

"You need to go! Now!"

She shoved him towards the back door.

"I've got this…"

End of Chapter 12.


	13. Chapter 13

Promise To Love Me, Even When You Hate Me.

Chapter 13.

Kate gathered the paperwork from the table and shoved it into the nearest drawer. She ran to the door and stopped before opening it, taking a deep breath in she reached for the handle and put on a smile as she opened the door. Dutchy barged his way in and darted around looking for the mysterious visitor.

"Dutchy, what the hell?"

Dutchy stood in the middle of her lounge room and looked back at Mike hoping he would take the lead, Mike cleared his throat as he stepped into the doorway.

"Ah, X, can we come in?"

Kate opened the door wider to let him in, they made their way to the lounge and sat, Dutchy continued to pace. Kate's eyes darted back and forth from Mike to Dutchy.

"So… What's going on?"

Mike glanced over to Dutchy, he refused to make eye contact with Kate.

"Ah, look, I'm just going to say it… Dutchy told me about your ex and what happened. I, we, are concerned about these unsavoury characters that are hanging around, and also worried that it's making you look, well, dodgy..."

Kate frowned in Dutchy's direction, she knew this had to be coming from him.

"What? You think I'm a part of all this?"

Dutchy froze, her saying it aloud made him feel even worse, he was immediately on the defense.

"That's not what I said."

Mike shot a questioning look towards Dutchy, it's exactly what he had said, Kate stood up to confront him.

"You didn't have to, you've already asked me about it, multiple times, and why else would the boss be here?"

Mike stepped between them trying to diffuse the situation, he wanted this to be a productive conversation.

"Kate, I'm not accusing you of anything, but I'm not hearing a denial..."

Kate let out a huff and paced the room trying to keep a straight face, she felt like a cornered rat. These people didn't deserve to be lied too, but she had come too far to blow her cover. Mike and Dutchy glanced at each concerned about her silence, worried it meant they were right. Kate let out a huff, she knew she had to give them something that resembled the truth, it was the only believable explanation.

"The guy on the FFV, the guy that Dutchy saw watching me, he's in the drug squad, and… so am I."

Mike and Dutchy sat there speechless, Kate sat down waiting for a response.

"Okay? So, we can move on?"

Mike and Dutchy exchanged an uneasy look, Dutchy shook his head vigorously, this made him more angry.

"No! Now we have more questions..."

Kate rolled her eyes and folded her arms across her chest.

"I can't say any more, case closed, that's it! And you can't say anything either! I am safe, just... leave it alone."

Dutchy wasn't ready to drop it, got up and paced around the room.

"So why was he on an FFV?"

Kate rose from the couch rolling her eyes.

"Did you not hear me when I said case closed? I know this is hard, but you just need to leave it alone, if you don't we all could be in trouble."

"So, does Commander White know about this?"

Kate clenched her jaw, she hadn't thought about the ramifications of her story.

"No, it was a need to know, just in case officers were involved…"

Dutchy sat back down and ran his hands through his hair trying to comprehend what Kate had told them. They sat there in silence for a moment, Dutchy cleared his throat.

"Kate, I just want you to know that I was worried, I wasn't trying to get you into trouble."

She raised an eyebrow and pursed her lips together not believing him, he could tell she didn't believe him.

"C'mon Kate!"

Mike interjected not wanting there to be further problems.

"Kate, don't tell me you wouldn't have done the same, you're a rule follower..."

Dutchy couldn't help but scoff, Mike had used the exact phrase that Kate hate used to describe herself. He raised his eyebrow in her direction, she let out a huff.

"How long exactly have you been doing this?"

"Ah, umm, I can't say, I'm sorry! I really need you to keep this to yourself, and that includes keeping it from Commander White. Trust me, if something goes wrong then you guys will be the first to be on the chopping block. You have to promise me you won't get all weird or anything, things just continue as normal."

"So, after this job is done, you'll be leaving?"

She wondered if he was asking for personal or professional reasons.

"Ah, I guess it depends a lot of factors."

Mike could tell there was something else bothering Dutchy, but he decided to leave it, there was already enough drama.

"Okay, is there anyway we can get some confirmation of your position?"

"I'll see what I can do."

"Okay, well, it would really help…"

Another silence fell over the conversation, Mike cleared his throat and headed for the door.

"Well, umm, I'll see you soon… Dutchy, do you need a ride?"

"Ah, no, it's okay, thanks, Boss…"

Mike left hoping Dutchy wasn't going to push much further. As soon as the door clicked shut Kate unleashed her wrath.

"If you don't trust me, then we might as well end this now..."

She froze, what was she saying? She couldn't end this, she didn't know where that had come from, the lines were blurring and she couldn't control it.

"Kate, don't you see I'm doing this because I care..."

"Really? it's a funny way to show you care."

She kicked herself, she couldn't stop, her real feelings we're bubbling to the surface. Dutchy sat there questioning everything, every interaction they ever had, he was scared to ask more.

"So, all of this, is this real? I mean you are in the navy right?"

She nodded afraid that she would say something stupid.

"But you're working for the drug squad?"

She nodded again.

"And the guy from the messages? Shaun?"

"My boss..."

"The shady guy sitting out the front of your house that day, and who I saw you with in the cafe."

"A co-worker..."

"So there's no one stalking you? You made that up?"

"Well, no, that really happened, when well, see, after my father was killed…"

Dutchy waved his hand in her face stopping her.

"I just don't know what to believe, Kate, there are too many stories."

Kate knew he was right, she needed to fix it, she needed him to believe her.

"C'mon, Kate, if we're in a relationship then you need to tell me the truth."

"It is the truth, and I would have eventually told you..."

She looked up into his eyes but quickly looked away, Dutchy still felt she was hiding something.

"Kate?"

She ignored him and walked into the kitchen, she rummaged around in the cupboard and pulled out a bottle of vodka and took a shot. Dutchy stormed after her, he wasn't going to let this go.

"Kate! You can't ignore this..."

Dutchy stood there for a moment hoping she would come to her senses, they stood there in a silent standoff, he shook his head and stepped closer.

"Kate, let me in, I would never hurt you."

She wanted to believe him, she wanted to believe that every feeling that she had had for him was okay, because he was one of the good guys.

"Can you just…"

She stopped herself, she knew that asking him to drop it wasn't the answer, he cared for her and he would do anything to protect her.

"Look, truth is, I couldn't bear if I put you in danger, and before you say that I'm in danger, I have a department looking after me, but I don't think they'd extend you the same courtesy."

She stood on her tippy toes and kissed him on the cheek, he sighed not knowing what to believe,

"I just need some time to process…"

She nodded, and he headed for the door, she called out after him.

"Dylan, just trust me…."

He gave her a halfhearted smile and closed the door. Kate ran her hands over her face and let out a scream.

"What is the matter with you?"

Warren reentered Kate's living room.

"Wow, you're a fast thinker! So, now you're in the Drug Squad? Kate, seriously, he's even said it, there are too many stories! You're going stuff this up, I can't even keep up, and pretty soon you won't remember what you've said."

She poured herself another drink and sat on the couch.

"It's fine, I've got this, it relates to my other story about my father, it's all going to come together... anyway, where are you guys at? I can't prove that he's guilty unless he's actually guilty."

"Yeah, we're working on it, it just seems that you're working against us, that's all."

"Warren, I can't create evidence! He's done nothing dodgy in front of me. He refused the bribe you guys set up, and may I remind you of the deposits you said were bribe money, that turned out to be clean? If my investigation turns up nothing, I need you to consider the fact that he's innocent."

Warren let out a grunt and headed for the front door.

"What's so special about this guy that you're willing to make yourself look so stupid?"

Kate refused to answer and closed the door in his face.

That afternoon Kate headed to Dutchy's, she was determined to fix things and find out the truth. But more than anything she needed to feel okay about the way she was feeling and the only way to do that was to prove that he was innocent. She knocked on Dutchy's door and waited, there was no answer, Frankie poked her head out of her window.

"Kate! Good to see you!"

"Oh, Frankie, hi..."

"I think he's out, dear, why don't you wait with me and have a cuppa?"

She nodded and walked into her house, she sat at the table while Frankie brought over tea and biscuits.

"So, have you come to your senses yet?"

"Huh?"

"You two are dating, right? I've seen you around more and more."

Kate raised her eyebrow suspicious that she already knew.

"Maybe..."

Frankie let out an excited yelp.

"I knew he'd win you over! He really likes you, dear, you've had an effect on him."

"Right..."

"Now, you know he's like family so don't go hurting him..."

Kate spun the cup round in her hands, that's all she needed, someone else to make her feel more guilty. They taught her to think of her targets as targets, not people who had others that cared about them and Frankie was making it harder.

"I'll try..."

"Good... now, tell me a bit about yourself dear..."

She shrugged and played with the teacup.

"Not much to tell… What about Dylan, is there anything I should know?"

Frankie smirked taking a bite out of her biscuit.

"All I'm gonna say is that he's, well, special. No one really sees past the Navy jock, he's got the biggest heart, he's so loyal…"

A knock on the door interrupted them.

"Frankie? Are you holding Kate hostage?"

Frankie laughed as she opened the door.

"What? She came over here of her free will."

He gave he a hug as he stepped inside the door, Kate fidgeted in her chair as he approached, he leaned in and whispered in her ear.

"Were you here to talk to me?"

She nodded and rose from her chair and smiled in Frankie's direction.

"Thanks for the cuppa, I'll see you soon."

They walked over to Dutchy's house and sat on the couch, they went to speak at the same time. They stopped and laughed, Kate reached over and placed her hand on his knee.

"I'm sorry…"

He looked up to her surprised, not expecting an apology straight away.

"I, umm, you're right, I need to… let you in…"

He grasped her hand in his and moved closer.

"Kate, I do trust you, I was just worried that you didn't trust me. I understand that you're just doing your job but…"

"Dutchy, things are complicated, that's all… I mean I have a job to do and, well, I never expected to fall for you…"

Kate hesitated, it was too close to the truth, but somehow it made her feel better.

"Kate, just, what does all of this mean? We're risking a lot and I don't know what's happening, like, I know nothing about what you do. I mean, when this 'job' is over what's going to happen?"

"Ah…"

"Do you even care?"

"Of course I care! Dutchy, it's, it's just complicated…"

He shook his head and pulled his hand back, she was saying all the right things but he just didn't believe her.

"Yeah, you said that, I just don't think you understand how I feel…"

"Dutchy, you know I do…"

Their phones beeped, they looked at each other knowing exactly what it meant. Kate placed her hand on Dutchy's cheek and turned his face to meet hers.

"Just, you need to be patient with me, please."

He let out a sigh and fumbled his phone out of his pocket to check the message.

"Damn it, we have to go… I was going to message you today anyway, our fur baby arrives today, I'll get Frankie to pick her up."

Kate placed her hand on his knee hoping she could get through to him.

"Look, when we get back let's spend some time together, I'll stay at yours and we can talk, and you can clean up after the puppy."

She looked over to him and smiled hoping that she could lighten the mood, he nodded and placed his phone back in his pocket.

"Okay, well, back in professional mode?"

She leaned in close.

"Just 5 more seconds of normal mode…"

She pressed her lips against his, he resisted for a moment but then sunk into the kiss.

They arrived at the docks separately and were summoned to the bridge as soon as they had reached their cabins. Dutchy knocked on Kate's cabin door, she sheepishly opened it.

"Are you ready?"

She nodded and exited her cabin.

"It's okay, we can do this…"

They headed up to the bridge, Mike had already made the order to sail.

"Morning! We ready to get straight into it? No Guava Mojo hangovers?'

Kate rolled her eyes knowing she would never live that down.

"No, all good, Boss. What's happening?"

"Ah, got some random hijackings, no one's been hurt yet, thank goodness, but we're going to rendezvous with the latest victim take a statement and hopefully catch these guys."

Kate, Dutchy, Swain and Charge sat in the senior sailors mess having lunch, Charge glanced side ways at Dutchy.

"So, I hear you're quite the chef-o?"

Dutchy continued to shovel food into his mouth.

"Huh?"

"Well, when 2Dads picked you up the other morning he said you were entertaining."

Kate tried her hardest not to blush and kept her eyes firmly focused on her plate. Dutchy's eyes darted over to Kate then back to his plate.

"What's it to you…"

Charge held up his hands in surrender.

"Oh, sorry, not like you not to kiss and tell…"

Kate swallowed her mouthful, she had to help him.

"Calm down Charge, it was just me, we went for a run and he offered to make me breakfast…"

Charge took a sip of his coffee and glanced over to Dutchy.

"Oh…"

Kate let out a laugh knowing what he was thinking.

"Anyway, you know nothing is going on there, can you imagine…"

They exchanged uncertain glances not knowing whether Kate was joking, she burst out laughing at their expressions.

"We're total opposites… although his cooking skills are 10 out of 10…"

Dutchy nodded and smiled proudly.

"See fellas, I'm a catch!"

They burst out laughing again, Dutchy put on a sad face and looked around at his giggling crew.

"Hey!"

A call came over the PA.

"XO and Dutchy to the bridge…"

Kate and Dutchy rose from their seats and ran up to the bridge.

"Boss?"

"Okay, we've got a potential sighting of the vessel, gear up and be on standby to board, extra plates, no risks."

They nodded and headed below. The RHIB raced towards the vessel, the crew shut their visors ready to board.

Dutchy jumped aboard then Kate, then 2Dads and Swain, there was no sign of any crew on deck.

Swain and 2Dads searched the wheelhouse, various personal items were scattered over the controls. Swan poked his head out of the door and called Kate and Dutchy over.

They entered the wheelhouse, Kate picked up an expensive looking watch and glanced over to Dutchy who was looking over the other items.

"Ah, 2Dads, Swain, why don't you check the rest of the deck..."

They gave her a nod and exited the wheelhouse, Kate walked over to Dutchy and cleared her throat.

"I wouldn't leave this lying around, looks expensive…"

She handed it to him and walked off, she looked over her shoulder, she had sent the others away on purpose, she was testing him again. She watched as Dutchy carefully inspected the watch, she held her breath as he placed it back down on the console and continued to search. She pretended to busy herself as he approached her, he leaned in close and whispered.

"Do you think they're below?"

She nodded and pointed to the door that lead below, it was slightly ajar. She pointed to the floor, indicating for him to stay put, Kate made her way to the front of the boat to get Swain and 2Dads for back up. They returned but Dutchy had disappeared, the door below was wide open, Kate shook hear head and drew her gun.

Cautiously she pushed the door open, heard a scuffle and a wail, she looked back to 2Dads and Swain and signalled for them to cover her. As she descended the stairs her heart raced worried that the scream belonged to Dutchy. She squinted as her eyes adjusted to the light, she spotted a body laying on the floor. Her steps quickened seeing the camo pattern of a Navy uniform, it was Dutchy. He lay in a pool of blood with a spear sticking out of his thigh. She turned to Swain in a panic, he ran to his side and placed pressure on his wound.

"Dutchy, you right mate? Where are they?"

He winced as he attempted to sit up, Kate pushed him back down. He lifted his arm and pointed to a second door on the other side of the cabin.

Kate nodded for 2Dads to inspect, he ran to the other exit and poked his head out and saw two men escaping in a dingy.

"X, they're getting away!"

Kate unhooked her radio.

"X-ray eight two to Papa eight two, come in?"

"Papa eight two, receiving…"

"Boss, Dutchy has been wounded, they've escaped in a dingy."

"I'll send the other RHIB, don't worry, X, we'll get them! Just get Dutchy back here…"

"Will do…"

She focused her attention back on Dutchy.

"Can you move?"

He nodded, they attempted to stand him up, he let out a growl as they picked him up by his shoulders and supported his weight. Kate winced hearing his grunts of pain, tears welled in her eyes, she quickly wiped them away before anyone could see them.

Kate stood in the ward room doorway as Swain and Bird worked on him. Swain wiped the sweat from his brow looking worried.

"I think we should leave it in, sorry, mate! If I try to pull it out, it'll make you bleed more and you've already lost a lot of blood. But, I think it's best if we try to shorten the pole…"

Dutchy nodded unable to speak through the pain, Bird handed a pair of bolt cutters to Swain. He opened them and placed the blades against the pole.

"You may need to brace yourself…."

Dutchy scrunched up his face and gripped the table, Swain winced as the cutters snapped together cutting through the metal. Dutchy let out a stomach churning scream, he writhed in pain on the table and locked eyes with Kate who was standing in the doorway. She couldn't bare to see him in like this, it made her feel physically ill, she ran to her cabin trying to remove the images from her head.

Slamming the door she fell onto her rack and burst into tears, she aggressively wiped the tears from her cheek hoping it was shock and not a confirmation of her feelings for him. She took a few deep breaths in trying to calm herself, but they refused to stop. She clenched her eyes closed willing them to go away, she counted to five and reopened them, but the tears kept falling.

"Get a grip Kate, you're in shock, this isn't real…"

A knock on door startled her, she wiped the tears away again and opened her door trying to look more composed, it was Mike.

"X? You okay?"

"Ah, yeah, sorry, I guess it was just a shock and I'm not good with blood."

"Okay, so, you'll need…"

"Oh, I'll get the report to you ASAP boss…"

Mike smiled and placed a hand on her shoulder trying to comfort her.

"Kate, that's not what I was implying, I was going to say that you'll need some time to recoup, I'll take you and the others off watch…"

"Boss, I'm fine, really…"

"Okay, well Dutchy is asking for you…"

She rubbed her hands over her face and nodded.

"Yeah, just give me a sec…"

She shut the door and paced around her cabin.

"Snap out of it, Kate…"

Kate stood at the doorway of the wardroom, she took a deep breath in as she entered and sat next to him. He slid his hand over the table towards hers, she looked around to check if anyone was around and held it tight.

"Are you okay?"

He glanced down to the spear sticking out of his thigh.

"Well, apart from the obvious…"

Kate forced a smile and squeezed his hand tighter.

"You scared the crap out of me, you need to stop being the hero, you shouldn't have gone down there by yourself…"

She heard footsteps and pulled her hand away from Dutchy's grip, she wiped the tears away as Swain entered the room.

"Don't feel sorry or him Ma'am, he'll find some poor girl to look after him and that sad face of his."

Kate forced a laugh and rose from the chair. She stopped at the door and turned back, Dutchy winked in her direction. She headed back to her cabin and flopped onto her rack wiping the tears away.

"Stop crying!"

An hour later they had docked and Dutchy had been taken to the hospital, he had surgery to remove the spear. Kate was sitting by his bedside waiting for him to wake up, she leaned her head on the bed drifting off to sleep.

Dutchy awoke and smiled seeing her at his side, he raised his hand and stroked her hair waking her.

"Kate?"

She looked up to him and smiled, tears started to well in her eyes again.

"Hey, what's with the tears?"

She rolled her eyes and wiped them from her face.

"I haven't been able to stop the bloody things!"

"Aww, that's sweet, but Kate, I'm okay and you might give us away!"

She sat there trying to compose herself, he patted her hand.

"Are you sure you're okay?"

She let out a laugh.

"You shouldn't be asking me how I am, you're the one that was injured…"

"Kate, I'm fine…"

She sat there fiddling with the edge of the bedsheet, she had felt better telling him some of the truth and she wondered whether telling him how she really felt would help stop the tears.

"You know, I think, umm…"

He smiled and raised an eyebrow.

"Yes?"

"I think..."

Dutchy laughed and pulled the sheet from her grip.

"Kate!?"

She swallowed hard trying to form the words.

"I think I have feelings for you?"

She exhaled sharply, it was done, she couldn't take it back, but it felt like a weight had been lifted. Dutchy scoffed and shook his head.

"Always so dramatic, and, yeah, I'd hope so, that's why we're dating aren't we?"

Kate looked up to him and smiled, she felt so silly.

"I just don't want either of us to get in trouble. I can't be the reason you get kicked of Hammersley, you love the Hammersley..."

He smiled and looked into her eyes, he pushed the stray hairs away from her face and cradled her cheek in his hand.

"Yeah, but I could love you more..."

Kate's heart skipped a beat, she stumbled off the chair needing to get out of there before he said something else she didn't want to hear.

"Well, umm, I just came to check you weren't dead… I'd better go…"

She went to leave, he grasped her hand pulling her back.

"Kate…"

She didn't want to turn around in case he was about to say the words she didn't want to hear.

"Yeah?"

"I have feelings for you too…"

She smiled and leaned down and kissed him on the cheek.

"I'll come bust you out later…"

Kate quickly exited the room and shut the door, she fell back on to the wall and placed her hand over her racing heart.

"Fucking feelings..."

End of Chapter 13.


	14. Chapter 14

Promise to Love Me, Even When You Hate Me.

Chapter 14.

Kate headed to Dutchy's house, she wanted to make sure it was clean and organised for when he came home. It was also an opportunity to have a thorough look around knowing that he wouldn't come home and interrupt her. She went to unlock the door, but it flung open causing her to jump backwards, Frankie stood at the door holding the puppy, she pulled Kate in for a hug.

"Kate! I just heard what happened! Is he okay?"

She nodded as Frankie gave her another squeeze.

"Yeah, he's okay, he has to stay in overnight for observation…"

Frankie sighed with relief and lifted the puppy in front of her face.

"See! I told you Daddy would be fine!"

She rolled her eyes at herself as she passed her to Kate.

"And yes, I have been talking to the puppy!"

Kate smiled and gave her a cuddle.

"Yeah, she's a good listener!"

Frankie ushered her into the house.

"Come in, come in, you must be tired…"

She nodded and went to put her bag in the lounge room, she stood there for a moment to gather her thoughts, but all her mind could do was picture Dutchy lying in a pool of blood. She dropped her bag beside her and burst into tears, Frankie ran over to her and wrapped her arms around her.

"Oh, Kate, are you okay?"

She nodded as she wiped the tears from her cheeks.

"I feel so silly, I don't even know why I'm crying…"

"Why don't you come and sit down, it's been a long day, I'll make you a cuppa…"

Kate sat on the couch holding the puppy, she licked the tears that fell from her eyes. Frankie sat next to her and placed a cup of tea in front of her and rubbed her back concerned about her tears. Kate waved her hands in the air in between wiping away the tears.

"Just ignore me…"

"Well, it must have been so hard seeing him injured and you would have had to act all, well, professional…"

Kate wrinkled her face, Frankie was right, but it also confirmed her fears, that she had genuine had feelings for him. Taking a few deep breaths in she tried to deny the obvious.

"Yeah but, I see things like this all the time, well, not things exactly like this but, you know what I mean?"

"Yes, but I think this is a bit different?"

Kate sniffed and continued to wipe away the tears.

"How?"

"Well, were those people your friends?"

She shook her head as Frankie handed her a tissue.

"Kate, you don't need to make excuses, your boyfriend was hurt, and when someone you love is hurt, our bodies react…"

Kate hesitated, Frankie said the unspeakable word.

"Love?"

Frankie nodded as she sipped on her tea.

"Yes, dear, it's obvious, he's head over heels. I've seen him with girls and, well, he's different with you... Don't you feel the same?"

Kate picked up the cup and took a sip avoiding the question, Frankie could see she was hesitant, she patted her hand as she rose from the chair.

"Well, I've got some errands to run, are you going to be okay?"

Kate nodded as she swallowed her mouthful, Frankie gave Kate's shoulder a squeeze.

"You call me if you need anything, okay?"

Frankie waved as she shut the door. Kate shook her head and rubbed her hands over her face, her phone rang, she looked at the caller ID and frowned as she picked up the phone.

"Shaun, what do you want?"

"Warren told me what happened, how you told them about us..."

"Yes, but it wasn't the truth..."

"Pretty bloody close though! Maybe we should pull the plug?"

"No, it's fine! I want to find out the truth, how you going with the witness?"

"Ah, so, that's the other reason I was calling, bad news I'm afraid, he's done a runner…"

"What? So, what's happening with the case?"

"Well, it's up to you to find the evidence…"

"Shaun, I've told you, I haven't found any!"

"Okay, well, maybe another test then…"

"I have! We were out today, there was a boat full of stolen property, I handed him an expensive watch and nothing, he put it back…"

"Right, well, he's not going to just take it in front of everyone…"

"C'mon give me some credit, I made sure the others weren't around and I walked away from him giving him every opportunity…"

There was silence on the other end of the phone.

"Shaun?"

"How sure are you that he's innocent?"

"Pretty sure…"

"You're willing to stake your career on that?"

Kate hesitated, when he put it like that, she wasn't sure.

"Kate?"

"Give me a bit more time, I'm alone in his house tonight."

"Okay, I trust you, Kate… whatever you decide…"

She hung up the phone and walked into Dutchy's bedroom and sighed, her feelings aside, she needed to find the truth.

3 hours later she had gone over his house with a fine-tooth comb, she had found no evidence of anything suspicious. She flopped back onto the couch unsure how to feel. She was relieved, but it still worried her that there had been a witness, everything else indicated he was innocent. The next issue were her feelings, if he was innocent it was okay to feel the way she did about him, but how would their relationship continue? If she were to tell him everything she was sure he wouldn't understand and he'd probably break it off.

Curling herself into a ball she lay on the couch thinking about a way out, a way to leave without crushing him. Her eyes caught a glimpse of a photo album on the shelf of his bookcase, she got up and retrieved it. As she sat back on the couch, the puppy scratched at her leg, she leaned down and picked her up.

"Don't tell Daddy I'm letting you on the couch."

She placed the puppy in her lap and opened the album, a smile grew on her face as she flicked through the pages. The first few pages were of an adolescent Dutchy on the farm, then the next few were of his graduation from ADFA and his first patrol. She looked closely at the photos of his crew trying to see if she recognised anyone, luckily she didn't. As she flipped page on page she noticed his smile became less and less radiant, it didn't return until she found pictures of him on Hammersley. She flipped back to check the faces of the crew and realised that he's fading smile must have been around the time that his Boarding Officer had been killed. She scanned the photos looking for his ill-fated friend and found two pictures with an identical crew, bar one, she looked up from the album and around the house for anymore photos of the missing face. She spotted one on the mantle, she rose from the couch holding the puppy and grabbed the photo and compared them, they matched. Letting out a sigh she placed the photo back into the album and placed the frame on the coffee table, she wondered how close they were, how much he had hid his pain. She held the puppy up to her face and smiled.

"You're lucky you're a dog, life is complicated…"

The next evening Kate collected Dutchy from the hospital, she had barely slept thinking about her future, their future. Dutchy tilted his head as he looked over to her.

"You're quiet…"

Kate put on a smile but focused on the road ahead.

"Oh, yeah, umm, just tired I guess…"

They pulled into the driveway and quickly exited the car and grabbed his bag from the boot.

"So, Frankie has made us like, a years worth of scones..."

Dutchy hobbled up the path on his crutches.

"Aww, is she okay? She'd be worried..."

"Yeah, she actually calmed me down..."

She opened the door, the puppy ran up to them wiggling it's whole body, Kate leaned down and picked her up.

"Look, Daddy's home…"

The puppy squirmed and licked at Dutchy's arm, Dutchy leaned the crutches on the wall and took her from Kate and gave her a kiss.

"So, has she got a name yet?"

"No, but they reckon that you should spend some time getting to know the puppy before we name it…"

She rubbed her nose against the puppy's, Dutchy looked over to her and smiled, she tilted her head at his gaze.

"What?"

He reached out and held her hand, she tensed up, she knew that look, Warren looked at her the same way before he confessed his feelings.

"Kate, I…"

He was interrupted by a warm sensation running down his side, the puppy had peed on him from excitement, he held the puppy out in front of him.

"Oh, c'mon…"

Kate couldn't help but laugh, she took the puppy from him and whispered in her ear.

"Good girl!"

After Dutchy had showered and changed, he nestled himself next to Kate on the couch and wrapped his arm around her.

"I love having you here, really feels like home..."

Kate nestled into his side kissing him on the neck.

"Yeah, it's nice…"

Dutchy spotted the frame on the table and sat up making Kate move herself from his nook.

"Ah, where'd that come from?"

She kicked herself, she had forgotten to put it back.

"Oh, umm… I found your photo album and, I was just..."

Dutchy got up and placed the photo back on the mantle and stared at it for a moment, Kate cleared her throat breaking his concentration.

"So, umm, who is that?"

He sat back next to her and focused on the floor.

"I think you've already figured that out…"

"It was your old boarding officer, right?"

He nodded and picked up the photo album and flicked through the pages, he stopped at the one with his crew from the gulf.

"His name was Will, I hadn't been on board for that long before it happened, he made me feel welcome and kind took me under his wing. We just clicked, and with in a few weeks we were best mates."

Dutchy exhaled sharply and slammed the photo album shut, he tossed it on the table, Kate could see that she had hit a nerve.

"Sorry, Dutchy, I didn't mean to…"

"No, it's okay…"

He leaned back on the couch and stared into space.

"I actually feel like I can talk to you about it, maybe that's the scary part…"

Kate reached out and placed a hand on his knee trying to comfort him.

"Well, I'm happy to listen, anything I can do to help."

He rose from the couch and paced the room.

"I just didn't know what to say to the shrinks, like, I feel like they don't really get it, they're not out there day in day out facing these situations."

Kate stood in front of him and held his hand hoping to calm him.

"Yeah, but Dylan, you need to remember you saved 5 other people that day…"

He flopped back on to the couch and covered his face with his hands.

"I know, but I'm not a hero, I hate that title! It's like they just forgot about Will, like those 5 people make up for him dying, or that me saving 5 people excuses me for not having his back… do you know how he died?"

Kate was too scared to respond, she shook her head ever so slightly.

"His throat was cut, like an animal…"

Dutchy shook his head trying to shake the image away, she squeezed his hand tighter.

"It wasn't your fault, Dylan, no one could have predicted what happened…"

"I tried to write his family a letter, but I could never find the right words. I found out a couple of years ago that it was only him and his brother, his parents died in a car accident a few years before…"

"Well, I'm sure one day you will find the right words, have you ever thought about meeting his brother? Do you think that would help?"

"I don't have the guts, I just wish none of it ever happened…"

They sat there in silence for a moment, she wasn't sure if he wanted to discuss it further, she looked over to the puppy who was sleeping on the floor.

"So, umm, we still need a name..."

Dutchy sat there staring at the puppy trying to snap himself out of his mood.

"What about, Reason?"

Kate wrinkled her face.

"Huh?"

Dutchy smiled and looked over to her.

"Cos she's the reason…"

"Still not following…"

"Well, like, she's a reason to smile, a reason to come home, a reason to… love…"

Kate swallowed hard, there was that word again.

"Yeah, it's cute... It means something..."

She leaned her head on his shoulder, he kissed the top of her head and cleared his throat trying to strike up the guts to ask his next question.

"So, those guys, they weren't part of anything that you're working on?"

Kate looked over to him unimpressed, he rolled his eyes knowing he was going to be in trouble for asking.

"Hey, I can't help my curiosity..."

"No! You can't, but, umm, no, they were just dumb thieves who thought they could escape a warship in a dingy."

"Yeah well, they were smart enough to defend themselves with a fishing spear..."

"Well, you were dumb enough to go after them alone."

Dutchy waved his hands in the air surrendering.

"Okay, okay, I shouldn't have brought it up."

Kate's eyes narrowed, and she poked him on the chest with her index finger.

"No, you shouldn't have!"

Dutchy handed the remote to Kate.

"Okay, as an apology you can choose..."

She pushed the remote back towards him.

"You know what I want to watch..."

"Where are we up to?"

"Ah, episode 5..."

Kate snuggled into Dutchy's nook and tried to forget her real troubles in her fake life. 50 minutes later the episode was coming to an end and it was time for the final monologue.

_Meredith voice over: The thing about choosing teams in real life, it's not like it used to be in gym class. Being first picked can be terrifying and being chosen last… isn't the worst thing in the world. So we watch from the sidelines, clinging to our isolation, because we know as soon as we let go of the bench, someone comes along and changes the game completely._

Dutchy smiled and kissed Kate on the top of her head.

"You know as much as this show is such rubbish, the monologues Meredith does are so, well, right?"

"Yeah, well, it just means they have good writers..."

Dutchy nudged her with his elbow.

"Either way, someone's got some good insights to life…"

Kate sat up and gave him a friendly shove back.

"Hey! You can't call it rubbish if you watch it voluntarily."

Dutchy rolled his eyes and cleared his throat wanting to change the subject.

"So umm, did you ever get Mike that confirmation about your position?"

Kate threw her head back and let out a groan.

"Oh, you thought you'd just slip that in there…"

Dutchy looked at her innocently, Kate exhaled sharply and folded her arms over her chest.

"Are you asking as my coworker or as my boyfriend?"

Dutchy folded his arms over his chest mirroring her expression.

"Does it matter?"

Kate knew he was trying to make light of his question, but it was a serious matter to her.

"Not really, because either way I can't involve you, if they get wind that you know anything they'll come down hard and…"

Dutchy was sick of being treated like a child, like there was no way he could understand the complications of her job.

"Seriously? Kate, I'm your boyfriend…"

"Dylan, you're not being fair, this is my job…"

He let out a huff and turned back to the TV, she pulled on his arm not wanting to argue.

"Dylan, c'mon… "

He turned off the TV and turned to face her.

"I just feel like there's a whole lot I don't know about you, and you know so much about me. I just feel like you're not letting me in, you're not giving us a chance."

Kate scrunched up her face, she tried not to be defensive but she couldn't help it.

"You know plenty about me, you know about my parents, there's only a few people who know about that."

"Kate, you know that's not what I mean..."

She knew exactly what he meant but she couldn't risk it so she stayed silent.

"Work is a big part of someone's life, and I don't know if I can be with someone who's job is a complete mystery, I mean, what if you're in danger?"

"Dutchy, we've been over this, I have a whole team on my side, I'm not..."

"You're not in danger, yeah, you've said that but… look, I guess I'd just be a lot more comfortable if I knew who these people were."

"Okay, if I set up a meeting with my boss and you and Mike, would that help?"

He nodded as she took out her phone and messaged Shaun.

"Okay, tomorrow… but for now can we just be a normal couple and sit here and watch Grey's Anatomy?"

The next morning Mike knocked on Dutchy's door, Kate swung open the door, Mike's brow creased.

"Oh, Kate, hi…"

Kate swore under her breath forgetting that she was answering Dutchy's door like a girlfriend would do.

"Ah, hi, umm, come in."

They sat at the kitchen bench, Dutchy handed Mike a cup of coffee.

"Hey, Boss…"

Mike took a sip and glanced between Kate and Dutchy, something was off, he could definitely feel some tension.

"So, umm, the guy who's coming, Shaun? He's your…"

"Ah, he's my Boss, I guess. Look, he's not that thrilled about this so keep the questions to a minimum, I just told him you guys needed confirmation…"

A knock on the door interrupted her before she could say anything else, Kate ran to the door and opened it, Shaun greeted her with a unimpressed look, he leaned in and whispered.

"This better not blow up in our faces…"

She whispered back.

"Just follow my lead…"

She closed the door and lead him into the kitchen.

"Boss, Dutchy, this Shaun…"

He smiled and gave them a nod.

"Fellas… good to meet you."

Kate smiled nervously and cleared her throat.

"So, umm, the guys just wanted a bit of confirmation about my job…"

Shaun wrapped his arm around Kate and pulled her close.

"Isn't she the best?"

Mike smiled nervously and rose from his chair.

"Ah, look not to be, umm, disrespectful, but do you have any identification?"

Shaun laughed as he took out his wallet from his back pocket.

"You're Mike, the CO, right?"

Mike nodded feeling a little uneasy about his tone, Shaun shook his hand and handed him his wallet.

"It's fine, hey, I respect you for asking…"

Mike glanced at Shaun's Naval ID and frowned as his eyes scanned the words.

"N.I.I.D?"

Shaun's eyes darted over to Kate then back at Mike.

"The Naval Internal Investigation Department."

Dutchy approached and eyeballed the ID hearing Shaun's department.

"I thought Kate said she was working for the Drug Squad?"

Kate stepped forward and took the lead.

"Ah, yeah, through the N.I.I.D…"

Dutchy's brow creased as he glanced over to Shaun.

"Internal investigation? So you think one of us is involved?"

Shaun shot Kate another disapproving look, he didn't like where these questions were heading. Kate cleared her throat grabbed Shaun's ID and handed it back to him.

"Ah, well, it was just in case, but it's all good cos I know all you guys are clean, it was best to investigate all avenues."

Kate watched as Mike and Dutchy gave each other an uneasy look, she needed to fix it, and fast.

"C'mon guys, you need to remember that a few months ago I didn't know you! I was doing my job, but it looks like out leads have gone cold…"

Shaun slapped Kate's back and laughed.

"Yeah, don't act like your sad, you hate the humidity, you can't wait to get back to Melbourne…"

Dutchy's eyes focused on Kate, she could feel his questions through his stare. Shaun noticed Kate's discomfort and wasn't impressed.

"Ah, so, anyway, we all good?"

Dutchy and Mike nodded not knowing what other option they had.

"Well, good to meet you both, I trust that we can keep this between us though? I know it's not ideal, but we can't afford for our cover to be blown, else we'll really have to come after you."

Mike and Dutchy let out a fake laugh, too concerned to say anything.

"Great! Well, I can't stay, too many bad guys, and girls, to catch!"

Shaun headed for the door, he turned before leaving.

"Oh, and Kate, I expect an updated report ASAP…"

She nodded as he shut the door, she turned back to Mike and Dutchy nervous about what they had to say.

"So…"

Dutchy looked over to Mike unsure of what to say, Mike attempted a reassuring smile.

"Well, I guess I'm satisfied… umm, look, we don't really know what you're after, but we'll do our best to help?"

"It's okay boss, I think the case is a bit of a bust…"

"So you'll be leaving us then?"

Her eyes darted over to Dutchy to check his expression, it was blank.

"Ah, not quite yet, there are a few things we have to sort out, but you never know, I may just hang around…"

Dutchy slammed his cup onto the bench and scoffed.

"What? Just be a regular XO, no exciting undercover work?"

Kate shrugged pretending his tone didn't bother her, she was more concerned about Mike reading into it.

"Umm, yeah, why not, this was never a permanent gig, there's only so much undercover work that can be done…"

Mike finished his cup and rose from his chair, he didn't want to be a part of the awkward conversation that was taking place.

"Well, I gotta go, but I'll see you guys soon! Dutchy, rest up mate!"

Dutchy nodded and went to get up off his chair.

"It's okay, you don't need to walk me out…"

Mike gave Kate a smile and a nod and left.

Dutchy made his way over to the couch and plonked himself down, Kate sat next to him waiting for him to tell her what he really thought.

"Dylan?"

"I really don't know you at all, you live in Melbourne. So you have a house and a…"

Kate interrupted him desperate for him not to over think everything.

"I live there, but it's not my home, I'm barely there…"

"Kate, I just don't know what you want from me, am I just some fling while you're undercover and you were just going to leave one day?"

Kate held her breath for a moment, it was her original plan, but now that she had real feelings for him she didn't know what she was going to do.

"I, I guess I really hadn't thought that far…"

He moved away from her annoyed at her lack of empathy.

"So that was the plan?!"

"Dylan, I didn't expect to meet someone…"

"Kate, I just don't think you understand how I feel…"

She grasped his hands in hers and looked into his eyes.

"I do Dylan, we'll figure it out, I promise…"

Dylan rose from the couch and hobbled into his bedroom and slammed the door. Kate sighed and ran her hands over her face through her hair, this is exactly why she had shut herself off from the possibility of love, it was too hard, especially in her line of work.

She made her way back to her house and sat on her couch with Dylan's file, she ran her finger of his picture and sighed. Chucking the file on to the coffee table she let out a growl and grabbed the remote.

"Meredith Grey will make me feel better about my life…"

She selected the next episode, it opened with the usual monologue from Meredith.

_Meredith Voice over: When something begins you generally have no idea how it's going to end. The house you're going to sell becomes your home, the roommates you were forced to take in become your family, and the one night stand you were determined to forget becomes the love of your life._

Kate scoffed, why did all the episodes feel like they were describing her life? Dutchy's house felt like a home she could get used to, the crew she was forced to work with, they were almost like family, and the guy she needed to trick into falling for her, did, but the joke was on her, because, he might just be the love of her life.

Shaking her head she turned off the TV.

"Shut up, Meredith…"

She sat there for a moment thinking bout it, letting out a hiss she hurled the remote to the other side of the couch.

"Love of my life, yeah, right…"

End of Chapter 14.


	15. Chapter 15

So, do I still have everyone's attention? You're not all lost? lol if you're needing some clarification just send me PM, I'm trying to read it fresh every time but because I know what's going to happen it'd hard to see it for your eyes!

Anyway, thanks to all my loyal reviewers! Glad i'm still entertaining you all! Big love!

Promise to Love Me, Even When You Hate Me.

Chapter 15.

Later that evening Kate sat on her couch with a bottle of wine, she poured herself another glass, it only filled a quarter of the way. Frowning, she shook the bottle in disbelief that she had drank the whole thing, she slammed the bottle on the table and looked over to her wine rack. Looking back to her glass she rose from the couch and pulled another bottle from the rack. She topped up her glass and picked up her phone, she stared at the screen while taking a large mouthful, she exhaled loudly and opened a new message.

"I promise, one day, I will tell you everything."

She sat there focused on her phone hoping to see the three grey dots, but it was blank. She finished the glass in one mouthful and flopped back onto the couch letting out a groan.

The next morning Kate awoke sprawled over the couch, letting out a moan she dragged herself upright. There was a knock on the door, she rubbed her hands over her face hoping the thumping in her head wouldn't intensify. She made her way to the door hoping it was Dutchy, the smile fell from her face as she opened the door.

"Oh, Shaun…"

"Oh, you look like you had a rough night."

She winced and attempted to straighten the creases in her clothing, he smirked walking into the house and sat at her kitchen bench. Kate stood opposite him leaning on the bench feeling worse for wear.

"So, have we reached a verdict yet?"

"Ah, nearly…"

She leaned her head on the bench top, Shaun let out a laugh and patted her arm.

"I think the verdict is... opening the second bottle was a bad idea?"

Her eyes darted up to meed his, he nodded towards the empty bottles on her coffee table.

"Kate, what is going on? I've never seen you like this, I'm genuinely concerned about you."

She exhaled while pushing herself away from the bench, she couldn't tell him that she'd really fallen for him, he'd remove her from the case immediately.

"I just want to be sure, Boss. If this is coming back on me, then I need to be certain."

Shaun eyeballed her, feeling like it was an excuse, he saw the way they looked at each other.

"This wouldn't happen to have anything to do with his feelings for you? Or your feelings for him?"

Kate tried not to let the look of fear read all over her face, she turned and poured herself a glass of water from the tap avoiding his glare.

"No, but at the same time, I'm not just going ghost him, that's not fair. If he's innocent he hasn't deserved anything we've put him through."

Shaun pursed his lips together, tilting his head he raised an eyebrow.

"So, Kate McGregor has a conscious?"

"Well, I haven't had to form a relationship with anyone before. He's had a rough time, and me just dumping him for no reason isn't what he deserves."

Shaun let out a hiss as he rose from the stool.

"God, you are going soft! I'll give you another few weeks to sort things out, but I don't see why it's hard. Just find out what his deal breaker is, easy, or simply tell him you don't feel the same way, that's the truth right? Didn't you tell him some sob story about not being able to connect with anyone, can't you use that?"

"But that's what brought us together…"

Shaun turned and stood close.

"And what was all that talk about staying?"

Kate's eyes darted around the room wondering how he knew, Shaun let out a scoff, he could see she was panicking, he put her out of her misery.

"Bugs, remember, I hear everything…"

Kate made her way to the couch avoiding his judgemental glare.

"Well, it's kinda the truth, I mean, I can't do this forever, there's only so many disguises…"

He followed her not letting her get away with all her excuses.

"Well, you're the one who decided not to wear one this time."

"Hey, no amount of tape and glue would hold on that wig while I was on the R.H.I.B."

"But seriously, you want to, what? Be a real, live, Navy girl?"

She couldn't understand why it was such a odd concept to him, she folded her arms over her chest.

"Shaun, I'm serious, I don't want to do this for the rest of my life. He has a point, I can't have a family and hide my work life from them, and I wouldn't want to…"

"So, what, after this you're out? To be with him?"

He had such disdain in his voice, Kate hated that he thought it was an absurd idea. She already felt that way, and she didn't need someone else to tell her it was a dumb idea.

"Can we just concentrate on closing this case, and then I'll take my holiday…"

"Who's the boss now?"

She rolled her eyes and shoved him towards the door.

2Dads and Dutchy sat at the end of the jetty, fishing rods in hand. Dutchy had been quiet all morning, 2Dads glanced over to him not knowing why he was in a mood.

"So…"

Dutchy's eyes darted over to 2Dads then back to the water.

"Yeah?"

"Surprised you didn't bring the X with you?"

Dutchy shifted in his chair and tugged on his line.

"Why would you say that?"

"Well, you guys seem to be connected at the hip lately, Charge said that she was playing nurse?"

2Dads sat there staring at him with a goofy smile on his face, Dutchy refused to confirm or deny. Leaning back on his chair 2Dads placed his rod in the holder and placed his hands behind his head.

"You know, I must admit, I kinda like her, she's grown on me. I like to imagine she's come crazy wild person outside of work."

2Dads looked over to Dutchy expecting some kind of retaliation or denial, but his gaze was firmly focused on the water.

"Dutchy?"

He shook his head bringing himself out of his mind.

"Huh? Oh, umm, nah she's just, well, I dunno…"

"Well, I think I could get her wild side out… we should do something while we've got time off. Oh, and thanks for that by the way! And smart, getting speared in the leg and not the stomach, so you can still drink."

"Yeah, no probs…"

"So, what about at your birthday? A good excuse to party…"

Kate walked down the beach to clear her mind, the water always soothed her. Sitting on the dunes she closed her eyes feeling the breeze caress her face, she wished it would take all the mixed feelings away and tell her what to do. Deep down she knew what she needed to do, she came here to do a job and she needed to finish it. She was sure Dutchy was innocent, and clearing his name was the most important thing. Her feelings had to come second, once the case was closed she would figure out what to do. In the meantime she needed to fix things so that she could prove he was, without a doubt, innocent.

Reopening her eyes she spotted 2Dads and Dutchy at the end of the jetty, she calmly walked up the dunes and along the jetty. She approached and cleared her throat, they both spun round, 2Dads smiled but Dutchy immediately turned back to face the water.

"X! What are you doing here?"

"Ah, was just out for a walk…"

"Cool…"

He watched as her eyes darted over to Dutchy every few seconds, he tilted his head wondering why Dutchy was being so unresponsive.

"Oh, so, what are you up to this weekend?"

Dutchy's eyes widened, what was he doing? He kicked 2Dad's shoe, Kate frowned not understanding what was going on. 2Dads shook his head and kicked him back.

"It's Dutchy's birthday, we were thinking of having a bit of a thing at the pub…"

Kate looked back over to him trying to get sense of whether he wanted her there.

"Oh, umm…"

2Dads pouted and smiled a gummy smile.

"Come ooooon!"

"We'll see…"

He rolled his eyes as he rose from his chair.

"Ah, I gotta use the little boys room, here, sit, hold my rod…"

2Dads let out a giggle realising how it would have sounded, he glanced up to meet Kate's eyes, she laughed and shook her head.

"Sure…"

He opened his mouth to say something else, but she placed her hand over his mouth.

"You get one…"

He nodded and walked off. Kate sat cautiously in 2Dads chair and looked over to Dutchy trying to catch his eye.

"Hi…"

Dutchy sighed and reeled in his line ignoring her, she sighed and rose from the chair as he recast his line.

"Wait…"

She slowly placed her self back on the chair. Dutchy placed his rod in the holder and maneuvered his chair to face her but kept his focus just off centre.

"I just want you to see it through my eyes. Suddenly, my girlfriend doesn't have the job I thought she did, she hasn't moved to Cairns to be my XO, she has some secret job that initially was targeting one of us. Then at the same time I'm not allowed to know anything about it, all I know it that it's risky and she deal with criminals. Also, one day, soon, she was just going to leave, someone I have opened up to and could see myself with might just leave, because, what? She never cared for me at all? How am I supposed to feel about that? How do I not feel like I'm the only one who is serious about this relationship? When were you going to tell me?"

Kate sat there speechless, she didn't have a response. It was all true, he had every right to feel the way he did.

"I don't know what to say..."

"Well, maybe that's the problem..."

"Dutchy, for what it's worth I'm sorry…"

She rose from the chair, she could sit there and hurt him any longer, maybe this was her way out, she had inadvertently alienated him without trying.

Pulling into her driveway she was stunned, she didn't know how she got home, her mind was full of thoughts of Dutchy, and how much of a terrible of a person she was.

She opened a new message on her phone but hesitated before sending it. She was going to make this more complicated involving someone else in her plans but she needed to fix it. She winced as she typed the message and pressed send.

An hour later there was a knock on her door, she placed a smile on her face as she swung it open.

"2Dads!"

"Hey, X!"

She moved aside to let him in, he walked in his eyes darting around, overwhelmed by his excitement.

"I've always wondered what your place looked like…"

Kate suddenly felt self conscious, which was ridiculous, this was 2Dads, why should she feel self conscious around him? Unless, she actually cared about what he thought of her.

"So, what's up? "

She snapped out of her head and smiled.

"Ah, you want a coffee or something?"

"I'll take a beer, if you've got one…"

"Yeah, sure…"

She walked into the kitchen as 2Dads inspected her living area. He ran his hand over he bookshelf scanning the titles of her books, he picked up the photo of her and Dutchy and laughed. Hearing footsteps he turned and smiled and held up the frame.

"That's cute, you guys been hanging out?"

She handed him the beer, she wasn't sure if it was a question or a statement. She took a sip of her wine, 2Dads could see she was a little uneasy and sat on the couch.

"So, your message was well, unclear…"

She sat next top him and cleared her throat.

"Oh, umm, you mentioned Dutchy's birthday…"

"Oh, yeah, umm, I could have let you know the details over a message or something…"

She spun the glass around hand nervous about her suggestion.

"Well, umm, I thought we could throw a party or something…"

2Dads ears pricked up at the word 'party'.

"Oh, yeah… Definitely!"

"Just didn't take you for the party type, that's all…"

"Well, you barely know me…"

Kate winced, she didn't mean for it to come out like that.

"Sorry, knee jerk reaction…"

"It's okay, X, I get it, I mean you're not exactly new now, but I get it. It's hard to insert yourself into a new crew who have been working together for years, but we're pretty cool if you want to get to know us…"

Kate laughed at his confidence, 2Dads picked at the label wondering if he should ask the next question in his head.

"So, umm, why do we barely know you?"

The smile fell from her face, she hesitated, did he really care?

"Ah, I dunno…"

"Well, the boss thinks you're a keeper."

"Huh?"

"Well, he hasn't had an argument with you yet, by this time he's normally had enough. I mean, it's more that the other XO's have been, I dunno… yuck…"

Kate laughed as his juvenile words.

"So, I'm not… yuck?"

He laughed as he took a sip of his beer.

"No, you're alright… but you know, we like to hang out as a family, so come to the pub when we invite you, okay?"

She grinned and nudged him with her shoulder, it was nice to feel apart of what ever this was.

"Okay…"

He nudged her back and raised his eyebrows.

"So, we've got a party to plan…"

A couple of nights later 2Dads drove Dutchy to his party, they pulled up at Kate's house. Dutchy's eyes widened and he whipped his head around to face 2Dads.

"What are we doing here?"

"Ah, what's the problem? We're picking up the X before we go to the pub…"

Dutchy folded his arms over his chest and sulked like a child, 2Dads hit him on the arm.

"Why are you acting weird? Are you guys having a fight or something?"

Dutchy stared out the window refusing to make eye contact.

"No!"

"Well, come in then…"

Dutchy stood at the door unimpressed Kate swung it open.

"Hey guys!"

She took a step out towards Dutchy, she was too close, he stepped back.

"Oh, Dutchy, I need your height for something… come with me…"

She grabbed his hand, he felt a shiver run up his body at her touch. She pulled him into the house and flipped on the lights, the crew jumped up yelling surprise.

Dutchy looked at 2Dads while he dragged him in the house.

"Any excuse for a party, hey?"

"Hey don't look at me, this was all the X."

He frowned as Frankie ran up and gave him a hug.

"Happy birthday!"

She held a cocktail glass in his face.

"Hey, have you had one of these... Charge called it a Guava, something..."

Kate immediately snatched the cup out of her hand and looked for somewhere to dump it, there wasn't a good spot so she sculled it.

"Sorry, you don't want to find out the consequences of that drink!"

She handed Frankie a cider.

"This is safer...trust me..."

2Dads picked up the camera sitting on the bench and flipped open the screen. He pointed the camera at Dutchy trying to figure out the settings.

"This is fancy!"

Dutchy rolled his eyes and took the camera from him.

"It's not a toy 2Dads, it cost more than a month of your pay!"

"Well why's it sitting around then?"

Kate interupted hoping he wouldn't be mad.

"I got Frankie to bring it, thought we could take a few photos of the family…"

2Dads gave her a freidnl punch on the arm.

"Aww, X, you said family…"

Dutchy rolled his eyes and snatched the camera away from 2Dads. He snapped a few photos of 2Dads and Kate, Charge jumped in front of the camera.

"Ugh, you don't want that face on your memory card! You better at least have one model in the picture."

Charge struck a pose and 2Dads did the same.

"C'mon X, get in here..."

Kate shook her head, but 2Dads pulled her into the group. Soon everyone was involved and Dutchy attempted to take a group selfie. Kate peered over his shoulder trying to see. Dutchy smiled and tilted the camera towards her.

"That's a good one!"

A little while later they party was in full swing and the birthday boy was the happiest drunk of all. Kate sat out on the deck, she needed some air, Dutchy followed her out and sat next to her.

"So, this was your idea? Why?"

"Isn't it obvious?"

"No."

"I'm trying to show you that I care."

He took a swig of his beer and shook his head.

"Okay, well if you care today would be one day?"

"Huh?"

"You said, I promise, one day, I will tell you everything. I assume that's not today?"

Kate's gaze focused on the ground.

"No, but... Dutchy... please can we just be friendly tonight. Everyone is here, and it's you're birthday, c'mon."

He went to rise from the chair but she pulled him back down, he fell backwards and shook his head. He sat there for a moment but stumbled back to his feet and turned to face her, his face full of anger.

"No! You know why? Because, I love you, and you can't seem to see that!"

They both froze, Kate wasn't expecting him to say it, but neither was he. He flopped back on to the seat and ran his fingers through his hair.

"I can't believe I'm telling you, I love you, for the first time in the middle of an argument…"

Kate couldn't believe it either, but the truth was, she didn't want to hear it at all.

"Dutchy, you've had a bit to drink…"

He stumbled off the chair and went back inside.

A few hours later Dutchy was in fine form, drinking while he was feeling the way he was wasn't the best idea. The room was spinning, he made his way to Kate's room and flopped into the bed and buried his head into her pillows. Kate snuck into her bedroom and turned on the light, Dutchy jolted upright, Kate let out a squeal.

"Dutchy, what are you doing in here?!"

She sat beside him, she could see her wasn't doing so well. She reached over and ran her hand over his face, he placed his hand on top of hers.

"Why can't you feel what I feel..."

He slurred his words, Kate's heart beat faster, she lay beside him, she couldn't resist his saddened expression, it was killing her. She slowly leaned in to kiss him seeing if he'd pull away, at that moment the door swung open, they froze and looked out the corner of their eyes.

"What the…"

Charge stood at the door with 2 guava mojos in his hand, everyone in the lounge had stopped and were staring at them laying on the bed.

"Oh, I guess you're really gonna need these now..."

He placed the drinks on the dresser and tiptoed backwards out the room and shut the door.

Kate lept off the bed and paced around the room trying not to lose it.

"Shit, shit..."

Dutchy quickly sobered up realising what had happened, Kate ran out of the room and out of her house. Dutchy stood there trying to think of a way to explain to everyone. There was a knock at the door, he sat on the bed as Mike entered.

"Boss, with all due respect, now is not a good time…"

Mike sat down next to him and sighed.

"Is it serious?"

Dutchy glanced up to him confused, he was expecting a lecture.

"What?"

"Dutchy, I know you, and well, I know how much you love the Hammersley and the crew. You have turned down promotions as it would remove you from the ship, so I can only assume that this is the real thing. You wouldn't break the rules otherwise, you know the consequences…"

Mike was right, he thought this was serious but Kate obviously had doubts. He rubbed his hands over his face and shook his head.

"I love her, Boss. Is that stupid?"

Mike pat him on the back feeling for him.

"Talking as your friend, no… but talking as your Boss, maybe. Does she feel the same…"

"I, I'm not sure god, I feel so stupid."

Mike rose from the bed not wanting to make him feel any worse.

"Dutchy, you've put me in a difficult position…"

"Boss, I…"

Mike headed for the door, he didn't want to be the one to punish him but he knew the consequences of his actions.

"I'll give you the rest of your leave to sort this out, before I have to say something…"

Dutchy nodded, he knew he shouldn't be angry with Mike, it wasn't his fault. Mike turned before leaving.

"Umm, should I let everyone know that the party is over?"

"Thanks, and Boss, I really am sorry…"

Mike attempted a reassuring smile and closed the door, Dutchy flopped back on to the bed with his hands over his face.

"Fucking feelings…"

End of Chapter 14.


	16. Chapter 16

Promise to Love Me, Even When You Hate Me.

Chapter 16.

The next morning Dutchy knocked on Kate's door, he didn't know how she was going to react, he just hoped that she wouldn't shut him out again. He held his breath as she opened the door and walked away, he entered the house and closed the door. Kate stood in the middle of her lounge room, her arms wrapped around herself.

"I'm sorry for leaving you to deal with stuff last night…"

He stood close and rubbed his hand up and down her arm for comfort.

"It's okay, I understand…"

She glanced up to him and quickly looked away.

"I just, Dutchy, we can't do this…"

She stepped away, his arms falling by his side.

"What?"

He couldn't believe it, after everything, she was giving up.

"I know, but after last night I've realised that it's not fair to either of us, we both love our jobs, we…"

Dutchy wasn't going to let her win this argument this time, he forcefully grabbed her by the shoulders trying to get her to see sense.

"Kate, what are you scared of? I would have thought by now you would know you can tell me anything..."

She wished she could, but if she did she could lose everything, including him. He slid his hands down her arms and held her hands, Kate closed her eyes wishing she didn't feel the way she did about him.

"Kate, I meant what I said last night…"

She clenched her eyes closed somehow hoping it would make him stop.

"Don't, don't say it..."

He leaned in and kissed her, she pulled away and looked into his eyes, they glistened from the tears forming. She didn't know what to do, this was the happiest she had ever been in her life, and yet she couldn't enjoy it.

She exhaled and gave in, she couldn't hold it in any more, closing her eye she pressed her lips against his, the kiss became deeper. Her body took over, she ran her hands over his chest, down his waist and untucked his shirt. He stopped and held her hands tight looking into her eyes.

"Kate, are you sure?"

She swallowed hard and nodded ever so slightly. He tucked the stray hairs behind her ear and swept his arms under her legs and carried her into the bedroom.

They lay intertwined in each other's embrace, Kate lay on her side in the little spoon position. Dutchy ran his hand along her arm and kissed it, he leaned over to see if she was awake, her eyes were closed.

"Kate?"

She didn't respond, he kissed the top of her head and whispered.

"I love you..."

He wrapped his arm around her waist and snuggled into his pillow, Kate's eyes were still closed but a single tear escaped her eye.

The next morning she was the first to wake, she felt Dutchy's bare body next to hers, his arm firmly wrapped around her. She gently lifted his arm and slid herself out of the bed and tiptoed into the bathroom.

Leaning on the basin with both hands for support, she glared at herself in the mirror.

"What have you done?"

She splashed some water over her face somehow hoping it would take away her sins. She didn't hear Dutchy get up and jumped as he wrapped his arms around her and kissed her neck.

"Morning..."

"Ah, hi…"

"Can we just spend the whole day in bed?"

He spun her round to face him, the sad look on her face confused him.

"You okay?"

"Yeah, just, yeah, I'm fine…"

They lay in bed facing each other, Dutchy couldn't wipe the smile off his face. Kate couldn't help but shake the dark cloud that hung over her head. She had just made things a lot worse, something that she didn't think it could get. Dutchy propped his head up with his hand wondering why Kate looked so concerned.

"What's on your mind?"

She shook her head not wanting to answer, Dutchy sat up further and exhaled sharply.

"Okay, I'll tell you what's on my mind. This job you have, I know it means a lot to you and I want you to know that I'm not going to ask you to change your whole life, if you have to go away for work for a bit, well, we'll find a way to deal with it right?"

She hated that he was being so rational, that he had an answer for everything.

"Ah, well, I think we've got bigger issue, being caught."

"Kate, we'll deal with it…"

"But…"

He placed his finger over her lips.

"We will figure it out, love always wins right? Plus, all I want to do today is veg out with you and think about nothing…"

They leaned on the headboard, Kate felt more anxious than before, being caught was technically a way out, she could 'transfer' and he would be none the wiser but he didn't seem concerned. Dutchy turned on Netflix, he frowned seeing the number of the next episode.

"Have you been watching this without me?"

Kate covered her head with the covers, he snatched them off and tickled her, she squirmed and screamed.

"It's okay, I've been watching it too!"

She snuggled back into each other's embrace and he pressed play, Kate watched hoping that there weren't any other monologues that mocked her life. Dutchy squeezed her and smiled.

"Didn't the last one kill you? The vows Alex wrote for Izzy?"

Kate cleared her throat trying to think of something to say, why was it all about love and relationships.

"Ah, yeah, they were sweet..."

_Meredith Voice over: We spend our whole lives worrying about the future, planning for the future, trying to predict the future, as if figuring it out will somehow cushion the blow. But the future is always changing. The future is the home of our deepest fears and our wildest hopes. But one thing is certain when it finally reveals itself, the future is never the way we imagined it._

Kate sat there mortified, why was her favourite show betraying her? She hoped the next episode wouldn't do the same. Dutchy gave her a squeeze as the next episode started to play.

"Finally, they're getting married…"

Kate shifted uncomfortably in the bed, more marriage talk isn't what she needed.

"Yeah…"

He gave her a friendly shove.

"Oh, c'mon, I thought you would have been screaming for joy that they were finally getting married…"

"Shh, I'm missing it…"

_Derek stood in front of Meredith in the locker rooms._

_"I wanna be with you forever, and you wanna be with me forever. In order to do that we need to make vows. A commitment, A contract, give me a piece of paper…"_

_Meredith patted her pockets, they were empty._

_"I don't. I… I have post its…"_

_Derek took the post its from Meredith and took out a pen._

_"Okay, what do we wanna promise each other?"_

_"That you'll love me, even when you hate me…"_

Dutchy tickled Kate again, she let out a squawk.

"We should promise to love each other, even when we hate each other, after how many times you wanna fight me!"

Kate froze, there was the L word again, he kissed her on the top of the head.

"Don't you think that's a good one?"

She refused to answer and pretended to be too involved about what was happening on the show.

_Derek sat on the bench and wrote on the post it._

_"To love each other... even when we hate each other. No running. Ever. Nobody walks out. No matter what happens."_

_Meredith sat beside him and smiled._

_"No running."_

_"What else?"_

_"That we'll take care of each other even when we're old and smelly and senile. And... if I get Alzheimer's and I forget you…"_

_"I will you remind you who I am, every day. To take care when old, senile, smelly. This is forever. _

_Derek finished writing on the post-it, and hands it and the pen to Meredith._

_"Sign."_

_Meredith looked up to him and smiled._

_"This is our wedding? A post-it?"_

_Derek nodded and held the post it out for her to sign._

_"Mhmm. Well, if you sign it."_

_Meredith signs it happily and then hands it back to Derek._

_"Now what?"_

_"Now, I kiss the bride."_

_He kisses her tenderly, Meredith smiles as they kiss._

_"Married."_

_Derek nodded and rose from the bench._

_"Married."_

_Derek put the post-it note with their vows and signatures on the back of her cubby, then turns to her._

Kate coudn't stand it, it was too much.

"Ah, I gotta pee…"

Dutchy paused the episode, Kate jumped out of bed and ran to the bathroom, she sat on the edge of the bath clutching her chest. She was afraid that she was going to hyperventilate, how did she let it get to this?

A few minutes later she exited the bathroom to find Dutchy getting dressed.

"Sorry, I totally forgot I had a meeting..."

She frowned tilting her head.

"A meeting?"

He grabbed his phone and wallet off the nightstand.

"Yeah, shouldn't be too long! I'll be back before lunch!"

He kissed her on the cheek and ran out the room.

An hour or so later Dutchy returned to her house, he let himself in and placed photo frames around the house. Kate walked in from the deck wondering what he was doing.

"Ah, what are you doing?"

He turned and smiled at her and continued to place the frames on her bookcase.

"Making sure you never want to leave…"

She quickly walked over and stood next to him, smiling she picked up one of the photo frames with a picture of 2Dads, Charge and herself. Dutchy leaned his head on her shoulder and admired the photo.

"Those guys, I don't know what I'd do without them…"

She couldn't let it go any further, she needed to put a stop to it. Being caught was the way out, it was the only option.

"So, umm, Dylan, we really need to talk about what we're going to do, everyone saw us, the Boss saw us, he's going to report…"

"He's given me till the end of my leave…"

"What?"

He straightened the frame unphased by her concern.

"To come up with a solution…"

"Okay, but I don't really see any other option, I mean, look, I'll transfer, I know I said I thought about staying but it's only fair. I mean, it may have happened anyway, you never know where my job is going to take me…"

"But you've just joined us, everyone loves you…"

She winced, she really wished he'd stop throwing the L word around. He took her by the hand and pulled her to the couch and sat.

"So, I had an idea, it's why I had a meeting today… so, as you know I've been doing some photography gigs, and I've actually sold some of my photos, so…"

Kate felt like she was going to pass out, she didn't know what was coming next but she knew it wasn't going to make her feel any better.

"I'm gonna leave the Navy…"

It took a second for her to register what he said, she desperately clutched his hands in a panic.

"No, Dutchy, you can't do that for me…"

He knew that would be her response, he let out a laugh.

"Kate, I wouldn't be doing it just for me, I'd be going it for us. Plus, I love photography and we could nearly have a normal life…"

She couldn't let him do this, if she let him leave and she left, it would leave him with no job and a broken heart, all because of her. She sat up and grabbed his arm forcefully, trying to make him see reason.

"You're being stupid!"

"I'm not, Kate! I've been thinking about this for a few days now..."

Kate rose from the couch, she needed to end it, it was going too far.

"So, you're just planning our life without consulting me?"

Dutchy wrinkled his face, he didn't understand why she was mad.

She ran out of the house and got into her car, she drove down to the beach and pulled out her phone. Tears streamed down her face as she dialled a number.

"You need to get me out, now! I don't care how, I just need to leave! Meet me at my house tomorrow!"

She hung up the phone and threw it on to the passenger's side, it rang startling her, it was Dutchy. She couldn't answer it, he would only try to convince her that everything was okay. She sat at the beach for what felt like hours, she couldn't go home in case he was waiting for her. After a few hours of driving around so he couldn't find her, she headed home. Pulling into her street she slowed looking around for his car before pulling into her driveway.

As she flopped onto the couch, there was a knock on the door, she ignored it. The banging got louder and louder a voice called out.

"Kate, open the door!"

She sat there, tears welling in her eyes, he called out again.

"I'm not leaving until you speak to me."

She let out a huff as she rose from the couch, swinging open the door she attempted to keep it together.

"What?"

Dutchy barged past her and into the house.

"What is going on?"

"Nothing, it's just, you can't leave the Hammersley for me..."

He stood in front of her making her look at him.

"Kate, I don't understand, I love you and I'm pretty sure you love me, I mean, we just slept together, and I don't think you would have done that unless..."

Kate stood there trying to catch her breath, there it was, the four letter word again, Dutchy let out a scoff annoyed by her silence.

"Kate?"

She knew what she needed to do, taking a deep breath in she stared him down.

"Dylan, I don't love you..."

She watched as his face froze and he held his breath. This hurt her so much more that it hurt him, she clenched her hands trying to stay strong.

"I, I don't love you, okay?"

He knew there was something wrong, he refused to believe that she didn't feel the same way.

"Kate, is this about your job? You're scared that you have to leave? I'll come with you!"

She threw her hands in the air and raised her voice.

"No, Dutchy stop! I just don't love you! Why can't you understand that?"

He raised his voice to match hers.

"Because, I don't believe you…"

He took a deep breath in trying to calm himself.

"Kate, if you're scared, I get it, you have never been able..."

She knew he was stubborn, she had to keep going.

"Don't patronise me, Dutchy, don't try to find some reason why. I'm telling you I don't feel the same, and I think it's best if we end things now..."

Dutchy couldn't understand, he hoped if he gave her some time that she would come to her senses. He left without saying another word, Kate walked up to the door and closed it, she placed her head on the door.

"Goodbye Dutchy..."

Kate sat on the couch crying, her front door opened causing her to jump, it was Warren. She quickly wiped the tears from her cheeks, he was the last person she wanted to see her cry.

"What are you doing here?"

"You called Shaun and said you wanted out!"

She rose from the couch and tried to avoid his focus, hoping he wouldn't notice she'd been crying.

"Yeah, I called Shaun, not you..."

"Well, he's busy, so you got me...why do you need to get out now? I thought that you got along with this guy?"

"Well, I've come to the conclusion that he's innocent, so case closed, and it's just, it's time..."

He walked into the lounge room wondering why she was acting strangely, he caught a glimpsed of her blood-shot eyes and tear stained cheeks.

"Oh, my god..."

She glanced over to him for a split second.

"What?"

"You've fallen for him..."

She shook her head furiously and paced to room avoiding the question.

"Have you slept with him?"

She let out a scoff pretending it was an inconceivable accusation.

"Warren, please…"

She sat on the couch, her mind replaying the fight with Dutchy in her head. Warren and rubbed her back, she flinched a little next expecting his touch.

"Are you okay?"

She looked up to him wondering where the snarky comments had gone, he noticed her questioning expression and sighed.

"Kate, we dated, it didn't work, but I still care about you…"

She rose from the couch not wanting to reminisce.

"How we gonna do this?"

They sat there in silence for a moment, Warren rose from the couch and headed to the door.

"He's innocent?"

Kate nodded, he hesitated for a moment and sighed.

"I'll be back..."

Warren left leave Kate guessing his plan, she glanced at her phone vibrating on the table, there were multiple messages from Dutchy.

"Promise to Love me, even when you hate me..."

She shook her head and pushed the phone away from her. Sitting there with her thoughts she couldn't bear the silence, she turned on her stereo and stomped up the stairs and started to pack her belongings.

A little while later Warren knocked on Kate's door holding a large bag. She swung it open and let him inside. He looked at the multiple suitcases next to her and shook his head.

"You can't take those?"

She placed her hands on her hips.

"Why?"

There was a knock on the door, she ushered Warren into the spare room. The smile dropped from her face as she saw it was Dutchy on her doorstep.

"Dutchy, I've said all I want to say..."

He barged past her and paced around her living room.

"You can't treat me like this Kate, I know you love me and you're scared."

He shoved her feelings deep down, she brought out the old Kate, the cold, unforgiving person she had turned into before meeting him.

"Don't tell me what I feel."

"So, you're telling me that the past few months have meant nothing, that we didn't make a connection with each other."

She shrugged acting like it didn't kill her to act the way she was.

"Maybe you were just desperate to connect with anyone, Dylan."

He was livid, he couldn't believe she was doing this to him, after all they had been through, after the experiences they had shared.

"I can't believe you! You know, if this is true, and I'm starting to believe it, maybe you've been working undercover too long to realise when people truly care! You're not the person I thought you were…"

Kate held her breath as he stormed out of her house, tears streamed down her cheeks. A creak of a floorboard startled her, she had forgotten that Warren was in her house.

"Wow, harsh…"

"So, what's your plan?"

Kate paced around her living room waiting to hate his plan. Warren pulled a gun out of his bag and 2 bullets out of his pocket, she turned and froze hearing him load the gun.

"Ah, what are you doing?"

He spun the barrel round, it clicked into position.

"Well, you said you needed to be gone!"

She stepped back from him, but her grabbed her hand forcefully pulling her towards him. She tried to struggle out of his grip but he was too strong.

"Warren, you're hurting me..."

He placed the gun in his pocket and puled a syringe, Kate's eyes widened scared about what was about to happen.

"What is that?"

He jerked her toward him and removed the cap with his mouth, as he stabbed the needle into her arm she let out an ear-piercing scream. He released her from his grip and she stumbled backwards rubbing the entry point, her eyes full of panic.

"Warren, what are you doing?"

She could feel her heartbeat in her head, she thought it should be racing, but it beat slower and slower. He retrieved the gun from his pocket and placed it on the table.

"It's the only option, Kate, I'm sorry…"

Outside the house, the sun had begun to set, a pinky orange haze filled the sky. It was a still night, the chirping of crickets echoed in the breeze. Suddenly, the sound of 2 gunshots rang out, birds scattered from the trees. Kate's front door swung open, and she stumbled out of the house, bloody dripping from her abdomen. She staggered down the path to the beach, tears streaming from her eyes. Collapsing on the dunes she managed to pull her phone from her pocket and send a message.

"Help.."

Everything was blurry and in slow motion, sounds were muffled. She didn't know how long she had been laying there as she heard thumping footsteps approach, then a presence beside her.

"Kate..."

Dutchy fumbled his phone out of his pocket and dialled triple zero.

"Yes, I need, an ambulance and police, my girlfriend has been shot. I'm just at the beach, near Hadley reserve."

He chucked his phone beside him and placed his hand over her blood-soaked clothes, he winced and more blood poured from her stomach.

"It's gonna be okay, I promise."

He swallowed hard knowing he needed to keep calm, closing his eyes he took a deep breath in and reopened them as he exhaled. She lay on the ground, her body twitching. You can do this, just breathe. His hands ran over her stomach searching for the entry point, he couldn't find one, there was too much blood.

"You can't promise that."

Lifting her head she cringed seeing the amount of blood that covered them both. She lowered her head back on the ground and clutched her hands on top of his. He grit his teeth knowing she was right, but he wasn't going to let her know that.

"Yes, I can."

He tore off his shirt and placed it over her stomach, pushing down he attempted to stop the bleeding. His eyes darted up to her face, it was draining of colour, like the life was being sucked out of her. Their eyes met, he hoped his didn't give away the terror that he was feeling. Raising a hand he wiped the tears that were forming hoping she wouldn't notice. He replaced his hand firmer than before, determined not to let her down.

"Don't do this to me, please, I beg you."

She let out a scoff and her eyes met his.

"Beg? I've never heard you beg before."

He watched as more blood poured from the wound as her stomach pulsated from her attempt to laugh.

"Don't talk, you're making it worse."

She coughed trying to catch her breath.

"Oh, just because I'm dying doesn't mean you can boss me around."

He clenched his jaw, how dare she joke, he gripped her hand tighter and leaned down, his face centimetres from hers.

"You're NOT dying!"

His tone was rough, he was angry at her for even suggesting it. Tears ran down the edges of her eyes, she hated that he was with her in this moment.

"Just hang in there, help is on the way..."

He looked into her eyes hoping that his stern expression would make her believe him. She shook her head as she tried to blink away the tears, her bloodstained hand reached up and caressed his cheek.

"It's too late, I'm sorry..."

He let out a sob and lowered his face to hers, their lips met, the kiss lingered, he didn't want it to end. He felt her exhale and pull away, he didn't want to open his eyes, he knew what he would find. Taking a deep breath in, he opened one eye followed by the other, she lay on the ground still, her eyes closed. He shook her slightly, not wanting to believe it, she didn't respond.

"No! Don't do this to me!?"

None of it felt real, he was in a daze and didn't hear the roar of the ambulance pull behind him. The paramedics ran to his side and snatched her body out of his reach.

"How long has she been down?"

He sat there frozen, he watched as their mouths moved but he couldn't hear a thing.

"Sir?"

The paramedic shook his head then nodded at his teammate.

"Right, start CPR..."

He sat there helpless, sound began to return, he could hear them count out the compressions. He couldn't look, he hung his head and his eyes focused on his hands. As the blood ran down his palms, he raised them to his face feeling like they weren't a part of his body. He quickly wiped it off as he heard fast approaching footsteps behind him. They pulled him in various directions, multiple voices demanded answers to their questions but he couldn't respond. He looked back at the paramedics trying their hardest to revive her, he heard one of his crewmates whisper to the other.

"Is she?"

A gruff voice replied before he could finish the sentence.

"Don't even say it."

He watched as the paramedic checked for any vitals, his heart sank as a look of hopelessness covered their faces and they stood from her body. They approached the group, they didn't need to say it, they all knew the outcome. He broke away from the group and ran and scooped up her body.

"No! She can't be, No!"

He held her close and collapsed onto his knees sobbing uncontrollably.

"Please, no..."

He felt a hand squeeze his shoulder and looked up to see an unfamiliar face.

"You need to let her go, this is a crime scene now."

He couldn't do it, it meant that she was gone. The Police Officer looked at his crew mates for help. A familiar voice whispered in his ear.

"C'mon mate, let them do their job."

He gently lay her body back on to the ground and gave her a kiss on the cheek. A pair of hands helped him rise from the ground and he stumbled away from the scene. He sat on the wall that divided the footpath from the beach with his head in his hands. He heard more footsteps approach and looked up, another familiar face appeared, his boss's.

"Guys, what's going on?"

He stood from the wall and his boss stopped abruptly in front of him, his eyes widen seeing the amount of blood that covered him, it must have looked like a scene from a horror movie.

"What happened?"

He couldn't answer, it was his fault. He knew she was stubborn, they had argued, but he was the one who left her alone.

A pair of hands forcefully grabbed both of his shoulders making him stumble backwards, his boss's voice boomed in his ears.

"What happened? Who was injured?"

He shook his head staring into nothingness.

"She's not injured, she's dead..."

_Meredith Voice over: Did you say it? "I love you... I don't ever want to live without you... You changed my life." Did you say it? Make a plan... Set a goal… Work toward it, but every now and then, look around. Drink it in... because… this is it. It might all be gone tomorrow._

End of Chapter 16.

P.S. If you really want to feel the emotion in this last voice over, google the scene: Grey's Anatomy Did You Say It, the first you tube video, 1.46 mins long, never fails to make me cry. You know, just in case you need me to ruin your day more. LOL! xx


	17. Chapter 17

Promise to Love Me, Even When You Hate Me

Chapter 17.

Present time.

Dutchy stared blankly into space unable to register what had just happened. He closed his eyes as the breeze picked up, feeling a cold sensation as his shirt flapped against his stomach he reopened his eyes and he looked down. Running his finger along the seam, a pool of blood gathered, he flinched as it dropped to the ground. His eyes refocused on his hands, they were red, covered in blood, her blood. Something in the distance caught his eye, he turned his head slightly, the sheet that covered her body fluttered above the ground exposing her face. He couldn't stop staring, not believing she was gone. Two paramedics lifted her lifeless body onto a gurney, he ran over to them and placed his hand onto her arm

"Where are you taking her?"

"Ah, to the hospital, the coroner is done, but because this is suspicious they do a postmortem."

Dutchy stood there refusing to let go of her arm, Mike saw the awkward exchange and and walked over and led him away.

"Dutchy, the police need to speak to you..."

Mike squeezed his arm as two police officers approached.

"Do you want me to hang around?"

Dutchy nodded as the detective took out his note pad.

"I'm Senior Detective Harris and this is Constable Taylor, your name, Sir?"

Dutchy's gaze were focused on the ambulance as he spoke.

"Petty Officer, Dylan Mulholland."

"And what was your relationship to the deceased?"

He focused back on the officers for a split second, _deceased, she was dead, why didn't they just say it like that?_

"Kate, her name is Kate..."

"Ah, yes, what was your relationship to Kate?"

He hesitated for a moment, she was a lot of things to him, looking over to Mike he decided to go with the simplest answer.

"She was my, umm, my superior."

"Okay, and how did you come to discover her here?"

Dutchy looked up to Detective Harris' face, his eyes were glaring straight back at him.

"I, umm, I followed the trail of blood..."

"Right, and you found her here?"

"Well, yes..."

Dutchy's focus was distracted as he heard the ambulance door slam shut, he went to walk off to follow it, but Detective Harris stood in front of him blocking his path.

"Sir, I need you to stay here, we need your version of events..."

Dutchy ignored him and tried to push past him but he grabbed his arm, Dutchy glared at his hand on his arm and shrugged off his grip.

"Excuse me? Events? I found her here, dying, what more is there?"

"I don't know, you tell me… what led you here? How did you know she was in this exact position?"

Dutchy was sick of being treated like the criminal, he stepped towards Harris and raised his voice.

"I told you, I followed the trail..."

Detective Harris raised an eyebrow and wrote in his notepad. Dutchy's frustration increased, why was he answering pointless questions when they should be looking for a suspect? He hesitated for a moment realising the undertone of the detective's questions.

"Wait, am I a suspect?"

"Sir, were just trying to eliminate you from our inquiries, you were found with her body, you disturbed evidence."

His eyes widened, he was a suspect, he couldn't believe it.

"Disturbed evidence? Are you kidding me? I was trying to stop the bleeding! This is ridiculous!"

Constable Taylor held up his hands trying to calm him.

"Sir, just calm down!"

Dutchy shook his head, he couldn't listen to their theory, he went to walk away but Constable Taylor grabbed his arm and pulled him back.

"Sir, are you refusing to answer our questions?"

Dutchy wrinkled his face and shrugged off his grip.

"No, I'm refusing to listen to your bullshit theories!"

He went to walk away again but Constable Taylor grabbed his cuffs and wrapped them around one of his wrists.

"Sir, we will detain you..."

"You can't detain me, I have answered all the questions I'm legally required too."

Detective Harris gave Constable Taylor a nod, and he wrapped the other cuff around Dutchy's wrist.

"Then I'm arresting you on the suspicion of murder..."

Dutchy attempted to resist and tried to struggle out of the cuffs.

"You can't be serious?"

"Sir, you were seen with the victim, you have her blood all over you, there are no other suspects and you are agitated and refusing to answer questions."

Mike tried to diffuse the situation, he could barely believe what was happening himself.

"Senior Detective, please, of course he's agitated, he has just witnessed one of his friends die."

Detective Harris closed his notepad and put it back in his pocket.

"I'm sorry, Commander, I'm just doing my job. "

They led Dutchy to the police car, Charge ran over to Mike as they placed Dylan into the car.

"Boss, what the hell is happening?"

"Ah, they just arrested Dutchy..."

"For what?"

"Kate's murder."

The crew stood there gob smacked as Dutchy was driven away in the police car.

Dutchy sat in the dim interview room tapping his fingers on the table. Constable Taylor and a different Detective walked in carrying a folder.

"I'm Detective Summerside, Senior Detective Harris has been called to another case."

He sat down and pressed play on the tape recorder beside them.

"Recorded interview between Constable Taylor, Detective Summerside and Dylan Mulholland at Cairns Police Station on the 16th of November 2019. So, Mr Mulholland, you were friends with Ms McGregor?"

Dutchy refused to make eye contact with Detective Summerside and focused on his leg that bounced up and down.

"Yes..."

"And you went to her house because?"

"She sent me a message saying, help."

"Right, and you arrived at her house, and then what?"

Dutchy's leg bounced faster, he closed his eyes trying to calm himself. Clenching his fist in his lap he exhaled.

"I got there, her front door was wide open, and the place was trashed."

Detective Summerside flipped through his folder and glanced back and forth from Dutchy to the papers in front of him.

"Okay, well I have a statement from a neighbour saying she heard a male

voice arguing with Kate earlier, and later on something that sounded like 2 gun shots..."

"Okay, what's your point?"

Detective Summerside leaned over the desk and stared him down.

"Was that man you?"

Dutchy glanced up to him for the first time and leaned over and held his glare.

"No! I'm telling you, I got to her house, it was trashed, I saw a trail of blood, I followed it, then found her on the beach."

Detective Summerside sighed and pulled out a plastic evidence bag which contained Kate's phone.

"So, we have possession of Ms McGregor's phone, we can't find any text messages like you've described."

"What?"

Dylan took out his phone and searched through the messages, they weren't there either.

"Wait, something's happened... I, I think I need to speak to a lawyer..."

Detective Summerside slammed the folder closed with a satisfied look on his face, he glanced at Constable Taylor and let out a scoff.

"I thought as much."

An hour later Dylan stepped out of the interview room escorted by a lawyer and Detective Summerside.

"Thank you for your cooperation, Mr Mulholland, now, you are restricted to the Cairns area while we conduct our investigation, so that means shore work only."

Dylan rolled his eyes and walked out of the station, Mike had waited out the front for him.

"Dylan, are you okay?"

His mind was a mess, they asked so many questions that he couldn't answer, they made him feel guilty.

"I don't know, umm, I just, this all feels like a bad dream…"

Mike sighed and led him to his car.

"Why don't we go back to mine and we'll have a stiff drink."

Dylan sat on Mike's couch with his head in his hands, Mike placed a glass in front of him.

"Here..."

Dylan swiped the glass off the table and swallowed it in one mouthful and replaced his head in his hands.

"She's gone..."

Mike sighed and sat next to him taking a sip from his glass

"Did you tell them you were together?"

Dutchy cringed as he shook his head and poured himself another, Mike raised an eyebrow surprised at his answer.

"Why not?"

Dutchy spun the glass around in his hand.

"I just didn't… didn't think it would help my case…"

"But Dutchy, you're not guilty…"

"I know, but they don't have anyone else, I know how these things go."

Mike understood to a point, but he wasn't sure that it was the best idea, they sat there in silence for a moment. Mike jumped as Dutchy slammed his glass on the table.

"It's gotta be related to the case he was working on..."

"Dutchy, we need to let the cops do their job, I had mentioned our discussion and they're looking into it."

"And in the meantime I just accept that I'm a suspect?"

"We just need to trust the system."

Dutchy let out a scoff and grabbed the bottle and poured Mike another glass while swallowing his.

"Trust the system? She was working for the system, and look where it got her..."

Dutchy leaned back on the couch as a tear rolled down his cheek, he couldn't sit there and listen to Mike's reasoning. He rose from the couch and headed for the door, Mike immediately followed.

"Where are you going?"

"Home…"

"You can stay here…"

"No, Reason is home by herself."

Mike tilted his head, he had no idea who or what Reason was, Dutchy sighed and picked up his keys.

"Our dog…"

Dutchy headed for the door, Mike chased after him and grabbed his keys.

"I'll drive you home…"

The next day Dutchy awoke to Reason licking his face, he opened on eye and let out a groan feeling like death. He winced realising he was on his lounge room floor, rubbing his eyes he heaved himself off the floor and fell back on to the couch. The previous day's events flooded into his mind, he shook his head trying to get Kate's face out of his head. He glanced over to to the bottle sitting on the table and dragged it towards him, he took a deep breath in and took a swig.

Later that afternoon Maxine sat in her office, her phone rang, she let out a huff and picked it up.

"White… What? Yeah, okay, just let him in…"

She slammed the phone back on the receiver and stood from her desk and opened her office door waiting for her unexpected visitor.

Dutchy stumbled into the door frame, she shook her head and pulled him into her office. She led him to her desk and forcefully pushed him into the chair.

"What do you think you're doing?"

He let out a scoff and rolled his eyes.

"More that the cops, that's for sure…"

Maxine sighed, she didn't want to be angry with him under the circumstances, but he was making it hard. She sat down next to him trying to put herself in his shoes.

"Yeah, Mike told me what happened… but do you really think getting drunk and turning up here is the solution?"

Dutchy hunched himself over his knees and rubbed his hands through his hair.

"I know, but, I just needed to know what you know…"

Maxine's face wrinkled as she tilted her head.

"What do you mean? I barely had a conversation with her."

Dutchy scoffed, why was everyone lying to him? He straightened himself and looked Maxine in the eyes.

"You're seriously telling me that you had no idea?"

"About?"

"Mike really didn't say anything?"

Maxine was now getting frustrated, she returned to her side of the desk, she didn't have time for guessing games.

"Petty Officer, what are you talking about?"

"Kate was undercover, well, she was in the Navy but working for the Drug Squad, or something, and no one seems to care… surely this could be linked to her murder?"

Maxine hesitated and her brow furrowed.

"Murder? Dutchy, I think we just need to let the cops do their job."

Dutchy jumped off his chair and paced the room unable to contain his frustration.

"It's ridiculous, there's more too it! There has to be!"

Maxine was concerned at his reaction, but this was not the time or the place to discuss his suspicions.

"Dylan, why don't you go home and I'll find out what I can… please."

Dylan sat on his couch drowning his sorrows, he wiped the tears from his eyes and took out his laptop and searched N.I.I.D. Only websites with vague descriptions appeared, he shoved the computer aside and picked up the bottle of scotch. Reason jumped up on to his lap and snuggled into his legs, Dutchy sighed and picked her up and held her close.

"It's only me and you now..."

He glanced around the room the picture of him and Kate from their hike up Windin Falls caught his eye, he rose from the couch and shoved the photo into the closest drawer.

There was a knock on the door, he sighed and swung it open, Maxine hesitated at the smell of booze that seeped from his skin.

"Ah, Dylan, hi…"

Dylan walked away from the door leaving Maxine standing there unsure whether she was welcome inside. She cautiously entered the house and sat on the couch, she tried not to let the judgement read over her face. Dutchy flopped on to the chair next to her as Reason scratched at her leg.

"Oh, I didn't realise you had a dog…"

She picked her up and gave her a pat.

"She's adorable…"

Dylan cleared his throat, he didn't feel like making chit chat.

"So, did you find anything?"

Maxine placed Reason back on the ground, she wasn't sure how she should approach her discovery.

"Ah, yeah, I got confirmation that Kate was undercover…"

"Yeah, I told you that, Mike and I met her boss… Have you heard anything about a funeral or will there be a service?"

Maxine's eyes wondered around the room, none or her answers would make him feel any better.

"Umm, well, there won't be one."

His body stiffened, did he hear her correctly? He shifted closer.

"What?"

"I'm sorry, Dylan, it's her wish."

"But, how do we get any closure? There were people that, that cared for her, that loved her, she wouldn't do that…"

His reaction confused Maxine, this was already an awkward conversation, so she decided to speak her mind.

"Dylan, not to sound insensitive, but from all accounts you two weren't that close…"

He sat there for a moment contemplating his answer, the truth wasn't going to get him in to trouble anymore, he didn't want to lie, it was like he was disrespecting her memory.

"We, we were together…"

Maxine wasn't sure how to respond, of course it agitated her that they had broken the rules but there was no point punishing him more, he had already been through enough. The information she needed to tell him was now a lot more difficult, she exhaled sharply and ripped the band aid.

"Dylan, there's more to her undercover work…"

He sighed and hunched himself over bracing himself.

"What?"

"She umm, she wasn't working for the drug squad."

He immediately brought his eyes up to meet hers.

"Huh?"

"Well, the good news is that she was in the Navy, her active service wasn't as long as first thought. But, by all accounts she was a great officer…"

"With all due respect Ma'am, can you just get to the, but…"

Maxine exhaled sharply and met Dutchy's distressed eyes.

"But, she wasn't working for the drug squad, it was a cover, she works, worked, for the N.I.I.D, she was investigating dodgy sailors."

Dutchy froze for a moment trying to make sense of the sentence, a few seconds of silence passed and he wrinkled his face.

"What?"

Maxine nodded unsure how else she could expand on her point. Dutchy grabbed the bottle and poured himself a drink, Maxine looked over to him disapproving. He rolled his eyes and got up to get her a glass, pouring her a drink he waved it in front of her face.

"C'mon, don't tell me that after that bombshell you don't need a drink?"

She reluctantly took the glass and took a large gulp.

"I didn't really believe it myself."

He sighed and leaned back on the couch.

"So she was lying, about everything…"

Dylan sat there with his thoughts, he couldn't believe that after everything they had been through, all the arguments they had about telling the truth, she had lied until the very end. He wondered how far it went, how could someone lie about things like her parents being murdered? And what upset him more was that he would never get an explanation from her, no closure.

He got up from the couch and retrieved the photo from the drawer, he walked into the kitchen and shoved into in to the bin. He returned to the lounge shaking his head.

"I think I need to be alone…"

Maxine didn't want to leave him alone, she took out her phone and sent a message.

"I don't think that's a good idea, I'll go but I'll send someone else…"

Dutchy didn't reply, he couldn't, he was still questioning every interaction that he and Kate ever had. Maxine rose from the couch and gave his shoulder squeeze and left.

Thirty minutes later 2Dads walked into his house without knocking, Dutchy barely look up, he sat beside him and cleared his throat.

"So, you wanna talk about it?"

Dylan's eyes darted up to 2Dads face then back down at his glass.

"What's there to talk about?"

"Ah, you were arrested for Kate's murder?"

Dutchy shook his head and filled his glass.

"I didn't do it…"

2Dads frowned and snatched the bottle from his grasp.

"Okay, you need to stop this, if you think you have to tell me you didn't kill your girlfriend then…"

Dutch froze for a moment and sheepishly looked over to 2Dads.

"Yeah, I know, well, Mike told me, but still, I know you didn't do it…"

Dutchy covered his face with his hands and shook his head.

"Did he tell you she was undercover?"

"What?"

2Dads eyes widened and took a swig from the bottle.

"Explains a lot…"

Dutchy rubbed his hands over his face and leaned back on the couch.

"Commander White just told me that she lied, she lied about everything, 2Dads. She was in the N.I.I.D. she was investigating one of us. She had us all fooled, how could someone just lie like that? Every day, to our faces. She told me things that, I mean, I can't even imagine coming up with some of those stories. It makes me feel sick that I believed her, I thought I loved her, but now, I can't feel anything but hate for her."

_Meredith Voice over: The dictionary defines grief as keen mental suffering or distress over affliction or loss; sharp sorrow; painful regret. We're taught to learn from and rely on books, on definitions, on definitives. But in life, strict definitions rarely apply. In life, grief can look like a lot of things that bear little resemblance to sharp sorrow. _

Shaun sat with his legs crossed over one another reading the paper in a stark white room, medical machinery beeped around him. Periodically he glanced over to the bed, checking the patient hadn't awoken.

Suddenly, she bolted upright gasping for air, panic stricken, she clutched her chest and took a few deep breaths in and out. Shaun calmly folded the newspaper and placed in on the chair beside him, he rose and stood beside her and placed a hand on her shoulder and smiled.

"Welcome back, McDonald…"

End of Chapter 17.


	18. Chapter 18

Promise To Love Me, Even When You Hate Me.

Chapter 18.

Kate looked around the room, the last thing she remembered was, she hesitated and frowned, what was the last thing she remembered? Rubbing her hands over her face she willed her mind to remember. She flinched as Shaun placed a hand on her back seeing she was struggling.

"You okay?"

"Ah, I'm not sure, where am I?"

"You're in the hospital…"

Kate took a deep breath in and exhaled, clenching her eyes shut she tried to focus, all she could see was Dutchy's panicked expression, but she didn't know why.

"They just need to keep you here for a few more hours to make sure it's out of your system."

"What... what happened?"

"Just rest for now... I'll fill you in later..."

Kate sunk back into the bed as Shaun exited the room, closing her eyes she drifted off to sleep. She awoke one again suddenly, her dreams were filled with her fighting with Dutchy.

She maneuvered herself to the edge of the bed trying to peer out the window, placing a foot on the floor she attempted to stand, her legs were like jelly. She fell back on the the bed, her heart raced like she had just run a marathon. She sighed and curled back under the cover trying to remember anything from the past 24 hours.

The next morning Kate awoke with a jolt, Warren sat beside her playing on his phone.

"Hey…"

She flinched from the sight of him and scurried to the edge of the bed, her reaction confused him but he remembered their last encounter.

"It's okay, what to you remember?"

She clenched her eyes closed trying to force her memory to return, gripping her scalp she raked her fingers through her hair.

"You, I remember you and, and a gun, you attacked me…"

She stumbled out of the bed, Warren immediately rose from the chair to catch her as she lost her footing. She tried to struggle out of his grip but he held her tighter.

"Kate, relax, I didn't attack you, I was trying to help you."

"Help? You shot me!"

Warren grabbed the bottom of her shirt and and pulled it up to reveal her bruised stomach.

"They were blanks, this whole thing was part of the plan..."

She rubbed her hands over her stomach double checking she was okay, she was so sure that she had been wounded. Glancing up to meet his eyes she remembered the syringe, she ran her hand over her arm feeling for the injection site.

"You drugged me..."

He let out a laugh and sipped on his coffee.

"Yeah, to help you. You wanted out remember? So, we slowed your heart rate, and put you to sleep, it had to be believable..."

Kate sat back on the bed trying to remember, but it was fuzzy, she couldn't decipher what was real and what wasn't. Warren sat beside her and placed a hand on her knee in an attempt to ground her.

"It's okay, you'll remember, just know that I thought that this would be the best way, it hurt him less than you just, well, just dumping him."

Kate's brow furrowed, why couldn't she remember everything clearly. She lay back on the bed and closed her eyes hoping her memory would return.

A few hours later she woke up gasping for air again, Warren ran to her side and held her hand, she looked down at their intertwined hands.

"Can you just go, please…"

Warren sighed and rose from his chair.

"Believe it or not, I care about you…"

He closed the door on the way out, Kate sighed and lay back on the bed covering her head with the sheets.

Later that night Shaun returned holding a paper bag, plonking the bag down on the bedside table he opened it and gave her a wink.

"Thought you'd be desperate for some non hospital food."

Kate snatched the bag off the table and placed her face over the opening and inhaled.

"Oh, my, god, yes, thank you…"

Shaun sat down beside her as she stuff the chips into her mouth.

"So, has your memory returned?"

Kate froze mid mouthful and glanced over to him.

"Yeah, kinda…"

"You okay?"

Kate swallowed her mouthful and paused, she wasn't sure.

"I dunno, umm, who's idea was the umm, the…"

"Warren's..."

"Right."

Shaun could see the conclusions she was forming in her mind, he cleared his throat and pulled his chair closer to the bed.

"You know he did it cos he cared, I thought it was another opportunity for him to get back at you, but his explanation, well, maybe you should get him to explain it himself."

Shaun headed for the door, she sunk back into the bed and sighed. She pulled out the burger from the bag and took a large bite.

The next morning Warren knocked on her door, Kate looked up from her book and gave him a halfhearted smile.

"Hi."

He sat on the edged of the bed, Kate couldn't help but shuffle away.

"Shaun said you wanted to see me…"

"Ah, I guess."

"So, you back to normal?"

"Back to normal?"

She let out a scoff, normal? She was far from normal. Exhaling she looked up into his eyes, hers narrowed seeing the kindness and not the usual spite.

"Why are you being nice to me?"

Warren frowned and moved himself onto the chair next to her bed.

"What do you mean?"

"I remember everything, the past, well, year, I know that we haven't been able to have a civilised conversation since, well, since we ended things and the past few months..."

"Kate…"

She pulled her hand away and tucked it under the blanket.

"Don't call me that… that part of my life is over…"

"Look, I know we've had a rough time of it, I guess seeing you, well, vulnerable, being able to love, it's made me feel, well, like an asshole. I shouldn't have been so hard on you, I knew deep down you didn't love me and I pushed it. I just really wanted you to care about me the way I cared about you."

Kate let her body relax for a moment feeling guilty, she was expecting a fight.

"Warren, I always cared about you."

"Yeah but, not like…"

"I know, and for what it's worth, I'm sorry…"

"I just can't help but think it we waited, if I just let you do what you needed to do and waited…"

Kate knew where he was going, but she couldn't even think about that part of her life at that moment. She had just left someone that she truly cared about in the most awful way and she hated herself enough.

"Warren, not now, please, I don't think I can handle this right now…"

"Okay, but, friends?"

Kate nodded, it was the least she could do, if this experience had taught her anything it was that she needed to forgive.

"Friends."

"So umm, I'm glad you said that cos I've taken the liberty of booking your holiday."

"What?"

"Well, Shaun has been worried about you and thought it may be wise that you had some company."

"Warren, I don't think that's really necessary."

"Please, let me make up my jerkyness…"

It was against her better judgment, but she needed to get back to her real life, and if she was going to do that, then she at least needed to make an effort.

"Where are we going then?"

"Hawaii…"

Kate rolled her eyes assuming it was a joke, a large grin came over Warrens face.

"Surprise…"

"Seriously?"

"Yes, we all think you need a serious break, somewhere you can't get phone reception and can completely switch off, so, we leave tonight…"

"What? What if I didn't wake up, or said no…"

"Well, I would have got you on the plane somehow, we do work for an undercover government department, and as for you saying no, who's going to say no to Hawaii?"

Kate let out a laugh and grasped his hand in her, Warren smiled at her, she suddenly thought of Dutchy and the smile dropped off her face.

"Can I just know one thing?"

"What?"

"How are you explaining my death?"

"Umm, a robbery gone wrong… I took some of your things so it looks legitimate, they're in the car."

Kate sat there thinking about her life, or lack thereof. All of it was fake, from the age of 22 all she had done was play a role. She had to start living her real life, else one day she was going to wake up and it would be too late. She knew she had real feelings for Dutchy and it gave her hope, hope that she could, one day, be happy. It surprised her how easily she was able to let him go, but perhaps it was because she really loved him, she couldn't let him sacrifice so much for her, or maybe because she knew she could never really have a life with him in the first place. Ether way she had grown, and she would be forever thankful to him.

"I just gotta clear out my hotel room then we can go..."

She snapped back to the moment and looked over to Warren.

"Yeah, but umm, I've got nothing to wear."

Warren chucked her bag on to the bed and flashed her a cheeky smile.

"I saved some of the clothes you bought in Townsville."

Kate rolled her eyes as she unzipped the bag and rummaged around.

"What? All the bikinis?"

"Well, we are going to Hawaii… I'll be back a bit later."

2Dads awoke on Dutchy's couch to the sound of him muttering to himself, he sat up rubbing his eyes.

"Are you talking to yourself?"

Dutchy got up and poured 2Dads a cup of coffee and placed it in front of him.

"I just, I feel…"

He let out an exasperated growl and sat back into the couch.

"I'm beyond mad but, I mean, I loved her… I don't know what to feel."

2Dads picked up his cup and took a sip not really sure how to respond.

"I just want to know what happened and why, and if, if any of this was real."

Again 2Dads stayed silent, Dutchy rose from the couch and placed his cup in the sink and grabbed his wallet and keys.

"Where are you going?"

Dutchy opened the door and turned.

"To get answers…"

Dylan drove to Kate's house, parking a few houses down he looked around checking for any police patrols. Seeing no signs of anyone he jumped the fence and went round the back. Jimmying open the door he entered the lounge room, he gasped seeing her belongings all over the floor, it brought him back to the terrible night. He didn't know why he was there, what he thought he would find, but for some reason it comforted him being there.

He scanned the room looking for any clues, walking over to the only set of drawers that weren't open he pulled it open shuffled through it. He froze seeing the folders with their names on them, he slowly pulled them from the drawer and sat on the floor. He shuffled through them and stopped as he saw his name. He didn't know if he wanted to open it, scared what he would find out about himself.

He heard the front door unlatch, he picked up the file and attempted to hide, two men entered the house guns raised.

"Police, come out..."

Dylan did as instructed, he knew if he tried to run it would only end badly. He raised his hands showing he wasn't a threat and stepped out from behind the couch.

"It's okay, I'm a friend of Kate's."

Shaun lowered his gun and approached recognising him.

"Dylan? what are you doing here? This is a crime scene..."

"I just, I wanted to try to make sense of all of this…"

Shaun sighed and sat on the couch, he couldn't help but feel for Dylan. By all accounts, he was innocent, and they had put him through all of this for nothing.

"Yeah, I know… we're all pretty upset."

"Do you know why this happened?"

Shaun frowned seeing the files behind his back and tilted his head.

"Right, ah, what you got there?"

"Umm, oh, nothing…"

Shaun's eyes narrowed and stood closer and snatched them from his hand, he shuffled through them and glanced up to Dutchy, he lowered his head slightly.

"I know the real reason she was here..."

Shaun placed the files back on the table and sighed.

"Yeah, we, we needed her to know who you were, how to handle you all."

"And in the mean time none of us knowing the real her."

Shaun winced, he never had to deal with the aftermath of their cases, he wasn't sure what to tell him. He took a deep breath in and thought of Kate's acting skills.

"Sorry Dutchy, for what it's worth, she thought all of you guys were special, she really liked all of you..."

"It doesn't…"

They stood there in silence for a moment but Dutchy's anger boiled to the surface, he took a step towards Shaun standing inches from him and raised his voice.

"You guys have some nerve, I mean, we're real people, with real lives, and you guys just come in here and…"

The uniformed officer stepped in between Shaun and Dutchy, Shaun held up his hand.

"It's okay, can you just give us a minute?"

The officer nodded and headed out the front. Shaun sat back down on the couch and patted the space next to him, Dutchy rolled his eyes and sat.

"Look, I know I can't say much to make this all better but…"

"No, you can't… I just don't know how you can do this, lie to people every day, do you not care about the people you're doing this too?"

"Dutchy, you have to understand the bigger picture, our job is what keeps everyone above board."

"No, it doesn't, we're all good people, Shaun, we all do this for a good reason…"

"Dutchy, please, you just need to drop it, isn't it hard enough to lose the woman you love?"

Dutchy glanced over to him wondering how he knew.

"How did you know I loved her?"

Shaun broke eye contact, he couldn't tell him that he had them bugged, it was only going to make things worse.

"You could tell… look, I'm really sorry, Dutchy…"

"Yeah, you keep saying that, but what are you doing to find out what happened? I mean, what if it was someone from a past case or…"

"Look, this is way above you pay grade and security clearance. Just let us do our job and I'll let you know what I can when I can, okay?"

"Yeah, okay..."

Warren knocked on the door and entered.

"Ah, what's going on here? I was driving past and saw the lights on."

"Nothing, Dutchy just needed some closure…"

Warren walked over to the liquor cabinet and pulled out a bottle of scotch and poured them all a drink.

"Let's just umm, pay our respects, we actually shouldn't be here, the cops haven't finished."

"To Kate..."

They down the shots, Dutchy placed his glass on the table and looked around. He walked over to the mantle and searched for the picture he had given her.

Warren glanced at Shaun wondering what he was doing.

"Ah, you missing something mate?"

"There was a picture of us…"

Warren approached and pretended to look for it.

"The place is trashed, mate, it'll be here somewhere…"

"But, all the rest of them are here…"

"Look, I'll bring it round if I find it."

"I don't need it, I've got a copy, it's strange, that's all."

Dutchy took one last look around the place and walked out the door. Warren walked over to the table and pulled a clear plastic bag out of his pocket and placed Dutchy's glass inside. Shaun looked over to him with a questioning look on his face, Warren shrugged as he ran his fingers over the top sealing the bag.

"Thought it might be handy to have his prints on record..."

Dutchy waited at the counter trying to get someone's attention, a young officer approached the counter.

"Yes, Sir, how can I help?"

"Ah, I wanted to speak to someone about Kate McGregor..."

Detective Summerside approached and placed a hand on the constable's shoulder.

"I'll handle this one…"

He opened the gate and let him to a room, they sat opposite each other, Dutchy cleared his throat.

"Look, I know you're focused on me, and whatever but I just wanted to know if you guys were looking into Kate's ex."

"Why's that?"

"Well, she told me this story, and I don't know if it's true, about her ex attempting to murder her family. I thought you should know, look, all I can tell you was that it wasn't me, and I'm not buying the robbery gone wrong."

Detective Summerside sighed and shifted in his chair.

"Dylan, look, I've spoken to Shaun, but from what we can tell her ex has nothing to do with this. We are investigating other avenues, actually while you're here can we take your prints for elimination purposes?"

He nodded, but he still had more questions.

"But surely being undercover in the N.I.I.D gives motives to other people."

"Yeah, it does, but you need to let us do our job, Dylan, you could hinder a police investigation. Do you want to be responsible for evidence being chucked out?"

He shook his head, he knew he needed to let them do their job, but he wondered if they were taking it seriously.

Dylan sat on his couch holding the photo of him and Kate, a knock on the door startled him, he dropped it on the table and it shattered everywhere.

"Damn it!"

He rose from the couch and opened the door, he couldn't help but look confused.

"Warren?"

"Ah, hey..."

Dutchy wasn't sure why he was at his house.

"You wanna come in?"

He nodded and walked into the lounge, he went to sit on the couch and stepped on the glass from the frame.

"Oh shit, sorry!"

He bent down and picked up the photo.

"This the one you were looking for at her house?"

Dutchy sat on the couch and filled his glass and poured one for Warren, Warren sat beside him and placed the photo on the table.

"Not that I mind the company, but umm, what do you want?"

Dutchy took a big gulp of his drink, Warren picked up his and took a sip.

"Ah, I just, you seemed pretty upset earlier."

"Yeah, I was, I even went to speak to the cops."

"Really? About what?"

"Well, I just don't think this was a robbery gone wrong. Surely you guys have some suspects?"

Warren took another sip of his drink, Dutchy knew he was hesitant, he let out a scoff and sat back on the couch.

"I know, above my pay grade... but can I ask, how many cases has she been on, I mean should she have any enemies? She told me that you guys were part of her exes crew, but if you weren't then what was she undercover for?"

Warren sighed and placed his glass back on the table.

"Dutchy..."

Dutchy slammed his glass on the table causing Warren to jump, he was sick of the political red tape.

"No, she's dead, Warren, she was your colleague, I'm assuming a friend, and you don't seem to care that she's gone!"

"Of course I'm upset..."

He exhaled and swallowed the rest of his glass.

"You really cared about her didn't you?"

"Yeah, I loved her. I was about to transfer off Hammersley for her."

Warren felt a little bad, he knew what it was like to love someone so much that he would do anything for them.

"C'mon Warren, the least you can tell me whether she was in danger."

"No, she wasn't. She had no open or pending cases she was untraceable. So if the cops say it was a..."

"Don't say it..."

"I'm sorry Dutchy... Ah, can I use your bathroom?"

"Yeah, upstairs, use my en-suite, the other ones not working..."

Dutchy poured himself another drink and picked up the picture, tears ran down his cheeks as he swallowed the contents of his glass.

A few minutes later Warren came back down the stairs.

"Umm, I'll head off..."

Dutchy rose from the couch and walked him to the door.

"Umm, I know you probably can't but can you please let me know if you hear anything..."

Warren nodded as he opened the door, Dutchy ran to stop him before he left.

"Oh, umm her funeral..."

"Dutchy, I haven't got any details..."

"My commander said it was a private service, I just , I mean I was wondering if you had her next of kin's number? Apparently none of us are welcome but if they knew, if they knew how much I loved her..."

"Sorry, Dutchy…"

Warren left Duchy flopped back on to the couch and turned on the TV, Grey's Anatomy played from where it was last paused.

_Lexie voice over: Grief may be a thing we all ave in common, but it looks different on everyone._

_Mark voice over: It isn't just death we have to grieve, it's life, it's loss, it's change._

Dutchy couldn't hear it right now, he desperately searched for remote and switched it off, sinking back into the couch he grabbed the bottle of scotch and took a swig.

That night the taxi pulled up to the airport, Kate exited and walked around to the boot, Warren shooed here away.

"It's okay, I got this…"

Kate stepped back still a little weirded out that Warren was being nice, he wheeled both their suitcases to the counter and checked them in. Walking to the gate he went to detour to the lounge, Kate frowned and grabbed his arm.

"Where are you going? We don't have access to the lounge."

"Ah, when you fly business class you do…"

"Excuse me?"

"Call it a bonus for your past performance."

He wrapped an arm around her and led her into the lounge, she sat on a couch and warren brought her over a glass of champagne.

"I could get used to this!"

Warrens phone rang, he glanced down at the caller and answered taking a step away from her. Kate raised an eyebrow as she sipped on her glass. He returned a few minutes later and sat beside her, she raised an eyebrow.

"What was that about?"

"Oh, nothing."

"Warren, c'mon…"

He sighed and took a sip of his beer.

"Okay, I went to see Dutchy…"

Kate swallowed her mouthful of champagne and placed her glass on the table.

"Why?"

"Well, he was at your house, he was pretty upset, he asked about your funeral, someone told him there wasn't going to be one…"

Kate went to pick up her glass, Warren cleared his throat.

"So, I've arranged one…"

Kate flinched knocking over her glass.

"What?"

Warren grabbed a few napkins and mopped up the table.

"Well, like a service anyway, I think he just needs some closure."

Kate sat there staring at him in bewilderment.

"Why would you do that?"

"Cos he's hurting, and I felt bad for him."

"Oh…"

Kate was lost for words, she took out her phone, Warren snatched it away from her.

"Nope, no phone, no internet, we are switching off…"

He took his phone from his pocket and turned it off and shoved them both into his bag, he patted her knee and gave her a nudge with his shoulder.

"Fresh start, yeah?"

Kate nodded as she rose from the couch.

"Yeah, but I need another drink first."

End of Chapter 18.

xx


	19. Chapter 19

Promise to Love Me, Even When You Hate Me.

Chapter 19.

Kate and Warren found their way to their seats, Warren wiggled into the chair making himself comfortable.

"I'm never flying economy again!"

He looked over to Kate, she was in a world of her own, he glanced at her leg, it bounced up and down persistently. Reaching over he placed a hand on hers, she jumped and tried to cover her anxiousness with a smile. He could tell something was wrong, he grabbed his bag and placed two prescription bottles on the table between them.

"Because you refused to see the shrink, the doctor gave me these, but he said go easy on them, just in case."

She glanced at the bottles and wrinkled her face as she looked back over to Warren. He nodded towards her bouncing leg, she scoffed and shut the divider ignoring his concern.

A short time later the cabin darkened, Kate tossed and turned in her chair trying to get to sleep. She had pretended to be asleep since they had taken off, Warren had opened the divider slightly to monitor her. Letting out a grunt she slid open the divider and snatched the pills trying not to wake him, turning on her reading light she squinted trying to read the names, Xanax and Temazepam. She was familiar with these drugs, she had taken them before, letting out a sigh she removed one of each and placed them in her mouth lying back in her chair.

Early the next morning she was awoken by a crew member gently tapping her shoulder.

"Ms McDonald, sorry, but you requested to be woken for meal service."

She was groggy, for a moment she didn't know where she was. Clearing her throat she sat up and pulled out her tray table.

"Ah, yeah, thanks."

Rubbing her hands over her face she tried to focus, she was thankful for the undisturbed sleep but as the haze cleared her mind filled with unpleasant memories.

"Morning."

Warren's voice caused her to jump, he noticed the pill bottles were gone from his side of the divider.

"The pills work then?"

She gave him a slight nod and picked up her glass of OJ hoping he'd get the hit to leave her be.

They sat in the cab on the way to the resort, she hadn't spoken a word since they disembarked the plane, Warren nudged her with his elbow.

"You okay?"

She wasn't, she had popped another Xanax before getting off plane, she couldn't stand the thought of hearing her inner voice, and the pills seemed to quieten them for a little while.

"I think I just need some sleep…"

Warren frowned, she had spent the better part of 2 days in a hospital bed recovering, and basically slept all the way through a 13 hour flight, why did she need more sleep?

"Well, we're nearly there…"

Kate stepped out of the cab feeling worse for wear, her mood was immediately lifted as she looked around, her jaw dropped seeing the spectacular resort before her.

"Warren, this is insane..."

"Well, it had to be, you haven't had a vacation in 6 years..."

"The job is sometimes like a vacation."

He rolled his eyes as he grabbed both their bags from the boot of the cab.

"Hmm, yeah, pretending to be someone else and hiding from the real world isn't the same as an actual vacation."

They checked in and the host showed them to their villa, Kate spun round as Warren followed her into the room.

"Ah, we're sharing?"

"It was the only one left on short notice, but I made sure it had 2 bedrooms, no funny business, I promise."

Kate didn't have the energy to argue, she wheeled her suitcase into her bedroom and shut the door. As she dropped onto the bed she exhaled and wrapped the blanket around her, she lay there willing her mind to shut off, all she could think about was leaving him. She eventually drifted off to sleep, a few hours later she bolted upright, sweat covered her body, and she was short of breath. Her dreams haunted her, Dutchy's panicked face was all she could see, bringing her knees to her chest she hugged her legs and shook her head at herself.

"It was never going to work, you were just carried away with the situation…"

She knew it was a lie, but denial was her only option at the moment. She pulled the pill bottles from her pocket and opened them, she didn't want to rely on medication but she just needed her mind to stop. She chucked 2 more tablets into her mouth and tossed the bottles into her bag on the bedside table. Closing her eyes, she lay on her side and dragged the pillow towards her.

The next morning she awoke to Warren knocking on her door, sitting up in bed she called out for him to enter, he poked his head in the door and smiled.

"Morning…"

She faked a smiled and leaned her head on the headboard, Warren sat on the edge of the bed.

"Feeling any better?"

She shrugged and rubbed her hands over her face.

"I dunno…"

"Well, come and have breakfast on the balcony, if the view doesn't make you feel better, well, I don't know what will."

Kate dragged herself out of bed, opening the door she squinted and rubbed her eyes as the sun blared in through the windows.

Walking out onto the balcony she took a deep breath in, the fresh sea air caressed her face reminding her of Cairns. She looked down to see an extravagant selection of food on the table, Warren stood behind her and smirked

"See, you can't be upset at this view…"

Kate let out a laugh and wrapped her arms around herself.

"Yeah, it's nice."

Warren rolled his eyes and sat at the table.

"Nice? We're in Hawaii, in a 5 star villa with our own butler."

She couldn't argue but it would be nicer if she didn't feel the way she did.

"Back in a sec..."

She ran to her room and rummaged around in her bag looking for the pills, she froze as she saw the photo frame in the bottom. Pulling it out of her bag she focused on the photo, it was of her and Dutchy at Windin falls. She looked happy, genuinely happy. Closing her eyes, she attempted to stop the tears, she shoved it back into her bag and pulled out the bottles of pills. She hesitated before placing them in her mouth, wondering if she was being weak, she shook her head and swallowed them. Returning to the balcony she placed a smile on her face trying to trick herself into feeling better. She knew she needed to move on, think about the future, and where her life was going. She sat down and folded the napkin over her legs.

"Thanks for this…"

After breakfast Kate unpacked her things and returned to the living area, letting out a sharp breath she sat on the couch, Warren laughed and handed her a glass of champagne.

"You don't know how to relax do you?"

Kate placed her glass on the table and crossed her arms over her chest glaring at him, he shook his head at her reaction, she gave in and dropped her arms and sighed.

"No..."

"You're lucky there's lots of stuff to do, but first massages and salon appointments..."

"Have you planned out every single day's activities?"

"No, I don't need my hair done, it's just for you!"

Kate was thankful that Warren had tried to keep her mind off Dutchy and her departure, maybe she was too quick to dismiss him as a friend after their breakup. After all, they were friends beforehand, and she was the one that stuffed things up.

Kate sat in the salon chair flipping through magazines waiting for her hairdresser, a friendly looking young woman stood behind her and cleared her throat.

"Hi, I'm Dylan…"

Kate froze and looked at the woman through the mirror, she tilted her head at Kate's strange reaction.

"Ma'am? Everything okay?"

"Sorry, yes, umm, did you said your name is Dylan?"

"Yeah, my mum's all about gender neutral names, like, they shouldn't define us… but anyway, enough bout me, this is about you. What are we doing today?"

"Ah, not really sure…"

"Okay, well, you're on holidays I'm assuming? I hear an umm, Aussie accent?"

Kate nodded staring at herself in the mirror.

"Yeah, ah, bit of a break from work, gets a bit much sometimes…"

Dylan nodded while she inspected Kate's hair.

"Yeah, we all need to switch off now and again… so, do you feel like a change?"

Kate glanced up her in the mirror, she could tell that Dylan sensed there was more to her story.

"Yeah, why not, surprise me…"

A giant grin came over Dylan's face and she let out an excited squeal.

"Yes! Love it, you only live once, right?"

Kate scoffed under her breath.

"Yeah, something like that..."

Dylan leaned down and placed her hands on Kate's shoulders and whispered in her ear.

"Do you trust me?"

Kate nodded cautiously, Dylan smiled and covered the mirror in front of her.

"Okay, let do this…"

3 hours later Dylan stood behind Kate with a giant smile on her face.

"Okay, are you ready?"

Kate nodded hoping that some how this would make her feel different, make her feelings go away. Dylan stood at the mirror and pulled off the towel. Kate couldn't help but gasp, her blonde locks were gone, replaced with chocolate brown waves.

"Well?"

She ran her fingers through her new locks checking it was real, it's exactly what she needed, she barely recognised herself, a smile covered her face.

"Dylan, I love it!"

Dylan clapped her hands and jumped up and down on the spot.

"Yay! I'm glad! Whole new you!"

Kate rose from the chair and looked at herself in the mirror again.

"Yeah, hope so…"

Kate walked back into the villa feeling refreshed, she walked past the mirror and had to do a double take.

"Woah, this is gonna take some getting used to."

Warren poked his head out of the bedroom hearing her voice.

"What's gonna take some getting… wow!"

Warren walked into the living area and nodded with approval.

"You look stunning, well, more stunning, if that's possible!"

Kate headed to her room, she could feel herself blush.

"Thanks."

Later that day they sat on the loungers by the pool, Kate sighed and placed her hands behind her head.

"I could get used to this!"

Warren laughed as he sipped on his drink.

"Yeah, well, don't get too used to it, we'll be back to reality before you know it…"

Kate took a deep breath in and rolled her head towards him.

"You know, I've been thinking, maybe this was my last gig…"

Warren sat up and spun round to face her, lifting his sunglasses he wrinkled his face.

"What?"

Kate sat up knowing she was in for a lecture.

"Yeah, don't you want a life? I mean we've been doing this for nearly 10 years."

"Yeah, I do, but the person I wanted it with didn't want it with me…"

Warren lay back, Kate let out a huff and got up and sat on the end of his lounger.

"Warren…"

Warren rubbed his hands over his face and sat back up and placed a hand on her knee.

"Do you wanna talk about it?"

Kate turned away from him, he positioned himself closer trying to get her to open up.

"I get that you may not want to, but you probably should, you can't keep popping pills to escape."

Kate snapped her head towards him wondering how he knew, he let out a grunt, he wasn't stupid.

"The doctor told me to monitor you if you took them, and I can tell when you do, and before you tell me to mind my business, I'm just looking after you."

She nodded ever so slightly breaking eye contact, he cleared his throat and ripped off the band aid.

"Did you love him?"

She shifted in her seat and ran her hands through her hair, she had never said it out loud, she couldn't. Since her departure she had tried to convince herself that her feelings were a reflection of the situation, that the connection between them wasn't real, she was just caught up in the moment.

"I don't know, I don't really know what was real and what wasn't anymore, but he made me feel safe."

Kate glanced out the corner of her eye to check Warren's expression, his head was down looking defeated.

"And it's not that you didn't make me feel safe, I was in a bad place, you were my safe space maybe too safe and…"

She sighed, she didn't know how to explain it to him without feeling like an asshole and making him feel worse. Warren glanced up to her her not wanting to make it more awkward.

"It's okay, I'm glad I could help in some way, I just wished it was real."

"Warren, it was, I appreciated every kindness that you showed me. I don't know if you heard what I said to Dutchy but, I know you loved me, you were the greatest person to me, I felt terrible that couldn't give you what you deserved. I ruined it by not telling you how I felt, I was the asshole."

He wrapped his arm around her and laughed.

"We're both assholes. But seriously, why couldn't you just talk to me?"

Kate sighed, she knew she owed him an explanation, it was the least she could do, she had known him for 10 years, no matter how many run-ins they'd had, she trusted him.

"You know that story I told Dutchy about my mother and father being killed?"

Warren nodded along, Kate closed her eyes and folded her legs beneath her.

"I didn't make it up…"

Warren took a moment to register what she was saying.

"What?"

"It's the reason I joined the N.I.I.D…"

Warren sat with a blank expression on his face while Kate continued.

"The reason I couldn't make us work was that I couldn't trust, well, anyone. You were so kind, and I knew you cared for me, and I thought, well if I can't make this work with you then… I'm sorry…"

Warren was suddenly annoyed, he was kind and thoughtful when they were together but she couldn't even tell him why she was the way she was.

"But you could make it work with _him_?"

Warren rose from his chair and walked away, Kate ran after him and grabbed his arm.

"Warren, please, I thought you'd want to talk about it."

"Yeah, just not now…"

Kate knew following him was pointless, she sat back on the lounger as tears formed in her eyes.

The next morning Dutchy walked down to the docks dressed in a suit, he spotted the rest of the crew and gave them a halfhearted smile.

"Hey guys..."

2Dads approached and gave him a pat on the back.

"You okay, mate?"

Dutchy nodded.

"Thanks for coming everyone, umm, Kate's colleagues were nice enough to arrange this service for us…"

Dutchy glanced up to his crew staring back at him, he frowned as his eyes focused on RO who was looking less than impressed.

"Is there a problem RO?"

Robert was startled hearing his name, he looked back at the multiple sets of eyes staring back at him.

"Ah, no…"

Dutchy stepped towards him knowing that RO always had an opinion.

"You sure?"

RO let out a frustrated huff and broke eye contact.

"I just don't understand why we're all acting like we've lost a friend, may I remind you that this woman was out to get one of us."

Dutchy's eyes darted around the crew wondering if they felt the same, he caught Mike's gaze, he wasn't aware that he had told everyone. Mike stepped forward and cleared his throat.

"They had a right to know, Dutchy."

"Yeah, fair enough, but, guys, she was still a person we spent time with…"

RO scrunched up his face.

"Seriously? Dutchy, c'mon, none of it was real…"

Dutchy froze, he knew it wasn't real but hearing someone else say it made his blood boil. He tried to keep his cool, but he could help but defend her, he placed himself inches away from RO.

"Well, if you don't want to be here RO, you don't have to be…"

Robert held his stare for a moment then pushed passed him, Dutchy couldn't believe that he was leaving.

"Anyone else?"

A few of the crew sheepishly followed RO, Dutchy stood there in disbelief. 2Dads knew he needed to keep him focused, he pulled on Dutchy's arm.

"C'mon, mate, you knew her, you know you did."

They walked on to the small cruiser and headed out to sea. They anchored in a small bay up from Cairns and Bird handed out white roses to the crew. Dutchy stood at the bow of the boat and cleared his throat.

"I umm, I appreciate you all staying, I know this has been a hard and strange time, but at the same time the world has lost someone. I know there was some controversy around Kate's…"

Dutchy trailed off, Mike stepped foward and placed a hand on hsi arm.

"Dutchy?"

He dropped his head and whispered in Mike's ear.

"Do we even know if her name was really Kate?"

Mike shook his head ever so slightly.

"I don't know, but lets just continue…"

"I, umm, I don't think I can, RO is right, I didn't know her boss, I said I loved her and I didn't know her…"

Mike couldn't imagine what he was going though, but he knew he need to keep it together for everyone's sake.

"I can take over if you want?'

Dutchy nodded and stepped back to the rest of his crew, Mike cleared his throat.

"Kate wasn't with us for long, and no matter what she was doing, she was doing her job, protecting the Navy's integrity. We are all better for her job existing, that aside she was a person, whether she was a different person with us she was still a part of our crew, someone we spoke with, someone we laughed with, someone we cared for. May she Rest In Peace…"

Mike stepped forward and thew the rose into the water, the rest of the crew followed.

Kate sat on her bed redialling Warren's phone number, he hadn't returned to the room all night, and wasn't answering her calls or texts.

The door flung open startling her, she jumped off the bed seeing it was Warren and gave him a hug. They parted and she punched him on the shoulder.

"That's for not coming home and making me worry all night."

He smiled, she was showing that she cared.

"I wanna talk about it, about everything."

Kate nodded determined to be a better friend. They sat on the bed, Kate exhaled sharply.

"Okay..."

"I know you went through a trauma, I know you're a good person. But why did you start something with me if you knew you couldn't put your heart into it?"

Kate wasn't expecting him to dive right in, she sat and thought about it for a moment.

"I thought I could, we were friends for a few years, you were the first person I actually thought I could do this with..."

"Okay, so why couldn't you talk to me about it, we could have saved ourselves some heartache."

Kate paused wondering if she should tell him the whole truth.

"Because, then I'd have to tell you about the pain I went through, and I didn't want you to pity me."

"Why would I pity you?"

"Because, you're a sweet guy, and then all I would have thought was that you saw me as this like, injured bird, a fragile girl. I've been through a lot, Warren, and I guess this is something I had to figure out on my own else I'd never move past it."

"So what did he have that I didn't..."

"Look, I think we were both vulnerable, he had a story like mine, I guess on some level I thought we were the same lost soul. But pain shouldn't bring people together, I mean it helps us relate, but it was never real, it couldn't have been."

Warren was concerned she was lying to herself, trying to sound like the whole situation didn't affect her.

"So, you didn't love him"

She hesitated wondering whether her answer should be an excuse or the truth.

"To be honest, I don't know what love feels like."

"It feels different to everyone..."

"Maybe I'm not capable of it, maybe I don't want it."

"Don't be ridiculous..."

Being with Dutchy had changed her, she realised if she wanted to move past things, be able to have someone that she needed to be truthful, keeping things from people kept them at arm's length, and going through life alone wasn't something she wanted.

"Warren, I didn't have time to deal with any of it when my parents died. Everything I told Dutchy about my "story" was true. I did get visits from the bad guys, I actually moved and changed my name, this is why I was perfect for this role. No family, no connections, my past was exactly that because I reinvented myself, a new name, a new person."

"Seriously?"

She nodded and sighed.

"I've been Lisa McDonald for 15 years now, the tough, unforgiving undercover N.I.I.D agent. I thought this was the life I wanted, but now, after all this, I have no idea who I am or what I want."

End Chapter 19.


	20. Chapter 20

Hey everyone!

So, I managed to get one more chapter out before I leave on Sunday, :) this will be it for a couple of weeks as my word app is glitching on my phone :( but I also have a bit of writers block, hopefully the beautiful scenery of Tasmania will give me some inspo! For those of you that follow me on Insta be prepared for many shots of wombats, Tasmanian devils and white wallabies (hopefully) haha!

Anyway, as usual i'd love to know what you think!

xx

Promise To Love Me, Even When You Hate Me.

Chapter 20.

Upon returning to the dock, the crew were greeted by Detective Summerside and two uniformed officers. He pulled Dutchy aside as he stepped on to the dock.

"Mr Mulholland, a word?"

Dylan grit his teeth and put on a smile.

"Detective, what can I do for you?"

"I believe you were told you needed to stay on shore."

Dutchy's brow wrinkled wondering if it was a trick question.

"Ah, I am, I've been assigned to NAVCOM."

"Yes, but you've just been out at sea."

"Yeah, for a memorial service..."

Dutchy wasn't in the mood for technicalities, he walked away shaking his head but Detective Summerside followed closely behind.

"Well, you agreed to stay on shore, this could be seen as an attempt to flee..."

Dutchy stopped and turned to face him, a look of contempt covered his face.

"But I'm standing here, in front of you, I haven't fled."

Detective Summerside stepped forward not caving to Dutchy's attitude.

"We received information that you may try to do a runner, and we've also obtained a warrant to search your house."

Dutchy stopped and spun round to face him.

"What? This is ridiculous, on what grounds?"

"Ah, you failed to tell us you were in a relationship with Ms McGregor, and that you had fought about your relationship before she died. Care to explain why you didn't disclose any of this information?"

Dutchy put on a tough face, he knew it didn't look good, it made him look guilty.

"Because, I didn't think it was any of your business..."

But he knew it was their business, they were the police, everything was their business. Detective Summerside raised an eyebrow and continued to stare him down.

"Don't make this any harder than it needs to be, if you're innocent..."

Dutchy interrupted, he wasn't going to let them steam roll him.

"If? I am innocent, what happened to your robbery gone wrong theory?"

"Well, we haven't got any prints, and there was a tip off about you. We have to look into it."

He shoved the warrant against Dutchy's chest, he snatched it out of his hands and scanned the page.

"We'll meet you at your house."

Detective Summerside walked off to the car park, Dutchy glanced over to Mike and called out after him.

"I want Commander Flynn there when you search."

Detective Summerside nodded as he continued to walk away, 2Dads pulled on Mike's arm and whispered in his ear.

"Boss, this is stupid right? You'll have his back, yeah?"

"It's just routine 2Dads, it's okay."

Dutchy and Mike stood in his living room while the officers tore apart his house, Dutchy cradled Reason in his arms as she growled at the officers. Pacing the room he tried to think of anything that could prove his innocence, this whole thing was like a bad dream. Mike's gaze followed Dutchy around the room hoping he could keep his cool, he knew what Dutchy was like, he could lose it any minute and it wouldn't help his case.

Dutchy took a few deep breaths in and out, but he couldn't help it, he stormed up the stairs and into his bedroom looking for Detective Summerside. He found him in his wardrobe shuffling through his clothes, he placed Reason on the ground and she ran to her bed.

"What exactly are you looking for?"

Detective Summerside didn't bother to turn around, he continued his search.

"It's all detailed in the warrant."

He headed for the en-suite but Dutchy stepped in his way.

"You're wasting your time..."

Detective Summerside side stepped him and began to search the en-suite, he pulled out multiple drawers and checked the bottoms, they were clear. He looked around the room for a moment, standing on top of the toilet he unscrewed the exhaust vent and checked the other side of the vent. Piles of dust dropped from the cover and he sneezed multiple times, a call came over his radio.

"All clear down here.."

He swatted away the falling dust and stepped off the toilet and handed the cover to Dutchy.

"Well, I think we're done here... "

"That'd be right, come in here and mess up the place and expect someone else to clean it up."

Detective Summerside ignored his dog and left the en-suite, Dutchy stood there shaking his head. Mike poked his head in the door

"I think they're leaving..."

Dutchy stepped out of the bathroom and looked around at the state of his bedroom.

"This is bullshit!"

Mike could tell he was about to lose it, his eyes widened as he grabbed Dutchy on the upper arm.

"Just let it go, they didn't find anything…"

"Yeah, cos there's nothing to find!"

Dutchy let out a grunt and shoved the vent cover towards Mike, he stomped down the stairs looking for Detective Summerside to give him an earful.

Mike shook his head and looked up to the hole in the ceiling, stepping onto the toilet seat he reached up and wiped the dust from the lip of the exhaust vent. His hand hit something inside, he blindly patted around feeling for the object. More dust bunnies fell into his face, he sneezed and wiped his face with his other hand. Removing his hand from the vent he knocked something inside and it fell to the ground with a thud. Mike's eyes fixated on the object as he stepped back on to the floor, not believing what it was he squatted down to confirm his fear, it was a gun. His first instinct was to hide it, but an awful thought crossed his mind as he reached out to grab it, what if Dutchy was involved? Dutchy walked back into the ensuite letting out various grunts of irritation, he froze seeing Mike hunched over the gun. Mike looked up to him waiting for an explanation, but it didn't come.

"Dutchy?"

Dutchy bent down and picked up the gun with a towel not saying a word.

"Dutchy?"

They stood there in silence, they both jumped hearing Detective Summerside's voice as he stepped inside the bathroom.

"Just one more thing…"

He stopped seeing the gun, immediately, he removed his weapon from his holster and aimed it at Dutchy.

"Drop the weapon!"

Dutchy froze, he was lost for words, Mike reached over and took the towel from his hand and placed it on the ground.

"It's okay, we just found it."

Detective Summerside grabbed his radio with his free hand and called the other officers, they stormed into the bathroom. Summerside nodded towards the gun on the floor, one of the officers bent down and picked it up checking if it was loaded.

"Weapon is loaded, Sir…"

Detective Summerside replaced his weapon in his holster and raised an eyebrow in Dutchy's direction.

"Is this your firearm, Mr Mulholland?"

Dutchy blinked a few times trying to get himself to focus.

"Ah, um, no, I, I've never seen it before."

"Right, Mr Mulholland you're going to have to come down to the station."

"Why?"

"You know why…"

He snapped on a glove and picked it up by the tip of the handle, he inspected it closely. Dutchy held his breath waiting for him to say something.

"38 caliber, same as the one that killed Ms McGregor, bag it up for forensics and ballistics."

Dutchy rubbed his hands over his face, he couldn't believe what was happening.

"You've got to be kidding me…"

Mike leaned in and whispered in his ear.

"You should probably just cooperate, Dutchy."

Dutchy's head spun round confused at Mike's tone.

"Boss?"

"Just don't make things worse, Dylan…"

"You can't think I did this.."

"Of course not, but…"

They pulled Dutchy away and led him downstairs to the police car. Frankie pulled into her driveway and leapt out of her car seeing Dutchy being taken to the police car.

"Dylan! What's going on? I leave for a week and you're being arrested?"

He couldn't bear to tell her what had happened, he kept his head down.

"Can you look after Reason? Please?"

Frankie ran to his front door and picked Reason up as she watched the police car drive away, she walked up behind Mike and tapped on his arm.

"What is going on?"

Mike let out a sigh and gave Reason a pat on the head.

"We should go inside…"

Frankie nodded, they headed inside her house.

Mike sat on the couch not knowing how to break the news.

"So, you've been away?"

"Yeah, my son just moved, so I went to help him organise his new house…"

"Oh, that's nice."

There was a pause in the conversation, Frankie placed Reason on the floor and waited for Mike to explain. He looked up to her concerned face trying to find the words..

"Ah, so, I'm not really sure how to…"

"Mike, just tell me…"

Mike inhaled sharply and closed his eyes.

"Kate died…"

He didn't mean for it to come out so bluntly, but there was no way to sugarcoat it. Frankie placed her hands over her mouth, she leaned in towards Mike hoping she had misheard.

"What?"

"She, umm, well, the police think it was a robbery gone wrong…"

"Okay, so that doesn't explain why Dylan was being led away by the police."

"Well, they searched his house, apparently there was some kind of tip off or something. I don't know who would do that but, they found a gun, one that potentiality matched the one that was used to killed her…"

Frankie streamed down her cheeks, she shook her head in disbelief.

"He didn't do it, you know that right? He loved her!"

"Yeah, I know, and the truth will come out, but I've told him to cooperate in the meantime."

Frankie jumped up from the couch and paced the room trying to make sense of the awful news.

"So, she was shot? Where, what happened?"

"Ah, she apparently sent Dutchy a message saying help, he went to her house, and it had been ransacked. He noticed a trail of blood and he found her at the beach."

Frankie gasped and placed her hands over her heart.

"He found her?"

"Yeah, she was still alive."

"Oh, god, I need to see him, I need to check that he's okay."

Mike and Frankie headed to the police station, they stood at the counter trying to get someone's attention. The office was chaos, officers continued to ignore them, Frankie became impatient whistled.

"Excuse me?"

A young constable stopped and turned looking flustered.

"Sorry, Ma'am, we're dealing with a big case right now. How can I help you?"

"My friend was just brought in, Dylan Mulholland?"

"Oh, umm, I'm sorry I can't discuss…"

"Can I see him?"

"Sorry, you'll have to wait."

The officer walked away from the counter, Frankie shook her head and plonked herself on the closest chair.

Dutchy sat at a table in the interview room, his head in his hands. Detective Summerside sat opposite him and cleared his throat.

"So, where did this gun come from if it's not yours?"

Dutchy removed his hands for a moment and exhaled sharply.

"Shouldn't I wait for my lawyer?"

"Up to you, but if you're innocent..."

"It's not mine..."

A uniformed officer entered the room and whispered in Detective Summerside's ear, he nodded and glanced back at Dutchy.

"Well, how do you explain your prints being on it?"

"What?"

"Forensics have found one set of prints, they're yours, do you wanna tell us how they got on there?"

He had no idea, but he knew that there wasn't an explanation good enough for them to believe him.

"I can't..."

"So, when did you discover Kate was undercover?"

"Well, a week ago, but I since found out she was lying about what she was undercover for."

"And how did that make you feel? You girlfriend had lied to you about everything, she wasn't who she said she was. "

Dutchy knew he was trying to trap him, he tried to keep his cool.

"How do you think I felt?"

Detective Summerside leaned in close over the table and raised an eyebrow.

"That's want I want to know..."

Dutchy threw his hands in the air out of frustration, he leaned back on his chair and rubbed his hands over his face.

"Okay, I was upset, angry, like most normal people would be..."

"And did you argue about it?"

"Of course..."

"So, were you arguing at her house the day she was murdered?"

Dutchy's hands dropped from his face stunned at the accusation.

"Murder? You think I planned this?"

Detective Summerside scribbled in his notepad, his eyes darting up to Dutchy every so often.

"You're the one telling the story, Petty Officer."

At that moment Dutchy's lawyer stormed in the interview room startling everyone.

"Dylan, don't say another word..."

Dutchy stood up shaking his head.

"No, I need to defend myself, I didn't do this!"

Detective Summerside slammed his folder shut and let out a scoff.

"Evidence says otherwise..."

Dutchy slammed his fist on the table and leaned over eyeballing Detective Summerside.

"Evidence? Seriously, anyone could have planted the gun in my house..."

"Yeah, but no one else has a motive."

"Motive? For god's sake, I loved her!"

Detective Summerside rose from his chair and paced around the table.

"Yeah, that's even more of a motive. Tell me, did you find out who she was undercover for?"

Dutchy sunk back into his chair and focused on the floor.

"Yeah, the N.I.I.D..."

Detective Summerside leaned in closer.

"Excuse me, I didn't hear you."

Dutchy exhaled sharply, he knew he had heard him.

"The N.I.I.D"

"And who she was investigating?"

Dutchy's lawyer stepped in between them halting the conversation.

"Dylan, I strongly advise you to stay quiet."

Dutchy ignored the suggestion.

"I dunno, dodgy sailors, I guess?"

Detective Summerside stopped and placed both hands on the table leaning towards Dutchy.

"Yeah, you..."

Dutchy recoiled slightly, this was news to him.

"Excuse me?"

Detective Summerside sat back down with a cocky smirk plastered over his face.

"What? You didn't know she was your target?"

"Of course not?"

Detective Summerside sensed he was caving, he folded his arms across his chest.

"Seems like a pretty good reason to kill her to me, she was about to expose you..."

Dutchy stood up, he had had enough.

"I'm not going to sit here and listen to you..."

Detective Summerside slammed the folder on the table and stood up to confront him.

"You will sit here for as long as it takes. You need to have a really good think about your answers, the more you cooperate, the better this will go for you..."

Dutchy sank back into the chair, he looked over to his lawyer who had a concerned look on his face.

"Can I make a phone call?"

End of Chapter 20.


	21. Chapter 21

Hey everyone!

I'm back! did you miss me? Lol!

So, my holiday did not cure my writers block! Grr! but on the upside I saw sooo many wombats! I Have bout 347 photos to prove it lol!

Hope you enjoy the next chapter! Thanks to everyone that's left a reviews! You keep me going! Keep them coming!

xx

Promise to Love Me, Even If You Hate Me.

Chapter 21

Lisa poured herself drink number four and flopped back onto the couch letting out a drunken sigh.

"Is this really my life?"

Warren snatched the glass out of her hand and took a sip and smirked.

"Apparently."

She rolled her eyes at his attempt to lighten the mood and swiped the glass back and sculled it.

"Well, I guess it's not all bad, I am in Hawaii..."

She got up and grabbed the bottle of vodka and poured herself another glass, spilling most of it on the table. Warren leaned over and attempted to steady her hand.

"Hey, be careful, your wasting precious vodka."

She fumbled the lid back on the bottle and fell back in to the couch.

"What if I really loved him?"

Warren was suddenly less tipsy, he sat up giving her his full attention.

"Well, did you? You never gave me an actual answer last time."

She took a sip and cringed, she still wasn't going to admit it.

"He was going to leave the navy for me..."

Warren let out a grunt at her unclear answer.

"Yeah, but, just because..."

She stumbled off the couch and walked around the room, she spun round to face him spilling her drink in the process.

"He told me you know, that he loved me, multiple times..."

Warren rose from the couch and took the glass from her.

"Other people have loved you Lis, it shouldn't be such a surprise..."

She broke eye contact but could still feel Warren's gaze burning into her, she snatched her glass back from his grip and downed it. She needed more than booze, running into her room she frantically searched her bag for the pills. Warren followed and snatched the bottle from her hand as soon as she retrieved them from her bag.

"No more! You can't block everything out, you know, if this has affected you this much, maybe it is time to get out..."

Lisa dropped her head, she felt like a failure, she knew her mind related feelings to weakness, but she didn't know how to stop it. She was so angry at herself, her feelings had potentially ruined the one thing she was good at, her job.

She sighed and pried the bottle out of Warren's hands, he stood there giving her a stern look, she sighed and poured the contents down the sink.

"Can I at least have another drink?"

Warren rolled his eyes and wrapped his arm around her shoulder and walked her back out to the lounge and poured her another drink.

"So, you really gonna leave me when we get back?"

She took the drink from him and shrugged falling back onto the couch.

"I dunno, but I think a change is definitely on the cards."

"Maybe you can do intel, we can still work together..."

Warren sat next to her hoping he could get her to open up a bit more, Lisa rubbed her forehead and leaned back on the couch.

"Yeah, I just gotta clear my head, get over this case and I'll see where I'm at. Maybe even move? I mean, I just, nothing feels like home anymore, I've been doing this so long, living in the shadows, that I don't feel like I've lived, does that make sense?"

He nodded taking a sip of his drink, Lisa looked over to him and smiled, he was the one person who probably understood, and she was thankful he was there to support her. He sighed and pat her on the knee.

"Yeah, it does, but I mean, you get to live multiple lives. You have a chance to see how other situations play out..."

"Warren, I want to be normal."

"You're anything but normal."

Lisa raised an eyebrow in his direction, Warren cleared his throat and rolled his eyes.

"I mean that in a good way."

Dutchy sat in the interview room with his lawyer while Detective Summerside discussed the case with a colleague outside.

"Who did you want to call?"

"I was gonna call one of Kate's work mates, Warren, I don't know if he could help somehow, he's in the N.I.I.D."

His lawyer sighed and stood from the table.

"Well, I guess anything would help at this point."

Dutchy desperately grabbed his arm sensing that he was giving up.

"What? You think I did it?"

"No, but..."

"But what? You think they can hold me?"

He placed his briefcase back on the table and sat back down next to Dutchy, letting out a deep breath he fiddled with the pen on the table.

"Dylan, at this stage, I think they have enough to charge you."

Dutchy sat there staring at him in disbelief.

"Charge me? With her murder?"

He nodded returning his gaze to Dutchy's panicked face.

"If this happens, we'll apply for bail, just cooperate and it'll be okay."

Dutchy rose from his chair shaking his head in complete disbelief.

"Be okay? You're saying I'm about to be charged with murder, how can it be okay?!"

Detective Summerside re-entered the room, Dutchy stared his down as he approached.

"Dylan Mulholland, we are charging you with the murder of Kate McGregor. We must inform you that anything you say may be used in evidence. You will be detained, and we will recommend that no bail be granted, however, you are able to dispute this at a hearing. Do you understand?"

Dylan stared into space as a high pinched ring filled his ears, he felt like he was going to be sick. He shook his head, his mind unable to comprehend what was happening. Before he knew it they had stripped him of his personal belongings and shoved into the watch house cell.

His lawyer walked out to the waiting area of the station, Frankie and Mike immediately rose from their chairs. Frankie grabbed his arms seeing his anxious expression.

"What's happening? Where is he?"

His eyes darted around the room trying to think of a way to break the news, but Frankie knew what his answer would be. Mike's gaze darted from him back to Frankie as he shook his head.

"You can't be serious, it's all circumstantial..."

"Mmm, well, they have the murder weapon and his prints all over it, not really circumstantial. I should be able to get bail, it's just a matter of getting it before a judge."

Lisa awoke the next morning still feeling out of sorts, stretching, she rolled out of bed and made her way out on to the balcony. Sitting down next to Warren she took a sip from his cup still pondering the previous night's conversation.

"It's so beautiful out here, maybe I should move somewhere tropical."

"Yeah, well, that might be a bit hard now, unless you wanna live in Darwin..."

"I just feel so unsettled..."

Warren sat up concerned about Lisa's continued agitated state.

"He really got to you didn't he? I've never seen you like this."

She had already discussed it more that she'd wanted to, especially with him. It was too painful, she was going to do what she did best, and bury the feeling deep down and concentrate on work.

Warren's phone rang, he looked at the caller ID and frowned, Lisa peered over his shoulder trying to see what made his expression change. He pulled the phone away from her eyeline and nudged her with his shoulder.

"Hey! Nosey!"

Lisa rolled her eyes and folded her arms across her chest as Warren answered the phone call.

"Hello?"

"Hi, this is Jack Stringer, I'm Dylan Mulholland's lawyer, do you have a minute to chat?"

Warren rose from his chair and moved away from Lisa's earshot.

"Ah, hi mate, this isn't really a good time... sorry..."

He hung up the phone, Lisa frowned seeing his uneasy expression.

"Everything okay?

He shoved the phone into his pocket and sat back down burying his head in the newspaper.

"Yeah, just work..."

Lisa frowned, work didn't normally cause him to react the way he did, she knew something odd was happening

"What's going on?"

"Nothing…"

He folded the paper and placed it on the table.

"C'mon, lets go do something crazy!"

He grabbed her hand and chucked his phone on the couch as he pulled her out the door.

They stood on the end of the boat as the crew lowered the cage into the water, Warren peered over the edge as one of the crew poured a bucket of chum over the side.

"Ah, you really wanna do this?"

Lisa nodded as she zipped up her wetsuit and jumped into the water, she resurfaced and smiled sweetly.

"You're the one who said you wanted to do something crazy!"

Warren took a deep breath in and placed the oxygen tank on his back and jumped into the water.

They treaded water as the cage was lowered deeper into the ocean, small reef sharks swarmed around the cage as they caught up with the sinking chum.

Lisa reached between the bars and attempted to touch a shark that swam by, Warren pulled her hand back in the cage and threw his hands above his head questioning her actions.

A few more metres down the cage stopped suddenly and the smaller sharks swam away, it was eerily still and dark. Suddenly, a large Great White appeared from nowhere and swam passed them, Lisa's eyes widened and pressed her face close to the bars. Another swam close and made eye contact with her, Warren stayed in the middle of the cage, nervous about the whole situation.

The sharks circled the cage eyeing them off like their next meal, Lisa was mesmerised. She swam to the top of the cage and hovered for a moment, she reached up and opened the hatch. She felt a tug on her foot, Warren glared at her in disbelief, she smiled and swam closer to the door. Reaching up for the latch she felt another tug, she ignored it and pushed the door open. She swam out and sat on the top of the cage, exposed to the sharks. She sat there still, calm, somehow it made her feel empowered, that she had some kind of control.

A shark swam directly above her, slowly, she extended her arm and ran her fingers on its belly as it passed above her.

She was about to reach out and touch another but she was pulled back into the cage, she was about to confront Warren when a Great White charged at the cage causing it to swing. Warren had had enough, he tugged on the rope indicating they wanted to surface.

Ripping off her mask as they surfaced, Warren shoved her against the side of the cage.

"What are you doing? Do you have a death wish?"

Lisa attempted to catch her breath and wiped the water from her face.

"Huh? No, I was…"

"Lisa, look, I don't know what's going on in your head, but being so reckless is so, so stupid! You act like you don't have anyone who cares about you, but that is bullshit…"

Lisa stood there staring at him blankly, trying to comprehend his tone, was he annoyed or worried? Warren tilted his head frustrated that she was clearly not listening, he grabbed her by her shoulders.

"Lisa? Do you hear me?"

She took a step forward and placed a hand on his cheek and leaned in and kissed him, he pulled back surprised at her actions.

"What are you doing?"

"I, I'm trying to make things right…"

Warren exhaled and stepped out of the cage and sat on the edge of the boat, Lisa positioned herself next to him. He let out a sigh and looked out to the water.

"It's not about making it right, I just, I can't be a band aid, I care for you, and…"

Lisa closed her eyes for a moment and slid her hand on top of his, she didn't know why she kissed him, did she still feel something for him or was she just using him?

"I'm sorry…"

"Look, more than anything I would love to just pick up where we left off, but we both know that can't happen. But maybe when we get home we could just hang out, as friends and, well, see what happens?"

Lisa nodded, worried she would say something else stupid, he turned and smiled nudging her with his shoulder.

"But, no more death defying activities, please?"

She laughed as she rested her head on his shoulder.

"Deal, cocktails and sun baking are as dangerous as it will get…"

They arrived back at the resort, Warren's phone vibrated on the couch as they entered the room. Lisa picked it up and frowned seeing 5 missed calls from the Cairns Police Station.

"Ah, I think someone wants to get a hold of you!"

She waived the phone in his face, Warren had forgot all about the call from Dutchy, he grabbed his phone and immediately called them back.

"Hi, this is Warren Delaney, yes, ah, yes, sorry, I'm not able to comment."

He hung up the phone and looked over to Lisa who was giving him a questioning glare.

"It's nothing, just closing up your case."

"Right…"

Lisa went to pull out her phone, Warren snatched it off her.

"I thought you wanted to forget all of this…"

She rolled her eyes and walked into her room, she grabbed her bag and rummaged around, she stopped remembering she had ditched the pills. Her hand felt the photo frame in the bottom of her bag and pulled it out. She ran her hand over Dutchy's face, tears formed in her eyes, she exhaled sharply and dropped the frame into the bin.

_The really crappy thing, the very worst part of grief is that you can't control it. The best we can do is try to let ourselves feel it when it comes, and let it go when we can. The very worst part is that the minute you think you're past it, it starts all over again. And always, every time, it takes your breath away. _

Dutchy sat on the hard bed of the watch house cell, his head in his hands. Hearing the door unlock he looked up, Frankie stood at the door, her arms outstretched.

"I'm taking you home…"

Dutchy rushed to the door and threw his arms around her.

"I'm so glad to see you!"

They sat on Frankie's lounge, Reason curled in his lap. Frankie handed him a cup of tea and sat beside him and placed a hand on his knee.

"Do you wanna talk about it?"

Dutchy took a sip of tea and cringed.

"Got anything stronger than this?"

Frankie shook her head and placed her cup on the table as she slapped his arm.

"Seriously? You've forgotten your release conditions already?"

"No, I was joking…"

Frankie stood above him and placed her hands on her hips.

"Dylan Mulholland, this isn't a joke!"

Dutchy dropped his head and placed his cup down.

"I know, and I promise I'll obey the rules…"

He looked down at the tracking bracelet on his ankle and sighed.

"And, I promise I'll pay you back every cent."

She shook her head as she sat back down and sighed.

"Dylan, what happened?"

Dutchy re-gripped his cup and spun it around in his hands.

"I, I told her I was going to leave the Navy…"

Frankie sipped on her tea as she raised an eyebrow trying not to react.

"She lost it, saying I was crazy, stupid, that I couldn't do it for her… but I wasn't doing it just for her, it was for us, and honestly, I was fine with it. Seeing the way she did her job, I mean, I think it made me realise that it's not what I wanted to do forever."

Frankie swallowed her mouthful unsure if she should ask questions.

"Okay, so how did it come to…"

"She broke it off…"

"You know she would have only done that so you wouldn't leave?"

He placed the cup back on to the table and rubbed his hands over his face.

"Yeah, but she wouldn't even listen. I kept calling her, and I came back to her house but we just fought again. Then the next time I heard from her it was a message saying help. So I rushed to her house and, it was trashed, her stuff was everywhere, and then I saw the blood..."

He dropped his head into his hands thinking about the moment.

"I followed it and found her lying on the beach, she was conscious, I tried to stop the bleeding. She was joking about me bossing her around, and then, then she was gone…"

Frankie placed her hand on his shoulder trying to give him some sort of comfort.

"And the gun?"

"I've got no idea, Mike was the one who found it, I don't know how it got there and how it got my prints on it, you believe me don't you?"

He looked up to Frankie, his desperate expression killed her, she wished she could make everything better.

"Of course, I know you loved her, Dylan…"

"Yeah, and they're calling that a motive."

Frankie shook her head and raked her hands through her hair.

"Okay, well, an alibi? I mean, what did you do after you fought?"

"I drove around then went home, I don't have anyone who can vouch for me."

"I could say you were with me…"

"Frankie, you can't do that, they'd find out, and that would make it look worse. I just have to trust the system."

He picked up Reason and rose from the couch.

"I think I'm just going to head to bed…"

Frankie gave him a halfhearted smile.

"Okay, well, you're restricted to my house now, so I'll grab your stuff tomorrow, I've made up the spare room for you."

He leaned down and gave her a kiss on the cheek.

"Thanks, I don't know what I'd do without you."

Warren knocked on Lisa's bedroom door and tried the door handle.

"Hey, you all right in there?"

She frantically wiped the tears from her cheeks, Warren poked his head in the door, she rose from the bed and wiped her cheeks again.

"Yeah?"

He cautiously stepped inside the room.

"You sure?"

She glanced back at the bin and placed a smile on her face, she walked out of the room hoping he wouldn't see the photo.

"I can't believe we have to leave tomorrow."

Warren was suspicious of her change of mood, he could see she had been crying, she walked out on to the balcony and gazed over the ocean. Going home scared her, what was she going back too? Nothing, no one.

"Hey, I don't want this to sound weird but, when we get home do you mind if I stay with you for a bit?"

Warren couldn't help but smile, she turned and saw his mischievous smile, she scoffed and playfully shoved him.

"Not like that, I just, I don't wanna be by myself that's all…"

"Sure, I'd love to have the company."

There was an awkward silence in the conversation.

"But, don't blame me when you fall head over heels in love with me, okay?"

She let out a snort and rolled her eyes, he handed her a glass of champagne.

"To our last night in paradise…"

She smiled and clinked her glass against his.

"And to only looking forward, not back…"

Warren nodded as he took a sip.

"I like it…Roomie."

Lisa took a deep breath in and looked back out over the water, she wondered if she could ever feel normal again, the way she did before, before she met him.

_We have to keep reinventing ourselves almost every minute because the world can change in an instant, and there's no time for looking back. Sometimes the changes are forced on us, sometimes they happen by accident, and we make the most of them. We have to constantly come up with new ways to fix ourselves, so we change, we adapt, we create new versions of ourselves. We just need to be sure that this one is an improvement over the last._

End of Chapter 21.


	22. Chapter 22

Promise To Love Me, Even When You Hate Me.

Chapter 22.

The next morning Dutchy awoke hoping the previous day's events were a terrible dream. He placed his feet on the ground and looked down feeling a weight on his ankle, he let out a sharp breath seeing the monitor bracelet, it wasn't a dream.

He rose from the bed as Reason scratched on the door, opening it she ran outside and zoomed around the backyard. He made his way out to the kitchen and found Frankie making breakfast, she heard him approach and poured him a cup of coffee.

"How d'you sleep, sweetie?"

Dutchy dragged to the bench and hunched himself over cradling the cup.

"Is this really happening?"

Frankie sighed and sat next to him placing an arm around him.

"Everything will be okay."

He let out a defeated sigh, he was sick of people saying that everything would be okay, nothing about his current situation was okay. Frankie could sense his fragile state, she wasn't going to let him bury himself in negativity.

"Dylan, it's gonna be okay, I promise."

Dutchy froze, the words repeated in his head, it was exactly what he said to Kate as she lay dying in his arms. He suddenly felt sick, his breathing became rapid and his stomach felt heavy, he ran to the bathroom making it just in time. Frankie sighed and filled a glass with water and followed him into the bathroom, she perched herself on the edge of the bathtub and handed him the glass.

"Dylan, we're going to deal with this, there's no way that..."

Dutchy lifted his head and propped himself up on the bath.

"But I'm their only suspect..."

She rose from the bath and placed her hand on her hips.

"I'm gonna go speak to your boss..."

Dutchy grabbed her arm to stop her leaving, he didn't want her to do anything to make the situation worse.

"No, don't do that!"

"Well, you can't leave the house, so who's gonna stop me!"

Dutchy cursed at the ugly bracelet that was wrapped around his ankle and rolled his eyes, she was right, what could he do to stop her?

"Fine! Just keep your cool!"

Frankie strutted into NAVCOM and stood at the security desk.

"I'd like to see Commander White, please."

The guard barely looked up from the book he was reading.

"Do you have an appointment?"

"No... but."

He waved his hand in the air dismissing her.

"I'm sorry Ma'am, she's incredibly busy..."

Frankie stood her ground and raised an eyebrow at his ignorance.

"Yes, I'm sure she is, however, this is important, it's about one of her crew and his wellbeing."

The security guard let out a huff and put down his book, he glanced up at her looking unimpressed.

"Look Ma'am, I'm sure she's aware of..."

Frankie leaned over the counter becoming more agitated by the second.

"I don't think you're listening, son."

2Dads heard the commotion as he acceded the stairs, he tilted his head as he approached recognising her.

"Frankie? What are you doing here?"

She glared at the guard before turning to face 2Dads.

"Now you're in trouble!"

She approached 2Dads and wrinkled her face trying to remember his name.

"Oh, umm, Double Dads? Is that right?"

2Dads laughed at his apparent nickname.

"It's 2Dads, but Leo is fine..."

Frankie grabbed his arm and dragged him towards the security desk.

"I was just trying to see your Commander about Dylan, but this guy doesn't think it's important enough..."

2Dads leaned over the desk and gave him a pat on the shoulder.

"It's okay, Rick, she's with me..."

He shrugged and picked up his book.

"Okay, your funeral..."

Frankie shot the guard a satisfied look and walked off with 2Dads.

"Frankie, what's going on?"

"They charged him, 2Dads, he's at my house with an ankle monitor until the trial."

"What?!"

His voice was so loud it made everyone in the main office stop and stare, 2Dads ushered her into the nearest free room.

They sat at a table, Frankie exhaled and closed her eyes trying to get her mind together to explain.

"Mike found a gun at his house…"

"Huh? How?"

"I don't exactly know, but it was while the cops were searching, I came here cos I thought your Commander could do something."

2Dads couldn't believe what he was hearing, he shifted his chair closer.

"Okay, start from, well, when we docked, after the service, they had a warrant, but..."

"Mike found a gun, apparently it had his prints on it and they matched the gun and the bullet they got from Kate, so they charged him, his lawyer thinks they have enough evidence to make a case…"

2Dads ran his hands through his hair, the story was getting worse for Dutchy.

"Did you know she wasn't, umm, she wasn't who she said she was."

Frankie tilted her head looking puzzled, 2Dads could tell from her expression she had no idea what he was talking about. He hesitated wondering how he should break the news.

"She was undercover, like, she was in the navy, but not. She worked for a department in the Navy, they sent her to check up on us…"

Frankie brow creased as she attempted to process what 2Dads was saying.

"So, what? She was, what?"

"Well, I dunno, but she lied, apparently she was after Dutchy…"

Frankie rose from the chair and paced around the table, she had seen them together, there was no way someone could fake their chemistry.

"She can't have been, I mean, he loved her, she loved him, I saw it…"

2Dads shrugged knowing full well the length people would go to for something they wanted.

"I dunno, I mean, we all saw them together that night when, well, when we found out about them. But then, I didn't see him to talk about it before she, before she was gone. I'm assuming that her investigating him won't help his case?"

Frankie re-positioned herself next to him.

"Yeah, I don't know what to do, he's at home feeling so many things, scared, betrayed, and I can't help him, but I thought your Commander might?"

"I don't think they can do much, it's a police investigation, whether or not she was undercover it's their call. The only one who can prove his innocence is her, and that's not going to happen."

"Why don't you come over later, maybe try to cheer him up, but umm, he can't drink, so no beer…"

"Sure, I'll bring some food."

Lisa walked into Warren's apartment and placed her bags on the ground scanning the room, Warren noticed her wandering eyes and let out a groan.

"Okay, just judge me out loud."

Lisa wandered around the living room nodding with approval.

"I'm not judging... it's just, this place is a lot nicer than your last one."

"Yeah, well, I've had a few places since the once you've seen..."

There was an awkward silence, Lisa cleared her throat and picked up her bag.

"So, which one is my room?"

Later that night Warren was in the kitchen cooking dinner, Lisa sat on the couch flicking through the channels.

"Have you got Netflix?"

Warren poked his head out from the kitchen.

"Nope…"

"We'll have to fix that…"

Lisa scrolled through the apps and downloaded Netflix, after it downloaded she signed into her account. Warren passed her a glass of wine and sat next to her.

"When do you have time to watch TV?"

Lisa flipped the remote around in her hand slightly embarrassed about her TV watching habits.

"I think it's the only thing that kept me sane, the thought that someone else had more drama in their life than me…"

"Really? And what show's that?"

Lisa's face lit up and pointed the remote at the screen highlighting Grey's Anatomy, Warren snatched the remote from her hand.

"Nope, absolutely not, I can't… You'll have to watch it when I'm not here…"

Lisa put on her best puppy sad face while attempting to reach for the remote, Warren shook his head and held it higher.

"Nope, it's not gonna work on me…"

She latched onto his arm smiling sweetly.

"Oh, c'mon, it's not your secret dirty pleasure?"

He peeled her arm off of his and shook his head.

"Nope…"

Lisa crossed her arms over her chest, Warren rolled his eyes and let out a groan and gave in.

"Fine, one episode, and then we'll watch something I want to watch!"

Warren spent the next 45 minutes groaning and fidgeting, it came to the closing monologue, Lisa playfully shoved him wanting to hear.

"Can you just shush for one minute…"

_Meredith voice over: Ask most people what they want out of life and the answer is simple, to be happy. Maybe it's this expectation of wanting to be happy that just keeps us from ever getting there. Maybe the more we try to will ourselves to states of bliss, the more confused we get, to the point where we don't recognize ourselves. Instead, we just keep smiling, trying to be the happy people we wish we were. Until it eventually hits us, it's been there all along. Not in our dreams or our hopes but in the known, the comfortable, the familiar._

Lisa turned to Warren waiting for some type of smart ass comment, she raised an eyebrow not believing he had nothing to say. Warren looked at her innocently.

"What?"

"No groans or huffs or…?"

He folded his arms over his chest and shrugged.

"No, that was pretty insightful, actually."

Lisa let out a hiss not believing his sincerity.

"Sure…"

Warren turned off the TV and shuffled his body to face her.

"Why do you really watch this?"

Lisa shrugged buying her time wondering if she should be honest, she didn't want him to think she was a total head case.

"I guess it makes me feel better, in a strange way."

"C'mon Lis, your life isn't that bad…"

"Sometimes I feel like my life should be one of the dramatic episodes, or like, made into Disney movie…"

Warren was lost, they were two completely different genres.

"Have you ever noticed that in the beginning of most Disney movies the parents die, and the orphan is given to some evil corporation or to the evil step queen or something stupid like that?"

Warren let out a scoff, it was a ridiculous comparison.

"Now that is stupid, are you saying that the NIID is the evil corporation that tuned you into something you didn't want to be?"

She turned off the TV, she knew he wouldn't understand.

"Sometimes I just think if I wasn't so mad at the world about my parents that I might have chosen a different path that enabled me to have a life, have a family."

"But this job doesn't mean you can't have those things."

"It kinda does if you're undercover all the time, if you were my husband would you be happy not knowing what I did for a living? Be happy with me pretending to be in love with someone else?"

Warren hesitated, she knew that his silence meant that she was right.

"Yeah, that's what I thought."

"Lis, it's not like you to be so negative, I mean, yeah, shitty things happen and…"

Lisa smile faded wondering if he realised what he was saying.

"Oh right, so my parents dying, that was just a shitty thing to happen?"

He didn't know why she was suddenly so aggravated, he didn't mean to be so defensive but it just came out.

"Hey, your dad didn't have to stick his nose in where it didn't belong…"

Warren immediately regretted his words, Lisa removed herself from the couch not wanting to be near him, Warren followed feeling awful.

"Lis, I'm sorry…"

She ignored him and headed out the front door, he pulled on her arm.

"Come on…"

She spun round to confront him.

"No! How dare you? This is what we do, we stick our noses in. So what, we deserve to die too?"

He wasn't going to let her win this argument, she was being unreasonable.

"That's not what I said."

She shook her head and pulled her arm away from him.

"Lis, please, I'm sorry, I just don't want you to think that wanting to honour your parents was a mistake, and that your life is a waste cos you don't have a family. Just come back inside…"

She let out a sign and stood there for a moment, Warren intertwined his hand with hers.

"You're great at your job, but you can't catch all the bad guys."

Lisa broke eye contact, how did he know how she felt? Warren re-gripped her hand sensing she was coming around.

"I know you, Lis, as much as you don't want to me to, I do."

Lisa stepped back inside, Warren led her to the couch.

"Why do you care so much?"

Warren looked over to her and raised an eyebrow.

"You know why…"

She broke eye contact, she knew why, but she had blocked it out.

"Okay, but, can I ask, why do you like me?"

"Lisa, do you not see how incredible you are? You've been through hell and you're still this amazing person. I have not met a stronger, yet more stubborn woman in my life."

Lisa couldn't help but blush.

"Okay, stop, seriously."

"You know, while I'm being all sentimental and stuff, I'm sorry for being a complete dick to you for the past, well, couple of years."

"We've done this Warren, don't make it weird."

"I'm going to, look, back then I didn't exactly know what happened to your parents, but I heard some things, and Shaun told me to back off a little but I didn't know why, I just couldn't help myself. Lisa, I loved you and..."

"Warren..."

"Didn't your precious Grey's Anatomy just say that sometimes you just stop and refocus, because your happiness could be right next to you, in the comfortable, the familiar, staring you in the face?

Lisa's eyes narrowed, he was using her show against her.

"You actually listened?"

"Lisa, for a second, can you just think about it for a moment, we were good and…"

Lisa brought her eyes up to meet his, she didn't want to mess this up again.

"I know, but like you said I can't let you can't be a band aid. I won't let myself do that to you again, I just need to make sure that I'm ready."

Lisa lay her head on Warren's shoulder, hoping that she hadn't upset him. She waited a minute and slowly pulled the remote towards her.

"One more episode?"

Warren pulled the remote back towards him shaking his head.

"Nope, not even if you play the orphan card."

A smirk came over his face as she playfully whacked him on the arm.

"You're awful!"

End Chapter 22.

xx


	23. Chapter 23

Promise To Love Me, Even When You Hate Me.

Chapter 23.

Dylan lay on the couch watching Grey's Anatomy, he sighed, his favourite show now reminded him of happy times he'd rather forget. Reason jumped up onto his lap and started to whine, he pulled her close and gave her a cuddle.

"Sorry, cutie, I can't take you for a walk..."

He smiled as she spun round in a circle settling into his lap making herself comfortable, it was like she had sensed he needed some love. He turned his attention back to the TV.

_Meredith voiceover: Every cell in the human body regenerates on average every seven years. Like snakes, in our own way we shed our skin. Biologically we are brand new people. We may look the same, we probably do, the change isn't visible, at least not in most of us, but we are all changed, completely, forever._

He let out a grunt and stroked the top of Reason's head.

"7 years to be a brand new person, huh?"

2Dads and Frankie walked in the door, Dutchy quickly changed the channel.

2Dads plonked himself down next to him and opened the pizza box.

"Bought your favourite, meat lovers with pineapple."

"Thanks..."

Dutchy stared blankly at the TV barely acknowledging him. 2Dads nudged him and handed him a slice, he glanced at him out the corner of his eye.

"So, you okay?"

Dutchy took the slice from him and said nothing, 2Dads winced realising it was a stupid question.

"Ah, yeah, sorry. So, umm, everyone says hi."

Dutchy chucked the pizza back into the box and leaned back on the couch focusing back on the TV.

"Why aren't they here then, saying it to my face?"

2Dads looked over to Frankie for help, he wasn't expecting such a cold reception, she gave him a slight nod encouraging him to continue.

"C'mon mate, they didn't want to overwhelm you."

"More like they didn't know what to say."

"Yeah, well, exactly. People never know what to say when a horrible thing happens."

Dutchy let out a hiss as he changed the channel.

"Things..."

"Huh?!"

Dutchy whipped his head around making eye contact with 2Dads.

"Horrible things, plural, Kate's dead, 2Dads, and I'm about to go to jail for it."

"Dutchy, don't be stupid!"

Dutchy stood from the couch and paced the room, he was sick of everyone sugar coating everything.

"2Dads, they have a gun, with my prints on it, someone heard us arguing and..."

"But you didn't do it?"

Dutchy spun round confused at his tone.

"That sounded more like a question than a statement."

2Dads lept up from the couch and grabbed his arm knowing full well what he was trying to do.

"Don't push us away, Dutchy."

He shrugged off his grip and headed to his bedroom.

"I think you should go..."

Frankie approached 2Dads and placed a hand on his shoulder.

"He'll come round, dear."

The next morning Lisa sat at the kitchen bench eating her breakfast and reading the paper. There was a knock on the door, Shaun's brow furrowed as she swung open the door.

"Ah, hi... what are you doing here?"

"I'm umm, staying here for a bit..."

Shaun tried not to look surprised as he entered the house.

"That's, umm, unexpected…"

Lisa wrinkled her face, Shaun laughed at her expression and sat at the bench and poured himself a cup of coffee.

"Well, last time I saw you guys you were at each other's throats..."

She sat down beside him and fiddled with the newspaper.

"Well, we talked..."

Shaun picked up his mug and took a sip trying to hide his sceptical expression.

"Is that all?"

Lisa eyes widened and shot up to meet his.

"Yes, just talked…"

He laughed at her reaction and shook his head.

"Actually, I owe him fifty bucks. I told him there was no way you'd go away with him."

"Well, I wasn't gonna turn down a trip to Hawaii…"

There was an awkward pause in the conversation, Shaun didn't want to pry but she was like a daughter to him.

"So, you guys are... umm..."

Shaun waited for Lisa to finish his sentence, she hesitated, she had no idea what they were.

"I don't know, I guess I realised he was only the way he was because he loved me…"

Shaun rolled his eyes as he picked up a piece of her toast.

"Loved? I think you mean, loves, present tense."

She glared back at him indicating she didn't want to talk about it, Shaun's eyes darted around the room trying to think of a way to change the subject.

"Anyway, umm, now you're back…"

Lisa held up her hands to pause the conversation.

"Before you start with the work talk, I wanna start with the work talk…"

Shaun re-positioned himself on a stool and placed his cup on the bench giving her his full attention.

"This ought to be good."

Lisa spun her cup around in her hands trying to work up the courage to say what her heart wanted.

"I, I umm, I want out…"

She cringed, it wasn't exactly delicate, but it was the truth, Shaun flinched nearly sending his cup flying.

"What? Last time you mentioned it I thought you were joking."

"Yeah, I wasn't one hundred percent sure until I said it right now, but yeah, I am, I want a life."

Again, he didn't want to make it any harder on her but he knew the reason she joined and how much it meant to her.

"But what about your legacy to your parents, isn't this what you wanted to do for them?"

"Yeah, but I'm sure they'd want me to be happy doing it."

Shaun hesitated for a moment tilting his head.

"You're not happy?"

"Well, I love my job but..."

He wrinkled his face unintentionally, if she loved it, then what was the issue? A light bulb went off in his mind.

"Oh…"

His response confused her, she whacked him on the arm.

"What?"

"I didn't say anything…"

"No, but your face did..."

"Ignore me, it's your life..."

"Yeah, it is, anyway, so, if my case is wrapped up…"

"Ah, as far as I know, sorry I've been MIA, another case come up, so I left Warren to clean yours up."

"Well then, I'm officially giving you my 2 week's notice."

He grasped her arm, he knew she was in a fragile state and didn't want her to make any decisions she'd later regret.

"Lis, just hang on, don't you want to have another job first? Why don't you just transfer for now, I'm sure we can get you a desk job?"

She knew he was right, it was stupid to leave without another position. She had a lot of things thanks to her job, cheap rent and lots of living allowances, she wouldn't be able to afford a real life with no job.

"Yeah, okay, I'm giving you my notice from undercover work then…"

He gave her a single nod and finished his coffee.

"Okay, well if I've learned anything by you, it's that I'm not going to win an argument with you."

Lisa smiled satisfied and rose from her stool.

"Good call…"

Warren walked down the stairs and flinched seeing Shaun.

"Boss, what are you doing here?"

"Just checking in, was actually going to see how the case ended up…"

"Yeah, case closed, no dramas!"

Lisa raised her hand, they both looked at her and laughed.

"But what about the calls from the police station?"

Warren shrugged and walked into the kitchen.

"Oh, yeah that was fine, just tying up loose ends you know… we haven't killed you before so we needed to make sure it was all done and dusted."

Warren put on a smile and grabbed a cup and poured himself a coffee, Shaun cleared his throat and headed for the door.

"Right, well, umm, have you broken the news to Warren?'

Lisa scowled in his direction, Shaun laughed and made a quick exit. Warren sat next to Lisa and exhaled.

"What have you done?"

Lisa didn't want to discuss it, she knew he was going to try to talk her out of it. She knew he only wanted the best for her, but she had made up her mind. She scurried off to her room and shut the door, letting out a sigh she flopped onto the bed.

She tossed and turned unable to get herself comfortable, settling on her back she stared at the ceiling and let out a frustrated growl. Her mind was a mess, her reasons for leaving were all true, but she wondered if she wanted those things because Dutchy had inspired her. She didn't want to lead Warren on again, but maybe this time she was ready to accept love. Previously, she couldn't let herself be happy because she was grieving, but now she felt difference, maybe Dutchy had awoken her feelings. Either way, she knew that her parents would have wanted her to be happy and move on.

She lay there for what felt like hours thinking about her future, she knew she wasn't going to have one by closing herself off. Taking a deep breath in she rolled off the bed and joined Warren on the couch.

"Everything okay?"

She nodded and shifted closer.

"I've been thinking…"

"Uh oh…"

A large grin came over his face as she playfully punched his arm.

"You still, I mean, we…"

"McDonald, just spit it out…"

Lisa closed her eyes and took a deep breath in.

"Maybe we could give it another go?"

A small smile crept across his face as he tilted his head unsure that he heard her correctly.

"Really?"

"Yup, but, slow, okay?"

His eyes widened and placed his hands on her hips, picking her up he swung her around, she let out a squeal.

"Hey! I'm still sore from where you shot me!"

He placed her back on the floor and laughed.

"What a story to tell the kids, huh? When Daddy shot Mummy?"

Lisa froze for a moment, he was already jumping in, moving too fast.

"Warren..."

He held up his hands in defence.

"I'm joking!"

Lisa's eyes narrowed as she playfully hit him on the shoulder.

Dutchy sat on the couch watching TV, he hadn't moved all day. Frankie sat next to him and snatched the remote from his hands.

"C'mon, get up, I can't stand seeing you like this."

He ignored his turning his body away from her, she let out a grunt and grabbed his shoulder, he spun round, tears in his eyes.

"What am I supposed to do? I can't go to work, I can't go anywhere, I'm stuck here, waiting to go to jail!"

Frankie let out a growl as she rose to her feet and walked away before she said something stupid. She grit her teeth and turned back to face him.

"Do you want me to go get more of your stuff?"

Dutchy knew her was taking his anger out on the wrong person, he let out a sigh and stood close to her.

"Frankie, I'm sorry..."

"It's okay, you're under a lot of pressure."

Frankie returned with 2 bags of his belongings, she plonked one next to him on the couch and walked over to the mantle. Dutchy stood to see what she was doing, she placed photo frames on the mantlepiece. His eyes scanned the photos one by one, a small smile crept across his face until he came to the last one, it was a photo of him and Kate.

"Really?"

She straightened the frame and walked away.

"Yes..."

Before he could respond his phone rang.

"Hello? Yes, okay, 10am, I'll be out the front."

He hung up the phone and flopped back on to the couch.

"My arraignment is tomorrow."

"What does that mean?"

"It's where I officially enter my plea..."

Frankie shook her head and let out a huff.

"I don't know how they're doing this!"

Dutchy shrugged, he didn't have the energy to defend himself.

"Well... they are..."

The next morning Dutchy nervously sat in the courtroom, his knee bounced up and down incessantly. He swallowed hard as the judge entered the room and stood from hi chair.

"Mr Mulholland you are being charged with the murder of Kate McGregor, how do you plea?"

For a split second he thought about changing his answer, then it would all be over, but then his life would be over, either way, he had lost.

"Mr Mulholland?"

"Not guilty, your honour."

The judge hesitated for a moment and looked at the paperwork in front of him.

"Right, are we prepared to start this trial in three days?"

A "Yes, your honour" came from both lawyers.

"Right, see you in 3 days..."

Dutchy exited the courtroom with his lawyer, the crew stood off to the side waiting for him. He glanced up and saw their troubled expression, he couldn't face them, he turned and exited the building. Frankie approached the group.

"Sorry guys, he's just, you know how he can be. I'll keep you updated."

She placed a hand on 2Dads shoulder who was looking particularly disheartened.

"Don't take it personally, love."

Lisa stood at the doorway of Warren's bedroom and tapped on the door frame. Warren looked up from the book he was reading and smiled. Lisa giggled and plonked herself on the bed next to him.

"You read?"

He scoffed as he put down the book.

"What's up? You scared of the dark?"

"Yeah, sure, nah, just wanted some company."

"Yeah right, you just wanted to see me naked…"

She rolled her eyes and shoved him.

"I just forgot how nice it was to have company, you know. I don't want to go jumping back into this but it's hard when you've got history…"

Warren wrapped his arm around her.

"It's okay, there aren't any rules, I mean, we're adults, we can sleep in the same bed right?"

"Yeah, I guess…"

She lay he head on his shoulder and closed her eyes.

A couple of hours later Lisa was asleep, Warren was still wide awake, his mind filled with regret. He was finally getting what he wanted, and he was realising he didn't need to do awful things to get it. He slowly removed himself from the bed and crept out of the room. He removed his phone from his pocket and dialled a number.

"Harris, it's Delaney, yeah, we need to call it off... what do you mean you can't?… Well take the case back from Summerside!… Okay, we'll make it disappear then… I'll figure something out, I'll call you tomorrow!"

He ended the call and gripped the phone in his hand, kicking the wall he let out a aggravated grunt. Lisa had heard the muffled voice and opened the bedroom door.

"What are you yelling at?"

"Oh, umm, sorry, I had a cramp, and I was trying to walk it off."

"Right..."

He wrapped his arm around her shoulder and led her back into the bedroom.

"Well, if you wouldn't take up three quarters of the bed!"

End Chapter 23


	24. Chapter 24

Promise To Love Me, Even When You Hate Me.

Chapter 24.

The next morning Lisa had been called into N.I.I.D HQ to discuss her next role. She sat in an office with Shaun and her new potential boss, he flicked through her file glancing up periodically meeting her nervous face.

"So, McDonald, why do you want to transfer to intel work? Seems like you've been smashing it out on the field."

Lisa held her tongue, she was sick of defending her decision, why couldn't people just be supportive? Surely these people knew what it was like, how hard it was to have a normal life. She placed a smile on her face and snapped into professional mode.

"To be honest, Sir, I just want to have a life..."

He raised and eyebrow as he continued to read her file.

"Right...well, there's nothing wrong with that, I just don't want you to get bored."

She was relieved that he seemed to understand, and that there weren't anymore questions.

"I won't, Sir, I promise..."

"Well, I don't think this will be an issue, Shaun has plenty of great things to say about you, and he's an old hand so... welcome to the team!"

She smiled with relief and shook his hand as he rose from the chair.

"Thank you so much, Sir!"

Shaun and Lisa exited the office, he pulled on her arm a little.

"Are you sure this is what you want?"

She crossed her arms over her chest and raised an eyebrow.

"Boss, I've gotta start making decisions for what's best for me..."

"While were on that, I'm gonna be all fatherly... Warren..."

She shook her head and walked off, she didn't want to hear what he had to say, but he quickly followed behind her.

"Boss, I'm not discussing this with you..."

He ignored her request and re gripped her arm.

"Are you sure you're not jumping in too fast?"

"I said I'm not discussing this…"

She pulled her arm away and walked off, he wasn't going to drop it, he continued to follow.

"C'mon Lisa, I saw how you were with Dylan, I think you actually had..."

She stopped abruptly, he nearly ran into the back of her. She spun round with a stone cold expression on her face.

"I'll stop you right there, none of that was real, Warren is real, and he cares for me..."

Shaun could see she was overwhelmed, he placed a hand on her shoulder trying to calm her but she immediately shrugged it off.

"Yeah, but is he really what you need right now?"

She hesitated ever so slightly.

"Yes, it is, he makes me happy! What happened to not arguing with me cos you know you wouldn't win?"

He let out a sigh and dropped his head a little knowing he needed to back off.

"Okay... as long as you're happy..."

"I'm more than happy, Shaun!"

Lisa scurried off before she burst into tears, she knew she had something special with Dutchy but she couldn't think about it, she needed to deny, deny, deny, she was moving on, it was best for everyone.

Lisa drove back to her house, she unlocked the door and flicked on the lights, it felt so empty and cold. She wondered weather it had always felt like this, but she didn't notice because she was always busy with work. Walking into her room she wrapped her arms around herself, It was quiet, too quiet, she could her hear thoughts. She ran to her wardrobe and grabbed her suitcase, gathering up some of her clothes and toiletries she shoved them into the suitcase. She stopped at the front door and turned, letting out a sigh she slowly closed the door and drove back to Warren's house.

Lisa struggled with her suitcase through the front door, the wheels caught the lip of the door, Warren smirked watching her battle with it.

"You want help?"

She shot him a death glare, he ran to her side and lifted the suitcase over the lip of the door.

"Ah, what's all this?"

"So, you know how you said earlier that we were both adults and there were no rules?"

"Yeah?"

"Ah, how about I move in?"

Warren was stunned for a moment.

"Seriously? Are you sure you want to do this? You said you wanted to go slow."

She frowned slightly, he had spent the past couple of weeks trying to convince her that his feelings were real, and now he was questioning her?

"Of course!"

Later that night they sat in bed reading, Lisa's her head was spinning, her spur of the moment decision was sinking in. She placed the book on the bedside table and let out a huff.

"Why did you ask me if I was sure?"

Before he could answer his phone rang, he looked at the caller ID and rose from the bed, Lisa grabbed his arm stopping him.

"Where are you going?"

"It's work, need my computer."

Lisa picked up her book and Warren headed downstairs, he answered the phone as he opened his laptop.

"Harris?"

"I can't get it Warren…"

"Why not?"

"They're going to trial in a couple of days… it's in the evidence locker, under surveillance."

"I've got an IT guy, he can shut off the cameras…"

"I dunno, I could get canned for this, or worse."

"C'mon, it's fine, my guy will shut off the power, he's not traceable. You owe me, remember, you wouldn't have this job if…"

There was silence on the other end of the phone.

"Harris, please…"

"Okay, but if I get caught you're going down with me."

"Thanks, tomorrow, we'll get it done tomorrow…"

Warren hung up the phone and ran his hand through his hair letting out a sigh.

"Shit…"

The next afternoon Dutchy's phone rang waking him, her rubbed his hands over his face and picked up the phone.

"Hello?"

"Dylan, it's Jack, umm, just letting you know that there's been some developments..."

Dutchy sat up in bed hearing his lawyer's concerned tone.

"What? They've found something? Someone has confessed?"

"Ah, no, it seems that a piece of the evidence has gone missing."

"What?"

"Yeah, the gun is gone..."

"Does that mean the trial is cancelled?"

"No, the evidence was still logged and the paperwork trail I still valid, and there's the ballistics report, so they can still proceed with the trial."

"Oh..."

"I just thought you should hear it from me, I'll keep you updated."

Frankie knocked on the door hearing him on the phone.

"Dylan, hun, you okay?"

"Yeah.."

She poked her head in the door.

"Who was that?"

"Ah, that was my lawyer, apparently some evidence had gone missing..."

"That's great! If there's no evidence then..."

"No, apparently they can still go through with it."

She sat on the edge of the bed and placed a hand on his knee.

"Well, it has to help doesn't it?"

"I dunno, it may just make me look more guilty."

"Listen, ah, why don't I get some of your crew mates around, have some lunch, catch up."

"What, like a last supper?"

Frankie whacked him on the shoulder.

"Dylan, the truth comes out, it always does."

"No, I can't bring them into this."

That afternoon Warren had shut himself in his office, Lisa sat on the couch watching TV. There was a knock on the door, Lisa called out to Warren.

"Want me to get it?"

"Yeah, it's your house now too!"

His words caused her to freeze for a moment, her actions were still sinking in. She ran to the door and swung it open.

"I have a package for Warren Delaney..."

He held out the PDA for her to sign.

"Ah, sure..."

She signed her name on the screen and he handed her the package and gave her a nod. She placed it on the table and sat back down on the couch still in a semi-daze.

Warren walked down the stairs curious about the door knocker.

"Who was that?"

Lisa pointed to the package on the table and turned her attention back to the TV, Warren let out a scoff.

"Now we're like an old married couple."

She snapped her head round to face him.

"What?"

He laughed at her stunned reaction and shook his head.

"Grunting and pointing, no communication..."

Lisa rolled her eyes and got up and retrieved the package and handed it to him.

"Here, this came for you..."

They sat on the couch as Warren peeled open the plastic satchel, he pulled out a rectangle object covered in bubble wrap.

"What did you order?"

"I didn't order anything."

He carefully peeled off the stick tape to reveal a photo frame with a note.

"Mr Delaney,

We found this in your room after you left.

Royal Sunset Villas Hawaii."

Lisa took a sharp breath in realising what it was, the photo of her and Dutchy. She took it from Warren before he could see it and walked into the kitchen and placed it in the bin.

"Hey, what did you do that for?"

"It was mine, I put it in the bin in Hawaii, they must have thought it was a mistake..."

Warren joined Lisa in the kitchen, placing a foot on the bin pedal it popped open. He reached down and retrieved the frame and turned it over to see the picture.

"Oh..."

He dropped the frame back into the bin and removed his foot from the pedal.

"You okay?"

Lisa walked back to the couch and avoided his concerned eyes.

"Yeah, fine... umm, what are we doing for dinner?"

"Dunno, what do you feel like?"

"Don't mind, something that doesn't make a lot of mess, I'm back at work tomorrow and don't want to come home to a trashed kitchen."

Warren nudged her and let out a chuckle.

"I've told you a million times before, clean as you go!"

Lisa headed to the bathroom, Warren frowned at her reaction to his comment, he was joking. He lept up from the couch and spun her round giving her a kiss.

"You sure you're okay?"

She rubbed her hands over her face, he approached and held her hands in his.

"Ah, yeah, just nervous about work tomorrow I guess..."

He gave her another kiss on the forehead.

"You'll do great!"

She flashed him a halfhearted smile and closed the bathroom door.

Exhaling loudly she lowered herself onto the edge of the bath, turning on the taps she sat there fixated on the water falling from the tap. Her mind flashed back to the day Dutchy took her to Windin Falls, she felt herself smiled and quickly shook the picture out of her mind. She exhaled sharply and took her phone out of her pocket and unlocked it. She hesitated before opening Facebook, she had lasted this long without checking up on him, did she really want to undo all her progress? She typed in Dylan Mulholland, her finger hovered over search, she closed her eyes and pressed it.

His was the first profile to appear, she tapped on his name, she had come this far, she wanted to prove to herself that she could see his face and be okay. She frowned seeing no recent updates, scrolling further down the page the smile returned to her face seeing a picture of Reason on the first day they had got her.

Placing her phone on the side of the bath she reached for the bubble bath and poured in a cap full. She sunk into the bath closing her eyes, she wished she knew how to meditate, or clear her mind, it never stopped. She glanced over to her phone, she had opened a can of worms, she needed to know more. She snatched it off the edge of the bath and opened Google, she typed in his name again and pressed search.

The first article read: _Hero turned Murderer_. She frowned and scrolled past, it couldn't be the same person. The next few articles had similar headlines, she frowned and added to her search, Dylan Mulholland HMAS Hammersley, but the results were the same.

Propping herself up on the side of the bath she held her breath as she pressed on the article. A picture of Dylan appeared in handcuffs, she let out a loud gasp nearly dropping her phone in the water. She leaned over the side of the bath frantically scrolling through the article.

_Dylan Mulholland was released on bail last Friday and is restricted to his neighbour's home. He has been charged with the murder of his girlfriend, and work colleague Kate McGregor. _

Hear heart raced and her phone fell from her hands, she couldn't believe what she was reading. She stumbled out of the bath and wrapped herself in a towel and sat on the bath mat, re-grasping her phone she continued to read,

_The murder weapon, a 38 calibre gun, was found in Petty Officer Mulholland's house during a police search. His arraignment was held earlier in the week where he plead not guilty, the trial will bring tomorrow, in Cairns._

Warren knocked on the door startling her, she jumped up her feet and opened the door ever so slightly.

"Umm, I'll just be a sec..."

She stared at her phone, suddenly a gut wrenching thought popped into her head, did Warren know? Was he responsible for this? He was in charge of wrapping up the case, how could he not know? She got dressed and made her way downstairs.

They ate dinner in silence, she didn't have the guts to ask him, she was afraid of the answer. What if he admitted it? She didn't know what she would do or how she would react. She finished her food and put her plate in the sink, she just wanted to switch her mind off.

Shuffling around in the kitchen drawers she looked for any type of sleeping pills. A letter caught her eye, it was on NAVCOM stationary, addressed to The Delaney family.

She stared at if for a moment and quickly shoved it into her pocket as Warren approached.

"What you looking for?"

She ran her hands over her face trying to steady her mind and act normal.

"Oh, umm I'm not sleeping too well, thought I saw some tablets..."

"Nope, why don't we have an early night?"

She nodded and followed him up the stairs.

She lay there wrapped in his embrace staring into space, she waited for him to fall asleep and gently peeled his arm off of her. Creeping into the bathroom she grabbed the letter from her dressing gown pocket and unfolded it.

She flipped it over to read the sender's name, she took a sharp breath in as she read it, Dylan Mulholland, sliding her back down the wall she dropped on to the floor and pried the letter out of the envelope and began to read.

_"My name is Petty Officer Dylan Mulholland, I was an officer on Will's boarding the day he died. I would like to express my deepest condolences, Will was a great leader and an amazing friend. I know there is nothing I can say that will ease the pain of your loss. I live with the regret every day that I left his side, I could have done more, I should have stayed with him."_

Tears streamed down her face as she continued to read, she flipped over the envelope, it was posted marked a week after they had started something. Taking a deep breath in she picked herself up off then floor and tiptoed back downstairs and replaced the letter in the drawer.

The next morning she paced up and down in front of the airport doors.

"What are you doing? You can't go back…"

She took a few steps towards the taxi rank and stopped.

"He's going to jail, for your murder, you can't let that happen…"

She clenched her fists and grabbed the handle of her suitcase and walked through the doors. She was deep in thought when she heard a commotion, voices calling out, flashes of light. Looking around for the source she knocked into someone, her handbag went flying, scrambling to pick up her belongings she looked up at the person she had run into.

"I'm so sorry, I wasn't concentrating…"

The woman lifted her sunglasses as she handed Lisa back her wallet, Lisa's eyes widened recognising the woman.

"Oh, my, god,, you're Ellen Pompeo…"

She pressed her index finger to her lips.

"Please, I'm trying to lose the reporters!"

Lisa fumbled her things back into her bag trying to process the person standing in front of her.

"I, umm, I'm Lisa…"

They shook hands.

"I'm Ellen…"

"Yeah, I know… look, I'm sure you get this every second of every day but, I love Grey's…"

A smile appeared on Ellen's face.

"I do but, I appreciate people taking the time to tell me…"

"Ah, can I ask you one thing?"

"Sure…"

"Do you really believe in all those monologues you do in the show, I mean, sometimes my life feels like a drama and…"

Ellen let out a chuckle and placed her hand on Lisa's arm.

"You know, Meredith, no matter how dark and twisty she is, is very wise. Give me an example of a drama that is currently bothering you?"

Lisa hesitated, her story was crazy, it belonged in a TV show, she didn't know if Ellen would believe it.

"Umm, it's a long story, a long, complicated, unbelievable, story."

"Hmm, okay, well how do you feel about the situation?"

Lisa thought about it for a second.

"Ah, scared…"

"Okay, this isn't a Meredith piece of advice, but from someone much wiser, the chief… Sometimes it's good to be scared, it's means you still have something to lose. If we had nothing to lose then what's the point? Does that help?"

Lisa nodded, she stared blankly in Ellen's direction for a moment.

"Oh, sorry, I kinda can't believe I'm talking to you about my crazy life, and you're being so polite trying to give me advice…"

"Hey, it's the doctor in me! Anyway, I gotta run, it was lovely to meet you!"

"You too! And thanks!"

Lisa walked to her gate in a daze, not believing she had just met Meredith Grey. She sat at her gate as Ellen's words repeated in her head. She pulled out her phone and sent Shaun a message.

"I'm sorry, I need more time, I have to tie up some loose ends."

He immediately rang her, she answered, her hand shook as she lifted the phone to her ear.

"McDonald? Are you there? What's happening?"

She took a deep breath in before answering.

"Did you know?"

"Know what?"

"That Warren knew Dylan."

"What?"

"Dylan served with Warren's brother."

"McDonald what are you talking about?"

An announcement came over the PA.

"This is the final boarding call for Virgin Australia flight 374 to Cairns."

"I want to be scared, I want to have something to lose…"

Lisa hung up the phone and boarded the plane and found her seat, plugging in her head phones she opened Netflix.

_Meredith voiceover: Sometimes the past is something you just can't let go of. And sometimes the past is something we'll do anything to forget. And sometimes we learn something new about the past that changes everything we know about the present._

End Chapter 24.


	25. Chapter 25

Hey everyone!

You still with me? Good! LOL

Now, I have to apologise in advance for my court room writing, had to channel some of my Blue Heelers days, but I would have been researching for days on end if i wanted to get it perfect, and I figured you guys would forgive me if it wasn't text book!

Well this is probs my last update till after Christmas, so I better make it a good one yeah? Super long chapter! Hope you all enjoy and have a wonderful Christmas and a fab New Year, I will be working all the way through :( So as a reward please send me some reviews! haha

Totally jealous of all of you who get snow right now, we're melting through the week, been above 40 degrees all week!

Anyway, on with the show...

Promise To Love Me, Even When You Hate Me.

Chapter 25

Driving into town, her heart raced, she didn't have a plan, and she always had a plan. Her body took over, and she found herself at the entrance of Dutchy's street, she knew it was risky, but she couldn't help herself. She exhaled sharply as she gently pressed her foot to the accelerator and approached his house. Her stomached flipped seeing the swarm of reporters that had taken up residence on Frankie's front lawn. A car pulled into the driveway, she ducked her head as she drove past the house making sure she was out of sight.

She knew she couldn't hang around, so she made her way to the beach. Pulling up to the reserve where Dutchy had found her, tears welled in her eyes, bunches of flowers had been placed on the spot where she had died.

Pulling her phone out of her pocket she turned it on, it beeped continuously, multiple messages from Shaun and Warren appeared in the notifications, she shook her head as she dismissed them all.

She opened her photos and flicked through the gallery, she wrinkled her face as she came across photos of her and Dutchy, she had no idea who the woman was staring back at her, she looked happy, she wondered if she'd ever feel that way again.

2Dads knocked on Frankie's door, Dutchy dragged himself to the door and opened it ever so slightly. 2Dads put on his best friendly smile.

"Dutchy, mate, it's me."

2Dads tried to widen the gap, but Dutchy held his ground.

"It's not a good time."

2Dads leaned his body against the door stopping him from closing it on him.

"Please, there's gotta be something I can do?"

Dutchy hesitated for a moment then tossed 2Dads Reason's lead.

"Can you take her for a walk or something, it's not fair her being cooped up, she likes exploring…"

2Dads nodded, it was something at least, he knelt down and attached the lead to Reason's collar.

"C'mon cutie…."

Lisa sat at the bottom of Windin falls, she watched the water rush over the edge and plummet into the pool below.

She raked her fingers through her hair, what was she doing? How was she supposed to stop this without revealing herself?

She sobbed into her hands, the sound of twigs snapping made her sit upright and scan the bush.

"Hello?"

Reason appeared from behind a boulder and ran up to her, Lisa's eyes widened realising it was Reason, she pulled her close and hugged her.

"Reason! I've missed you girl."

Reason licked her face, her ears pricked up hearing a voice call her name. Lisa picked herself up off the ground worried about who was about to appear.

"Who is that?"

She listened for the voice again, 2Dads called out.

"It's 2Dads, where's daddy?"

The voice became louder, Lisa ran behind one of the large boulders.

"Go back to 2Dads, go on…"

Reason sat at her feet wagging her tail, she tried to move away but she followed.

"Go back! Please girl, he can't see me!"

Lisa ran off down the opposite hiking trail, Reason ran after her. She made it back to the car and swung open the driver's door, Reason jumped in before she could stop her.

"Reason, no, go back!"

She sat on the passengers chair panting and tilting her head from side to side, Lisa rolled her eyes.

"You're gonna upset 2Dads, I'll have to drop you home…"

2Dads spent hours looking for Reason, he couldn't bear the thought of having to tell Dutchy he lost her. It was his last connection to Kate, and he wasn't sure if he'd forgive him.

Driving home he tried to think of an explanation but there wasn't one good enough. He pulled into his driveway, his eyes widened seeing Reason tied to the letterbox, he looked around for any signs of someone, a note, but there was nothing.

Lisa sat in her car a few houses down and smiled as she watched a relieved 2Dads take her inside.

Warren paced around the living room with the phone to his ear.

"Good job, what did you do with it?"

"I buried it, it won't be found."

"Right..."

"But, Warren, the trial is still going ahead..."

"Well, I can't come clean, I've done what I can."

"Why the change of heart?"

"I just did, okay?"

"So umm, rumours are you and Lisa and back together?"

Warren walked up the stairs and into the bathroom, he had assumed Lisa had gone for an early morning run, but as he reached for his toothbrush, he noticed hers missing.

"Warren?"

"Ah, I don't wanna jinx it..."

He walked out into the bedroom and opened the wardrobe, he nearly dropped the phone seeing her clothes and suitcase gone.

"I gotta go mate..."

Before her could react there was a pounding on his front door, Warren walked down the stairs and hesitated, he heard Shaun yell out.

"Delaney, open up, we need to talk..."

Warren took a deep breath in and opened the door.

"Shaun, what's up?"

He barged his way into the house scouring the room for Lisa.

"I got a strange message from Lisa, I called her, and she wasn't really making sense, she said that you knew Dutchy?"

Warren turned away hoping his face wasn't going to give away his guilt, he made his way into the kitchen.

"Ah, I, umm, I didn't know him personally, he served with my brother."

Shaun followed closely sensing there was more to the story.

"Why was she so upset? Where is she?"

"Ah, she's umm, she's taken a couple of days to just unwind, I think everything has hit her at once."

"She said something about loose ends."

Warren handed him a cup of coffee and leaned on the bench.

"Yeah, I think she needs to decompress and just, well it's like she's starting her life again, it's gotta be a bit overwhelming."

Shaun shook his head declining the coffee.

"She's not answering her phone."

"Yeah, umm, she said she was going to switch off for a few days..."

Shaun wrinkled his face, it was so unlike her.

"It's just, she was supposed to start her new job today..."

"Boss, cut her some slack, she's the best you've got, and, I guess, at some point she's gotta crack. You know she'll come back refreshed and back to her normal over achieving self."

"Yeah, I'm a bit worried about her, let me know if you hear from her, okay?"

"Yeah, sure. Don't worry I'm sure she'll be back in a week as good as new."

Shaun gave him a nod and left, Warren immediately took out his phone and dialled a number.

"Sam, I need you to do a check on Lisa's credit card, we think it's been stolen. Can you check any recent purchases... yeah, sure, gimme a call back."

Tears rolled down Lisa's cheeks as she sat on the bed in her hotel room scrolling through the news reports about Dutchy's trial. Wincing, she hovered her finger over the play button, she quickly tapped on it.

"The trial for the murder of Kate McGregor starts today, the accused is Ms McGregor's former boyfriend and colleague, Petty Officer Dylan Mulholland. Petty Officer Mulholland, once hailed a hero for saving six of his crew members, has pleaded not guilty. In unusual circumstances this trial is proceeding without physical evidence, the alleged gun that was found at his house had mysteriously disappeared. Some are calling it a inside job, claiming that the Navy don't want their hero tarnished, but others a more sympathetic. Either way, Petty Officer Mulholland's fate will be determined by 12 jurors over the coming days."

Lisa knew she needed to do something, but it wasn't that easy. If she were to reveal herself, then she would be opening everyone up to chaos, she needed to think of a way to get the case thrown out.

The next morning Dutchy sat with Jack one side of the courtroom and on the other, John Bower from the DPP. The judge entered the courtroom, the bailiff cleared his throat.

"All rise for the honourable Judge Faulkner."

They all rose from their chairs, Jack looked down at Dutchy's hand that was shaking.

"It's okay, you'll get through this."

Dutchy clenched his fist trying to get it to stop, his eyes focused back on the judge.

"Right, Petty Officer Mulholland, you have been charged with the murder of Kate McGregor, and have entered a plea of not guilty, do you stand by this plea?"

Dutchy stood and nodded.

"Yes, Your Honour…"

"Right, well, let's get to opening statements."

John Bower, the lawyer for the DPP, stood from his chair and approached the jury.

"Ladies and Gentleman, I am John Bower of the DPP, I am here to prove that Dylan Mulholland murdered his girlfriend and colleague, Kate McGregor. We have eyewitnesses that place Mr Mulholland at the scene of the crime, and irrefutable physical evidence that proves his guilt, by then end of this trial you will know that he is committed this murder."

John shot Dylan a satisfied look as he took his place back at his desk, Jack gave Dutchy's shoulder a squeeze as he rose from his chair.

"Ladies and gentleman of the jury, I urge you not to be swayed by the smooth words of the DPP, Dylan Mulholland is an innocent man. I will disprove any motive that the DPP have, I will show you the type of man he was with character witnesses, and that he truly loved his girlfriend, and that he was just in the wrong places at the wrong time and is no way responsible for her tragic death."

John opened his folder and scanned the list of names.

"I would like to call Doctor Liam Godfrey to the stand, he conducted the tests on the alleged murder weapon."

Jack raised his hand and stood from his desk.

"Objection, Your Honour, I would like to point out that this evidence should not be acknowledged due to the fact it cannot be produced."

"I would normally agree with you, Mr Stringer, however due to the serious nature of this charge I am willing to enter in the photographs and witness testimony of the evidence. There are clear pictures of the prints on the weapon and they can be compared and verified with ease. There are also multiple witnesses to the weapon, and I'm inclined to believe their accounts due to their long-standing cooperation and relationship with the courts."

Jack nodded and sat back down and leaned in to Dylan.

"It was worth a shot…"

The doctor took his place on the stand.

"Doctor, can you please state your name and occupation?"

"Doctor Liam Godfrey, I am a Forensic Scientist and the head of the Forensic Ballistics Department hired by the Queensland Police."

"Excellent, and how many years have you been in this occupation?"

"I have been in the Forensic field for 20 years, specialising in fingerprints for 10 and ballistics for 15 years."

"Good, so I would say you're an expert then?"

"Ah, there are people that have been in the field for longer, but I am confident in my abilities. I wouldn't be volunteering to be a witness in a murder investigation if I wasn't sure of my conclusion."

"Good, that's what we like to hear. So, what conclusions did you come to?"

"I inspected a gun that was presented to me by Detective Summerside, this had been found in Petty Officer Mulholland's place of residence."

"Okay, so, Dr Godfrey, what did you find out about this gun?"

"So, we discovered that the gun matched the bullet that killed Ms McGregor."

"And can you explain to the jury how you can be certain about this?"

"Sure, every gun barrel is 'rifled' during the manufacturing process, this creates grooves on the barrel which are mirrored on the bullet when fired. So, we simply fire another bullet and compare the markings. There are several rifling processes that the barrel of a gun goes through so they all create a unique pattern."

"Very interesting, and you found that the gun matched the bullet that was extracted from Ms McGregor's body."

"Yes, without a doubt."

John turned to face the jury and nodded.

"Without a doubt?"

"Yes, as I said, each pattern is unique, like fingerprints."

John spun back round to face him with a satisfied smile on his face.

"Ah, I'm glad that you brought up my next point, you are also a fingerprints expert?"

"Ah, yes, I guess that's why Queensland Police keep me around."

John let out a chuckle and glanced back to the worried looking Dutchy.

"Great! So, did you find any fingerprints on this gun?"

"Yes."

"And did you mange to match them to anyone?"

"Yes, I matched them to someone in the Naval data base, Petty Officer Dylan Mulholland."

Dylan couldn't hold his tongue any longer, he stood and yelled out.

"I never touched the gun, I have no idea how it got in my house."

The Judge hammered his gavel, Jack pulled on Dutchy's arm making him sit down.

"Petty Officer, you will wait your turn, another outburst like that and I will hold you in contempt."

Jack grasped Dutchy's arm and pulled him close.

"Dutchy, you can't do that!"

The Judge cleared his throat and focused on the jury.

"The jury will ignore the defendant's outburst. Mr Bower, you may continue."

"Ah, no more questions, Your Honour."

The Judge scribbled on the paper in front of him and nodded towards Jack.

"Mr Stringer, your witness…"

Jack unbuttoned his jacket and approached Liam.

"Mr Godfrey, you say you're certain, without a doubt, that you can identify the bullet was fired from the gun, and the fingerprints are my clients."

"Yes…"

"Okay, but how certain are you that the gun in question was the one that was found in the Petty Officer's house?"

John let out a groan and rolled his eyes as he rose from his chair.

"Objection, c'mon, Your Honour, the chain of custody is not in question here. If Mr Stringer has an issue with this he should have raised it earlier. There is no reason for him to question it, no one but Mr Mulholland's integrity is being questioned here."

The Judge nodded with agreement.

"I'm sorry Mr Stringer, Mr Bower is right, if you haven't any questions relating to the forensics then we should move on."

Jack exhaled sharply and bowed his head as he returned to his side of the courtroom.

"No, Your Honour."

Jack sat back down next to Dutchy, he pulled on Jack's arm.

"What are you doing? Can't you question him further?"

"Dutchy, there's no point, it's pretty black and white."

"What are you saying? That I'm screwed?"

"No, I'm hoping that we can sway the jury with your character witnesses, but also they don't have proof that you were there, no one can place you at the scene at the exact time."

"But, they have my prints and the gun and the bullet."

"Dutchy, the jury have to be unanimous and if they can't place you at the scene, then they can't been 100% sure."

"Great, so that's my defense? Doubt?"

"Yes…"

John wandered over to Jack and Dutchy's table and leaned in.

"If you two are finished?"

Jack flashed him a fake smile.

"I would now like to call Detective Summerside to the stand."

The Detective rose from the outer area and proceeded to the stand.

"Detective, you were the lead Detective on this case yes?"

"That's correct."

"And you have interviewed Petty Officer Mulholland on several occasions?"

"Yes, and each time he was agitated and dismissive. He was instantly a suspect in my books. Even when we met him at the docks, before I had advised him off the warrant to search his home, he was aggressive."

"Well, for an innocent man that doesn't seem like normal behaviour."

"No."

"So, could Petty Officer Mulholland give you an explanation on why the gun was in his possession, or where he was on the night in question?"

"No, he couldn't."

"And when you arrived Ms McGregor's house what did you find?"

"The place was a mess, at first we thought it may have been a robbery gone wrong. But, when we started our investigation we couldn't find anything missing, what kind of robber leaves empty-handed?"

"So, what lead you to suspect Petty Officer Mulholland?"

"Well, like I said, his strange behaviour, he could be placed at her house on the day, there was also an argument reported, and well, the gun was just icing on the cake, I guess."

"No more questions, Your Honour…"

The Judge scribbled on the page in front of him, he looked up towards Jack.

"Your witness, Mr Stringer?"

"I'd like to call upon Dylan's neighbour, Francis Schneider."

Frankie smiled in Dylan's direction as she sat in the witness box.

"Now, Francis…"

"Oh, call me Frankie, Dear, everyone else does…"

He gave her a nod of acknowledgement.

"Frankie, you have been Dylan's neighbour for how long?"

"Oh, going on 6 years now."

"And you two have formed a relationship."

Frankie let out a cheeky giggle.

"Relationship? Maybe if I were 20 years younger…"

The crowd and jury let out a chuckle, Jack smiled feeling confident that they liked her.

"I mean, yes, we are friends."

"Okay, and how would you describe Dylan as a person?"

Frankie looked in Dutchy's direction and gave him a wink.

"Oh, he's a lovely boy, he's kind, and he looks out for me, he's like one of my children."

"That's lovely, and how does he look out for you?"

"Well, just by being there for me, he checks on me all the time, makes me feel safe, he just cares."

"Okay, so you've known Dylan for a few years, have you every known him to be violent? Abusive in a relationship?"

Frankie shook her head insistently.

"Dylan, no, never! He wouldn't hurt a, well, he kills spiders for me, but otherwise he wouldn't hurt a living thing."

"Thank you, Ms Schneider."

The Judge looked in John's direction, John shook his head towards the judge.

"No questions, Your Honour."

"Next witness, Mr Stringer?"

"I'd like to call Leading Seaman Kosov-Meyer."

2Dads took his place on the stand, he was obviously nervous, his right leg jigged persistently.

"Now, 2Dads, you've worked with Dutchy most of your naval career, yes?"

"That's right."

His voice stuttered, he didn't want to say anything stupid.

"And how would you describe him as a colleague?"

"Ah, he's like my big brother, he straightened me out, I mean, he taught me to be the person I am today."

"That's a nice thing to say, so he was a role model, a mentor?"

"Exactly."

"And his leadership and morals rubbed off on you? I believe you had some troubles when you first joined?"

"Ah, yes, I was a stupid kid, and this was one of the options presented to me, and I am thankful I chose this path, I'm thankful I met him."

2Dads smiled in Dutchy's direction, it was all true but he hoped he believed it.

"Great, so you would trust him with your life?"

"Yes, I do every day."

"Thank you, Leading Seaman."

Jack exhaled as he returned to his seat, John rose from his chair and stood in front of 2Dads.

"So, if you were a bit of trouble in the beginning, he wouldn't have always been nice to you then?"

2Dads was thrown by the question, he hesitated for a moment thinking about his answer, he didn't want to cause trouble.

"Well, I wouldn't put it that way."

"In fact, I believe he had some real run-ins with officers, particularly your XO, Kate McGregor."

"Yeah, but that was different."

"How was that different?"

"Well, he was dealing with his emotions from the gulf."

"Like what?"

2Dad's eyes darted back and forth from Dutchy to John.

"Ah, I can't say for sure."

John wandered back to his desk and grabbed a piece of paper.

"But this psychologist report can..."

He held up a piece of paper and placed it on the judge's bench.

"I'd like to submit this into evidence, an original detailed report from Dr Howard. Petty Officer Mulholland saw him for a period of months after he returned from the gulf. I will summarise, Dylan Mulholland suffered from PTSD, yet refuses to acknowledge his diagnosis. He was actually cleared when he shouldn't have been. In fact, there is a recorded incident between the pair where Kate had even felt threatened by him, that she doubted his ability and trust in him. Your honour, I submit a diary page from Ms McGregor's on board log."

2Dads knew that he was trying to use him against Dutchy.

"That was the old him, Kate helped him, they were dating by the end for god's sake!"

John interrupted and leaned in close.

"Yes, but couldn't his trauma return?"

2Dads pursed his lips together trying to compose the thoughts in his mind.

"I, umm, I'm not a doctor..."

John smiled satisfied and sat back down at his desk.

"No more questions."

"But."

The Judge leaned over towards 2Dads.

"You may be excused, Leading Seaman."

2Dads looked over to Dutchy who's head was buried in his hands, Jack stood from his chair.

"I'd like to call Dylan Mulholland to the stand."

Dutchy took a deep breath in as he sat in the witness box.

"Dylan, in your own words can you tell me what happened the night Kate was killed."

"Yeah, look I'm not gonna deny we had a fight, that would be stupid."

"What did you fight about?"

"Well, in the navy, there's a rule called the non-fraternisation rule, it means we can't have a relationship with someone on the same ship."

"Right, so you guys felt so strongly with each other that you were willing to break the rules."

"Well, yes... I loved her..."

Tears formed in his eyes thinking of her, the judge handed him a box of tissues.

"I was going to leave the navy for her, she loved her job and I didn't want her to give that up."

"Right, so you were willing to give up your career for this woman?"

"Yeah, she was the most amazing person I'd ever met. Look even the best couples fight, she didn't want me to give it up for her, but I knew she was just looking out for me."

He wiped the tears from his eyes, Jack glanced over to the jury hoping they could see his pain.

"I can see that, it only meant she cared."

"Yeah, I mean she sent me a message asking for help!"

John raised his hand and stood from his desk.

"Objection, this message can not be produced."

Jack let out a scoff and rolled his eyes.

"Well, neither can the gun..."

The Judge hammered his gavel to interrupt them.

"Okay you two, calm down. Sorry, Mr Stringer, the message is not relevant."

"Okay, so you had a fight, then what?"

"I left, I knew arguing with her constantly wasn't going to help."

"Okay, and where did you go?"

"I just went home."

"Can anyone verify that?"

"I don't think so, Frankie was away so probably not."

"Right, okay, no further questions."

John walked over to the stand and leaned in close, Dutchy shifted backwards on his chair.

"So, Kate was in the Navy with you?"

"Yes."

"And she was the most recent member to join the crew."

"Yes."

"But she wasn't really an active officer was she?"

Dutchy knew where he was going and he didn't want to play his game.

"Ah..."

John wandered around in front of the jury knowing that he was going to create drama.

"Let me refresh your memory, Kate McGregor was actually working for the N.I.I.D, the Naval Internal Investigation Department."

Dutchy reluctantly nodded, John walked back over and stood in front of him.

"Sorry, I need a verbal answer."

Dutchy looked up at him with disdain in his eyes.

"Yes."

There was a murmur among the jury.

"And why was she assigned to your ship?"

"Umm, I was told she was investigating."

"Investigating what?"

"I'm not sure."

"Petty Officer Mulholland, may I remind you that you're under oath…"

Dutchy closed his eyes for a moment, reopening them he glanced over to the jury then to the floor.

"She was investigating dodgy sailors."

"Hmm, anyone in particular?"

Dutchy refused to answer, he continued to look at the floor.

"Okay, you don't wanna say it… you, Petty Officer… That's right, Ladies and gentlemen, Ms McGregor was actually investigating Petty Officer Mulholland for illegal dealings ."

The jury whispered amongst themselves, Dutchy looked over to Jack for help, he winced, there was nothing he could do. John stepped in Dutchy's line of sight and eyeballed him.

"So, how did you feel when you found this out?"

"Well, obviously I was upset."

"Upset? Your girlfriend, whom you claimed to love, had lied to you about her job. And to top it off she was investigating you! I would be more than upset, this woman played you!"

Dylan closed his eyes, he couldn't let himself be mad, he counted to three in his mind and re opened his eyed, John was glaring back at her.

"Well?"

"I was mad and upset."

Lisa's ear pressed against the gap in the slightly a jar door, none of this was fair. She had to act now, she was about the enter when an arm pulled her back. She spun round ready to give them a serve.

"Warren!"

"Lis, I'm sorry."

She snatched her arm back and shoved him.

"What the hell did you do?"

Warren glanced around, her voice was loud, people were beginning to stare."

"Can we go somewhere and talk?"

"No! Do you actually realise what's going on here? He could go to jail?!"

"Lis, I wouldn't let that happen..."

"Ah..."

She frowned and opened the door ever so slightly and peered in.

"It's happening right now! I can't believe that you would be this crazy!"

"I'm sorry, it was a mistake!"

"Did you do this to get back at me? To get back at him?"

Inside the courtroom you could hear raised voices coming from the corridor. They tried to ignore it however the voices became louder, the judge hammered his gavel.

"Sorry, just one moment folks."

He rose from his chair and walked down the centre of the courtroom followed by the bailiff, he flung open the door, Lisa and Warren froze.

"Excuse me, we're running a trial here!"

They froze, Lisa couldn't help but eyeball the room, her eyes met Dutchy's for a split second. He stood up and squinted not believing what he was seeing.

"Kate?"

He lept over the railing and ran to the door, the bailiff grabbed him and restrained him.

"Mr Mulholland, what an earth do you think you are doing?"

He struggled against the bailiff as Lisa tried to make a quick exit, he called out for her as her steps quickened.

"Kate!"

The judge looked at Dutchy like he was a crazy person, Dutchy continued to struggle.

"Your honour, I swear that was Kate McGregor! Please, just get someone to stop her."

The Judge nodded towards a security guard, he ran after her. She felt a hand on her shoulder and stopped, she exhaled before turning around.

"Ma'am, can you please come with me for a minute?"

She pretended to be none the wiser.

"Ah, what for?"

"The judge has requested to see you..."

For a split second she thought about running, it was all about to come out and she didn't know how to act. She took a deep breath in a nodded, she followed the security guard back in to the courtroom. She slowly walked up the aisle, she could feel every set of eyes in the room on her, but hers were firmly focused on the floor.

The crew gasped as she walked past them, but she refused to look up. Stopping in front of the Judge she could feel Dutchy's eyes burn into her as her eyes rose to meet the Judge.

"Ma'am, could you please identify yourself?"

She exhaled sharply as her eyes darted over to Dutchy then back to the Judge.

"My name is Lisa McDonald."

The Judge let out a grunt and shot an annoyed look over to Dutchy.

"Petty Officer, I believe you were mistaken?"

Dutchy's gaze was firmly fixed on Lisa, the Judge turned back to Lisa as she cleared her throat and took a step closer.

"But, in another life, I was Kate McGregor."

_Meredith Voiceover: Just when we think we've figured things out, the universe throws us a curve ball. So we have to improvise, we find happiness in unexpected places, we find our way back to the things that matter the most. The universe is funny that way, sometimes it just has a way of making sure we wind up exactly where we belong. _

End Chapter 25.

xx


	26. Chapter 26

Promise To Love Me, Even When You Hate Me.

Chapter 26.

The whole courtroom gasped and whispered amongst themselves, the judge hammered his gavel trying to get everyone to settle down.

"Excuse me?"

John rose from his desk and approached them both.

"Your Honour, this has to be some kind of stunt? This woman could be anyone?"

Warren walked up the aisle and waved his hand in the air trying to attract their attention.

"Your Honour, I'm Warren Delaney, I'm employed by the N.I.I.D, and I can confirm that this is Kate McGregor, I have her IDs with me."

Warren placed a passport and a driver's licence on the judges' desk, he picked them up and examined them and looked back to Lisa.

"Okay, everyone, my chambers, now…"

The judge stood behind his desk while, Jack, John, Warren and Kate stood on the other side looking like they were facing the firing squad.

"Does someone want to explain what the hell is going on?"

There was a knock on the door, he let out a grunt and walked over to the door and opened it.

"We're kind of busy in here."

"I'm sorry, Your Honour, my name is Shaun, I am Warren and Kate's boss, and I think you want me in there."

He opened the door, Warren and Lisa's eyes widened as they saw Shaun, he eyeballed Warren who looked away.

"Delaney, I think you know why I'm here?"

He nodded and walked up to Shaun and handed him a package.

"Give this to her when she's ready..."

Shaun nodded as Warren was escorted out of the room by two officers. Shaun cleared his throat and approached the judge.

"Your Honour, I just need to know there was no crime committed here, well not by Dylan Mulholland. I'm sorry for wasting your time."

The judge wrinkled his face and rubbed his hand over his forehead.

"So, you're in charge of this operation?"

"I'm Head of the Undercover Department of the N.I.I.D. Long story short, Lisa was undercover, we 'killed' her to get her out, and it was supposed to be put down as a robbery gone wrong, however, Warren hatched a plan, a stupid, selfish, illegal, plan, and he will be dealt with."

"Right, well, I'll need to gather more information, but I will dismiss the case for now."

"Thank you, Your Honour, and once again, I apologise."

The judge returned to the courtroom and cleared his throat.

"Ah, sorry for the delay, there have been some developments, and this case has been dismissed."

Jack shook Dutchy's hand and smiled, Frankie wrapped her arms around him and gave him a squeeze.

"See, the truth always comes out."

Lisa sheepishly exited the judge's chambers and slowly approached Dutchy, he stopped and looked at her for a minute. She was about to speak but he turned his back and walked off. She watched as the crew left with him, no one acknowledging her presence. She flinched as Frankie stopped in front of her and shook her head.

"Do you know what you put him through?"

"Frankie, I…"

She walked off shaking her head not wanting to hear her excuses.

Lisa stood in the empty courtroom, she jumped as Shaun placed a hand on her shoulder.

"C'mon, I think we need a drink."

They pulled up at the local, Lisa shook her head insistently.

"Not here, this is their place..."

"Oh, c'mon..."

She grabbed his hand stopping him from removing the keys from the ignition.

"Shaun, I can't..."

He sighed and restarted the car and drove to the next pub.

Lisa sat out on the deck looking out over the water, Shaun placed a double vodka on the rocks in front of her.

"Vodka for your thoughts?"

She picked up the glass and took a sip.

"You aren't mad?"

Shaun slid into his seat and sighed.

"As your boss, maybe, but as your friend, not so much..."

She turned back to face the water and rubbed her hands over her face, Shaun swirled his drink around in his glass and let out a chuckle.

"So, I was right..."

She frowned and turned her body round to face him.

"Huh?"

"You loved him..."

She let out a hiss and took a large gulp of her drink, he raised an eyebrow at her silence.

"I'm not hearing denial..."

She still didn't respond, he nudged her in an attempt to get a response.

"You love him, love him in a really, really, big, pretend to like his taste in music, let him eat the last piece of chocolate, hold a radio over your head outside his window, unfortunate way that makes you hate him, love him."

Lisa let out a groan and sculled the rest of her glass.

"Ugh, why do you use my favourite show against me?!"

"Because, I'm right."

He slid the package Warren gave him over the table as Lisa signalled to the waiter to get them another drink.

"Warren gave this to me to give to you."

She shook her head and pushed it back towards him.

"If it's from him, I don't want it..."

He shrugged and pushed his drink aside and ripped open the package, she snatched it out of his hands, she didn't know what was in it, but was afraid it was something personal.

"Hey!"

She flipped it over and sighed seeing the photo of her and Dutchy, it was the one she had disposed of in Hawaii. Shaun peered over her shoulder trying to take a peek of what it was.

"You look pretty happy..."

She immediately put it face down on the table hiding the photo.

"Yeah, look where it got me?"

The waiter placed two more glasses in front of them, Lisa immediately took a large gulp. Shaun knew she already had a rough day, but he needed to prepare her for reality of the situation.

"So, umm, you know there will be some backlash?"

She slammed her glass on the table causing him to jump.

"Shaun, he was going to jail for murder, what was I supposed to do?"

He put his hands up in front of him as a defense.

"Hey, I'm not saying it was the wrong thing, it's, well it's the way you did it so publicly."

She exhaled sharply, she didn't want to take her anger out on Shaun, he didn't deserve it.

"I didn't know who to trust..."

"Yeah, look, I get it, it's fair enough after what Warren did... I mean, I'll try to..."

"It's okay boss, I'll face the consequences…"

"I'll do what I can while you try to sort things out here, I may need you back in Melbourne though..."

"What do you mean? I'm coming home anyway."

Shaun shook his head at her stubbornness.

"Ah, you took off and ditched your first day of your new job, you broke protocol and risked your job to set him free, you're telling me you did this because, what, you felt like it?"

"I did it cos he didn't deserve to go to jail..."

Shaun pursed his lips together and stared her down.

"And..."

Lisa rested her head in her hands and mumbled into them.

"And, because I love him..."

Shaun clapped his hands together and clinked his glass with hers.

"Oh, there it is!"

Lisa lifted her head enough for Shaun to see she was truly distressed, he couldn't help but feel a little responsible.

"I'm sorry..."

Lisa lifted her head and tilted it to the side.

"What are you sorry for?"

"Do I push you too much?"

She let out a scoff and swallowed the rest of her glass.

"I push myself, to be right, to be the best, I push people away because I'm scared of getting hurt."

Shaun placed a hand on hers and gave it a squeeze.

"For what it's worth, I'm proud of you!"

"Thanks..."

"So, what now?"

"I beg for his forgiveness, that I don't deserve."

"Lis, you deserve to be happy... you are a good person."

She swallowed the rest of her glass as tears welled in her eyes, Shaun didn't want to push further, she was going to have enough to deal with in the coming weeks.

"You want a lift back your hotel?"

She nodded and rose from her chair.

"Where are you staying?"

"Ah, a bit out of town, but umm, can you drop me back to the local?"

"That a girl, go get your man!"

Lisa rolled her eyes and grabbed her bag.

She stood in front of the entry doors, she didn't know if they were in there but she felt like she needed to start somewhere.

Walking in she immediately felt eyes on her, she could hear the whispers as she placed herself at the bar.

The bar tender gave her a nod and continued to dry the glass in his hand, he did a double take fumbling the glass.

"Kate?"

She smiled sheepishly and took out her wallet.

"Hey Dan... how are you?"

He leaned over the bar checking out her new look.

"Ah, I heard a rumour about the court case, that something weird happened, but I didn't really hear the details."

"Yep, well, I'm alive, now you're all caught up."

He poured her a vodka and placed it on the bar.

"Well, welcome back..."

She picked it up and downed the lot.

"Thanks, I'm not sure everyone will be as kind as you."

At that moment 2Dads and Dutchy walked into the pub, Lisa instantly recognised the voices and spun round. They stopped dead in their tracks seeing her, Dutchy immediately turned and headed for the door. Lisa lept off her seat and went to follow him but 2Dads grabbed her arm stopping her.

"He's not ready."

She dropped her head, the tiniest part of her hoped he'd be glad to see her, but she knew she was kidding herself. She turned to face him, she wasn't sure what his reaction would be.

"2Dads, I, I…"

He broke eye contact not wanting to betray his friend.

"I'm glad you're alive, but, I can't do this…"

She nodded and stepped away.

"I understand, but can you just, tell him I'm sorry."

He gave her a half-hearted smile before walking away. She sat back at her stool and ordered another drink, leaning her head on her arms on the bar, she closed her eyes trying to decide what to do. She sat up straight hearing a familiar voice order a drink beside her, she looked over her shoulder and smiled seeing Frankie. Frankie picked up the scotch in front of her and swallowed the whole glass and turn to face her.

"Don't smile at me, I'm here because I need to know how, how and why you could do what you did to someone you love."

Lisa broke eye contact, she couldn't look Frankie in the eyes because she didn't want to tell her her reason, it felt pathetic and unworthy. Frankie cleared her throat waiting for an answer, Lisa went to speak but she was interrupted.

"And don't you dare lie…"

Lisa swallowed the rest of her glass and took a deep breath in.

"I did it because I love him…"

Frankie let out a hiss and went to walk away, Lisa grabbed her arm.

"Please, I, I don't know what to do."

"I'm not going to help you weasel your way back in."

Lisa was a little taken aback by her words, she knew it wasn't going to be easy, but she hadn't stopped to consider how it was making everyone else feel.

"Frankie, please just know that it wasn't supposed to go down like this. I mean, I panicked, I never felt the way I felt when I was with him."

"So you were scared? And that gave you the right to, to destroy him?"

"No! I, I didn't know what was happening, I didn't know he was arrested."

"Seriously? It was all over the news for weeks? How could you not see?"

Kate focused back on her glass knowing her answer would sound heartless.

"Ah, I, I was umm, in Hawaii…"

Frankie scoffed and shook her head.

"Of course you were…"

"Frankie, please, I was told that it was a robbery gone wrong and, Frankie, you have to believe that I had no idea about this, I wouldn't do that to him…"

Frankie took a moment, she knew that deep down she wouldn't purposely hurt him, but she couldn't get over the fact that she continued to lie.

"But you still planned to leave like this?"

"I didn't know what to do, he was going to leave the navy for me, I couldn't let him do that…"

"Yeah, especially because you were lying the whole time you were together."

Lisa knew she was fighting a losing battle, she had nothing to lose by telling Frankie everything.

"Look, this is going to sound, well, like a shitty thing to say, but you're all lucky I was the one assigned to this case, that dating him was a part of my plan."

"Oh, give me a break…"

Lisa re-gripped Frankie's hand afraid she would walk away.

"It is, because I got to know the person he was. They had already decided he was guilty, because of Warren, he was out for revenge and I challenged that. I proved that he was innocent, and I knew that I couldn't tell him the truth, that he would never trust me again. So, they killed me off, so it could be a clean break, so that he wouldn't come looking for me. Don't tell me he wouldn't, if I had just left you know that he would have tried to find me. I was best for both of us, and it would have worked if Warren hadn't interfered. He was doing this for revenge, i think he blames Dutchy for the death of his brother, they served together in the gulf. Look, on one hand it was best that I was on the case, but on the other, probably the worst."

Frankie sat there trying to absorb Lisa's explanation.

"Okay…"

She rose from the stool, Lisa grabbed her arm again.

"So?"

"Okay, now I know…"

She walked off, Lisa had hoped that she would offer to talk to Dutchy, but she kept walking. She slumped back into her chair and nodded towards Dan.

"Keep em coming…"

Frankie walked in Dutchy's front door, he was on the couch beer in hand, she sat down next to him deep in thought.

"Where have you been?"

She glanced over to him and grabbed his beer and took a sip.

"Now, don't yell, or storm off, or…"

He snatched the beer back.

"Frankie…"

"I saw Kate…"

"What?"

"I had to know…"

He slammed the bottle on the table and paced the room.

"Know what? Why she pretended to love me, why she wanted to make a fool out of me, why she wanted me in jail?"

"I don't think she pretended…"

He stopped in front of her, glaring down at her.

"So what, you're on her side now?"

"No, I wanted to hear the truth from her…"

"The truth? How can you believe anything that comes out of her mouth… her name isn't even Kate, it's Lisa."

She pulled on his arm making him sit beside her.

"Apparently she didn't know about the murder charge, she was overseas."

"And that's supposed to make me feel better, she was off holidaying and I'm rotting in jail or her murder? What else did she say?"

"She said that she was scared, she really fell for you and if she couldn't just walk away cos you would have tried to track her down."

Dutchy shook his head and took a mouthful of his beer.

"Apparently her coworker was out for revenge, Warren? You served with his brother in the gulf."

Dutchy froze and lowered himself back onto the couch.

"Revenge? Oh my god, he was Will's brother…"

Frankie placed a hand on his arm seeing he was going to a dark place.

"Dylan, you know it wasn't your fault."

He shook the thoughts out of his head.

"So, she's hanging around?"

"I dunno, I think she was hoping that I'd convince you to talk to her."

He sat there focused on the TV, not knowing how to respond.

"Is there a chance you still love her?"

There was silence, she nudged him and he snapped his head in her direction.

"Of course I bloody love her, that's why I'm so mad."

"Okay, well, murder charge aside, do you understand why she did what she did?"

Dutchy frowned looking in her direction.

"You _are_ on her side?"

She moved closer and squeezed his hand.

"Dylan, I'm always on your side, but being on your side also means wanting you to be happy and, I dunno, I guess I see why she did what she did, it was messed up but…"

"I just don't know… I mean, how is this happening?"

"Maybe you should see it as a second chance?"

"And what? I'm just supposed to forgive and forget?"

"No, but I saw how you two were, Dylan, that was real. She wouldn't have done what she did if she didn't love you. I don't think she would have ever gone through with her plan if she knew what Warren was going to do, and her revealing herself, that's going to have consequences."

She picked up his keys and handed them to him.

"She's at the local."

He shook his head and pushed her hand away, she grabbed his hand and placed the keys in his palm.

"If she leaves would you regret not talking to her?"

He glanced at her out the corner of his eye and let out a huff and rose from the couch.

Dutchy stood in the pub's entrance scanning the room, he spotted her sitting at the bar and watched her for a moment, he would do anything to erase the past and start again with her.

Sliding into the chair next to her he cleared his throat, she turned her head slightly and jumped at the sight of him.

"Dutchy!"

He sat there staring at her, tears welled in both their eyes, she slowly moved her hand towards his.

"Dylan, you have to know how sorry I am…"

He moved his hand away and exhaled sharply, he wanted to hear her explain, he wanted an apology, but hearing her voice, all he could hear were lies and betrayal.

"I'm sorry, I can't do this…"

He rose from the stool and walked away, she ran after him and stood in front of him stopping him from leaving.

"I'm not going anywhere, I, I love you…"

He looked up and caught her eye for a second and walked off without saying a word.

She shook her head, she knew it was a lot to ask, but she had risked her career to come back for him. She ran after him and grabbed his shoulder spinning him around.

"Did you hear me? I said I loved you! I have never said that to _anyone_ in my life."

They stood there staring at each other, Lisa could feel her heart pound against her chest.

"I can't believe I'm telling you I love you for the first time while I'm yelling at you!"

She hoped he would thaw for a second, it was the exact way he had told her he loved her. Letting out a grunt he continued to eyeball her in silence, she was about to speak again when he walked way. She panicked, she needed to do something, she yelled out after him.

"You were like coming up for fresh air, it's like I was drowning and you saved me."

He hesitated for a moment then turned and stormed back up to her, she held her breath and took a step back frightened by the look in his eyes. He stood centimetres from her, she could feel the heat from his body.

"Seriously? You want to use a quote to fix this? A quote from a fictional, ridiculous program? Okay, I have one for you... You don't destroy the person that you love!"

She exhaled as tears spilled from her eyes, she knew there was nothing she could say to make it better, she dropped her head in defeat. He let out a hiss and shook his head and walked out.

End Chapter 26

xx


	27. Chapter 27

Hope everyone had a safe and fabulous new year, I was actually quite unwell, not self inflicted. So ended up writing most of the night and fell asleep before midnight, the fireworks woke me up, haha my exciting life ladies and gentlemen.

Anyway this is my new years present to you all, a new chapter! Lol

Promise To Love Me, Even When You Hate Me.

Chapter 27.

Slamming his front door, Dutchy stomped towards the couch mumbling under his breath. Flopping on to the couch, he folded his arms over his chest still mumbling. Frankie looked out the corner of his eye trying to check his mood, she muted the TV and turned to face him..

"Did you yell?"

He sat there staring at the muted TV.

"She finally said it..."

"What?"

"That she loves me..."

Frankie hesitated unsure whether he was happy about it or not.

"Oh, and what did you say?"

"I walked away."

Frankie went to say something but stopped herself, instead she un-muted the TV and rose from the couch.

"Okay, if that's what you wanted."

She sighed and left him with his thoughts.

The next afternoon Lisa wandered along the beach trying to sort through her head, she didn't know whether she should hang around and fight for him, or let him hate her so he could move on with his life. Her phone rang disrupting her train of thought, pulling it from her pocket she let out a huff seeing Shaun's name.

"Boss..."

"Sorry Lis, I know you're dealing with a bit but, I thought I should give you the heads-up, it's not looking good. I'm doing what I can but, Warren's not saying much, and, well, the guys upstairs aren't happy about the whole situation."

"Right, so what does that mean?"

"Ah, a little uncertain at this stage, but I may need you on a plane home at a moment's notice. I haven't told them where you are and why, I think it'd make it a lot worse."

"I'm sorry, Shaun..."

"It's okay, I'll be in touch."

Lisa hung up the phone and dropped on to the sand, raking her hands through her hair she let out a growl. Someone running past stopped and approached seeing her upset.

"Is everything..."

She looked up hearing the familiar voice, the man hesitated as he saw her face, it was 2Dads.

"Oh, it's you..."

Lisa broke eye contact and dropped her head, she knew by his tone that the conversation would not be pleasant. But, to her surprise he sat down next to her. They sat there in silence for a moment watching the waves crash onto the sand, 2Dads was the first to speak.

"Why are you here?"

"I wanna make things right."

He let out a scoff and turned to face her.

"How do you plan on doing that?"

She had no idea, she sheepishly glanced up to meet his eyes.

"Got any ideas?"

He sighed and dug his feet into the sand looking back over to the water.

"Was any of it real?"

She knew he had no reason to trust her, but the fact that they didn't think her feelings about them were real, still hurt.

"Yes, of course, you guys, I mean, I did what I did because of you guys. No, I mean, that came out wrong, I just, I thought it was better for me to disappear, you were right when you said you were like a family. I didn't think anyone would ever forgive me if I told them the truth, but, in the end, I had to anyway, so, jokes on me."

"Joke? Seriously?"

"2Dads, I am sorry. I love Dutchy, this is why I'm here. Do you really think I'd frame him for murder?"

2Dads knew she wouldn't, but he didn't want to cave that easily, she had broken his friend and he did want to give her any empathy.

"Ugh, this is so messed up. He came and saw me, you know, last night, at the pub. I told him I loved him but he walked away. Do you think I'm wasting my time?"

He didn't answer, not because he agreed, because he didn't know. His silence worried her, she wondered it if meant she was right.

"Okay, I hear you..."

2Dads let out a huff, no matter how much he despised her right now, he felt like he was being a hypocrite by not telling her the truth.

"No, sorry, I was thinking. Look, Kate... Ah, Lisa, look, Dutchy is, well, once he's betrayed... To be honest, I don't know. I think I want him to, he deserves to be happy, he seemed happy with you, but I, I just hope you're not lying this time..."

2Dads rose from the sand dusting himself off, she pulled on his hand.

"If he asks, I'm staying at the Oceanview apartments."

2Dads nodded and walked away, Lisa lay back on the sand, she was now a lot less confident than before.

Later that night Lisa sat on her bed in her hotel room flicking through the TV channels, she stopped see a picture of Dutchy on the news.

"In a stunning turn of events, the murder trail of Kate McGregor was dismissed yesterday. It was revealed that Kate McGregor is alive and well, this was all part of a twisted plot by an internal department in the navy to catch one of their own. All charges have been dropped against Petty Officer Mulholland, it is yet to be seen if he will take any action against the department."

Her phone rang beside her, she looked down at the caller ID and sighed.

Picking up the phone she took a deep breath in and answered it.

"Shaun..."

"McDonald, I'm not calling with good news I'm afraid."

"They saw the news?"

"Yeah, it's been on every channel, all day..."

Lisa heard a commotion outside, she ran to the window and peered out the curtain. Reporters had gathered in the courtyard.

"Shit..."

"What's the matter?"

"They've found where I'm staying."

"Well, I need you back here anyway, do you think you can get back here in the morning?"

She pulled the curtain covering the window and sat back on the bed.

"Yeah, sure, nothing's happening here anyway, I think I'm wasting my time."

She hung up the phone and stared at it for a moment, she grabbed her bag for underneath the bed and retrieved a pile of files and picked up her phone.

The next morning Kate checked out of the hotel and stood out the front of the reception, looking at her watch she started to pace. She looked up as she heard a car door slam and approached the driver.

"Hi…"

Mike smiled politely as she reached out to shake his hand.

"Hey."

"Thanks for coming…"

"Ah, sure, I guess I was curious…"

She could barely look him in the eye, she had betrayed all of them, and it was killing her. Dealing with the fallout wasn't normally part of the job description, if she had to deal with it previously she wouldn't have been so proud of what she did.

"I wanted to apologise for, well, I know that you and the crew were negatively affected by my mission, and I'm sorry for the inconvenience."

Mike's brow wrinkled, he wasn't normally a confrontational person, but he couldn't let her emotionless apology slide.

"You're sorry for the inconvenience?"

She exhaled sharply and brought her eyes up to meet his.

"I am, I'm sorry for…"

"Kate, ah, Lisa, you were a part of our family, and not to mention you made him fall for you, and I'm pretty sure you fell for him, and you're sorry for the inconvenience?"

She felt nauseous, she walked to the nearby bench and sat down, Mike followed.

"Look, I know you were doing a job, an important job but… he was innocent, and…"

She didn't mean to yell, she knew she had done a horrible thing, but everyone was acting like she didn't care.

"Don't you think I've tried to apologise? He won't listen, and I understand why but…"

Mike sighed, he was glad she was showing some emotion, even if it was anger, it meant that she cared about what was happening to them, to Dutchy.

"Do you think he could ever forgive me?"

Mike shrugged, he truly didn't know. Kate needed some kind of positive answer, a reason to fight for him.

"Well, if you were him, would you?"

Mike looked over to her and saw the desperation on her face, for a moment he felt sorry for her.

"I can't say because, I don't think I've loved someone as much as he loved you."

Lisa wiped the tears that fell from her eyes and rummaged through her bag and pulled out a folder and handed it to him.

"For him to understand he needs to know everything, can you give these to him and maybe stay with him while he reads them? I know that if I gave them to him he'd probably just chuck them in the bin."

Mike flipped through the pages curious about what answers were in there.

"What are they?"

"There my case notes, files, everything that I had."

He stopped and placed them on the bench in between them.

"Oh, I don't know if that's a wise idea…"

She placed a small black notebook the top on the pile.

"This is my diary, my personal diary. Maybe reading this he could try to comprehend why I did what I did."

Picking up her bag she stood from the bench and placed her hand in front of her.

"It was a pleasure to serve with you, Commander Flynn."

Mike shook her hand and rose from the bench picking up the papers.

"Fair winds, McDonald…"

Later that afternoon Lisa arrived back in Melbourne and made her way to the N.I.I.D headquarters, she exhaled as she knocked on Shaun's door and entered.

"Boss..."

"McDonald, how are you?"

Lisa collapsed on the chair in front of him and rubbed her hands over her face.

"Don't ask..."

He laughed and sat beside her giving her a pat on the shoulder.

"Okay, so, all you need to concentrate on is your side of the story."

She lifted her face from her hands.

"Huh?"

"Ah, as much as I tried to blame this on Warren you haven't exactly come out smelling like a bed of roses."

"Enough with the metaphors, Shaun, how bad is it?"

"Well, worst case, dismissal..."

Lisa slumped back into her chair, she was feeling so many things.

"What am I going to do?"

"You face the bigwigs, you state your case and..."

"And, be fired..."

"Okay, we need to write the report of our lives, you got your diary notes?"

"Ah, yeah..."

She pulled a stack of papers out of her bag and shuffled through them.

Mike knocked on Dutchy's front door, he was in bed and Frankie was making dinner, she swung open the door.

"Oh, Mike, hi…"

"Hey Frankie, is he home?"

She nodded and opened the door further.

"He's in his room, I'll grab him for you."

Mike wandered into the house and sat on the couch, Dutchy exited his room and sat beside him.

"Hi, Boss..."

"Dutchy, how are you?"

"Ah, next question."

He placed the pile of papers on the table in front of him.

"Look, I'm not sure how much you want to know, but I've received a report from the N.I.I.D detailing Kate's mission."

Dutchy pretended not to be interested and shifted in his seat.

"Lisa..."

"Huh!?"

"Her name is Lisa. So, they just gave you her reports?"

Mike didn't want to lie to him, he'd been lied to enough.

"I, umm, she sent me a message wanting to meet up."

"You got this from her?"

Mike nodded, Dutchy pushed the files back in his direction.

"I saw her the other day but I couldn't listen, I couldn't hear past the lies."

"Well, hopefully this can give you some of the facts, it might help?"

Mike picked up the folder and placed it in his lap, Dutchy took a deep breath in as he opened the folder and scanned the page, he read it aloud.

_July 21st 2019. Undercover Operation 2375._

_Officer assigned: Lieutenant Lisa McDonald _

_Location: Cairns, Australia._

_Target: Petty Officer Dylan Mulholland - accused of accepting bribes and threatening illegals._

Dutchy stopped, Mike looked over to him to gauge his reaction, he sat there stone faced.

"This isn't anything new… I don't know if this is going to help."

"If it doesn't, maybe it can give you some closure? Or at least understand her role?"

Dutchy chucked the folder of papers onto the couch and rubbed his hands over his face. Mike pulled out a piece of paper that caught his eye.

"This one's by her boss, Shaun, maybe a different perspective?"

Dutchy refused to take it from Mike's hand, Mike cleared his throat and began to read.

_Over the first week McDonald struggled to bond with the target and the crew, she said she wasn't used to the closeness and familiarity that they had._

_The decision was made for her to wear a wire and to bug HMAS Hammersley and other accessible dwellings to try to help her with background information._

_After reviewing recordings it was determined that McDonald needed to change her tact, she had to show the crew that she was able to let go and not always be in charge. However, McDonald came up with a plan to diffuse the situation, she was going to date the target. Her theory of enemies to lovers proved effective as the more she resisted the more PO Mulholland wanted to get to know her. _

_However, it needed to be noted that her coworker, Warren Delaney, was reluctant to go ahead with the plan. _

_Over the next few weeks they became closer, McDonald closely observed PO Mulholland's behaviour, on and off duty. She continuously reported that she found no suspicious behaviour. Warren Delaney became worried about her state of mind, worried that McDonald was too involved with the case and that she was developing real feelings for him. _

_After months of investigation it was determined that PO Mulholland was innocent, money that was deposited into his account can be traced to inheritance, the alleged witness disappeared, and no physical evidence was ever discovered. _

_McDonald's determination for the truth should be commended as an innocent man could have been charged. _

_After it was determined that PO Mulholland had no charges to answer McDonald insisted that she needed to leave the situation immediately. As the case was nearly at a close, it was agreed that she could leave, the decision was made to kill her off due to the romantic relationship she had started with the target. _

"Does it say who's decision it was to, to umm, kill her?"

Mike shook his head and placed the file on top of the pile, they sat there in silence for a moment, Dutchy turned to face Mike.

"Is that it?"

"I made some calls and, unofficially it's over but they're still looking into the circumstances of her departure."

"Why? She always intended to leave."

"But, the way she left?"

"I dunno. Are you trying to convince me that what she did was okay? Cos it wasn't."

"No, I'm trying to get you to see the facts. Yes, she was sent under different circumstances to what we thought, but it doesn't mean that her feelings weren't real."

"Why is everyone trying to convince me that what she did wasn't horrible?"

"We're not, it was horrible, I only read a couple of pages, I had to know but... just read this..."

He placed the notebook on his lap, Dutchy frowned as he picked it up.

"What's this?"

"Ah, she left it for you but I may have had a peek."

Dutchy fiddled with the notebook unsure of whether he wanted to read it, Mike rose from the couch and patted him on the shoulder.

"Ah, I'll leave you to it, I think Maxine wants to call a meeting in the next few days, but only when you're ready…"

He nodded and Mike made his way to the door.

Dutchy grabbed the bottle of scotch from the liquor cabinet and poured a double to prepare himself. Taking a large mouthful he made himself comfortable in the corner of the couch and opened to the first page.

End of Chapter 27.


	28. Chapter 28

Promise To Love Me, Even When You Hate Me.

Chapter 28

_July 22nd 2019_

_They have assigned me to yet another undercover assignment, I really need to grow a pair and talk to Shaun about a permanent posting. Don't get me wrong, I love the thrill of this job, the action and, well, everything, but as they say I'm not getting any younger. But anyway, I'm off the Cairns to check out a P.O. that's possibly accepting bribes._

_I've never been to Cairns, but I've heard good things, a part from the humidity. Might actually get some time to relax on a white sandy beach, that would be nice!_

_July 24th _

_I met with Commander White today, nice to see a female in charge for once, and I also met my new CO, Mike Flynn. I could tell he was a little apprehensive about me, I'm not sure if it's the fact that I'm new, or that I'm a woman, or both, but we'll see. _

_I also met __him__ today, wasn't really what I was expecting, friendly enough, but from what I've read he's a real piece of work. I already can't wait to finish this one!_

_They invited me to the pub tonight, but I know what happens when you have welcoming drinks, I'm not gonna fall for that again!_

_Okay, so my CO just bought me dinner, is that weird? It's weird, right? And he nearly saw all the files, I had to make up some BS about learning their personalities, but he bought it. Anyway, I guess it was a nice thing to do, but I dunno, still get a weird feeling about this place._

_July 25th 2019_

_Okay, these guys are weird! I was out for a run today, and he appeared out of nowhere. He tried to make conversation, and I just couldn't, but then he cornered me and had the balls to have a go at me about being friendly? Ironic, huh? He's backing me into a corner bout being friendly. _

_I get that I'm not exactly acting like his best friend, but of course Shaun had to stick his nose in. I know I can be, well, a little stiff, abrasive even, but it's hard to be friendly when you know people are doing the wrong thing, he needs to cut me some slack, sometimes this tactic works. _

_We were crash sailed this afternoon, I was so nervous sitting in my car at the docks, I hate feeling unprepared. Then one of the junior sailors scared the shit out of me as I was boarding, they have this obsession with their mascot, like that's going to make any difference if I salute it or not._

_I know they've been talking about me, judging me, I heard him and 2Dads talking about me, but, surprisingly, I think he was defending me. I'm not sure how long they've all been together, I get the feeling it will be hard to penetrate the inner circle, plus they're all boys, and I mean, __boys__._

_Shaun's words must have had some kind of impact because I let something slip today. We were on board, he was trying to check that I was okay after he made me spill my coffee all over me, and I said something about going through worse things. _

_Where the f did that come from? I mean, it's nice to know he's not a complete sociopath, that he has some kind of feelings, but, ugh, get your head in the game! I know I need to let my guard down, but not that much! Luckily we were interrupted by an F.F.V. _

_Actually, not luckily, guess who was on that F.F.V, bloody Warren, I can't believe he got himself on this assignment! I'm so pissed off! And why was he out there? I feel like we're in this bizarre situation where sometimes I feel like he's looking out for me but then other times I feel like he's undermining me. Haven't I got enough on my plate? I'm hating this already, and I've only been here for a few days!_

_July 27th_

_I was too buggered to write last night, I had forgot what it's like to be out at sea, it's exhausting!_

_I saw a bit of his true side yesterday, he questioned my decision to leave the FFV and take no further action, he questioned me in front of everyone! I mean, the fact that he thought Warren was dodgy aside, it probably means he's got good instincts, haha. It showed a bit of his bad side, I'm not sure if this is makes it harder or easier. _

_After we arrived back in port, Commander White called me into her office, I thought I was busted or something and do you know the reason? She wanted to see how I was going? How I was settling in? Who does that? They are definitely weird here!_

_Oh, and to cap off my awesome day, Shaun turned up again tonight, another lecture, does he actually understand how hard my job is? He just gets to watch and listen to my disaster of a life. He told me to relax and go buy new clothes? WTF?! Cos, somehow, that's going to make me a different person? Has he lost it? Please let tomorrow be better!_

_July 29th_

_Okay, I've never been one to love clothes shopping, but spending someone else's money makes it tolerable. Shaun told me to go buy some pretty, so I did, a girl needs a new outfit every day, right? Well, apparently the new Kate McGregor does._

_So, of course the night I try to put myself out there, I even did my makeup, no one is at the pub. I was about to leave then he shows up._

_Somehow I end up inviting him back to my house and spilled my guts, I didn't even have that much to drink! I don't know what it is about him that makes me do that, it was a huge mistake, and I don't make mistakes. I told him things, things that I've never told anyone, but somehow, I couldn't stop talking. I couldn't help it, but then I freaked out, I froze him out, picked a fight. I get this feeling that he actually wants to be my friend, or, he's got no idea about signals. The ruder I am to him the more he tries._

_August 2nd 2019_

_Something interesting happened today, I scheduled a meeting with Warren to try to talk things through. I can't really blame him for being the way he is, I didn't do things right, but I feel like that he should have known on some level that I wasn't ready for the level of commitment that he wanted._

_Anyway, he was obviously frustrated, jealous even, I could tell, but there's nothing to be jealous about this is exactly why I don't, and can't, work with him. But then, he showed up, just as Warren was getting, well, more frustrated. He acted like, we were friends, like he was protecting me then Warren gave me the best idea, he said he acted like a boyfriend. A BOYFRIEND?! Finally, Warren has a good idea, I'm going to date him._

Dutchy tossed the book on to the couch and poured himself another glass. He didn't know why she wanted him to read this, it wasn't helping her case. He turned on the TV, Grey's automatically played and he immediately switched the channels. His eyes darted back and forth from the TV to the notebook, he sighed and picked it back up and skipped the next few pages.

_August 7th _

_Warren nearly blew the whole thing today, but, at the same time, it my have helped my plan. He was spying on me, and Dutchy caught him, I had to, sort of, make up this story about bad guys checking up on me. For once I was thankful that an awful thing happened in my past, cos it made it easier to explain things. Anyway, he insisted on staying at my house, we watched movies like normal friends, it was kind of nice. The next morning he cooked me breakfast, if he wasn't the criminal they said he was I think I'd actually like him as a person._

_August 11th_

_He took me to this secluded beach today, it was beautiful. Something out of a stupid movie, you know where people walk down an empty beach spewing their feelings. That's exactly how it went down, we talked, we connected, like real people, and I'm a little embarrassed to admit that it was actually nice to have a meaningful conversation with someone, even if it was him. _

Dutchy smiled, he could help it, she felt something for him, it was something. The smile soon disappeared as he read the next line.

_But it made one thing clear, this was going to be easy. I'll have him eating out of the palm of my hand in no time._

_August 19th_

_Okay, there' so much going on, I haven't had time to write. I think I'm in a little bit of trouble, is it bad that I'm actually enjoying this? I'm hoping it's the fact that I haven't had a genuine connection with a person in a long time. A tiny part of me wonders if he's really capable of doing the things they say he did. We were on an FFV today, and there was an opportunity to take some cash from the fisherman, he didn't, well I'm pretty sure, like, 99% sure he didn't._

_I told Shaun that I thought he may be innocent, he didn't believe me, which concerned me, he's normally pretty open to my opinions. _

_Surprisingly, the best part of the day was spent with Dutchy. We went shopping in Townsville, a store assistant thought we were together, so I guess I'm playing the part okay. He also took me to Windin falls, and, if this was real life, and I wasn't who I was, and he wasn't who he was, I would have jumped him, right there. He talked about his passion for photography and how it helps him to see the beauty in the world, like seriously, this guy looks like a dumb, tough, jock, but he's got this whole other side. I don't want to be falling for these lines, but c'mon, I'm only human. Later on the guys invited him to the pub, but he chose to hang out with me, I don't know what to do!? Actually, yes I do, I need to shut it down, shut, Dutchy, down._

He couldn't read anymore, he chucked the book onto the coffee table and grabbed the bottle of scotch and headed to his room.

The next morning a delicious smell coming from his kitchen awoke him, rubbing his eyes he flung back the covers and plodded down the stairs.

"Frankie? That you?"

There was no response, he walked into the kitchen and frowned, she was leaning over the kitchen bench with a small book in her hand.

"What you reading?"

She jumped hearing his voice and glanced up at him.

"Have you read all of this?"

He realised that it was Lisa's diary, he scoffed and walked past her and poured himself a cup of coffee.

"Yeah, complete fiction…"

"Ah, how far did you get?"

"I dunno, too far…"

"Well, do me a favour and don't give up yet."

Dutchy looked at her strangely and shook his head.

"What's that saying, don't judge a book by the first few chapters?"

He rolled his eyes as she patted him on the shoulder.

"I think it's, don't judge a book by its cover."

She laughed as she placed a plate in front of him.

"Just shut up and eat your breakfast."

Later that day Dutchy sat on the deck, trying to relax, he glanced back inside and spotted the diary on the bench, it was calling his name. Letting out a huff he made his way inside and grabbed it making himself comfortable on the couch. He mumbled under his breath as he skipped a few pages.

_September 2nd_

_He watches Grey's Anatomy! Seriously!? Come on! I can't even!_

_On a totally different topic, I went to Samaru today, I was a little worried, I've heard some horror stories, but it was actually okay. I over heard Dutchy and 2Dads talking about me, it was perfect, I acted all hurt and he fell for it. It would be perfect if I didn't get these occasional, I dunno, stabs of pain in try stomach, I think it's guilt. It's dumb, I know, but I've always trusted my gut but I don't know what this is telling me. I know I have a job to do, but after spending time with him, he's not really that bad, and it's making me question, well, everything. _

_Side note, I found the cutest puppy, another thing I can't have with this life._

_September 10th_

_Okay, so everything is going smoothly, we're fake dating, and my plan is working. But I'm starting to feel like a little bit of an asshole, he told me this heartbreaking story about his family. They had a farm and lost everything, he and his mother moved to the city and his father stayed on the farm. He went back on day and he found his father dead in a paddock, we're more alike that he knows, then his mother was diagnosed with cancer and died 6 months later. Why can't he be the asshole, the bad guy that everyone's made him out to be, instead, I'm the asshole, a major asshole!_

_I met his neighbour too, she was so sweet, she's like his protector and vice versa. I can't believe she's be friends with a criminal, but it's also made me realise something, I never considered the impact on other people. I mean, fair enough lying to him for the greater good, but there are innocent people involved and they've got no clue about what's going on. Having to get his close is hard, harder than I thought._

_September 19th_

_So, Sam got back to me, the money was from his inheritance, what the fuck, Warren? Something weird is going on, that's a rookie mistake, that's the first thing I would do, check where it came from! I've gotta talk to Shaun, what if they're making a huge mistake? What if I'm making a huge mistake? I know what Warren's going to say when I ask him about it, that I'm getting too close, that I'm too involved, and the worst thing, I think I am, but I'd never admit that to him. _

_October 3rd _

_I tested Dutchy the other day, we boarded and F.F.V and left him alone with undocumented valuables, and nothing. However, I saw him do something strange on Samaru, he gave this guy some money, I'm not sure why. I didn't say anything, I didn't report it, I kept information from my team. As it turns out he was trying to get the puppy I found back to Australia, I mean, I'm glad that he was doing something nice for me, but it doesn't change the fact that failed to disclose important information about the case. What am I doing? Why am I like this?_

_October 7th_

_All these lies, all these stories, it's getting to me! I don't want to be this person for the rest of my life, I think these guys are actually good people, and I can't even be myself around them. I can't let them know the real me and it's killing me, even though they probably wouldn't like the real me, but still. I feel like I could actually have a life here, and I think Shaun is getting worried that I will pack it all in for a happily ever after. I know it could never happen, because, if I had to tell them the truth I don't think they'd ever forgive me, he'd never forgive me._

Dutchy felt his heart beat a little faster, he knew deep down that she wasn't a cold-hearted person, but this made everything worse. He flipped through a few more pages and stopped seeing curse words and laughed.

_October 12th_

_Shit, fuck, shit, this can't be happening! Could I be falling for him for real? I've told him things, things I wouldn't dare tell anyone. I can't let this cloud my judgement, but I can't see any possible way that he's guilty. _

_He was injured on a boarding, and I think I nearly had a panic attack. Then at the hospital I nearly said it, I nearly said those three little words, what is happening to me? _

_It gave me a chance to search his house, man, did that make me feel like a piece of crap, I found nothing. I don't know what to think, could he be innocent? I think I have to tell Shaun they got it wrong, there's no evidence, my feelings aside, I can't let him go down for this._

_October 19th _

_Yep, I think I… okay, I can't write it because I can't let it be true because I'm gonna leave. Sometime soon I'm gonna have to leave, and it's gonna be awful, mostly for him. I have to get used to the idea that I can't be here, but I need to be thankful that he's shown me what I could have, what life could be like with someone if you let them in. I will always be grateful to him or that. But, I can't help resent him, and my job right now._

_October 25th _

_I had a chance to end it today, we had a fight about my job, another lie I've had to manage. I should have taken the out! Stupid, stupid, stupid! I just couldn't. _

_I don't know how I'm going to get out of this one, worse, I don't think I want to. I haven't ever felt the way I do about anyone as I do about Dylan. I can't even talk to anyone about it, I know if I told Shaun, as much as he's like a father to me, he would have to report it, and I don't want to put him in that situation._

_Once again, I'm in a situation that there's no good solution to! What if I just quit, could I just stay and live happily ever after? Of course not, the guilt would eat me alive, Kate McGregor isn't even a real person! After this I don't think I deserve to be happy._

_November 7th _

_Oh, my, god, he said it, and, I think, a tiny bit I feel the same way, but I couldn't say it back. We were in my room and suddenly the door was wide open and they saw us, they all saw us, I'm done, we're done. I don't know what's going to happen now. And then, oh my god, then fuck you Grey's Anatomy, why do you have to torture me? I don't think I'll be able to forgive myself. _

_So, I tried my best to push him away, it was one of the hardest things I've had to do. He made it a little easier by giving me the reason, he was going to give up everything, and I couldn't let him do that. You don't let someone you love, damn it, okay, yeah I said it, I wrote it, whatever. Anyway, you don't let them throw everything away when they don't even know you. I'm officially the worst person in the world, and this is my punishment, not being able to be with the person I love. _

_November 12th _

_I told them to get me out, I have to leave, I've done enough damage, he's innocent and doesn't deserve this. I have to leave now, I can't put him through anymore. It makes me feel sick, that I have to do this, I don't think I actually have a choice. I'm about to leave a man that makes me happy, and he doesn't even know the real me or how I really feel about him. I'm about to blindside him and I hate myself for it._

_November 14th _

_Meredith Grey is my spirit animal._

_"There's a reason I said I'd be happy alone. It wasn't because I thought I'd be happy alone, it was because I thought if I loved someone and then it fell apart, I might not make it. It's easier to be alone, because what if you learn that you need love and then you don't have it? What it you liked it and lean on it? What if you shape your life around it and then it falls apart? Can you even survive that kind of pain? Losing love is like organ damage, it's like dying. The only difference is, death ends. This? It could go on forever."_

Dutchy's heart sank, her feelings were real, he was relieved yet he couldn't just forget about what she had done.

He frantically flipped through the pages looking for more, but they were blank. He sat there for a moment thinking, he reread the last entry, he then realised it must have been the day she died, the day she left.

A single piece of paper fell from the back, unfolding it he took a sharp breath in, tears rolled down his cheeks as he reread the sentence over and over.

_"Promise to love me, even when you hate me."_

End of Chapter 28.


	29. Chapter 29

Hey everyone,

sorry for the delay! I've hit a major writing wall! Please send some motivational vibes my way, please! lol

I know it's shorter than normal but it's better than nothing, right?

Promise To Love Me, Even When You Hate Me.

Chapter 29.

Frankie sat down next to him and placed a hand on his knee causing him to flinch.

"So…"

He didn't respond, she frowned and punched him on the shoulder.

"You've got nothing to say about what you read?"

He let out a hiss and chucked the piece of paper that fell out the book at her, she read it an placed it on the table in front of him.

"So, what are you gonna do?"

He focused on the piece of paper hoping it would give him an answer, he shoved it aside and shook his head.

"Nothing…"

She gave him a shove and wrinkled her face.

"Seriously?"

"Yeah, I don't think I can get past this! She's gone anyway, Mike said she went back to Melbourne."

"Something must have happened then, she said she wasn't going anywhere."

"Yeah, I know, see why I still can't trust her?"

Shaun knocked on Lisa's apartment door, he shifted on the spot unsure of how he was going to break the news.

Lisa sat on her couch watching TV, Grey's Anatomy played but she barely registered what was happening, all she could think about was Dylan.

_Meredith Voice over: It's all anybody wants, right? A clean slate, a new beginning. Like that's gonna be any easier. Ask the guy pushing the boulder up the hill. Nothing is easy about starting over. Nothing at all._

She didn't hear Shaun knock, she was lost in her own thoughts. He pressed his ear against the door and frowned hearing the TV, he knocked again and called out.

"McDonald, open up, it's important."

She blinked a few times bringing herself back to reality, she stayed put for a moment, tempted to ignore him, but she knew it wasn't a good idea, her job was on the line. Shaun placed a smile on his face trying to act normal as she swung open the door.

"Boss..."

He stepped in the doorway trying to keep his upbeat mood.

"Sorry to interrupt your night..."

She flopped back on to the couch and turned off the TV.

"Yeah, sure, didn't you know I was expecting all my friends over for a welcome home party?"

Shaun ignored her sarcasm, he wasn't going to support her new self loathing attitude, especially when his news was going to make it worse.

"McDonald, I've got some, umm, information..."

She gave him her full attention hearing his strange tone, her eyes narrowed as she scanned his face her trying to guess whether it was good or bad news. Her face dropped, she could tell it wasn't good, he had the worst poker face.

"How bad?"

He exhaled sharply, Lisa let out a growl as she grew impatient, a thought crossed her mind.

"Wait, I'm fired, aren't I?"

He cleared his throat and shifted in his seat.

"Well, you were gonna quit..."

She lept up from the couch and paced erratically in front of him trying not to freak out.

"Shit, I mean, yeah, but if I quit at least I wasn't fried for, for breaking all the rules."

Shaun stood up in front of her and placed his hands on her shoulders steadying her.

"Lis, wait, sorry, you're not fired."

She froze and shot him a pissed off look.

"What?"

"Sorry, I just wanted to soften the blow."

She gave him a shove, he couldn't help but laugh, he sat back down on the couch, she followed sensing it was still serious.

"Wait, soften the blow? What could be worse?"

He took a deep breath in worried about how she was going to react.

"It's Warren..."

"Oh, god, what has he done now?"

Shaun hesitated, he didn't want to tell her, but he had to.

"He's gone..."

Lisa tilted her head unsure whether she had heard correctly.

"What do you mean? Gone?"

"He escaped. We umm, we think he had help."

"Ah, okay, so what are you saying?"

"Well, we're just concerned about your safety, so, just as a precaution we're going to place you..."

She shook her head insistently knowing what he was about to say.

"Don't say it... please.."

"We're gonna place you in a safe house."

She sat there staring at him blankly hoping it was a dream, he waved his hand in front of her face.

"Lisa?"

"Shaun, please, look, just give me a gun, I'll be fine."

"Sorry, not my decision, and you're not really in a place to argue."

She knew there wasn't any way out of it, she sat there thinking of the last time she as in a safe house, it made her feel sick. Her last experience had led her to take the position in the N.I.I.D, something that had potentially ruined her life. Shaun was a little confused about her reaction, it wasn't permanent and it was for her safety.

"Where is it?"

"Umm, NSW, central coast... at least you'll be near the water?"

Lisa let out a scoff she wasn't in the mood for silver linings.

A few days later transport had been arranged, Shaun pulled up to a secluded property water's edge and nudged her in the passenger's seat.

"Wakey, Wakey..."

Lisa stretched her arms and looked around, she squinted, it was still dark but the sun was about to peak out from the horizon.

"Why did we have to leave in the middle of the night, and drive?"

Shaun rolled his eyes, she knew why, and he wasn't going to justify her question with an answer.

"So, there are only 2 people who know you're here, me and the director. I've got a new ID for you. Just be good, you'll put yourself, and others in danger if you don't cooperate."

She glanced down at the ID and snatched it from his grip as she exited the car, he shook his head and called out.

"I know how stubborn you can be McDonald!"

He got out the car and unloaded her suitcases, they wheeled them up the front path, she stopped him from opening the door.

"What if the director is involved?"

Shaun let out a huff, he couldn't know for sure, but they didn't have a choice but to trust him.

"Well, I'll be close by, so..."

"And what others would I be putting in danger?"

He plonked her suitcase at the front door and headed back down the path, she called out after him.

"Hey, where are you going? Aren't you gonna check the house for bad guys?"

He turned and laughed.

"Check your bag…"

She frowned and leaned down rummaging in her bag and pulled out a gun.

"Seriously? It's actually that bad?"

She looked back up waiting for an answer, but he was getting back into the car.

"Where are you going?"

"I'll be back in an hour."

Lisa cautiously opened the door and flicked on the lights before entering, she cautiously peered in the door poking her head in. Letting out a scoff she shook her head at herself.

"Don't be stupid…"

She wheeled her suitcase into the first bedroom and sat on the bed, letting out a sigh she flopped back onto it and stared at the ceiling wondering how long she'd be stuck there.

She had just finished unpacking when she heard a car door slam, she peered out the window and saw Shaun unload a suitcase.

"God, he said he'd be close but don't tell me he's staying here like an overprotective father?"

She flopped back onto the couch and turned on the TV, she heard the door unlock and called out still focused on the TV.

"I hope you don't snore!"

"I know you do!"

She whipped her head around hearing a voice that didn't belong to Shaun, she stood up not knowing what to say.

"Dylan…"

He immediately looked away and made his way into the other bedroom, Shaun stepped into the living room and cleared his throat.

"Ah, surprise…"

She stormed up to him looking like she was going to rip his throat out. She clenched her jaw and spoke quietly so Dutchy couldn't overhear, but in a way he knew she was livid.

"Are, you, fucking, kidding, me?"

Shaun smiled nervously, his eyes darted around the room.

"Hey, I thought you'd be thanking me, might give you a chance to mend things."

"He hates me, Shaun, he said I destroyed him. I've hurt him enough, he needs to move on, please just take me somewhere else."

"I can't, sorry..."

Dylan cleared his throat as he made his way back out to the living room, Lisa froze and slowly turned and smiled.

Shaun walked over to the couch, he waved them over. They sat like school children waiting for instructions, he pulled two mobiles out of his pocket.

"There's a phone for each of you, for emergencies only, they're encrypted but you never know who Warren was working with. Only go out if..."

Lisa let out a huff and snatched the phone from his hand and interrupted.

"Only go out if we have to, no routines, no friendships, no habits, I know."

Dutchy frowned at her familiarity of the lecture. Shaun rolled his eyes as he handed Dylan his new ID, Lisa peered over his shoulder and let out a groan.

"Seriously, who's idea was that?"

She stormed off into her room and slammed the door, Dutchy shot a confused look on Shaun's direction.

"Ah, have a good night, I'll be in touch.."

Shaun made a quick exit, Dutchy turned on the TV letting out a sigh.

The next morning Lisa crept out f her room looking for any sign of Dylan, she jumped hearing him snoring on the couch.

She tiptoed over to the kitchen and turned on the kettle, she winced as it made its grumbling noises. Dutchy awoke and stretched forgetting where he was for a moment, he turned hearing the kettle and quickly looked away seeing Lisa.

She reached into the cupboard and pulled out two cups.

"Ah, you want a brew?"

He nodded ever so slightly not wanting to fully communicate with her.

She poured them both a cup and walked into the living room and sat as far away from him as possible sipping on her coffee. Dutchy took a mouthful and cringed as he burnt his tongue.

"Sorry, it's hot…"

He placed the cup back on the table and cleared his throat.

"Why did you get mad when you saw my new ID?"

Lisa walked over to her wallet and took out her ID and slapped it down in front of him. He examined it and frowned taking out his wallet, he pulled his from the card slot and placed it next to hers. His eyes darted back and forth from the names, he read his aloud.

"Sam Harvey."

Then hers.

"Amelia Harvey. We're siblings?"

Lisa raised her eyebrow.

"Not when they're Mr and Mrs..."

She snatched her ID back and shoved it back into her wallet.

They spent the rest of the afternoon in silence, neither of them had the guts to start a meaningful conversation about what had unfolded. Lisa didn't want to upset him further knowing the damage she had caused.

They sat on the couch like awkward strangers staring blankly at the TV, neither one of them registering what was on. Suddenly, Grey's Anatomy began to play, they both reached for the remote and snatched their hands away feeling each other's skin.

Catching each other's eye they shifted away one another, Lisa quickly snatched the remote and changed the channel, Dylan cleared his throat trying to avoid the awkwardness.

"How do you know so much about being in a safe house?"

She shrugged, he looked over to her knowing that she wasn't telling him something. She exhaled and placed he cup on the table.

"I've been in one before… after mum and dad were killed."

"So that wasn't just a story you made up…"

"You really think I'd make something like that up?"

He let out a hiss and folded his arms over his chest.

"At this point in time, yeah…"

Lisa broke eye contact, she knew she deserved that.

"I took this job in the N.I.I.D because of my past, they thought it would be a good idea cos I'd always be changing jobs and names. It was basically the same as being in Witness Protection, not creating relationships with anyone, staying under the radar."

He let out a scoff.

"Under the radar, a murder trial in your honour isn't exactly under the radar."

"I'm sorry…"

He let out another hiss and walked out to the backyard, Lisa ran her hands over her face, it wasn't going to be easy but at least he had initiated the conversation with her.

End Chapter 29.

Don't forget to review! xx


	30. Chapter 30

Promise To Love Me, Even When You Hate Me.

Chapter 30.

A couple of days past, they had spent most of their time in their rooms, only coming out to grab the occasional bite to eat. Lisa had hoped that Dylan's previous willingness to ask questions would have flourish into a meaningful discussion, however, he had receded and had barely said a word to her.

Lisa sat in her room muttering to herself, her inner thoughts were driving her nuts. Dutchy was in the lounge watching TV, loudly, Lisa let out a huff as she lept off the bed and stormed into the lounge and stood in his view.

"I can't do this anymore..."

He frowned as she snatched the remote and turned off the TV.

"Just yell at me, scream, something..."

He stared at her blankly for a moment trying to sort through his feelings in his head.

"Don't you think I want to forget about all of this? But, I can't!"

She let out a sigh and sat on the couch next to him, he couldn't help but shift away from her.

"Did you read it?"

She focused on him, willing him to answer, eventually, he gave the slightest nod.

"So, do you see why I did what I did?"

He did, to a point, but he wasn't ready to admit it, she had hurt him more than anyone ever had in his life. She placed a hand on his knee and he jumped from her touch.

"Dylan, please just talk to me…"

"What do you want to hear first? How you made me feel like I could have it all, perfect job, perfect girlfriend, the perfect life. Or, how you made me feel like my whole life was a joke, a game to you people?"

She dropped her head, she thought he might have thawed a little after reading her diary.

"Dylan, I…"

"How can you even look me in the eye, you tell me that you love me, but…"

"I do, Dylan. You taught me how to love, showed me how good my life could be. I love you so much that it hurts, I thought that you would never forgive me. What I did, I did it for us."

"So, you seriously thought me thinking you were dead was best?"

She reached out for him but he removed himself from the couch.

"Yes, that way you couldn't be angry with yourself, you couldn't blame yourself."

"So, instead you framed me for your murder?"

"No, you know that wasn't me! I came back when I found out!"

He knew she wasn't responsible for that part, but he couldn't hear it, he was still so mad, it needed to be her fault, he couldn't have gone through all of this and not be mad.

"I can't talk about this, I just need some space…"

He went to walk away, she pulled on his arm stopping him.

"Wait! Where are you going?"

"What do you care?"

She released her grip and let him go.

He returned a few hours later, walking past her on his way to his bedroom he stopped and glanced at the mantle that divided their doors. Sitting proudly in the middle was the photo he had taken of them at Windin Falls. He couldn't look at it, their happy smiles were a lie, he let out a hiss of frustration and violently flipped it over.

Lisa exhaled loudly and rose from the couch, she gently knocked on his door not wanting to cause another fight. She waited for a response but there wasn't one, taking a deep breath in she turned the handle and stuck her head in.

"Dylan, please, if we're gonna be stuck here, we have to talk."

He sat on the bed barely acknowledging her presence. She stepped in to the room and waited for an objection, but again there was no response. Placing herself on the edge of the bed she swallowed hard trying to think of something reasonable to say.

"Dylan, it takes a lot more effort to stay mad at someone rather than talk it through?"

He scrunched up his face finally acknowledging her presence.

"How would you know? I bet you've never talked it through with any of the other poor suckers you've made fall for you?"

"There aren't any others…"

"Oh, and that's supposed to make me feel better?"

"No, but…"

"Just go…"

She thought about standing her ground but she had already upset him twice in one day, she didn't want to push him further.

She returned to the couch and took out her phone and messaged Shaun.

"This isn't working, isn't there anyway you can move me?"

A few minutes had passed and he hadn't replied, she sent him a barrage of question marks and he finally replied.

"Sorry, can't right now. Just talk to him."

She let out a growl and chucked her phone on the couch.

The next morning Dutchy awoke to the sound of the front door clicking shut. He rolled out of bed and opened his bedroom door, he spotted the frame which had been up-righted, out the corner of his eye, and shook his head.

Dylan wandered around the house opening various drawers and checked out the other rooms. Flopping back o to the couch he turned on the TV to drown out his thoughts, he knew he needed to stop lashing out at her, but he didn't know how to control his emotions. He loved her but she did an awful thing that shattered his heart.

It was late afternoon and Lisa hadn't returned, he paced around the house worried that something had happened. He took out his phone to message Shaun, as his finger hovered over send he heard the front door unlock. Lisa walked in with bags of shopping, she jumped seeing him standing in the hallway. He stormed up to her, his face full of anger and worry.

"Where the hell have you been?"

She walked into the kitchen confused about his tone.

"Umm, just out…"

"You can't just disappear like that!"

Lisa placed the bags on the counter and tilted her head at his outburst, she was relieved that he was showing emotion. She couldn't help but smile as she unpacked the bags, he frowned at her happy expression.

"What are you smiling for? I thought something had happened to you!"

"You care…"

"Of course I fucking care, haven't you been listening? Do you think I'd be this mad if I didn't care!"

He shook his head as he rummaged around the cupboards, she stood behind him unsure of what he was looking for.

"Ah, you lost something?"

"I need a drink…"

Lisa wandered into her bedroom and returned holding a bottle of vodka.

"Here…"

He peered into the fridge, it was empty, he grabbed 2 glasses from the shelf.

"Shots it is…"

They sat on the couch and he poured two glasses, she didn't want to fight again but maybe the vodka might soften him up, this was the opportunity to get him to talk.

"Okay, we drink, and I'll answer anything…"

Dylan had already finished his glass as she finished her sentence, he didn't respond, Lisa nudged him while downing her glass.

"Okay?"

He poured himself another and downed it and then nodded.

Lisa suddenly got up and pulled a bag of chips from the shopping bag, she opened them as she fell back on to the couch. Dylan looked over to her and raised an eyebrow as she stuffed a handful of chips into her mouth.

"What?"

He couldn't help it, the edges of his mouth curved upwards.

"Always with the food…"

They looked into each others eyes for a moment, Lisa felt a spark of hope, but she also saw the pain in his eyes. She looked away and fiddled with her glass

"I'll tell you anything you want to know."

Dylan sat there spinning the glass around in his hands trying to pick a question from the hundreds that swirled around in his head.

"Before all of this, before Kate McGregor, before Lisa McDonald of the N. , who were you?"

She had to take a moment, it wasn't the question she was expecting.

"I don't know, I was a girl, a naive girl who thought she had a pretty good life. She had parents who loved her and who were proud of her, a girl who had a boyfriend who adored her and…"

A single tear ran down the side of her cheek, Dylan quickly poured her another drink feeling guilty he brought it up, she swallowed her drink just as quickly as he poured it.

"I was someone completely different."

Lisa stared into nothingness, Dylan wasn't sure what to do. He gently slid his hand over and touched hers, she turned to face him and smiled.

"Then…"

She sculled another drink and slammed her glass on to the table.

"Then, I found out what the real world was like, unfair, unforgiving…"

He winced, he didn't mean for the conversation to bring up her parents.

"When your parents were killed?"

"Yeah, and that's when I was put into the safe house, just in case. It was hell, I had no one, I was 19, and was alone for the first time in my life. I mean at least this time I have some company."

She looked over to him to gauge his reaction, his eyes were fixated on her. He realised he was staring and broke focus, he poured then another drink. He handed her the glass and she continued.

"I made them get me out, I couldn't hide forever. But then I started to get these weird feelings, I felt like I was being watched. Then, one day I came home and someone had been in my house. Shaun found out and wanted me to go into witness protection, I refused of course. We came up with this compromise, I join the N.I.I.D, I would be safe as I was under constant surveillance, changing names and jobs and never letting anyone know the real me. It seemed like a good idea at the time, but also, it was my only choice. It took some time to get used to, but then I actually enjoyed it, I was putting guys, like the one who killed my parents, behind bars. It was a win, win. But, then everything changed, I met you."

She couldn't look at him, what if he didn't believe her? She felt his hand squeeze hers a little tighter and her heart skipped a beat. She grasped his hand in hers.

"You changed everything, you have to believe me. I honestly thought I was doing the right thing by both of us. Would you really have forgiven me if I told you the truth?"

Dylan went to speak, she knew that he was going to say he would have, she raised an eyebrow in his direction. He hated that she knew him so well, he let out a scoff.

"I would have, eventually… I'm talking to you now aren't I?"

He filled their glasses again, he still had more questions.

"Who's, who's idea was it for you to, you know, die…"

"It was Warren's. I was just so desperate to get out, I'm sorry it went down like that. When you found me…"

She stopped, a lump formed in her throat thinking of that moment.

"Dylan, it was the worst moment of my life, and I'm not trying to, I dunno. I'm not asking for you to forgive me straight away, I'm not asking you to just pick up where we left off, but I am asking you to just, try to understand why I did what I did, it was all because I love you."

They sat there in silence, tears fell from both their eyes, they were interrupted by the front door slamming against the wall. They jumped off the couch shocked to see a panicked looking Shaun. Lisa wrinkled her face seeing him.

"Shaun? What's the matter?"

He spotted the bottle of vodka on the table and rushed over and poured himself a shot and downed it. Lisa grabbed his arm in an attempt to get him to focus.

"Shaun? What's going on?"

"He's really out…"

Lisa and Dylan looked at each other confused at his statement.

"Shaun, what do you mean?"

He sat on the couch and poured them each a drink and placed it in front of them,

"Just drink it, trust me…"

They looked at each other and shrugged and took a drink, Shaun sheepishly cleared his throat .

"I may have told a tiny white lie before, Warren hadn't escaped."

A simultaneous "WHAT?!" came from their mouths.

"And, before you both lose your minds, I did it for the greater good, how else was I going to get you into a room together? But now, it back fired, he's really gone."

He quickly poured more vodka into their glasses before they could have a go at him.

"You can't help loving love..."

He flashed them a smile and pushed the glasses towards them, they took them looking unimpressed and swallowed them.

"Well, it worked didn't it? You guys were talking when I interrupted?"

Lisa cleared her throat to change the subject.

"So what are we gonna do?"

"We're trying to track down who he was working with internally, he's smart, he can drop off the radar, the good news is my other lie, I'm the only one who knows your here..."

Dylan's eyes narrowed as he sipped on his glass and eyeballed Shaun.

"How do we know we can trust you?"

Lisa whacked him on the chest, they sat in silence for a moment, not knowing what to say. Suddenly, Dylan burst out laughing, Lisa and Shaun shot him a confused look.

"This is ridiculous, it should be some lifetime series."

Shaun looked from Dylan then to Lisa, who was now holding back a giggle.

He picked up the bottle of vodka, it was now 3/4 gone, and shook it in their faces.

"I'm assuming this was full not so long ago, huh?"

They both nodded and they all burst out laughing, Shaun grabbed his bag and pulled another bottle out along with a bottle of soda water.

"Well, I brought this to soften the blow..."

Dylan cracked open the bottle.

"And now it's dinner…"

A couple of hours later Shaun had passed out on the arm chair, Lisa and Dylan were slouched, semi conscious, on the couch. Lisa sat herself up and groaned seeing the second bottle of vodka almost empty.

"What are we doing?"

Dylan rubbed both hands over his face trying to wake himself.

"Drinking away our problems?"

She shook her head and brought her knees up to her chest.

"No, we, us…"

He didn't respond. Taking a deep breath in, she shifted closer, she was sure she'd be able to tell if he was going to forgive her by looking into his eyes. She counted to three in her head and slowly raised her gaze to meet his…

_Meredith voice over: They say the truth sets you free. What the hell do they know? The truth is a horrible thing, frightening. The truth is more than you can bear. So, be careful what you wish for, because when you find out the truth, you may never recover. _

End Chapter 30.

_xx_


	31. Chapter 31

Promise To Love Me, Even When You Hate Me.

Chapter 31

Lisa awoke feeling her body rock from side to side, at first she thought it was the consequences from the previous night's drinking session, but as she willed her eyes to open she soon discovered she wasn't in her bed. Rubbing her eyes, she attempted to sit up. Reaching out beside her to steady herself she placed her hand on something squishy, a deep moan startled her, and she turned to find Dylan laying beside her. Her hangover was the last thing on her mind as her eyes focused on her surroundings, they were in a small room, wood paneling made up the walls, and she smelt the ocean, instantly she knew they were on a boat. She frantically shook Dylan's shoulders tying to wake him.

"Dylan, wake up!"

He muttered under his breath and turned himself over, she tried again, this time with more force.

"Dylan! Please! Something's wrong."

He bolted up right and grabbed his forehead letting out a pained groan.

"What?"

She waited for him to discover what she had moments before, he dropped his hands as he felt the rocking of the boat realising something was off.

"Ah, where are we?"

Dylan scrunched up his face trying to focus.

"What the hell happened last night?"

Lisa scrambled to the port hole trying to decipher where they were, she could only see the horizon, she tried the door next, but it was locked. Dylan looked around completely confused about the situation.

"Did we go out and think it was a good idea to rent a boat?"

He lay back on the bed and placed a pillow over his face, Lisa rolled her eyes and continued to try to find a way out.

"Sure, then we locked ourselves in here!"

"So, are we assuming its a good thing we're on this boat, or a bad thing?"

She stepped back and fell on to the bed as she heard footsteps and the lock unlatch, the door swung open, and they couldn't help but gasp seeing Warren standing in the doorway. Dylan leaned in towards Lisa and whispered.

"Bad, definitely bad…"

Warren smirked as his eyes darted back and forth from Lisa to Dylan.

"Nice and cozy are we?"

Dylan attempted to rise from the rack, but as he stood his hangover took over and he stumbled backwards. Warren laughed watching him fall back onto the bed.

"You gotta be more careful about how much you drink, or rather, whom you drink with! Never know what they'll slip into your drink, and where you'll end up!"

He let out an evil cackle and left locking the door behind him, Dylan glanced over to Lisa waiting for her to react to Warren's comment, but she didn't seem phased. She continued to fiddle with the door handle, Dylan cleared his throat trying to get her attention. She let out a hiss, she was ignoring him, she knew what he was trying to imply and turned back to face him.

"What? Seriously, you think I'd do something like this to you, again?"

"Well, that only leaves…"

She waved her hands and shook her head dismissing his accusation.

"No, there's no way, Shaun is like a father to me and…"

"Well, it's either him, or you."

She turned back to the door and pulled on the handle harder.

"Would you stop, he's just said that to mess with our minds, don't you see?'

Dylan rose from the bed and pulled on her shoulder making her face him.

"No, I don't see, the only thing I see is my life being a complete mess, because of you!"

He turned away from her and folded his arms over his chest, she ignored his childish actions but deep down his words still hurt, she thought they were making progress.

"Can we just try to figure this out, you can continue to hate me later, okay?"

Dylan's arms dropped, he sighed as he turned back to face her.

"I don't hate you…"

She gave up on the door and sat back down next to him, they caught each other's eye for a moment, Lisa quickly looked away, she needed to focus, if there was any chance of her and Dylan sorting things out she needed to get them out of this mess first.

"Well, umm, have you got your phone?"

Dylan patted his pockets, they were empty.

"Nope… lets just take him out and get back to shore."

She threw her hands in the air frustrated at the simplicity of his solution.

"Oh, sure, he's only been planning his revenge for what, a year, or more, so he's just going to give up, cos we tell him too?"

He let out a growl and moved closer.

"Can you just work with me here? I know you're not used to having a partner, but we need to work together."

2Dads clunked around the kitchen looking for the sugar, Mike walked past the galley window and frowned hearing 2Dads muttering to himself. He made his way round to the door and stood in the doorway waiting for 2Dads to notice him. He jumped not expecting to see Mike and spilled his coffee down his front.

"Shit, ah, sorry, Boss."

"Leading Seaman, what's got you in a mood?"

2Dads looked away not wanting to explain his frustrations, Mike stood close waiting for him to explain.

"2Dads!?"

He sheepishly glanced back up at Mike then back down at his coffee.

"Ah, in private?"

Mike gave him a nod, and they made their way to the senior sailors mess. Mike handed him a towel to clean up the coffee from his shirt.

"Thanks…"

"Now, what's going on?"

2Dads let out a sigh and sat down.

"The ships not the same, Boss. it's just, the new guys, I know it's not their fault but, it's not the same!"

"2Dads, there's always going to be changes to the crew, you know that's inevitable."

"Yeah, but, I mean, Dutchy was with us for ages, and I know she did some crappy things but Kate, I mean, Lisa, she was becoming a part of the family too."

"Look, I know it's hard when people move on, and I guess this was such a strange situation, but you'll get used to Perry and Dawson, just like you got used to Dutchy and Lisa."

"Yeah, I guess, the other thing is that he's not replying to my messages. I know he may have needed a fresh start, but he didn't even say goodbye, to any of us, don't you think that's a bit weird?"

"You know Dutchy wasn't good at feelings."

"Yeah but, Boss, seriously, just to leave, without a word? We deserved a goodbye, something!"

Mike nodded, he felt the same, although he hadn't expressed his true feelings to anyone.

"Yeah, if I'm gonna be honest, I was a little hurt too."

"Could you maybe find out where he went? Where he was posted? I just wanna have a chat, that's all. "

"I'll see what I can do."

"Thanks, Boss."

Mike exited the room as XO Dawson entered sat opposite 2Dads.

"Hey…."

2Dads barely looked up from his coffee.

"Hi…"

"So umm, haven't had much of a chance to chat since I arrived…"

Mike hovered at the door, he peered back in and gave 2Dads a slight nod of encouragement.

"Yeah, it's always pretty full on, I guess…"

"So, umm, I'm assuming you and the guys that left, were mates?"

2Dads nodded slightly while taking a sip of his brew.

"Look, I know I've technically replaced them but doesn't mean we can't be mates…"

"Yeah…"

"Well, why don't you tell me about them? Dutchy was it? And ah, Kate?"

"Look, I know you're trying to be nice, but it's a long complicated story and…"

Dawson picked up his mug and rose from his seat knowing that he wasn't going to get very far.

"Okay, well maybe another time."

Back on the boat Lisa and Dylan continued to butt heads on how to deal with their situation. Dylan's stood awkwardly on a chair, his ear pressed against the ceiling of the cabin.

"I think I've heard 3 or 4 different voices."

"Okay, so all that means is that we're outnumbered."

"Yeah, and at sea, maybe we should just wait till someone comes down and we try to overpower them?"

Lisa scoffed at his idea, he was frustrated that he was vetoing all his ideas, he responded with a hiss.

"What, you got a better idea?"

"No, I don't, okay, I just…"

She couldn't keep defending herself, it was exhausting fighting all the time.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry for everything…"

Tears streamed from her eyes, Dylan hesitated seeing her change in emotion, he sighed knowing he needed to stop being so aggressive. He shifted closer to her trying to be more sympathetic.

"It's okay, he's after me, this isn't your fault."

He reached out and squeezed her hand and chuckled.

"Well, actually, we're both to blame…"

She gave him a halfhearted smile and got up and headed for the door.

"What are you doing?"

"I'm not just gonna sit here waiting for them to…"

She turned and slammed her fists into the door.

"Hey! Warren, come and face me! You're such a coward! Do you hear me?"

After a few minutes they heard footsteps, the door swung open and two men stormed into the cabin. They shoved Lisa to the ground and grabbed Dylan, he tried to struggle out of their grip but the bigger of the two punched him in the stomach, he doubled over in pain.

They dragged him to the upper deck and closed the door leaving Lisa alone, she recovered and continued to bang on the door.

Up on deck Warren stood in front of Dylan, the two men holding him dropped him onto the ground. Warren laughed as he hit the floor.

"Not so tough now, are we?"

Dylan staggered to his feet clutching his stomach.

"Yeah, but neither are you, you had to get someone else to do your dirty work. How could you do that to her, I thought you cared for her?"

Warren stood above him as he tried to compose himself, grabbing his hair he jerked Dylan's head up forcing him to look at him.

"I dunno, I thought you cared about my brother, and yet, you left him to die?"

He let go of his hair and kicked him in the ribs, Dylan recoiled and curled up on the floor.

RO ran up to the bridge looking panicked, the crew on the bridge stopped at turned staring at him.

"Boss! There's report of a guy being assaulted on a vessel not far from here…"

"Ah, where are you hearing this?"

"I've had someone radio a mayday, but it wasn't for them, they don't want to get involved so they're tracking the vessel, I've got the last known coordinates."

Mike nodded towards 2Dads who was sitting at the EOD.

"Right, 2Dads, bring up the coordinates on the radar, lets get to them ASAP, and let me know when we have a visual…"

"Yes, boss…"

20 minutes later 2Dads lept up from the EOD.

"Boss, we have a visual…"

Mike, 2Dads and XO Dawson surrounded the screen, they squinted trying to make out the scene.

"Looks like a few guys on deck, nothing sus…"

RO interrupted.

"Boss, the guys on the radio were adamant that they were trouble. I mean why would they lie?"

"Okay, lets just observe, they're an Australian flagged vessel, we have to play this one by the books."

Lisa leaned up against the door, she was exhausted from yelling and throwing her body at the door, she hadn't stopped since they had taken Dylan. She scanned the room looking for anything that could aid her escape, she rummaged around in the cupboards and draws. She spotted a fire extinguisher and snatched it out of the holder and continually bashed it against the door lock. The lock finally gave way and she stumbled on to the deck startling everyone.

"Stop!"

She threw herself over Dylan in an attempt to shield him, Warren held up his hand indicating for his thugs to leave her. He shook his head as he approached her.

"Lisa, Lisa, Lisa, always has to be the hero!"

She went for him and he nodded towards the men, they grabbed her before she could make contact and held her at bay as Warren stood close.

"I can't believe you actually fell for this schmuck! You know he left my brother to die, like a coward."

"Warren, it wasn't his fault."

"What? C'mon, you're smart, how isn't it his fault? He was supposed to have his back!"

Warren removed a gun from his belt and aimed it at Dylan's head.

2Dads moved his head closer to the screen.

"Ah, Boss, I think we better send a RHIB, at the rush…"

Mike walked over to the EOD, his eyes widened seeing a figure holding a gun at Dylan's head.

"Is that…"

2Dads nodded.

"Dawson, assemble a boarding party, at the rush, extra plates! GO!"

Lisa tried to struggle out of the thugs grip, but they were too strong. They all stopped hearing someone approach from the rear of the boat, Lisa's jaw dropped seeing Shaun.

"Shaun?"

Warren laughed and grabbed her face and whispered in her ear.

"Oh, look at that, you really are alone…"

Tears welled in her eyes as Shaun positioned himself beside Warren.

"I can't believe you!"

Warren aimed the gun at Dylan's head, Lisa struggled against the men and managed to free herself, she stood in between Warren and Dylan.

"No! Warren, please, if you want to hurt him, shoot me… He loves me, you want to get back at him, take someone he loves, take me…"

She felt a hand pull on hers and looked down, Dylan had tears in his eyes.

"It'll be okay…"

She shook her head and stood her ground.

"I don't have anyone, Dylan, you've got people that care about you, no one will miss me…"

Warren let out a groan and pretended to wipe his eyes.

"Oh, boo hoo, isn't this touching! It doesn't matter anyway, I was gonna kill you both!"

They all froze hearing a motor, Lisa's eyes widened seeing the RHIB approach. She glanced in Dylan's direction, he gave her a nod, Dylan lashed out while everyone was distracted.

Gunshots rang out as the Hammersley crew jumped aboard, Mike watched anxiously for what felt like an eternity. Minutes later the gunfire ceased, he held the binoculars to his eyes scanning for any signs of life.

"Please be okay..."

There was an eerie silence, he picked up the radio.

"Papa eight two to X-ray eight two, sit rep? Over."

There was just static, Mike held his breath waiting for a response. The radio crackled, and he fumbled to his mouth.

"X-ray eight two, do you copy?"

"Papa eight two, this is X-ray eight two, we copy, Boss."

"Sit rep? Is everyone okay?"

There was a pause before XO Dawson answered.

"Ah, it's not good."

Mike sighed and dropped the radio, running his hands over his face he collapsed back on to his chair.

End Chapter 31

xx


	32. Chapter 32

Promise To Love Me, Even When You Hate Me

Chapter 32

Her eyelids fluttered open, she blinked a few times waiting for her eyes to adjust, but the light was too much. Lifting her arm she tried to block it out, after a few seconds her arm became heavy and she dropped it back beside her, everything hurt. Her mind refused to steady as all she could hear was the incessant noise of machines beeping around her. Blinking furiously she clenched her jaw commanding her brain to focus, she attempted to sit up, but the movement made her yelp out in agony.

"Shit…"

She frowned as she inspected the cords that were attached to her body and shook her head.

"Hi…"

The deep voice made her flinch, a twinge of pain shot through her body.

Her head turned slowly trying to find the voice, a man stood from the chair in the corner of the room and approached the bed.

"How you feeling?"

Tilting her head she stared at the man as he perched himself on the end of her bed.

"I'm having deja vu, and… where do I know you from?"

"Ah, you don't, but you saw me, on the boat…"

She heaved herself upright and brought her knees to her chest placing her head in her hands.

"Ugh, I don't remember…"

"I'm Jonathan Dawson, ah, technically Captain, but have been acting as your replacement on Hammersley..."

She looked up at him scrunching her face trying to figure out what question to ask first. He could see she was struggling and cleared his throat, he smiled as he placed his hand out in front of her, Lisa obliged and shook his hand.

"It's nice to meet you, Ms Harvey."

Lisa withdrew her hand forgetting about the million questions in her mind.

"My name is Lisa McDonald…"

"Oh, from what I was told your new identity is Amelia Harvey?"

She shuffled in the opposite direction trying not to make it too obvious.

"Wait a minute, how do you know my aliases? How do I know you're on my side?"

He tried to reassure her with a friendly smile, he hadn't been told the whole story but he could tell by looking into her eyes she had been through a lot.

"I umm, I was brought in late, I know that things got messy after you left and umm, resurfaced, and I was placed on Hammersley to see if there were any loose ends, just in case. They were concerned that Shaun had turned too…"

Chills ran down her spine hearing his name, Jonathan knew by the frustrated expression on her face that she hadn't figured out the truth.

"He didn't betray you, we asked him to do it. We had to be sure that he was clean. We had him contact Warren and…"

She raised her hands to pause the conversation.

"Hang on, you planned all of this? You put me, us, on that boat with him?"

"Well, the plan was to have him come to the safe house, but it didn't exactly pan out like that. The vodka Shaun brought you was laced with something, Warren must has suspected that Shaun was faking it, and he took you all to the boat. Shaun was able to convince Warren he was still on his side and luckily we hand enough evidence against him when the Hammersley interrupted.

"Luckily? Seriously? Warren was about to kill us, so yeah, luckily they came along. Where the hell were back up?"

"They were there, we wouldn't have let anything happen…"

She rolled her eyes not believing him.

"Where's Shaun? And Dylan? I need to speak to them."

"What you need to do is think about everyone's safety, including your own."

"So, they're okay, they're alive?"

Jonathan sat there in silence not giving anything away, Lisa slammed her hand on the bed refocusing his attention.

"With all due respect Captain, I know you out rank me but…"

"It's for your own safety."

"I don't care, I just need to know if they're okay…"

He sat there stone faced, she let out a huff and chucked back the covers. Letting out a hiss of pain she maneuvered her legs over the side of the bed, Jonathan let out a sigh and attempted to help her stand but she swatted his hands way.

"I heard you were stubborn."

She stumbled to the door and attempted to turn the handle, it was locked, she turned and raised an eyebrow in Jonathan's direction. Jonathan sat back down on the bed and folded his arms over his chest.

"For your safety."

She exhaled sharply and defiantly stood at the door.

"Okay, I'm gonna ask you one more time, where I am? And where are Dylan and Shaun?"

"I'm sorry, I can't disclose that…"

She wrinkled her face placing her hands on her hips.

"Oh, bullshit!"

She stood there, eyes focused on him, waiting for him to cave, but he didn't budge.

"Okay, so can you tell me what happened to Warren?"

He sighed and unfolded his arms, he knew he needed to give her something.

"He didn't make it, but we're still not sure about who was working with him, but we'll get them."

"Yeah, you will, so I can go then?"

He didn't respond.

"Can I at least see Dylan?"

He shook his head, Lisa clenched her firsts at her side, she was in frustrated and in pain, she didn't have time to play games.

"And why not?"

"Because he, he's, look, it's for your…"

She rolled her eyes and interrupted.

"For my own safety, yeah, I heard you the other hundred times, so, where is he?"

He paused before answering choosing his words wisely.

"Lieutenant, you made your choice, and now you need to move on, for you own..."

"Don't even say it!"

She stormed up to him trying to intimidate him.

"Captain, where is he?"

He refused to answer, she stomped back to the door and violently shook the handle, Jonathan couldn't help but chuckle.

"It's still locked…"

She couldn't be in the room for another second, she looked around and spotted a towel sitting on the chair, she picked it up and wrapped it around her hand. Jonathan immediately stood up realising what she was about to do.

"Harvey, I'm warning you..."

She hesitated and closed her eyes taking a deep breath in.

_Meredith voice over: So, do it, decide. Is this the life you want to live? Is this the person you want to love? Is this the best you can be? Can you be stronger? Kinder? More Compassionate? Decide. Breathe in. Breathe out and decide."_

She exhaled and summoned all the strength in her body and smashed her hand through the glass, it shattered everywhere. Fiddling with the door knob on the other side she unlocked the door and swung it open. Jonathan rose from the bed and shook his head as he watched her walk out.

"Stubborn and ballsy…"

She stumbled down the hall way peering into each room, she stopped as she saw Dylan curled up on a bed. As she reached for the door handle she felt a hand on her shoulder, she turned seeing Jonathan.

"Wait, he has been told the same things as you, to move on…"

"What he thinks I'm dead?"

"If you go in there and mess this all up, we can't help you anymore, you'll be alone."

She turned back to face him while unlocking the door.

"I won't be alone, I'll have him..."

Running into the room she flung herself on to his bed startling him. He grabbed her by her shoulders attempting to register that she was alive.

"Oh my god, you're okay…"

She nodded as they held each other and tears poured down their faces, Dylan cupped her cheek in his hand.

"I understand why you did what you did, they told me you wouldn't be safe, that..."

"I know, and this maybe completely selfish but, Dylan, I can't go back, not after you, not after knowing what our lives could be like. I hurts me to think that us being together puts you in danger, but, the thought of us not being together, it hurts more."

They heard a chuckle from the door way, Shaun leaned on the door frame looking little worse for wear. Lisa ran up to him and threw her arms around him.

"You idiot! You really got me! Why would you do that?"

"Hey, couldn't let you have all the fun! I'm glad you're okay, and I knew you'd make the right decision..."

She looked back at Dylan and then at Shaun confused.

"Huh?"

"You chose to have a life..."

"Yeah, well, potentially a short one according to Jonathan."

He let out a hiss and rolled his eyes dismissing her comment.

"I know what he said, just ignore him, he doesn't have our history, I've got you…"

He nodded towards Dylan as he walked up behind Lisa and wrapped his arms around her.

"And, now him too, I guess..."

Dylan gave her a squeeze and a kiss on the cheek.

"I'll take good care of her…"

Shaun gave him a slight shove and raised an eyebrow.

"You better, I can make you disappear, remember!"

Dylan let out a chuckle assuming it was a joke, Shaun's eyes narrowed as he stared at him. Lisa laughed and whacked him on the chest.

"Stop! I can take care of myself thank you very much. So umm, now what?"

Dylan gave her a slight squeeze.

"Well, we do what he said, have a life! So, in saying that, I have something the ask you..."

His serious tone made her heart beat faster.

"Ah, okay..."

He grasped her hands in his and gazed into her eyes.

"Lisa McDonald, will you…"

Lisa held her breath, her eyes widened afraid of what he was about to ask.

"Will you date me?"

She snorted as she rolled her eyes and pulled him in for a kiss. Dylan laughed as they parted.

"I'll take that as a yes..."

_Alex voice over: Today's the day my life begins. Today I become accountable to someone other than myself, accountable to you, to our future, to all the possibilities that life has to offer. Together, no matter what happens, I'll be ready for anything and everything. To take on life, to take on love. Today our life begins, and I, for one, can't wait." _

The End.

_A/N: Well, that's it guys! I wrote 4 different endings to this and this was the one that felt right. I was so desperate to do it justice, after one hundred thousand words it needed to be lol. Thanks for sticking with me, I hope you've enjoyed the wild ride! _

_Until next time... xx_


End file.
